Authors: Mildred Colvin
“What about now, Mandy?” He stepped into the room and took the vacuum cleaner handle from her. “It’s a matter of trust, isn’t it? Who do you trust is telling the truth, Susan or me?”
Emotion clogged her throat, but she spoke around it. “I’ve never known you to lie, Chad.”
He started to say more when his cell phone rang. Amanda took the vacuum cleaner and pushed it from the room while he talked. She stored the cleaner in the utility room and walked through the house admiring her week’s work of cleaning. The house looked and smelled good. Kara could come home at any time. Chad needed to talk to the social worker and get the ball rolling.
“That was the lumberyard in Litchfield.” Chad spoke from behind her. “They’re bringing a load out for the barn. I’ll talk to Pastor Mattson Sunday morning and see when they can come for the barn raising.”
Amanda turned and saw his wide grin. He looked the happiest she’d seen him since the tornado. She couldn’t help smiling, too. “Sounds like fun. I hope Kara is home by then. I was just thinking you should call and get an inspection of the house. Tell them you’re ready to bring her home.”
His grin disappeared, but he nodded. “I’ll do that. Today.”
“Good. Now why don’t you show me what you want packed away, and I’ll get started on that Monday?”
A sigh tore from him as he looked around the room. “I guess it all has to go by the end of summer. We need to start with the closets. I don’t want to drag stuff out now until after the social worker is satisfied. I’d better call her now.”
While he talked on the phone, Amanda went into the kitchen and opened a cabinet door. Jessica had plenty of dishes. Probably a lot more than Chad and Kara needed. Maybe she could start here. Would Chad want to keep everything, sell it, or give it away? She’d have to ask.
“Well, it’s set.” Chad walked up behind her and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. “She’ll be here Thursday afternoon.”
“Kara?” Amanda’s heart lost a beat.
“No, social services.” A frown pulled the corners of his mouth down. “Kara stays until they decide, but I’ve got to go see her Sunday afternoon. Do some more bonding.”
If he’d been heading for the gallows, he couldn’t have looked more frightened. “Still need the company?”
Her offer visibly wiped the stress away as if a cloth had moved over his face leaving a smile in its place. “Would you, please?”
Amanda smiled and nodded. What else could she do? Her heart, her very life, had been captured by this man long ago and more recently by his sweet niece. If Jeff and Charity had lived, everything would be different. But she was alone now, and her love for Chad had never truly died. That truth hit her with bittersweet knowledge because love wasn’t enough. She could scarcely wait until the day Kara came home to stay. Yet she wanted to prolong the time before then because, after Chad and Kara truly bonded, she would no longer be needed.
She shoved away from the counter and walked away. “I’ll go home then and see you Sunday.”
“How about tomorrow? We could go car shopping.”
Amanda swung back to search his face. “For me?”
He chuckled. “Yes, for you. I don’t need a car.”
“That would be great.” She laughed with him. “Thank you, Chad.”
S
aturday morning Amanda directed Chad to Bob Larson Motors, a used car dealer in Litchfield where her dad had bought his truck and her mom’s car. “This is where I saw what I want.”
Their shoes crunched through the graveled lot to a dark blue compact car. Chad opened the driver’s door and gave a quick look inside, pulled a lever that popped the hood, and then stepped around to lift it. Amanda watched him touch a wire where it attached to the motor then move on to something else that she couldn’t identify. He bent over the fender, and she wondered if he’d crawl inside to see better if he could. The thought made her giggle.
He turned his head to look at her and grinned. “Are you laughing at me or the car?”
“Both.” She couldn’t stop her smile any more than she could turn away from his.
“Mornin’, folks.” Bob Larson stopped in front of the car. “Hi, Amanda. I didn’t realize that was you. How’re you doin’?”
“Fine. Bob, this is Chad Randall. He knows more about cars than I do and offered to help me find one.” As Chad straightened, Amanda said, “Chad, Bob goes to the same church as my folks. We always look here first for cars.”
The men shook hands and Chad said, “Amanda’s already picked this one out for looks. What can you tell me about it?”
Amanda listened to the car’s history, but let Chad ask the questions. They walked around the car checking for dents and scratches, inspected the tires, and looked in the trunk. She wanted to sit behind the wheel and see how it drove, so she was glad when Bob made the suggestion. “Let me go get the keys and you can take it for a spin.”
“That would be great.”
Amanda drove to her parents’ house and stopped in the driveway. Chad gave her a questioning look. “Are you hoping for a second opinion?”
She released her seat belt. “Wouldn’t do any good. No one’s home.”
Before he could respond, she hopped out, ran around the car, and opened his door. “Don’t you want to drive?”
He grinned and swiped his hand across his brow. “Whew, I thought for a minute you were going to throw me to the lions.”
“Mom and Dad?” She laughed. “Maybe Daddy, but Mom always thought I made a mistake.”
As soon as the words popped out of her mouth, she wished she could recall them. He stepped from the car and towered over her. She stepped back. He stepped forward and caught her hands. “Mandy, what do you think?”
She gave him an innocent look. “I like the way it drives, but I’d like to know what you think, too.”
“What I think?”
She breathed easier and nodded.
He looked deep into her eyes. “I think we both made some stupid mistakes, but God has given us a second chance. I think it would be another stupid mistake to ignore what’s going on between us right now.”
