Run Johnboy Run: The Glasgow Chronicles 2 (30 page)

“So, Ah’m okay withoot a lawyer then?”

  “Naw, Ah’ve goat ye a wee guy.  His name’s Harry Portoy.  He used tae be a big-shot brief a few years ago, till wan ae his cases went wrang and he ended up oan the drink.”

  “So, he’s goat a good track record and is sensitive tae boot then?” Helen asked sarcastically, lighting up another fag.

  “Ah don’t know aboot being sensitive, bit he definitely didnae mess aboot.  He used tae take aw they crown briefs tae the cleaners.  Ye wid see them toppling like milk bottles oan tap ae a wall.  Wan time, when he wis asked tae comment oan his success, he said it wisnae that he wis successful, it wis jist that the opposition wur that shite that he felt he should’ve been charged wae earning a living under false pretences.”

  “So, will he be there oan Friday?”

  “Aye.”

  “How the hell kin he represent me, if Ah only get tae see him five minutes before Ah’m in front ae JP?”

  “Ye won’t.  Ah’ve arranged tae get him up tae speak wae ye oan Tuesday or Wednesday.  When ye meet him, don’t be put aff by the way he looks or comes across.”

  “How dae ye mean?”

  “Ye’ll need tae be sensitive wae him.”

  “Ah’ll need tae be sensitive wae him?  Who the hell’s representing who here?”

  “Aye, well, he’s been oot ae the game fur a wee while and he’s no been well, so it might take him a wee bit ae time tae, er, get focussed.”

  “Focussed?”

  “Aye, well, ye know whit Ah mean.”

  “Naw Ah don’t.  Tell me.”

  “Ah’ve jist managed tae get a haud ae him, bit Ah hivnae explained the details ae yer situation tae him yet.”

  “So he’s agreed tae take me oan then?  He’s signed oan the dotted line or whitever they lawyer types dae?”

  “Well, no quite yet, bit he will.”

  “Listen, Ah’m getting confused and concerned here.  Whit the hell’s gaun oan?  Hiv Ah goat a lawyer or no?”

  “Er, aye and naw.”

  Silence.

  “Ah picked him up when he wis oan route tae The Tontine Hotel this morning.”

  “Whit’s he goat tae dae wae The Tontine Hotel?”

  “He lives there.”

  “Whit, is he in charge then?”

  “Er, naw, he’s wan ae the punters.”

  “Ur ye trying tae tell me that ma brief is a jakey?”

  “He’s no a real jakey.”

  “So, whit is he then?”

  “Ah telt ye, he hid a wee bad turn and noo he’s oan his way back.”

  “So, when did he start the journey back then?”

  “Er, this morning.”

  Silence.

  “Ah know it sounds worse than bad, bit believe me, he’s wan ae the tap lawyers in the toon...or he wis.”

  “So, when wis the last time he hid a drink then?”

  “Ah’m no quite sure…probably this morning.”

  Silence.

  “Ah telt ye, the paper cannae hiv a trail back tae yersel.  This guy is good.  Ah’ve seen him in action.   Ah’ve taken him tae dry oot.  The wee wummin Ah’ve taken him tae will hiv him running aboot in nae time.  Aw ye need tae dae is no judge the book by the cover and dae exactly as he asks.”

  “Tuesday or Wednesday, ye said?”

  “Aye.”

  “Ah cannae bloody wait tae see this.  At least it’ll be entertaining, if nothing else.”

  “Helen, don’t ye worry aboot a thing.  Trust me.  Ah’m seldom wrang aboot these things.  Jist you leave Harry tae me and keep yer mental spirits up.”

  “So, how come ye managed tae get in here the day?  Everywan’s locked up fur the duration.”

  “Ah don’t know.  Ma boss goat me in.”

  “So, if they ask, who dae Ah say ye ur?”

  “Jist tell them Ah’m yer brief’s assistant, Mr Morrison.  Ah’ve come tae take a statement.”

  “Ah’m gonnae come oot ae this place a bigger bloody liar than Ah wis when Ah came in.”

  “Is there anything else Ah kin dae fur ye?  Dae ye want me tae take a run up and pass oan a message tae yer family?”

  “You jist stay well clear ae ma family,” she warned.  “Ah’ll deal wae them masel.  Jist make sure that yer pal Harry disnae hiv a drink and leave me high and dry oan Friday,” Helen said, staunin up.

  “Don’t worry, he’ll produce the goods.”

