Running on Empty (24 page)

I check out the bathroom and it is indeed sparkling clean. I continue on to the older girls’ room since I can hear Kyndall’s voice getting louder as I make my way down the hallway. I stop by the door to listen before I open.

“I had so much fun with Blake! He was so nice and he let me ride on his shoulders! I can’t wait until we get to see him again!” Kyndall say enthusiastically. Okay, I guess this would be an opportune time to discuss Blake with the girls. I know it may be premature, but I want to make sure they understand my relationship with him.

I slowly open the door. Both girls’ heads whip around to look at me and they stop mid-jump on the bed. I raise my eyebrows giving them my “you know better” look. They both fall immediately on their bottoms.

“What are you guys up to in here, besides the obvious jumping on the bed that you know you’re not supposed to be doing?” I sit down on the bed with them.

“Talking about Blake, Mama,” Kyndall says with a smile.

“What about Blake, baby?”

“Well, I was telling Nycole how much I like him. He was really fun and he made us laugh! I can’t wait ‘til he comes back over!”

I nod my head at her and turn to look at Nycole who’s watching me closely. I have a feeling she knows where this conversation is headed.

“What about you, Nycole? How do you feel about Blake?” I reach out and pat her leg, encouraging her to speak.

“Well…he was fun. He was really nice to us. He read us each a story last night. And he didn’t even mind reading Rylie’s book. I like him,” she says hesitantly.

I move closer to the girls, making sure each one is on either side of my body. Putting my arms around both of their shoulders, I begin the ‘Blake’ discussion.

“Well, I like him too. You know, we’ve been friends since we were very, very little. I have known him a very long time, and I’m glad that you like him as much as I do. But I need to talk to you about my relationship with him. We’re friends and that’s all. I am not in love with him like I was with your dad. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to replace him with Blake. It’s really important that you understand that. Your daddy will
always
be your daddy, okay. No one can take his place in your heart. Do you understand?”

They both nod at the same time so I continue. “So, you’re okay with us being friends then?” Smiles from both. “And you understand that we are
only
friends.” Still smiling. Good. “I also gather that you’re alright with him coming over sometimes?” I ask this with my own smile because they’re now nodding their heads so hard I’m worried they might fall off. “And I say
sometimes
because he’s not going to be able to come over
every
time you guys want him to. He just spent the weekend with us and I think he deserves a break so we’re not asking him to come over for a while, okay? ”

“Yes
ma’am
!” I grin at both of them as they simultaneously shout their response.

“Alright – well, listen girls, if there’s anything you want to discuss with me about Blake, now or ever, I want you to come and talk to me. You know we don’t keep things from each other in this family. So I want you to always be open and honest with me, okay?”

“Okay,” they both respond as I bring them in close to my body, squeezing them tightly.

“Mom, can I say something?” Nycole asks, suddenly looking very serious.

“Of course, honey.” I release them from my embrace, but leave my arms draped over shoulders.

“I just want to tell you that another reason I really like Blake is because, well…,”she hesitates.

I let go of Kyndall and turn my body to face Nycole. Urging her on, I place my hand on top of hers. “Go on baby, its fine. Tell me.”

“Well, it’s just that you were different when he was here. You smiled and laughed a lot more. And you didn’t seem so sad, that’s all. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you happy like that. Blake makes you happy and that’s why
I
like him.” She makes her statement while focusing only on our joined hands. She then looks up at my face and shrugs her shoulders. “That’s all I wanted to say.”

I squeeze her hand. Wow. I guess I’m not hiding things as well as I thought from them. Harlow’s right. My sadness is affecting them. I never knew.

“Thank you for telling me that, Nycole,” is all I can manage to say. I can feel the moisture beginning to form in the corners of my eyes.

I wrap my arms around her and give her a hug. “I love you, Nycole. Thank you for being honest,” I say, quickly swiping a tear from my cheek.

“You’re welcome, Mom. I didn’t mean to make you sad,” she whispers in my ear.

I release her and look her in the eyes. “It’s not you, baby. I promise. I always want you to be honest with me, okay?”

She nods at me and I give her shoulders a quick squeeze. Turning to Kyndall, I ask, “Is there anything else you would like to say?”

“Um…you’re the best mommy ever? Oh, and Rylie’s
really
annoying. That’s about it.”

I can’t help but break out in laughter. “Kyndall…I don’t know what I would do without you!” I say, giving her a hug too. She giggles and squeezes me back tightly.

“Mama?” she asks while still in my arms.

“Yes?”

“Is it too early to ask Blake to come over tomorrow for breakfast?”

“Kyndall Meyer!” I shout in astonishment. I let go of her and give her my well practiced look of disapproval. She giggles and runs out of the room.

Surprising me more than her request is the fact that I actually consider it for a second. I mean, I know I won’t, but the fact that it even crosses my mind rattles me a little.

Great…It’s official.

We’re
all
Blake-fiends.

Harlow and I quickly fall back into our routine over the next week. She stays over every night, helping me with baths, fixing the girls hair, making dinners and lunches, and of course, driving them to school in the mornings. But by the end of the week, my hand feels a lot better and my fingers start to work normally so I don’t really need help anymore. As much as I enjoy her company, I decide I can be declared officially “Harlow free” by Friday. Plus, that leaves her the weekend to spend as she wishes…aka Trace O’Donnell.

