Ruining Me (2 page)

Next
I head straight to my
second period
class which
i
s
Biology
. 
As soon as I walk in
I look up and see that Rhye Clark
is sitting in the back.  Rhye is your average high school bad boy
with his d
ark shaggy hair and intense dark
chocolate
eyes with a lanky long frame. 
H
e has his
e
yebrow
and l
ip pierc
ed plus s
uper cool tat
too
s
on
both arms
that
complete his rock star image
.  He is wearing
his band logo
“The Mavs”
on his black t-shirt and faded
black
jeans.  I’m pretty sure that
his glazed look has something more to do with what
he smoked
t
his morning and
not
that his band probably played somewhere downtown
until late
last night. 

H
is eyes
brighten
as he notices me and
t
he
n
gives me that sexy
grin. 
Trying to get my attention he
nods his head to the seat next to him.  I pointedly
roll my eyes and grab a seat on the other side of the room. 
There was a time that I thought taking control of my life meant controlling who I slept with. 
My first conquest was Rhye.  He had flirted with me for years and the moment that
JT
and I were over he quickly moved in.  Rhye and his lifestyle quickly became like a drug
and
he l
oved
corrupting me
almost a little too much
. 

I can feel
h
is
eyes
are on me the entire class. 
In t
he
couple of
months
I spent
as his
“
friend with benefits
”
,
I did l
earn the
advantage
of dating the bad boy. 
Unfortunately, t
hat also included learning that even high
school lead singers have groupies.  I can be easy, but I don’t share
and
Rhye learned this lesson t
o
o late. 
When the bell finally rang I gathered my books and stuffed them in my bag.

“How was your summer Jay?”

His voice was low and sexy
.  D
amn those
dark
eyes.  I stood up and looked at him.

“Great.  Thanks for asking
.”

I walk
ed
out of the class room an
d
could hear him following
right behind me
.

“Did you not get the
little
messages I sent to you?”

I stop
suddenly and whirl
around to face him.  Does he have to be so freaking good looking? 
Stepping
toward
s
him
to
look
into his eyes
, I
place my
pointed
finger
directly
into his chest.

“Yes I did
. 
I need you to b
e less stalkerish Rhye and more
grow
the fuck
up and move on Rhye.  You cheated on me.  Remember?”

He actually winces and pain f
il
ls those dark eyes
,
making me think
he does regret what happened.
 
“
Damn
Jay, it’s been almost a year.  I
messed
up
.  Just
let that shit die.  I just want you to come out and watch us play.
”

Rolling my eyes I
turn
to walk away.  I feel his hand circle my wrist an
d he gently tugs me back around pulling me
closer towards him.

“I wouldn’t mind if you want to stay the night afterwards either.  I’m sure we could think of something to do.”

“Dream on
r
ock
star.  My groupie days are over.” 

This time
when I turn to walk away he let
s me go
.  I hear him chuckle
and I groan. 
He is just too sexy for my own good.  It’s getting harder and harder to turn him away and I think that’s his plan
because he
is
slowly
w
ear
ing
me down. 
 

Third period was a study period
so
I passed that hour in the library
hiding out
.
  When the bell finally rang for lunch I was surprised that so much of the day had passed.  Since it was a sunny day I decided to sit outside.  Most
everyone respects that I want to keep to myself.  Only
a
few dare try and have a conversation with me.  Us
u
ally one word answers det
er
s them.  I hear the whispers of
“
stuck
-
up
”
and
“
what a bitch
”
. 
Listening to them,
I should be use
d
to it by now, but it still stings.  I catch myself smiling when someone smiles at me.  It's hard to go from the school sweetheart
,
to well
,
whatever I am now. 

Looking up from
reading my book
I n
otice
JT
staring at me.
His eyes are the perfect shade of a deep midnight blue. 
Sighing, I
remember a time when I could look into those eyes for hours and see my future for miles and miles.  Now I’m not so sure what I would see. 

Once
JT
had the perfect
girlfriend and
in a moment she was gone. 
He tried for
weeks
to talk with me
and even c
amped outside my
bedroom
window
, literally popping
his old
b
oy
s
cout tent outside
. 
I thought
my Dad was going to kill him.
I f
inally
t
old him there was someone else and that was it.  If I
had
known it was that easy, I would have lied earlier.  Well, really it wasn't a lie.

Glancing
back
down
at my book
I see
a pair of
black N
ikes
step n
ext to me.  I look up and have to
shield my eyes from the sun to see
JT
glaring down.  It’s hard to look into those ey
es that I used to dream about so
I look away because I just can’t bare
it
.  He
must have stepped in front of the sun’s rays because I can’t feel them on my face anymore. 

"What can I do for you
JT
?
”

M
y voice sounds breathy
and my eyes shift back to him
.  He still does this to me.
My body begins to slightly shake because he makes me nervous and at the same time
I can’t help
but
to still want him. 
In that
second I remember every
moment
.
 
We shared
our
first kiss in seventh grade
and t
he innocence of that kiss was what made it so memorable. 

"How was your summer, Jay
?
”
 
His voice sounds so angry.  I
t startles me for a second
, but he continues
to talk to me
.
 
"Kip says he s
aw
you downtown at
O’Malley’s
a couple of times.  Guess you were giving that fake
ID
a workout
, huh?
"
 

Kip is JT's older brother who
is
in college. 
I still talk to Kip when I see him.  We don’t
ever discuss JT.
 
He
slowly lowers his body d
own to look me in the eye
.
 
"
Are you too
good to hang out with us kiddies?" 
I don’t think he realizes that his words are weapons and each one cuts me deep enough to bleed.

"Wow
,
JT
, I
didn't know you missed me that much.  I figured you were too busy screwing Staci
e
all summer
,
" I
say
sarcastically.  I couldn't help myself
because I am bleeding from the inside out
.
 
The people I do hang out with like to
gossip
and
through the grapevine
I
heard this from a friend of Kip’s t
his
past
summer, but as soon as I say it I wish I didn't.  It shows that I care. 
JT
's cheek
s
redden and he leans in closer
.

"Anytime you want that to be you, just let me know."  He then stands
up
and walks away.  There was a time that I prayed for that to happen
, f
or me to be that girl, but that time is past. 

Before I know it schools over and I am walking out to my car
thinking about m
y last
couple of
classes
. 
I ended up
in
another class
with
Cal
and
fortunately for me he
just
shook his head
and left me alone.
Fifth period was my
Art
class
and
both Reed and Molly
were in it
.  My Art
teacher
,
Miss Kell
,
talked about
our
goal
s
for this year so nobody had a chance to talk
much
in her class.  Last period was gym and of course I would end up having it with
JT
  He didn't
say anything else to
me.

With my thoughts on everything that
happened
today I almost missed the
piece of paper
caught underneath
my
yellow Ford Mustang’s
windshield, knowing
what it
was
before I
even
read it. 
Damn,
I was hoping this year he would quit sending the
m
. 
I
yank
it off
and start to wad up the paper
in my hand
. 
 
Last year
I igno
red his little notes
, there
were only a couple.
 
Praying this year he
would give me a f
reak
ing break,
I
realize
now
that's not going to happen. 
My mind
know
s
I should just throw it away, but I open it anyway.