  “Aye, well, we’ll see.”

  “Ah’m sorry aboot The Corporation…the basturts.”

  “Whit aboot them?”

  “Sending oot a letter telling ye tae get yer arse doon tae them next Friday efternoon or yersel and the weans ur oot oan yer arses.”

  “Whit letter?”

  “Dae ye no know?  There’s a letter been sent oot tae tell ye tae turn up at a meeting tae explain why ye’re interfering wae Corporation business.”

  “The basturts!”

  “Remember whit Ah telt ye aboot Big Brother?  This is it in practice locally, oan the ground flair.  This is how they work.”

  “Bit, how dae ye know aboot the letter?  Hiv ye been talking tae ma lassies?”

  “Naw, Ah picked it up oan ma travels.  They’re oot tae get ye, so they ur.”

  “This lawyer, Harry whitever his name is, better be as good as ye think he is or ye kin furget yer story,” Helen said, stubbing her fag oot, as The Rat disappeared oot the door.

  “This way, Taylor,” Sideburn Sally said, opening and clanging shut another steel gate efter she passed through.

  Helen’s heid wis ringing.  The news aboot the letter hid scared her mair than whit The Rat hid been prattling oan aboot.  She wis hog-tied and trapped, she thought tae hersel, trying tae suppress the panic that she felt welling up inside.

  “Right, sit oan that bench jist noo.  When ye go in, it’s yes ma’am, no ma’am, three bags full ma’am.  Hiv ye goat that?”

  Helen didnae know whit the she wis oan aboot.  It wis only when she sat doon, she noticed she wis sitting opposite a door that said ‘Assistant Governor’ oan it.  Side Burns disappeared inside, leaving The Twitcher ootside, twitching across at her, bit no saying a word.

  “Right, Taylor, quick as ye kin noo.  We cannae keep the Governor waiting, kin we?”

  Helen walked through the door.  The room wis bright and plush, like something oot ae they magazines that she skimmed through when she wis sitting waiting at the doctors roond oan St James Road.  She couldnae remember ever seeing a picture ae a Praying Mantis, bit the wee skinny wummin sitting behind the huge desk looked jist like wan, and it wisnae anything tae dae wae the padded shoulder pads, ootlined under the fabric ae the smart suit she wis sporting.  Helen felt her knees wobble, which probably stoapped her fae aboot turning and running screaming fae the room tae plead wae somewan, anywan, tae let her go hame tae her man and weans.

  “Name and number, Taylor?” barked Hairy Face.

  “Er, Taylor.”

  “Number?”

  Silence.

  “Never mind, Martha, I’ll take it from here,” Maggie Metal Drawers said tae Big Fat Martha.

  “Yes, ma’am,” the screw said, aboot turned and pounded oot the door wae that man’s walk ae hers, followed by Twitchy Arse.

  “So, you’re the person who doesn’t believe in paying her bills like the rest of us?”

  “Naw, Ah’m the wan that pleaded not guilty tae assaulting a six foot three gorilla, who wis part ae a twenty four strong squad ae polis, who decided tae assault me and ma neighbours when we wur peacefully protesting aboot sheriff officers conducting a hoose sale ae the furniture ae an auld age pensioner fur no being able tae pay her rent because aw her money went oan trying tae keep hersel and her hoose warm when it wis freezing, due tae the draughts coming in through the rotten windae frames ae her Corporation hoose...ma’am.”

  Fur Christ’s sake…slow doon, Helen…stoap panicking…be strong…be strong, a distant voice wis shouting fae somewhere in the back ae beyond, fae inside that heid ae hers.

  “So, you see yourself as some type of martyr then, do you?”

  “Ah see masel as others see me.  Some like whit they see, some don’t...ma’am.”

  “But, you believe that people should decide whether to pay for things or not, even after they have entered into a legal agreement?”

  “Ah’ve never owned a car, bit ye look as if ye’ve hid that pleasure. Noo, if ye went intae wan ae they swanky car showrooms and bought a car, believing that it hid four new wheels, fancy padded seats and wis a lovely pink colour, bit efter it wis delivered, the rain washed aff the pink, aw yer wheels started tae drap aff when ye went fur a wee spin tae impress yer pals, and yer seats turned oot tae be a wooden bench like the wan oan the other side ae yer office door there, wid ye be happy tae keep paying yer payments, even though ye signed oan the dotted line...ma’am?”  

  Take that, ya stuck up bitch, ye, Helen thought tae hersel.