So waking up Saturday morning, with no company for the first time in a week, I was already feeling a little restless. But since Nancy came by to pick up the girls, leaving me completely alone, I’m beginning to feel absolutely stir crazy. While sitting at my kitchen table and drumming my fingers, trying to enjoy “mommy time” as Nancy put it, I’m actually relieved when my phone rings. I pick it up expecting the girls, but when I look at the screen I’m pleasantly surprised.

“What’s up, Blake?” I say with an obvious smile in my voice.

“Not much. I was just calling to see how my favorite girls are holding up. I understand Harlow’s services are no longer needed. I assume your hand is better?” Blake asks in a sexy tone. Man, I’ve missed his voice.

God, I’m
such
a fiend.

I purposely didn’t call him this week even though I fought the temptation every night. I wanted
him
to call. I didn’t want to bother him; I figured he would call when he had time. So, hearing his voice on the other line, I can’t help but feel a
little
bit of satisfaction knowing I wasn’t the first to cave in the calling department.

“Yeah, it’s healing. It still aches a little sometimes, but it’s much better. Thanks for asking.” My heart is racing for some reason. I’ve known this man for an eternity; I don’t know why I’m suddenly so nervous to talk to him. “Hey,” I hesitate before I continue. “Let’s do something. I’m going out of my mind. The girls are with Nancy for the day and I can’t stay in this house any longer. Please, Blake!”

I can hear his sexy chuckle over the phone and my heart flip flops in my chest. Man, I must
really
be going crazy from the fifteen minutes of no social interaction.

“Actually, Alex,” he starts off. “That’s why I was calling. I was hoping to do something with
all
the Meyer girls today. But I guess
you’ll
do.” He finishes with that damn sexy chuckle again and my stomach feels like a thousand butterflies have suddenly taken flight inside it.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Get over here and entertain me, damn it.”

“Will do. I’ll be there in ten. Wear something comfortable,” he adds mysteriously and hangs up.

Jeez
– if this were a real live date I’d be pissed. No wonder he doesn’t date anyone. Ten minutes to get ready.
Seriously?

I jump up out of my seat, catching it before it falls backwards onto the kitchen floor, and make a mad dash to the bedroom. I throw on my yoga pants, the ones that make my ass look good,
not that it matters
, my favorite homemade purple tank top which reads “National Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Support”, and my black blinged out flip flops, because every woman needs a little bling now and then. I brush out my hair and put it in a pony tail, a
hh...how I’ve missed you ponytail
, and throw on my NY Yankees baseball hat. I add a bit of mascara and some lip gloss to my face and poof…I’m done. Giving myself a last appraisal in mirror, I’m satisfied with the outcome of my appearance.

Ha! Take that Blake Morgan with your
ten minute
ready requirement.

Walking into the living room, I hear the rumble of his motorcycle coming up my driveway. I open the door and watch him get off his bike. He removes his sunglasses and shakes out his windblown hair, which of course looks sexy as hell. The ends of his hair turn up around his ears and fall to the collar of his very well fitting v-neck black t-shirt. His blue jeans, frayed at the bottom, just barely drag the ground over his black boots.

Mmmmm-mmmmm.

He turns around to take the keys out of his ignition and my breath hitches as I drop my glance and note (privately of course) that his bottom looks very nice in those jeans. Very nice indeed. Turning around to face me, he gives me a sexy lop-sided grin while he tucks the sunglasses into the front of his shirt so they hang from the “V” and runs his hand through his hair.

I try to swallow, but my throat is really dry…probably because I have been watching him with my mouth wide open. I immediately start to cough.

“You okay, Alex?” he asks with a knowing smile.

“Yeah,” I say, trying to breathe through my coughing attack. “I think I swallowed a gnat.
Gross
. I’m gonna go get some water. Come on in.” I whip around and head into the house as fast as I can so he won’t be able to see that my face has turned a new shade of red.
So embarrassing.

I hear him laugh as he enters the house, which makes me walk even faster, trying to increase the distance between us. I’m actually breathing hard by the time I get to the kitchen. I should
really
start working out more.

I quickly grab a glass of ice water and take a swig, hoping it will help with my face.
Not really sure how that will work…

I set the glass down and turn to see Blake walking into the kitchen. “You sure you’re okay?” he inquires.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

I pop myself up on the counter by the sink and take a seat with my legs dangling over the dishwasher. “What’s the plan, Stan?” I ask him. I really have no idea what we’re doing.

Blake walks right over to me and reaches to grab the water that I just placed on the counter
. Really?
Can the man not get his own freakin’ glass of water?

My body responds to his closeness when he brushes my leg with his. I feel a shock race throughout my entire body and I unintentionally jump. He looks over at me with a hint of a smile. God his eyes really are amazing.

“Well…I was hoping we could take the boat out. Like old times. But if we do, we’re gonna have to use your truck to pull it. I hope you don’t mind. Mom and Dad are still out of town and I can’t pull it with my bike, obviously. Or, we can just find something else to do. Up to you.” He places the glass back down beside me. Another electrical pulse radiates through me when his arm grazes mine. I scoot over a centimeter. He chuckles again under his breath and I hop off the counter.