Route 66 Reunions (59 page)

“We can work through it, Mandy. Because of all that’s gone on before, we’re stronger now. We can make it this time. I know we can.” He held her close, but she pulled away.

“I’m sorry, Chad. I love you, but we can’t be more than friends.” She jerked the door open and stepped out before he stopped her again. “It’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A
manda would never forgive him. No matter what she said to the contrary, the barrier of unforgiveness stood between them. He watched her tail lights disappear and locked the door. What had he done to deserve this? He’d lost Amanda because of what? Being stupid enough to believe Susan. That’s what. He slammed the heel of his hand against the door frame and winced, glad for the painful distraction.

He rubbed his hand. Amanda wasn’t blameless. Why’d she run off to California so quickly anyway? And get married to the first guy she met?

He sank to the sofa and let the long-ago events that had ruined his life run through his mind. Sometimes his life seemed a total waste. For the last several years, he’d poured all his energy into being the best teacher he could. Wasn’t there more to life than that?

The emptiness of his life gnawed at the center of his core causing him to jump from the sofa. He strode silently back to Kara’s bedroom and stood looking down at her. She was becoming more precious to him every day, but she didn’t come close to easing his restlessness. Maybe she contributed to the strange foreboding he couldn’t shake. He didn’t know.

He grabbed the baby monitor and clipped it to his belt. He needed to get out of the house for a while. Outside, the stars twinkled against a darkening sky. Amanda should be almost home by now. But he wouldn’t think of her. He forced his mind to the barn raising set for the next day and headed toward the cement floor where the materials were stacked and waiting. It was too late, but he’d make a final check of lumber and supplies to get his mind on something besides his discontent.

The first car pulled into Chad’s driveway while he tried to dress Kara. At least she wasn’t crying anymore. After a week of seeing him every day, she must have decided he wasn’t a monster after all. Or maybe Amanda was right. Maybe he’d figured out Kara wouldn’t break if he touched her. She still watched him with wary eyes, but she didn’t arch her back and scream, trying to get away from him.

“Here, babe, let’s get you ready for the big day.” He found the neck of a cotton knit shirt and pulled it over her head, as a knock sounded and the front door opened.

Amanda stepped in and grinned at them. “Aren’t you two ready yet? I figured as much, so I came early.”

“Hey, we’re doing pretty good.” Chad defended himself, while his heart lurched at the sight of her. “If you hadn’t come early, we wouldn’t have gotten caught.”

She laughed. “Maybe, but the others aren’t far behind me.” She sat on the sofa beside Chad and helped him guide one arm and then another through Kara’s shirt. “This is cute. It looks like it has another shirt underneath, and I love pink. Why can’t I ever find anything like this in my size?”

“That’s the breaks.” Chad grinned at her. Sitting so close with his baby niece reaching for her and saying “Manmaa” gave him a sense of family. Granted most of his feelings were wishes, but still he couldn’t help thinking life had dealt him a cruel blow. This mock family scene should be real. He and Amanda should have a teenager by now. Or, at least a preteen. If not for Susan, they’d have been married well over fourteen years.

He believed they’d been given a second chance, and he planned to take advantage of it. Last night he’d tossed through the night, grabbing snatches of sleep while his thoughts dwelled on Amanda and all they’d lost. Maybe she hadn’t forgiven him yet, but she would. As she said, she came from a family who believed in forgiveness.

“Has she eaten yet?” Amanda’s question brought him to the present.

“Um, no. Am I supposed to feed her before I dress her?” He watched her cuddling the baby who had somehow transferred to her lap and wondered if he’d ever learn to be a decent father.

Amanda’s smile set his heart pounding again. She shrugged. “There’s no rule. It’s just easier to keep her clean if she eats before she dresses.”

“Oh.” He stood and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll fix some cereal. How messy can it be?”

Amanda mumbled something that sounded like, “You’d be surprised.”

He ignored her and got out the baby cereal and fixed a bowl. He also found a bib and handed it to Amanda.

Kara was still eating when they heard tires crunching gravel in the driveway. Chad headed for the door. “I’d better get outside.”

“Go ahead. We’re fine. We’ll be out as soon as the bowl’s empty.”

Chad opened the front door and found not one car but a whole caravan pulling into his driveway. As if directed by an unseen traffic controller, the trucks, vans, and cars angle parked to either side of the drive. His truck sat at the end, and Amanda had pulled into the yard close to the house. Their vehicles were blocked, but he didn’t figure it mattered. In fact, he was glad. She’d have to stay until the last car left now.

He smiled and stepped off the porch to greet the church people he was rapidly coming to think of as friends. Pastor Mattson led the way with his hand outstretched. As they shook hands, he said, “Well, the crew’s here. We’ve got experienced carpenters and a host of helpers. The women have brought enough food to feed everyone with plenty left over, I imagine.”

“We have for sure.” Mrs. Mattson stepped close to her husband. She shook Chad’s hand. “Would you mind if we take over your kitchen today? Some of the ladies have brought dishes that need to be heated.”

“Of course.” He looked toward the house as Amanda stepped outside, Kara balanced on her hip. “Amanda can help you with that.”

The pastor and his wife exchanged surprised looks. Chad expected them to ask questions about his relationship with Amanda, but one of the men called to the pastor. Women carrying covered dishes and full grocery bags brushed past, asking where they should set up dinner preparations. Chad pointed them toward Amanda, and they scurried toward her.