  “I believe you’ve just had a visitor.  A Mister, Mister...?”

  “Morrison.  He’s an assistant tae ma lawyer.”

  “Oh yes, and your lawyer is?” Tin Arse asked, picking up her pen, making oot she wis aboot tae send a wee welcome letter tae him.

  Helen’s brain froze.  Despite trying tae remember the name that The Rat hid said, she jist couldnae remember the jakey’s name.  Wis it Bill somebody?  She wis aboot tae apologise, when she remembered it.  It wis Harry Portoy.  Jist as she wis aboot tae spit it oot, she noticed the slyness in the sunken eyes ae the snake sitting curled roond the chair behind the fancy desk in front ae her.

  “Ah’m sorry, bit Ah cannae remember his name.”

  “You can’t remember the name of the person who will represent you in court?”

  “That’s right...ma’am.”

  “And this Mr Morrison?  He is an assistant to your solicitor, you say?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Your lawyer must have quite important friends through in Edinburgh to be able to get his assistant in to Gateside Prison on a Sunday afternoon, after all the women are locked up.”

  Silence.

  “And you cannot remember the name of this…lawyer?”

  “Naw.”

  “I see,” she said, clearly disappointed.

  Helen hid a chance tae look aboot the fancy office as Snake Face started writing something doon that Helen suspected wisnae her shoapping list.  She wondered if she wis gonnae end up daeing mair time in the jail fur no telling her that he wis a reporter fae The Glesga Echo.  Whit wis happening tae her?  Who wur these people?  She wanted tae scream until the distant voice in her heid reminded her tae slow doon, tae take a deep breath and tae exhale slowly.

  “There was a commotion outside in the yard earlier.  Can you tell me what was going on?”

  “Ah wisnae aware that there wis a commotion...ma’am.”

  “I believe there was some singing and dancing and you were at the centre of it.”

  “Ah wis sitting doon, listening tae some ae the wummin, who wur singing because they wur happy and the fact that they wur dancing at the same time tended tae confirm ma suspicions…ma’am,” Helen said, mesmerised by the slits that hid replaced the eyes oan the face in front ae her.

  “And what do you think they were happy about?”

  “It looked tae me that they wur happy because, despite the situation they find themselves in, they wur able tae overcome their current misery and put thegither a wee song and dance routine tae perform tae their fellow prisoners.”

  “And what was the song about?”

  “It wis aboot the injustice ae wummin and their weans getting their beds sold fae under them fur peanuts and how in the end, the wummin triumph.”

  “So, it was about you?”

  “Naw, whit made them happy wisnae aboot me or whit wis in a song.  It wis aboot them being able tae take a few minutes oot ae their miserable existence in a place like this and dae something thegither that allowed them tae express themselves, withoot fear or shame and fur them tae actually feel human again, if only fur a few minutes...in ma opinion…ma’am.”

  “Are you suggesting that the ladies in Greenock HMP are not cared for?”

  “Whit Ah’m suggesting is that there ur tons ae vulnerable wummin in here who ur victims, and hiv been fur years, who find themselves in a predicament that’s ootside ae their control and that, wae a little bit ae comfort and support, they could be helped tae face up tae the situations they find themselves in and tae cope better.”

  “And would you class yourself as one of these victims?”

  “Ah’ve hid ma share ae problems in life…being in here, away fae ma family, being wan ae them,” Helen replied, wae a swish ae her haun towards the grey cell block that could be seen through the barred windae.

  “Well, just before I have you escorted back to your room, I would just like to point out that I…we…operate a caring regime in this establishment, with dedicated and hardworking officers, who all push the boat out with respect for the well-being of all, irrespective of who they are or where they come from.  Despite our dedication, you obviously have no regard for our methodology and the positive impact we make to the lives of the women, some who have never experienced routine, let alone a clean bed and a healthy diet.  You’re clearly unaware of our success in allowing them time out to reflect and perhaps do things differently in the future, once they are free.  However, given that you have only just arrived, I am sure we’ll be able to change your perspective over the remainder of the time you may have with us, whilst you are on remand.  If you happen to come back to stay with us for a little longer after your impending court appearance next Friday…well…I’m sure we’ll be able to contribute towards any rehabilitation needs you may have.  In the meantime, I would ask you to adhere to the rules that apply to all, irrespective of their status, self or otherwise, and allow us to do our job the way we know best.  Have I made myself clear?” the snake hissed slyly and threateningly.