Ruin (8 page)

Chapter Seventeen

And the Mr. Insensitive award goes to…
Weston Michels. I. Am. An. Ass.

Weston

What was I supposed to say to that? What could I say?

“It was an accident. You can rarely prepare for death, you know?” She shook her head.

Sadly, she wasn’t right in that regard. You
could
prepare and I knew from firsthand experience that it didn’t make it any easier, but I wasn’t about to tell her that. It wasn’t the time.

“You were close to your parents?”

“As close as you can be in high school.”

“What happened?”

I assumed it was a car crash or something sudden that took them.

“They drowned.”

“What?” I sat down next to her on the concrete. “How?”

“Cave diving.” She sighed. “They were risk takers, unlike me. I was afraid of my own shadow until last year.”

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her.

“They were in Florida for another one of their diving trips. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know they were careful. I never thought about the risks because they were always so safe.” Her voice got really quiet. “I got in a huge fight with both of them over the phone. I wanted to go to a party and they said no. I told them I hated them and didn’t want to ever see them again.”

Shit.

“They died three hours later. Their bodies were recovered miles inside the cave they were exploring. The safety ropes were tattered as if they’d been ripped in half. The police thought that maybe the surf came in sooner than my parents expected, causing the rope to rub against the sharp rocks.”

Kiersten wiped at a few stray tears. “I can’t imagine. It kills me to know that their last moments were spent lost in a dark watery hole. It’s not as if you can go to the surface. It just seems so miserable, and I was powerless to do anything to stop them.”

Risking getting myself slapped or worse, I licked my lips and said, “Kiersten, I think you’re looking at it the wrong way.” I could feel her muscles tense beneath my touch. It was as if I’d just told her I was going to hunt her and I wanted her to run, every single part of her body pulled away, getting ready to bolt.

“Hear me out,” I whispered. “They loved cave diving, right?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was small and weak but at least she was still sitting by me, not slapping or running.

“And they knew the risks involved in it?”

“Of course!”

“Close your eyes.”

“What? No.” She tried to pull away from me, but I held her firm.

“Kiersten, just close your eyes.”

She shivered and huffed, then closed her eyes.

“Listen to my voice,” I whispered against her ear. “Imagine the story differently. Your parents get off the phone with you, both irritated but not really upset. I mean, you were, what? Fifteen? All fifteen-year-old girls go through those stages.”

“How would you know?”

“I’m a fifteen-year-old girl trapped inside this body.” I chuckled against her ear. “And I know because I used to mentor at the youth center. Believe me, fifteen-year-old girls are terrifying.”

Her shoulders relaxed.

“So they get off the phone with you, shake their heads, have a good sigh, and hold hands as they walk across the beach. They put on their gear, check and double check their air and the ropes and then go into the cave. Something happens. maybe it was just the perfect storm of the elements. The cave was so beautiful that they went farther and farther in, not realizing they didn’t have enough air to get back. Or maybe they didn’t realize the ropes were no longer attached to the way out.”

Her breathing was erratic as I continued my story and rubbed her back. “Maybe they looked at their air, knew they didn’t know which way to go so just went one direction. Maybe, they grabbed hands and swam into the darkness knowing full well that in a few minutes they’d probably fall asleep. But at least they’d fall asleep holding hands. At least, the last thought in their heads would be of you, of their family, and at least they were with each other. I guess I don’t look at their death the same way you do. You think of their death as torture. And I think of it as peace. Maybe that makes me crazy, but I can’t imagine your parents, seasoned divers that they were, panicking and suffering.” I shrugged. “I see them holding hands into the darkness, and I see them smiling.”

Kiersten was silent for a while.

I pulled back to look into her eyes, but she was covering her face with her hands, and when she pulled back her fingers, they were wet with tears.

I didn’t have time to prepare myself for her hug. She knocked me onto the concrete so fast all I could do was open my arms to her and hang on tight.

It was the first real hug I’d received since my brother had died. I didn’t tell her that, but in that moment, hugging her, comforting her… Death didn’t look as bad anymore. The future didn’t look as bleak. Because when she pulled back… when her eyes met mine, I saw hope.

