Running Interference (18 page)

“Baby girl, I love you, but you are a liar,” her mother said. “I saw you coming in and out of here these last few weeks, and up until now your happiness was growing. That man brings out the best in you.” She leaned across the bar and grabbed hold of Tanya's face. “That's what love does.”

Love?
Tanya snorted. She wasn't
in love
with Cam. “This is crazy.” She took turns glaring at all three of them. “Women don't need men to bring out the best in them. I bring out the best in myself.” She wiped a bit of spittle from her chin. Okay, so she brought out the worst in herself, too, but that was her prerogative. “Are you telling me Pop brought out the best in you?”

“You're damn straight he did,” her mother said. “He still does. He made me a mother and encouraged me to open this restaurant.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I wouldn't be who I am today without him.”

And that wasn't healthy. That dependency could cost Pop the gym.

“What a crock of shit!” Tanya pushed her drink away and dropped feet to the floor, but she couldn't get off the stool. MJ and Jillian held her in place.

“Don't go,” MJ said. “Please.”

“Why would I want to stay here and listen to relationship advice from my mother who is divorced, never remarried, and has put my father's dream in jeopardy to further her own?”

Damn.
Who said that? Not her. She'd never spoken like that in front of either one of her parents.

Hurt deepened the color of her mother's face.

“I'm sorry.” So sorry. She loved her parents to death. She just wished there was an easier way to talk about this. But the truth was, she was bitter. Her mother walked away to take care of someone at the other end of the bar.

Tanya wilted. “I'm a horrible person.”

Jillian threw an arm around her. “No, you're just feeling horrible. There's a big difference.”

She dragged her drink closer and finished it off.

When her mother returned, she dropped elbows to the bar and leaned in. “I did not make your father hand over any money to me. Ever. I refused more than once. But you know what he said to me? He said, ‘Mary, my gym may have cost us a peaceful marriage, but it's going to save your restaurant.' And then he said, ‘We'll call it even.'” She shook her head as tears formed. “You're a smart, strong, independent woman, but you don't know everything, and sometimes you can be too damn strong. There's got to be balance in life. And I'll tell you another thing. I was the one who told him not to sell that place, because it's you kids' legacy. I told him to believe in what you and Terrell could do.”

Did that fix things? Maybe. Probably. She didn't know. The booze. She was just about to hug her and apologize again when her mother said, “I wasn't going to tell you this part, but … do you know the last time I had sex?”

Tanya recoiled. “No, and I don't want to know.”

“Two nights ago.”

She felt a dry heave coming on.

“You know who with?”

She plugged her ears, but MJ and Jillian pulled her fingers free.

“Your father.”

Tanya was so surprised she forgot to gag. Her mother was her father's friend with benefits? This whole damn thing was ludicrous.

“That man was, is, and will always be my soul mate. That's the only way I can explain how we've behaved these last sixteen years. My point is, love is crazy, complicated, and worth every up and down.”

“True that,” MJ said with a wiggle of her fingers and a glance at her engagement ring.

Tanya was transfixed by the bling and rendered speechless by her mother's words.

“Baby, you have this idea that love hurts, and it can … it does.” Her mother smoothed a hand over Tanya's. “But it also feels good, safe, and right, because it's what we're on this earth to do. Don't deprive yourself of that because you're scared you'll end up like your father and me or Tyler and Marissa. You should be so lucky to end up like your father and me.” The tears returned. “We might not be orthodox, but we love each other.”

Tanya slid her hands away. “Okay. Fine. Maybe you and Pop are this lovey-dovey anomaly, but don't talk to me about Tyler and Marissa. They're ruining Jace's life. Even Pop is worried about him. That's why he's had him at the gym.”

“Wrong again, baby girl. You need to talk to your brother about what's really going on with that divorce, because Marissa asked him to go to marriage counseling one last time, and he's agreed. That's why your father has been bringing Jace to the gym.”