“Chad.” She put as much warning in her voice as she could. He couldn’t mean what he’d said. He only wanted her to help him with Kara. Too many years had passed to heal all the hurts they’d caused each other. All the damage Susan had done to their relationship. “Let’s just look at the car. Please? We’re friends now. I don’t want to ruin that.”
He gave a short, bitter laugh but released her hands. “Yeah, Amanda, we’re friends.”
He left her to get in the car and went around to the driver’s side. They didn’t speak again until Chad pulled into the lot and parked. Then he turned toward her. “If you want this car, I think it’s fine.” He shrugged. “The price is right, the tires look almost new, and I can’t find any problems.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Chad. I really appreciate this. Mom will be glad to have her car back.”
Amanda wrote a check for the full amount of the car and drove it home. Chad followed her to the house, and she thought he might come in, but he only stopped at the curb long enough to remind her he’d see her the next day. As he drove away, loss for what she’d once almost had pressed against her heart.
Chad wanted more than friendship. Why did that scare her? Why couldn’t she forget the hurt Susan had caused? Chad said he was innocent and she believed him. She loved Jeffrey, but he’d been gone for years. She couldn’t cling to his memory forever. She felt ready to move on, to find someone who would love her in spite of her inability to bear children. Just not Chad. She couldn’t do that to him. She loved him too much.
She let herself into the house as the full implication of her reluctance hit her full force. She loved Chad. Whether her love had never died or she’d fallen in love all over again, she didn’t know. But the love that burned in her heart at that moment was real and the realization tore through her.
She shoved the door closed with enough force to rattle the window. Why had this happened? She’d ignored him for years, refusing to listen to anything pertaining to him or Susan. She hurt so much from the love she’d lost. Now they’d been thrown together to be hurt again. Her heart ached.
She ran upstairs to her room where she’d always sought solace from life’s problems. There she sat on her bed and picked up her Bible.
Lord, please give me direction. Show me what to do about Chad. Does he know You? He says You’re giving us a second chance. Is that what this is all about? You know I can’t have children
. Tears filled her eyes.
If Chad is innocent like he says, he deserves better. He thought he’d married Susan because there was a child. Surely he wants children and I can’t. I just can’t
.
Tears fell from her weeping heart and she clutched her Bible close.
Chad sat beside Amanda at church Sunday morning and wondered if God had truly brought them back together. He’d never stopped loving her. Even when he thought he was married, he couldn’t let go of his memories. He heard little of the sermon and was glad when church ended so they could slip outside to his truck.
“Are you coming to Mom and Dad’s for dinner?” Amanda’s green eyes sparkled and he figured she knew he’d turn the invitation down.
“How about I buy you a quick lunch instead so we can spend more time with Kara?” He watched one expression after another chase through her eyes. They came alive with an eager light that quickly dimmed.
If he could read her mind, would he find that she missed her little girl and maybe her husband, too? The idea brought a surge of jealousy followed by shame. How could he be jealous of a man who’d been dead for years? So he’d married Mandy. That shouldn’t matter. Even if she’d loved him. Only it did matter. If not to him, to her. Was that why she held back? Because she still loved her husband?
The expression in her eyes softened and she smiled. “Sure, Chad, I’ll let you off the hook this time, but sooner or later, you’ll have to have dinner with us. Brad will be back from vacation tomorrow, and he won’t let you get away with all these excuses, so you may as well plan on next week.”
Chad laughed. “Okay, I’ll plan on it. Maybe I’ll have Kara then. Actually, did I tell you Kara will be eating with us today?”
The smile in her eyes lit her entire face and Chad’s heart. “No. Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”
“Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise.” He grinned at her as he closed her door and ran around to the driver’s side.
On the way to Lakeland, they talked about nothing important, but Chad could have listened to Amanda’s voice forever. She belonged in his truck and in his life. She always had. If he had his way, she always would.
Kara reached for Amanda as soon as she saw her. She patted Amanda’s cheek and tilted her head while she babbled a string of unintelligible words that obviously had meaning to her. Amanda laughed and hugged her close. “Oh sweetheart, has it only been one week? It seems like forever since I saw you last.”
Kara laid her head on Amanda’s shoulder and looked so at home Chad felt a lump form in his throat. Still, his smile came easily as they headed to his truck. He held the door while Amanda buckled Kara in the car seat then sat in front.
“All set?”
She nodded so he closed the door. When he slid behind the steering wheel, he asked, “How would you like a picnic? We can get chicken with mashed potatoes at the deli. Do you think she can eat chicken?”
“If we tear it into small pieces.”
He nodded. “Good. We’ll go to the park.”
“Let’s do it.” Amanda’s smile showed her approval.
By the time he pulled to a stop near the city park, Chad looked forward to this outing. Amanda took charge of Kara and that suited him fine. Kara seemed happy. He wondered at the way Kara and Amanda had bonded, almost as if each supplied a need in the other’s life. And they probably did. Amanda needed this time with Kara to ease the hurt from her own baby as much as Kara needed the mothering she found in Amanda. At least that made sense to him. If only the connection could be permanent.
“I brought a quilt from the house. I’ll get it for you and Kara and then bring everything else while you keep her corralled.” Chad soon had a quilt spread over the grass near the playground and brought the bags of food.