Run Johnboy Run: The Glasgow Chronicles 2 (26 page)

Chapter Thirty Six

  Johnboy could tell that everywan wis awake.  It aw started aff quite gently, bit before long, there wis a full blown competition oan the go, wae nae prisoners being taken by either side.  He thought he’d goat used tae the smell, bit then Tony let another wan rip, and that wan took the biscuit.  It sounded like an elephant blowing through wan ae they trombones that the Sally Army guy hid been using up in Grafton square.  Tae the relief ae everywan, Silent caved in first and pushed open the wardrobe door, bolting upright in wan swift motion.

  “Fur fuck’s sake, Tony, Ah kin taste that!”  Paul gasped.

  Tony reached up and grabbed Silent by the collar and pulled him back intae the wardrobe, as he let oot another clap ae thunder.  The door wae the mirror oan the ootside fell back intae place wae a crash, plunging them aw back intae pitch darkness.  Johnboy thought he wis gonnae throw up while gagging wae laughter.

  “Cop that, ya smelly basturts, ye,” Tony yahooed, as the sound ae some basturt ripping a two inch thick wooden plank lengthways shot oot ae his arse, tae mair howls ae laughter and spluttering.

  “Aw naw, get me an ambulance…Ah think Ah’m gonnae be sick,” Johnboy screamed.

  “That’s fuck aw, how aboot this wan?” Paul shouted, followed by five seconds ae silence.

  “Never mind, take that, ya fud pads, ye,” Johnboy howled, letting oot whit sounded like the death rattle ae a chipmunk. 

  “Naw, wait, it’s coming, honest,” Paul wheezed and squeezed in the darkness, before letting oot a perfect rendition ae General Custer’s Last Stand at the Battle Ae The Little Bighorn.

  “And the winner is?” Tony shouted, letting fly wae aw guns blazing, jist before the mass breakout occurred fae the wardrobe.

  “Fuck’s sake, Tony, that sounded like a tenement building coming doon oan tap ae us, ya smelly basturt.”

  “Aye, we’ve goat tae sleep in here, ye know.”

  “Well, Ah widnae shut that door o’er fur a wee while yet, boys.  That wan wis thicker than ma maw’s Bisto,” Tony bragged, walking across tae peep oot the windae, while the others creased up wae gagging laughter.

  “That’s they crisps.  They always gie me wind,” Paul claimed, ankle deep in empty Smith’s crisp packets.

  “Ah’m starving,” Johnboy said, dipping a wet finger intae wan ae the wee blue salt bags that came oot ae the crisp packets that wur scattered aboot the flair, before licking his finger.

  “Right, come wae me, Silent,” Paul ordered, heiding towards the lobby and the hole in the ceiling.

  “Don’t furget tae get something tae drink while ye’re at it,” Johnboy shouted at their backs.

  Ten minutes later, Joe, who’d heided hame the previous night, appeared oan the scene wae Paul and Silent.

  “Fuck’s sake.  His somewan shat themsels?” he asked, sniffing the air and waving his haun back and forth.

  “Aye, it wis yer sister.  She couldnae help hersel when she saw whit Ah hid in ma haun as Ah wis coming towards her,” Paul retorted.

  “Aye, Ah’ve telt ye before aboot wiping yer arse wae yer bare fingers,” Joe shot back.

  “Right, tuck in.”

  They’d arrived back wae a crate ae wee hauf bottles ae orange…the wans that hid the green foil tap oan them, that nobody could afford…and a couple ae dozen rolls that they’d blagged fae ootside the Parklee Dairy oan the corner ae Taylor Street.  Nowan said a word above the sounds ae chewing, the slurping ae the orange and the clatter ae the bottles skiting across the flair intae the bed alcove wance they wur empty.

  “Ah still cannae bloody believe it wis they bizzies that torched the cabin,” Paul said bitterly.

  Silence.

  “Ah mean, Ah wid’ve bet ma life oan it that it wis they Murphy wans.”

  Silence.

  “Ah still cannae believe it, masel,” Johnboy finally chipped in, shaking his heid before taking a slurp oot ae his bottle.

  Silence.

  “This is fucking war, so it is.”

  Silence.

  “Dae ye think we should talk tae The Big Man, Tony?”

  “Whit fur?”

  “Because it ties in wae whit wis said tae us by they Murphys in the close, up in Martyr Street,” Joe said.