Chapter Eighteen

So I hug complete strangers and cry in their arms? Tell me something I don’t know!

Kiersten

He probably thought I was insane, but I couldn’t pull back. Logically, my brain told me it was insane to feel so close to a guy I’d barely met. But emotionally? He’d picked up every little piece of emotional baggage I’d brought with me to college, unzipped it, and cleaned house.

Part of me was furious. But the other part of me? The one still holding onto Wes like he was my lifeline — just felt free. He did, in five minutes, what two years of therapy and endless amounts of antidepressants had failed to do. He’d helped me forgive. I knew it wasn’t that easy, it couldn’t be. Was it really just about thinking about the story differently? The odd thing was, everything he said about my parents was spot on. It was true. He made me believe the story because I knew for a fact that was how they were.

“Kiersten?” Wes murmured against my wet cheek. His breath created a cooling sensation, causing me to shiver from my head to my toes, “You okay?”

I let out a heavy sigh. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

Wes laughed. “We’re all a bit crazy, it’s what makes us human.”

I pushed against his chest.

“Wes?” a male voice said from behind me. I turned to see the guy that had been in the cafeteria that one day.

“David.” Wes stood and helped me to my feet. “Everything alright?”

“Course.” David cleared his throat and then dialed someone on his phone. “He’s fine, sir. Yes, he was just out… running with a girl.” David’s smile fell. “Of course, sure I’ll remind him, yes. Thank you, sir… Sorry sir.”

Wes released my hand and crossed his arms. “So, the general’s orders?”

David shoved his phone in his pocket. “He just said to keep your priorities straight. Your health, football, school. And then friends.”

Ouch! That made me last.

“Right.” Wes nodded. “Thanks David. I’ll text you if I need you.”

David stood his ground.

Something close to a low growl emerged from Wes’s throat. “What? You’re going to follow me now?”

“Orders.” David sighed and shrugged. “I’m sorry, Wes. My job’s at stake. You know how it is.”

“I do.” Wes muttered a vulgar curse under his breath and turned to me. “I’m sorry, Kiersten. I need to go. My father, it seems, is concerned about my priorities.” His smile was tense. “Can I see you tonight? Seems like we have some things we still gotta take care of.”

“I don’t know.” I looked at David’s disapproving glare and back at the ground. “I, uh, I think I’m busy.”

Wes frowned in frustration.

“Come on, Wes.” David reached for his arm.

“No.” Wes didn’t move. “Not until she says yes.”

“Wes, just stop. Parents are important. If your father wants—”

“What he wants is two healthy sons,” Wes said in an icy voice. “What he
has
is me. He’ll take what he can get. I’ll be at your dorm tonight at seven.”

“Not tonight,” I said. “But tomorrow’s Friday. Date night, okay?”

“Okay.” He swallowed, the color returning to his cheeks as his jaw seemed to relax. Why did he suddenly look so weak? “I’ll see you then.”

I watched Wes walk away, and I grew more curious by the second. Why did the quarterback of the football team look so pale all the time? And why, when he stepped into the shadows of the trees, did he lean on that David guy as if he was going to pass out? And if he was feeling sick, why the heck did he want to go running?

Thoughts plagued my mind as I made my way all the way back to the dorms. The last thing I wanted was to get close to a guy that made me feel as good as Wes did, only to have him ripped from my life because I wasn’t high on his daddy’s priority list.

Ugh.

I unlocked the door to our dorm and waltzed in.

“‘Sup.” Gabe waved and flipped through a few TV channels. “You can thank me later, you know.”

“Thank you?”

“For the protein shake and banana waiting for consumption on the counter. I may have been bird watching and seen you walking down the path to the dorms.”

“Bird watching?” I rolled my eyes. “And what birds were you watching, nature man?”

“The gray ones,” Gabe answered, straight faced.

“Pigeons?”

“Pigeons aren’t gray.”

“Are you colorblind?” I laughed and shook my head. “Okay, fine. So you were watching pigeons because why?”

