Runaway Love (4 page)

“Did they go to heaven?” Oh boy. I’m not really sure how to answer this because I don’t even know if I really believe there’s a God or a heaven. I gave up on any superior power being involved in my life a long time ago. But, I’m not going to let Scottie know that.

“Daddy misses them very much, just as I’m sure they miss him. Sometimes it just makes Daddy too sad to talk about them.”

“What about your parents?” Shit. I’d hoped he’d forget about my parents.

“I never knew my parents,” I say simply.

“Really? Did they die before you can remember?”

“Yes, baby. My parents are dead to me.” I can’t tell my son the whole truth. I’ll not ruin his fragile innocence at this point in his life and let him know just how cruel people can be. In my mind and heart, my parents are dead. They died the moment they turned their backs on me. Screw them. I hope they are burning in hell.

“Are you and Daddy going to die and leave me alone, too?” The fear I was afraid would surface is there.

“No, honey. Daddy and I are planning on being with you forever and ever!”

“Well, not forever, Mommy. That’s not possible. My teacher said so.”

I reach back and tickle Scottie before I head toward home again.

When we pull up to the house, I notice Tony’s motorcycle parked outside. I’m so happy and relieved that he’s home!

“Yay! Daddy’s home early, Mom!” Scottie’s fighting to take off his seatbelt as I park the car. I get out and go around to let him out. He runs to the door as Tony walks out to greet us with his motorcycle jacket still on. He must’ve just gotten home. I give him a kiss like nothing is wrong, but he looks at me like he notices something.

“Baby, Scottie wants to know if we can take him to see
Big Hero 6
tonight.” Tony kisses both my cheeks before he kisses my lips.

“Remember I love you. If you begin to feel depressed again, let me know. I’ll stop whatever I’m doing to be here for you. Always.” 

I’m about to start crying again, so I stretch up on my tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “Scottie asked about our parents on the way home.”

Tony’s mouth forms a silent, “oh” as he processes what I tell him with tears in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, I think I explained our parents okay for now. Let’s just act like everything’s normal for now,” I whisper to him again before I give him a loud kiss on the cheek to get Scottie’s attention. His hopeful eyes look up at us and shine when I say with too much excitement, “So, I guess we’re going to the movies, huh?”

“Oh boy! Are we really, Dad?” Scottie comes over to jump in Tony’s arms.

Tony laughs and exclaims, “How can I say no to my favorite people on earth? Yes, we are going to the movies…after we go out to dinner! That’s why I’m home early - I saw the previews and heard my co-workers talk about it at work!”

“Yay! A restaurant and a movie!” Scottie shouts, and I can’t help but be caught up in the excitement of a fun, carefree night out with my family.

I have so much fun with the men of my life that I forget about my phone call with Scott until later that night. I get into bed and curl up with Tony who is snoring loudly. That’s usually a sign that he’s really tired. I can’t sleep, and I want to wake Tony up to talk to me, however I know he and his friends take their bikes out early on Saturday mornings, so I want him to rest. From the sound of it, he really needs the sleep! I toss and turn repeatedly, replaying what Scott said to me. He said he couldn’t wait for me...the cruelest words he could’ve said. Was he even going to come back for me? Was I ever really important to him, or was I just a hopeless girl who he and Paul would laugh about?

I’m going to drive myself insane with all the unknowns, so I need to stop. I can’t stress over this anymore; I can’t let it control my life again and lead me down a dangerous path. I have too much to live for now. Scott is in the past, and Tony is my present and future. I love Tony; really, I do.

I wake up feeling a little disoriented, so I feel around the bed to see if Tony’s still sleeping. His side is cold, and I realize I must’ve overslept. I jump up to check my phone and realize it’s after eleven already! How did I sleep so late? I don’t hear anyone in the house, so I check Scottie’s room only to discover he’s gone also. I start to panic a little. Where is everyone? I know Tony’s out on his weekly bike ride, but where’s Scottie? I call Tony’s phone, but it just rings and rings. Of course it would - he’s on the bike and can’t hear it. I start to pace the living room until I notice a sticky note on my laptop. I breathe out a huge sigh of relief as Tony’s note tells me he took Scottie over to his friend Patrick’s house to play. Whew, my heart can go back to normal now!

I open my laptop to check my e-mail. I immediately notice that I have a new message from Scott that’s from a different account than the one I originally e-mailed. I don’t think twice before I click it open.

Grace,

I hope you don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I wanted to call you back, but I don’t want to cause you any problems. I know you have a husband and child. I understand you couldn’t wait for me your entire life, but if you want to talk some more and let me explain, please call me back. This is my off-season, so I’m available whenever you need me to be. I don’t know if I can let you go again now that you have come back into my life. I really want to see you, my precious Gracie.

Love always,

Scott

Oh my… How could… Grrrrrrr! The nerve of that man! I have to fight my urge to smash my laptop against the wall! And what about my husband? How the fuck does he know I’m married? How does he know I have a child? He knows so much about me, but he never bothered to contact me or come back for me? He’s an asshole! I starved myself for him; I wanted to kill myself because he never came back. If Tony hadn’t come and saved me, I wouldn’t even be here! I start to scream. This pain that I feel in my heart is all because of Scott. I felt abandoned by him, rejected. He knew that was my biggest fear, but he didn’t give a damn about me or my feelings. He needs to know he destroyed me; I want him to know, face to face, what he did to me. He needs to see the hurt he caused me all these years while he was carefree and happy on the beach with his girlfriend. I send an email back:

I’d love to see you. When I can set something up, I’ll let you know. Of course, you’ll have to come to the States for our meeting.