  “So?”

  “Whit dae ye mean, so?”

  “Why wid we tell him?  Even if it wisnae the polis, he’d still say it wis anyway. The less contact we hiv we him, the better.”

  “And he’d be right”

  “Ah’m still no too sure,” Johnboy said.

  “Aboot whit?” Paul asked, looking aboot tae see if it wis only him that thought Johnboy hid gone saft in the heid.

  “Ah’ve been thinking aboot whit we heard last night.”

  “Whit we heard wis that skelly-eyed prick Crisscross and that sergeant wan admitting they toasted Skull.”

  Everywan’s eyes turned away fae Paul tae Johnboy.

  “Whit we heard wis Skelly-eyes saying that some wans, high up in the polis, thought they might’ve hid something tae dae wae the fire.”

  Aw eyes swung back tae Paul.

  “Johnboy, that isnae whit wis said though, wis it?” Paul retorted, taking a bite oot ae a roll.

  He looked o’er at the others, who wur sitting no saying a word.

  “Well, ma money is still oan they Murphy wans,” Johnboy said, looking at them aw.

  “Ye don’t know anything Johnboy, that’s your trouble,” Paul snarled, though no able tae hide the doubt that hid crept intae his voice.

  “So, whit wid ye dae if it wis them then, Paul?” Johnboy asked.

  “Ah’d burn that fucking Crisscross and his fat Christian wife in their bed when they wur sleeping.  That’s whit Skull wid want us tae dae.”

   “So, whit’s the hurry, Paul?  We’ll find oot sooner or later who wis behind it.  We jist need tae be patient.”

  “It’s awright fur you tae say that, Tony.  We’re aw sitting here, bit where the fuck’s Skull?”

  Tony’s eyes narrowed.  Johnboy thought Tony’s face went a bit white, although it wis hard tae tell as he wis sitting oan a box ae Cutty Sark facing Paul, who hid his back tae the windae, where the sun wis starting tae stream in.  Tony wis looking across at Paul, who wis defiantly staring back at him.  Nobody dared breathe.

  “The day we found oot aboot Skull, jist efter we came back up fae the toon centre, when we wur sitting in the close beside Sherbet’s.  Whit did we say, Johnboy?”

  “Ye said that we wur gonnae burn the basturts that did that tae Skull, so ye did.”

  “And when wur we gonnae dae that?”

  “Ye said when we wur aulder.”

  “So, nothing’s fucking changed then, his it?  Whether it’s the polis or they Murphy pricks, wan day we’ll get them fur whit they did tae Skull, unless ye’ve goat a better idea, Paul?”

  Paul wis the first tae turn away.  He looked aroond at the others, then back at Tony.

  “Aye, Ah suppose ye’re right,” he muttered, slinging his empty bottle intae the recess before bending o’er and picking up another wan.

  “Paul, don’t ye worry aboot a thing.  Ah’m jist as mad as you ur aboot Skull, bit setting Crisscross’s hoose oan fire jist noo widnae help us or Skull.  We’ll find oot fur certain who the basturts ur, and when we dae, they’ll get the same back, and unlike them, we wullnae get found oot either.”

  “Well, as long as everywan here jist keeps it in mind.  Wan day, we’re gonnae make a comeback, and that’s a promise, so it is,” Paul snarled at everywan in the room, before heiding through tae the sink fur a pish.

  “So, when ur we gonnae get rid ae aw this pish then?” Joe asked, nodding tae aw the boxes ae booze that they’d blagged oot ae the Murphys’ van and The Gay Gordon.

  “Fuck, there must be aboot a dozen boxes here, including that box ae Senior Service fags that says five thousand oan the side ae the box.”

  “How aboot selling the Murphys’ wans tae Toby in The Gay Gordon and Toby’s wans tae The Big Man?” Tony suggested.

  “Is that no too obvious, given they’re jist roond the corner fae each other?  Ah don’t want tae die jist yet,” Johnboy said shuddering, thinking aboot whit hid happened tae Skull.

  “Naw, they bloody hate each other mair than the bizzies hate us, so they dae,” laughed Paul as he arrived back.  

Chapter Thirty Seven

  “Ah’ll tell ye, Helen, Ah’m no intae this wan bit.  Ye’ll need tae help me.”

  “Furget aboot it, Gina.  The rest ae them will furget aw aboot it wance they’re back in their cells.”