Brenda Davis, Amanda’s mom, patted Chad’s arm as she walked past. “Looks like we’ll finally get that barn back up.”

“Yes, finally.” Chad had no sooner answered than Linda Maddox stopped beside him.

She held a casserole dish. Her head tilted to one side as she looked toward Amanda with Kara in her arms, directing the women inside. Her voice dropped to a confidential level. “She looks at home on your front porch, Chad.”

“I’d like for her to be at home.” He knew Linda had reservations about him. She didn’t know the whole story. Maybe Amanda’s folks did know. Maybe that helped them be more forgiving. “I hope before long she will be.”

“Just don’t hurt her.” Linda frowned. “She’s been through enough.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “If anyone gets hurt, it will be me—again.”

Linda looked into his eyes as if trying to decide what game he was playing. After a bit she nodded. “Maybe so. Do you mind if I add you to my prayer list?”

Her question surprised him so much he took a step back. Did he mind? He’d once believed in prayer. Even now he didn’t disbelieve. He just didn’t know if God cared enough to answer. Maybe He did for people who were especially close to Him. Maybe Linda’s prayers would rise to God’s throne while his wouldn’t.

He shrugged. “I can’t see where it would hurt anything.”

She smiled. “No, it won’t hurt anything. If we believe, we might find the help we need.” She stepped away. “Here comes Brad. I need to get this to the kitchen.”

Chad realized that most of the men had already gathered at the barn site. A few straggling women headed toward the house. Kids of various ages ran around the house playing, and several had formed a baseball game in the roomy yard.

Amanda’s brother called to him. “Hey Chad, we need your input out here.”

Chad hurried to fall into step with Brad as they walked with long strides out to the barn site. “It’s great to have you all here, Brad. Before this summer I would’ve never expected Amanda or her family to treat me with anything short of contempt. It’s still hard to believe.”

Brad grinned. “Don’t know where you’d get that idea. No one’s perfect. I always figured you got a bum deal. I met Susan a couple of times when she and Amanda were friends. Twice was enough for me.”

“I should’ve seen what she was before I did.”

Brad shrugged. “So you made a mistake. Mistakes can be corrected. Seems that God has His hand on you and Amanda. You’ve been spending some time together this summer. Have you thought about seeking His will?”

“Prayer?” Chad almost laughed. First Linda and now Brad had mentioned prayer, and he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d prayed. He should’ve expected as much with church people. He shook his head. “Not really, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Here’s the man we need.” Pastor Mattson called out with a wide smile, and Chad silently thanked him for distracting Brad. He welcomed the activity that kept them too busy to visit as they broke into groups to begin construction of his new barn.

Amanda lost Kara within minutes of the women invading Chad’s house. After helping set casseroles, bags of various kinds of chips, meat platters, and dessert dishes on the table, she went looking for her baby. And mentally corrected herself for thinking of Kara as hers. Losing her when Chad took her to Rockford in another month would be hard enough without becoming too attached. If she hadn’t already.

The women were spread out from the kitchen, through the dining room, and into the living room, visiting and preparing the noon meal. A couple of ladies stood on the deck outside, but Amanda didn’t see Kara with them. She moved on to the living room. And found her.

In Brenda Davis’s arms.

Amanda’s mother sat in the rocker recliner with Kara on her lap. Amanda stood in the wide arched doorway between the two rooms and watched her mother squeeze the baby close and drop a kiss on her head.

“Looks like Grandma’s getting acquainted.” Linda’s low voice behind Amanda startled her.

She turned with a frown. “I thought you wanted Chad to stay away from me.”

Linda’s eyebrows rose. “Did I say that?”

“I guess not exactly.” Amanda shrugged. “It’s more a feeling I had.”

“Is he living the Christian life?”

With a dozen women visiting and moving about the three-room area, Linda’s voice didn’t carry beyond Amanda’s hearing, but still she glanced at her mother. And smiled. Grandma, indeed. Oblivious to all but the baby on her lap, her mom played patty-cake with Kara and they both laughed.

“Kara doesn’t have a grandma.”

“Amanda?” Linda touched her shoulder. “What’s that got to do with Chad’s spiritual condition?”

Amanda blinked and turned to look at Linda. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking. Mom didn’t get to see Charity much because we lived so far away, but Jeff ’s parents were there so she had grandparents who spoiled her terribly. Kara has never known a grandparent’s love. That’s a little sad, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I guess so.” Linda smiled at Amanda’s mother. “Brenda looks like she’d be willing to fill in though. So, why don’t you answer me?”

“About Chad?” Amanda turned to look fully into Linda’s eyes. “I don’t know. I thought he was a Christian until”—she looked away—“until we broke up. Things that happened made me think he wasn’t. Only now I don’t know.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m probably not making sense. It’s just things aren’t always what they seem and people get the wrong idea. Still, he seems different now. Bitter. And that concerns me.”

“He’s had a hard time,” Linda said. “He just lost his sister and brother-in-law. He’s become an instant father after being responsible for no one except himself for years. His mother died a couple of years ago, too. Add all that up and it isn’t so surprising that he’s having trouble coping.”

Amanda nodded. “I understand, and maybe that’s all it is. Or maybe what I thought was Christianity back when we were engaged was only him trying to please me.”

Linda caught and held Amanda’s gaze. “In that case, be careful. You aren’t immune to him any more than he is to you. I’ve seen you both. The way you look at each other. I’m sure your mom would tell you the same thing.”