Holy shit.
Her head was spinning. Probably in part to the booze. But her mother's revelations didn't help. Heavy stuff. Then again, what did it matter to her?

It was all well and good that her marriage-challenged family was finally getting their crap together, but that didn't have anything to do with her and Cam. Not really. Sure, she'd grown attached to him over the last month. Yeah, she was jealous—green from the inside out—at the thought of him with Katerina, the woman whose arms she'd practically pushed him into. But attachment and jealousy did not equal a love affair. In fact, they sounded like the beginnings of a mentally unstable relationship.

Love.
God, just the thought of the word had her crinkling her nose. It was such a warped ideal.

“I'll have another.” She tapped her glass.

After all this, she was damn well going to sleep.

God only knew how many hours later, Tanya woke with a headache. She welcomed it, because when her head hurt like this, her heart hurt much less.

Jillian knocked on the door jamb. “We're leaving in forty-five minutes.” She set a cup of steaming coffee on Tanya's bedside table and patted her arm.

But it was Sunday, her day off.

“MJ is talking about body image and women's rights at the Unitarian church today. Remember?”

Not if it came up last night after her third drink. She groaned.

“I know, but the coffee will help.”

Not as much as the shower. After that, Tanya felt human again.

They managed the drive across town without a single word about last night's relationship intervention. Tanya mostly stared out the window while Jillian sang along with the radio. When they pulled into the parking lot, a few teammates were hanging outside the church's double doors. Relief washed over Tanya. Talking about what happened last night definitely wouldn't happen now.

More teammates were waiting in the lobby. She loved how they supported each other. This was more important than some temporary love affair. This was damn near family.

“She's going to be so happy to see you all.” Tag worked his way into the crowd of women. “She's used to speaking in front of teenagers, but adults make her nervous. Seeing your faces is going to help big time. I had the usher reserve two rows. Just tell him you're with the team.” He was beaming.

“That woman hit the man jackpot with him,” Jillian whispered.

Yep, Doc was something else, but … Tanya waited for the cynicism to kick in. Oh, why bother? Her parents were still sleeping together. Why couldn't MJ and Tag have as many years of wedded bliss? Apparently stranger things could and did happen.

When Tag was the first one on his feet after MJ's talk ended, Tanya thought without a hint of sarcasm,
that marriage is going to stick
. She didn't even quantify it with an, “I hope so.”

“Let me treat you ladies to lunch,” Tag said as the four of them stood outside the church long after the crowd had thinned.

He let MJ pick, and she chose an Italian restaurant in University Heights. A table was already set for them when they arrived. A bottle of sparkling grape juice was chilling in a bucket, and a bouquet of flowers covered one of the place settings.

MJ squealed. “How did you know I was going to pick Geraci's?” She threw her arms around him.

“I know my girl.”

Geez. That was impressive. She'd known MJ longer than Tag had, but she couldn't have predicted the restaurant MJ would've chosen with that much certainty.

They kissed, and Tanya looked away. She was happy for them.

All through lunch, Tanya focused on them. So this was what love looked like.

Tag teased MJ, and she teased right back. They exchanged meaningful glances between bites. Then he touched her. First, her shoulder, then he slipped his hand over her back and up again to her neck. MJ's head rolled ever so slightly with his massage.

Tanya felt the ghost of Cam. They'd been like that. Sans the honking rock on her left ring finger and the shared accommodations. They'd been just like that. In sync. In tune. In love.

Her mother had been right.

“Excuse me.” She bolted from the table and hid inside the ladies room.

Girl, you better get a grip.
Just because she loved him didn't mean she needed to fall apart.

“You okay?” The door swung shut behind Jillian. “Greasy food can be a blessing and curse after a night of drinking. Oh … ” Her eyes widened as she took in Tanya's face. “You're not sick are you?”

Tanya shook her head. But she felt sick, because the words, “I love him,” were wreaking havoc on her insides.