  “Oh, Ah don’t know aboot that.  They aw seemed really excited tae gie it a go.  Big Pat telt me tae hiv a go wae a verse oan ma ain, if ye didnae want tae play.”

  “Gina, there’s no way Ah’m gonnae make up the words ae a song aboot masel.”

  “Why no?  It’s jist fur a laugh and we aw think whit ye’re daeing in fantastic, so we dae.”

  “So, whit happens noo?” Helen asked, changing the subject and climbing up oan tae the tap bunk, while Gina wandered aboot the eight by twelve cell, hauf humming and hauf singing words tae rhyme wae each other.

  “This is it.  We jist hing aboot until they let us doon fur something tae eat aboot hauf twelve and then we’re back up here till they let us oot in the efternoon fur another recreation break in the yard.”

  “And that’s it?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Christ, this is gonnae drive me up the wall.”

  “Aye, some ae the wummin in here ur hinging aboot fur three months, daeing sweet nothing, before they’re due back up in court.  Ye’re wan ae the lucky wans.  At least ye’ve only goat a week ae this.”

  “Whit aboot yersel, Gina?”

  “Ah wis oan a two-week remand tae start wae, and noo Ah’m oan a further two weeks, fur background reports, before Ah get sentenced.”

  “Whit ur ye in fur?”

  “Ah stabbed ma man…it wis jist a scratch though.”

  “Ye stabbed him?  Sorry, hen, bit ye don’t strike me as being the stabbing kind.”

  “Aye, well, it wis an accident, bit they didnae believe me.  The only reason Ah’m oan background reports is because Ah wis advised tae plead guilty, tae stoap me getting indicted and slung oan remand fur up tae three months, before being found guilty and getting a long sentence oan tap ae that.  The lawyer said that if Ah pleaded guilty then Ah’d get dealt wae mair quickly and as Ah’m a first offender, Ah’d probably get a fine or put oan probation.”

  “So, ur ye back up tae court soon?”

  “Next Thursday.”

  “Who’s yer brief?”

  “Ma whit?”

  “Yer lawyer.”

  “Er, a nice wee man called Howdy.”

  “Howdy?  He widnae hiv a partner called Barker by any chance, wid he?”

  “Aye, Ah think so.  The firm ur called Barker & Howdy.  Why?  Dae ye know them?”

  “Aye, a right bloody pair ae sleekit parasites.  They should be in the jail fur impersonating lawyers, so they should.”

  “Oh, he seemed really nice, so he did.”

  “Gina, it wis Howdy and Barker that came in and asked aw ma mates, including me, tae plead guilty before they even goat tae hear oor side ae the story.  Ah telt them tae hop it.”

  “And ye ended up in here?”

  “Aye.”

  “And whit aboot yer mates?”

  “They’re aw at hame.”

  “Ah don’t want tae be cheeky, Helen, bit if aw yer pals took their advice and ur at hame, and ye’re in here because ye didnae, how dis that make them parasites?”

  “Gina, they charlatans ur no interested in you or me.  Aw they’re interested in is making money oot ae the likes ae us.  They’re no gonnae put up any kind ae defence oan oor part.  Tae them, we’re jist a bloody money-making machine.”

  “Despite me getting the extra two weeks fur background reports, which wisnae expected, Mr Howdy says Ah’ll be walking free when Ah go up next Thursday.  Ah cannae wait.  Ah don’t think Ah’d cope wae another night in this place.”

  Helen lay her heid back oan her pillow and thought aboot whit Gina hid said.  Wid she hiv been hame wae Jimmy and the weans if she’d pled guilty?  She wisnae convinced, although she wis starting tae hiv her doubts.  And then there wis the lassies who wur slagging aff Sally
fur waiting fur her fancy-man boss tae get her a decent brief, insteid ae her accepting wan fae the court.  Helen knew fine well that she wis in trouble…big trouble.  Here she wis, stuck oot here in Greenock, wae naewhere tae go, jist waiting tae be shafted by that Liam Thompson and JP.  She felt helpless and couldnae work oot whit tae dae aboot it.  She felt the panic starting tae rise up in her throat.

  “Why did ye stab that man ae yours, Gina?” she asked, backing aff fae her ain situation.