Gabe threw the remote against the cushions on the couch and stood, raising his arms high above his head revealing more tattoos on his hips trailing up his stomach. “I was worried.”

“About the bird population?”

“You.” Gabe growled. “I know you like him, I just…” He bit down on his lower lip. “Something about him worries me, and you are only a freshman.”

“Thanks for the warning. Next time a girl jumps into your bed, I’ll be sure to give her a heads up. You know, as a thank you for all your protectiveness.”

Gabe shrugged and walked into the kitchen. “Pretty sure they all have to sign a release form anyways.”

“Disgusting.”

He laughed.

“So where’s my shake?”

“Here.” He turned around and did a booty shake then dropped it like it was hot in the kitchen.

I fell into fits of laughter before he turned back around and held up his finger while he fished out his phone, put on some music, and grabbed my hands.

Rocketship
by Shane Harper came on. We danced in circles and then bumped hips.

Gabe released me and danced, really well, over to the cups above the sink and pulled one down, then continued dancing while he mixed banana with the protein shake.

He dipped his finger in it and licked then did the same for me, holding out his finger for me to lick.

I shook my head no.

He leaned in and whispered, “Just one taste.”

“Said the senior to the freshman.”

“Once won’t kill you.”

“You’re the guy drug officers warn teens about, aren’t you? The one that says just one time won’t get you addicted?”

Gabe smirked. “Why, Kiersten, are you afraid you’re going to get addicted to me?”

“Fine.” I licked the sugary substance off his finger.

“You like him a lot.”

“What?” I stepped back and moved around him to grab my glass, but Gabe’s arms came around my waist twisting me around.

“I know girls.” He shook his head and winced. “Believe me, I know them well, and nothing about me is causing you to falter. Absolutely nothing. I bet even if I kissed you, you’d be thinking about him. Shit, Kiersten, it’s been four days! You’re going to get your little heart broken if you fall for him, and then I’m going to have to pick up the pieces, and you’ll probably sleep with me to feel better, wake up hating yourself and jump into a downward spiral of using men to fill the void
he
left in your life.”

“Whoa.”

“My point,” he said, grabbing my wrists, “is that this can all be avoided. Just don’t give him your everything — not until you know the return will be the same.”

I shook away from his hold and took a long sip of my shake. “Why are you saying all this? You hardly know me.”

Gabe snorted. “My point exactly. I don’t know you. He doesn’t know you. The only person that’s going to fight for you right now, is you. Don’t let yourself lose sight of your biggest ally. Don’t allow yourself to be blinded by pretty smiles and hot bodies — not even mine.”

My eyebrows arched at his confidence.

“Don’t get me wrong.” Gabe held up his hands. “You’re sexy as hell, but I would never shit where I like to stay.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a compliment.” Gabe snickered. “You don’t sleep with cousins’ best friends, or roommates, or girls who don’t know themselves yet. It’s not fair. And in the end, it’s just inviting heartbreak.”

“You seem like you speak from experience.” I tilted my head to get a better look at his piercing eyes.

Gabe swore and looked away. “I do. And that’s all you need to know. She ruined me, Kiersten. And damn, if I wouldn’t give my entire world to be ruined over and over again, if it meant I could be a part of her universe.”

I pushed him toward the main room and sat on the couch. “What happened?”

“Apparently I’m the guy you date to piss your parents off. I’m the guy you date before a better offer, one involving multi-million dollar business deals, comes bustling through.”

I reached for his hand. “Gabe, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it was years ago,” he said with a shrug. “I’m an old soul and all that.” Then he yawned again and slapped his leg, stood, and walked toward the door. “Remember our little chat.” Glancing over his shoulder, he wrinkled his nose. “And take a shower, you smell like hell.”

“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes.

He paused at the door. “I could join you if you get lonely and need someone to wash your back.”

I pointed to the door. “Bye, Gabe.”

Laughing, he left.

Part of me hated that he was right. I could see myself doing exactly that, holding onto Wes as if he was my survival and then dying if in the end it didn’t turn out the way I needed it to.

I couldn’t lose myself in him. I refused to.

I chugged the rest of my protein shake and made my way into the bathroom.