Sincerely,

Grace Evans

There. It’s simple and to the point. I won’t waste any more emotions or time on that man.

I go into my and Tony’s little in-house gym and put my headphones on to go for a run on the treadmill. I won’t let Scott stress me out again. He knows so much about me, but I know so little about him since the Internet didn’t provide much insight into Scott’s life. I must’ve been running for some time when I feel strong hands on my body, lifting me off the treadmill. I scream until I realize it’s just Tony.

“Tony! You scared me! Sorry I didn’t hear you come in!” I take my headphones off as I try to catch my breath.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you like that, but you were so focused on your running that I couldn’t get your attention.” Tony looks at the time on the treadmill after he stops it and looks at me. “Wow, Gracie! When were you going to stop?” 

I look over at the time and realize I’m drenched with sweat. “Wow, I didn’t realize I was running so long.” I grab a bottled water from Tony and guzzle all of it in one gulp.

“I came home to surprise my wife with a bike ride like we used to do, but it looks like you were running a marathon. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s good,” I respond without looking him in the eye.

“Are you sure? I felt you tossing and turning all night.” Dang, I didn’t think Tony was awake enough to feel me move around so much in our bed. I can’t let him know what’s going on because he’ll start paying extra attention to me. Tony knows me better than anyone and knows what I’m capable of doing. I can’t live my life under his loving scrutiny again.

“Seriously, I’m fine. I just had some old memories hit me after my conversation with Scottie yesterday. There’s nothing to worry about, I promise. I’m good.”

Tony gives me a look like he isn’t sure I’m telling the truth but is letting it go for me. He comes over to wrap his strong, dependable arms around me.

“Ewww! Tony, I’m all sweaty and gross!” I laugh as I try to wiggle out of his arms, but he holds on even tighter.

“I don’t care how disgusting you are! I love you, Grace Evans, with all my heart and soul. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. There’s nothing you can do or say to ever make me leave you. You’re stuck with me, babe, forever and always.” I look up into his eyes as his voice begins to crack with emotion. I know that Tony’s the only person I can fully trust to never hurt me. He’ll never lie to me or keep information from me; he’ll never abandon me or give up on me. He accepts and loves me for the fucked up person I am, and I love him for that.

That night, Scottie has his first sleepover at Patrick’s house. I’m a little sad that my little boy’s experiencing a “big boy” milestone in his life, but I’m also so extremely proud of him for handling it with such excitement and maturity.

For the first time since Scottie was born, Tony and I have the house to ourselves. I have to admit that I’m eager for what our imaginations will lead us to do! After we drop Scottie’s overnight bag off at Patrick’s, Tony and I decide to go to a sports bar with a few of his friends and their wives. I don’t usually drink much anymore, but I refuse to be a party-pooper tonight. No, tonight is about being young and carefree and having a good time with my husband.

The parking lot is full when we arrive at the sports bar, but Tony’s able to find a spot fairly quickly. As we’re getting out of the car, he grabs my hand and says, “Baby, are you good tonight? We don’t have to stay long. If you want to drink, go ahead because I’ll drive.” He’s always my safety net.

“It’s okay, Tony. I don’t plan on drinking that much.” We kiss and head in while holding hands. I immediately see my friend Kimberly who is somewhat of a bad influence on me, but I love her to pieces anyway. She is my closest, and pretty much only, female friend.

“Gracie!!! I’m so glad you came out tonight!” Kimberly comes over to greet me with a huge hug. Of course, I had been debating in my head the whole time I was taking a shower about coming, but I’m surely not going to tell her that.

“Well, it’s just me and Tony tonight, so we figured there’s nothing stopping us from coming out and enjoying a few drinks with our friends.”

“Yes! That’s the right attitude! I thought I was going to have to come over and drag you out of your house, missy! By the way, you look so damn hot! Those tight jeans show off your amazing ass, and your tits look huge in that top. I know who’s getting a little something-something tonight!” A dose of Kimberly is just what I needed tonight! I start to laugh at Kimberly’s amazing ability to just say whatever is on her mind.

“My tits are not that big, and these jeans
are
my favorite ass jeans.” I twirl around and shimmy, and Kimberly slaps my ass.

“Yes, you’re right. Now, let’s go play nice with the other girls.” She pulls me in the direction of where the other ladies are sitting with their heads in their phones. We stay and make polite small talk for a little while before we end up at the pool table.

I clicked with Kimberly the first time I met her. I know pretty much everything about her, I think. She lives her life as an open book, not ashamed of her past or anything she has said or done. Kimberly says everything she has gone through in life has helped her become the “amazing hot bitch” she is today.

The first night we met, she told me everything about the abusive relationship her husband saved her from, and I knew I had found a kindred spirit in her. Luckily, we live in the same neighborhood, so we can be there for each other within a moment’s notice. Kimberly is older than I am, so I look at her like my big sister. She has been through a lot in her life, too, and is so full of wisdom and understanding. That being said, I still haven’t told her much about me or Scott. I trust her, but not with my deepest, darkest secrets.