  “No long efter we goat married, aboot three months, he started tae slap me aboot every time he goat a drink in.  It wis usually jist oan a Friday and Saturday night.  His drinking goat worse and it goat tae the stage where he wis pished mair than he wis sober.  He kept getting laid aff and slung oot ae any firm that wur willing tae take him oan until he couldnae get a job anywhere.  By that time, he’d become a right alky.  Ah always kept ma heid doon and ma face oot ae his reach, and although Ah ended up in The Royal a couple ae times, wae broken ribs and a broken cheek bone, he never really hurt me, apart fae a slap here and there when Ah upset him.”

  “Did yer neighbours no dae anything aboot it?”

  “Some ae the lassies in the street wur worse aff than Ah wis.  There wis a right nice wee lassie called Anne McGeachy, who lived three closes up.  Her man came hame wan night aboot two years ago, pished as a fart, and smashed her skull in wae a poker.  He wis charged wae murder bit goat it reduced tae manslaughter and goat three years in the jail.  Ah noticed he’d jist goat oot before Ah wis slung in here, because Ah saw him in the licensed grocer, buying some cheap wine, a couple ae weeks ago.”

  “Fur Christ’s sake.”

  “Aye, bit ma John’s no like him.  He kin be a right basturt when he’s goat a drink in, bit he widnae go that far.”

  “Ah bet ye that wee lassie McGeachy thought that tae.”

  “Naw, believe me, John’s different fae the likes ae him.  Ah blame masel, so Ah dae.  He’d a chance ae a really good job wan time that wid’ve goat us oot ae the rut we wur in.  He wis oan tae me tae go and have a chat wae the foreman, who wis married tae ma best pal, who Ah went through the school wae.  Ah widnae dae it.  He’d jist gied me two big black eyes at the time
and Ah wis too embarrassed tae go and speak tae the guy.  By the time ma bruises hid disappeared, there wis nae mair jobs wae the firm.”

  “Whit dae ye mean, ye blame yersel, Gina?”

  “Well, if Ah’d goat him that job, he’d hiv been up and oot every morning and he wid’ve hid tae pull his socks up.  He said it himsel, that this wis his last chance.  Ah fucked up there, good and proper.”

  “So, how long hiv ye been married then?”

  “Jist o’er thirteen years…Ah think.  A couple ae weeks ago, he came in absolutely pished oot ae his skull.  Ma wee lassie, Meg, wis sitting at the kitchen table, daeing her homework, and he attacked her fur gieing him a dirty look.  Ah hid her jist before Ah met him, so he’s always been a bit funny wae her.  The fact that we couldnae hiv any weans thegither didnae help either.  Ah wis always trying tae get him tae go tae the doctors bit he widnae hiv any ae it.  Anyway, that day, he went fur her withoot any provocation.  He grabbed her by the hair.  When Ah jumped in, he whacked me wae his elbow and Ah fell oan ma arse between the table and the sink.  Oan the way doon, Ah grabbed the haundle ae the cutlery drawer tae stoap ma fall, bit the whole drawer slid oot and emptied o’er the tap ae me.  Meg wis screaming the place doon, shouting at me tae get him aff ae her.  When Ah managed tae pick masel up, Ah hid a breid-knife in ma haun and Ah plunged it straight intae his back.”

  “So, it wis self defence then?  Ye wur trying tae save yer daughter fae a madman?”

  “Aye and naw.  Mr Howdy said that there wis nae history ae violence fae him in the past.  The fact that Ah hidnae ever goat the polis when he’d beaten me up before meant that it wis ma word against his.  Mr Howdy also said that when a man and a wife hiv a wee domestic situation, it disnae normally end up wae wan ae them being stabbed.  His advice wis tae plead guilty and because Ah wis a first offender, Ah’d probably only get probation.”

  “Fur Christ’s sake, Ah cannae believe whit Ah’m hearing, Gina,” Helen said, concerned.

  “Aye, he said the court widnae believe it either.”

  “Naw, Ah’m speaking aboot that Howdy.”

  “He went and spoke wae ma John who agreed tae sign a statement tae say that he wid take me back, if the judge wid go easy oan me and gie me another chance.”

  “Ah hope ye telt him where tae go.”

  “He said John his furgiven me and he hopes Ah’ll be back hame as soon as Ah’m oot ae here.”

  “Bit, ye’re no gaun back surely, Gina?”

  “Ah think things will change noo, Helen.  He said John wis gonnae stoap drinking wance Ah get oot ae here.  Ye might think this is stupid, bit this is maybe the turning point in ma life and things will get better noo.  Ah think John his realised that he needs help,” Gina said, gaun back tae her wandering, humming and hauf-singing oot ae tune.