Jillian hugged her. “What are we going to do with you?”

“Even if I do … ”
Say it. Get it out. You'll feel better then
, “love him, and he loves me, what then?” She broke free of Jillian's arms. “I'm here. My job, my team, my family. All here. I want to be here, but he wants to be there.”

“Why can't you go there when you can, and he can come here when he can?”

It sounded so simple. “But … but … most relationships are doomed already. Long-distance relationships are the worst. It can't work.”

“It can if the people involved are independent and secure outside the relationship.”

Tanya made a face. “What the hell do you know about relationships like that?”

“My dad was military,” Jillian said. “He missed huge chunks of my life, but I'll tell you what, he was as close as a man could be to my mother. Once, they didn't see each other for a year, but the minute he got home, they picked up right where they left off. My point is, if you love Cam, then you should be with him as much as you can. End of story.”

Okay, now that actually sounded reasonable. But part of her was still screaming, “Where's the catch?” There had to be some doom and gloom she needed to prepare for. What the hell was she supposed to do with herself if she wasn't preparing and defending?

“I don't know what to think or do anymore,” she said.

“How ‘bout you start by calling him and telling him you're sorry for pushing him away these last few days?”

Maybe. She considered it on the ride home. She even pulled out her phone to call him, but then she decided to go to the gym first. Her thoughts were always clearer at the end of a hard workout. If calling him still made sense afterwards, she'd do it.

The first thing she saw when she walked into the gym was Jace shadow boxing inside the ring. Seeing the kid brought back everything her mother had said last night. Tyler and Marissa wanted to reconcile, which meant Chicago could end up nothing more than a close call. The tension she'd been holding in her chest lightened.

Pop climbed into the ring and adjusted Jace's stance. Her mother and father were having sex. Of all the crazy things. Tanya laughed.

Someone else was laughing too. In a blink, the tension returned. She looked toward the sound and saw Katerina Kloss throwing off-balanced punches at the hanging bag while light from a video camera lit her up like a downtown bus stop. Cam was standing right behind her. He squared her shoulders with his hands, and Tanya flinched.
Son of a bitch.
With the camera in plain sight it was obviously publicity, but seeing them having fun together made her heart hurt.

She refocused on her family. Maybe she'd climb into the ring, mess around with Jace, and move the hell on. But the burning wouldn't stop. Neither would Katerina's laughter.

Tanya looked their way again, and this time Cam was looking at her. He smiled. She managed to nod. The pain split her in two. Half wanted to go to him. The other half wanted to leave. And in the space between was the truth. Because she loved him, they could never be
just friends
again.

What do you want, Tanya?

“Him,” she whispered. And deep down she knew it wasn't too late to get him.

The problem was, she wasn't willing to take a risk like that without a damn good plan.

Cam couldn't sleep. He padded through his mother's quiet house to the fridge and opened a plastic container of leftover mashed potatoes. He ate them cold.

The microwave clock read
11:35
. No wonder he couldn't sleep. It was still so damn early. Katerina had invited him back to her place to look at the raw outtakes from the interview they'd recorded earlier that day at the gym. Maybe he should've gone with her, but why lead her on? It wasn't going happen. It was bad enough she kept stringing him along with one publicity opportunity after the other. Like the orchestrated boxing lesson she'd wanted to catch on tape after the interview.

He might not be able to sleep, but he was tired—tired of all of it.

The bolt lock on the back door turned, and his mother walked in from her night shift.

“Baby, you're home.” She looked surprised.

He smiled as she kissed the top of his head and lifted the plastic container of potatoes.

“They're cold,” she said. “Why didn't you heat it up?”

“Too tired.”

“Then why aren't you sleeping?” She plopped onto the chair beside him and gave him a good hard look. “You okay?”

He nodded.

Her nose wrinkled. “You might be all grown up, but I can still tell when you're bothered.” She patted his hand. “Is something going on with the team back in Boston?”