  Helen hid her hopes up that the song competition wis gonnae disappear when she sat doon wae her bowl ae soup.

  “You tell them,” Jean said tae Patsy.

  “Whit?”

  “Y’know whit.  Whit we wur talking aboot earlier.”

  “Oan ye go then.”

  “Naw, you tell them, Patsy.  Don’t be shy.”

  “Whit is it, Patsy?”

  “Me and Jean went tae work oan the song, bit we couldnae get very far.”

  “Whit?  Ye couldnae come up wae any words?”

  “Naw, we could make up new words tae the song, bit, er, Ah thought Jean could write and she thought Ah could, bit it turns oot the baith ae us ur in the same boat,” Patsy murmured, clearly embarrassed.

  “Ye’ve nae pen or pencils?”

  “Naw, the baith ae us hiv jist discovered that we wur baith thickos at school and never managed tae learn tae read and write.”

  “Did youse go tae the same school?” asked Sally.

  “Naw,” Jean and Patsy said thegither.

  “Then, how could ye baith go tae different schools and no learn tae read or write?”

  “We hated school and never managed tae learn,” they baith chipped in, in unison.

  “That’s unbelievable,” retorted Sally.

  “Ma maw never learned either and she never talks aboot it.  Ma da reads oot the stories in the People’s Friend tae her.  She says she likes the sound ae his voice.  It’s no something anywan should be ashamed ae,” Helen said.

  “Ah kin write, bit nowan ever understauns ma writing, including masel,” Wee Morag added, tae chuckles fae everywan.

  “Bit, we’re still up fur the competition?” Big Pat asked them.

  “Ah telt ye, Pat, we cannae read or write,” Jean said, face red wae embarrassment.

  “Aye, Ah heard ye.  How aboot if we jist aw make up a verse and remember it till we get doon tae the yard and then we’ll teach each other the verses.  Dae youse think ye could mange that?”

  “Brilliant!  We kin soon dae that, so we kin.  Is that no right, Patsy?” Jean said tae her cellmate.

  “Too true, we kin.  Ah’ve goat a verse made up in ma heid awready.”

  “Well, keep it tae yersel the noo, and we’ll hiv a wee singsong at the morra efternoon’s break then.  Ah’m still struggling tae come up wae something masel.”

Helen wis still right embarrassed at aw the trouble she wis causing, bit wis laughing at the same time.  They wur sitting oan the same spot in the yard where they’d been the day before and earlier that morning, smack bang in the middle ae the walking circle.

  “Right, girls, how ur we gonnae dae this then?” Big Pat asked them.

  “Ah’m no sure if whit Ah’ve come up wae is any good.  Helen widnae help me.  She said she wis too embarrassed,” Gina admitted.

  “Let’s staun up as if we’re The Supremes,” Wee Morag suggested, clearly getting aw excited.

  “Bit, there’s only four in the Supremes,” Sally reminded them.

  “Well, there’s seven noo,” said Diana Ross, the autograph hunter, getting up oan tae her feet.

  Helen lay oan her back, looking up at them, propped up oan her elbows.

  “Ah cannae believe this.  Ah feel so embarrassed, so Ah dae,” she said, red-faced.

  “Oor verse is so brilliant, so it is, Helen,” Wee Morag said, beaming, as she composed hersel.

  “Right, here’s how we’ll dae it.  Me and Miss ‘Oor Verse Is So Brilliant’’ will go first, then Betty and Sally, then Gina and then, last bit no least, Jean and Patsy.  How dis that sound, eh?”

  “How come we’re last?  If Wee Morag thinks her lines ur the best, then you and her should go last, Pat.  Ye’ve heard ae the saying that the best should be last, hiven’t ye?”

  “Look, let’s jist get oan wae it.  Wee Morag isnae claiming oors is the best.  We’ll run through it and wance we’ve aw done oor bits, everywan jist goes straight tae the beginning and we’ll aw dae it again, bit this time we’ll aw sing each other’s verse thegither.  Hiv youse aw goat that noo?”

  “Whit wis the tune again?” Helen asked.

  “‘Ah Only Want Tae Be Wae You’, by Dusty Springfield, bit noo sung by The Seven Supremes,” Wee Morag chirruped excitedly.