Rush (Pandemic Sorrow #2) (8 page)

Chapter 13

That ooey-gooey junk seeping from my dick turned out to be chlamydia. Guess it could have been worse, because all I had to do was take a shot in the ass and wait a week before having sex again. Needless to say, I’d gone through a bottle of Jergen’s lotion and now had the softest cock in the US.

Day one of my no sex life was spent in Charleston.

I couldn’t take it, so I told the girls in the fuck-and-suck that I was in a giving mood and just wanted to give them the best orgasm from oral sex ever. After that, I backed out of those little privileged after-show festivities, which shocked the shit out of Jules. I told her I needed time to reflect on my inner self and her jaw dropped open.

By the time my week was up, I was about to explode. I felt like I’d forgotten what sex smelled like, what it tasted like.

We finished up our show and Jules came knocking on the door to get Stone and Pax for the fuck-and-suck.

“Hey, Jules!” I shouted.

She popped her head back in the room.

“My inner reflection has come to a close. I’m ready to go back in.”

She wrinkled her brow. “What?”

“The fuck-and-sucks, I’m ready to give back to the fans again. I’ll be happy to take two.”

All she did was nod and shut the door.

Fuck. I think that disappointed her?
A bit of remorse tore through me.
No! To hell with her. She won’t do anything about this. I’m not gonna stop living just so she can tell me she can’t do anything with me. Fuck that shit!

I walked through the backstage area, stopping to join Pax and Stone outside the door. I could hear Jules going back over that waiver with them.

“Jag’s a puss. Why does he bother with relationship bullshit?” Pax mumbled, his eyes locked on the floor. “He’s gonna fuck it all up if he stays with that girl. She’s a nobody. She’ll get him nowhere.”

Stone waved his hand through the air. “Stop bitching. It’s Jag. Do you think one girl will ever be able to hold his attention? He has fucking ADD when it comes to pussy.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Just let him think he can. Once the international tour rolls around, it’s over. No big damn deal.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, leaning against the wall. “Seemed like the same old Jag the other night at that party. Get Pax to call his girlfriend and apologize, snort a few lines, ignore every single girl groping him, and leave to go back to bed alone, that’s Jag, all right.” A sarcastic snort flew out of my nose as I thought about it.

The door creaked opened and Jules stepped out. “Go on.”

Go on, that’s it? No nasty glares, no condescending comments?

Jules walked down the hall, and Stone and Pax made their way into the room. Squeals immediately erupted from the group of girls waiting.

I held the door open while I turned to take another look at Jules, and then I heard her sniff.
Fuck. She’s crying.

“I’ll…” I looked over the faces of the girls, then mumbled, “I forgot something.” And I let the door go, turning to chase after Jules.

Seconds later Stone opened the door, calling out, “Hey, man. What are you doing?”

“I’m not up to it tonight, dude.”

He laughed. “What? Well, what the hell are we supposed to do with the two chicks you wanted?”

I shrugged, still walking down the hall. “Fuck ‘em for me, would you?”

The clang of the door slamming echoed down the hallway.

“Jules,” I shouted, my voice bouncing from the walls of the slender corridor.

She didn’t stop, just picked up her pace and busted through one of the emergency exits.

I followed her, glancing around in the dark to see which direction she’d gone. She had taken off, jogging across the near-abandoned back lot of the arena.

“Jules!” I shouted again, and ran after her.
What the hell is she doing?

Soon enough I was in front of the arena, which was still littered with loitering fans.

“Stop running from me, damn it!”

My shouting caused one of the girls leaned against the side of a car to turn around. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to make my face out in the dark. As soon as she recognized me, she pulled her t-shirt out to look at the picture of the band plastered on the front. Her finger hovered over my image then she screamed, “Oh, my God! Rush Wilder!”

That was it. A crowd of girls rushed over to me, screaming and giggling, begging me to sign things and take pictures with them.

Fucking shit!

I frantically looked around for security or Jules, but I was on my own and the crowd was growing thicker by second.

Mixed in with the screams, all I heard was:

“Can I get your autograph?”

“Please take a picture with me!”

“I just want to kiss you, can I?”

“I want to make babies with you!”

Then there were a few crying.

I tried to grab each pen, Sharpie, tube of lipstick that was being shoved in my face as I furiously scribbled something on ticket stubs, t-shirts, and asses.

“Jules!” I yelled. “Hey, I could use some help here.”

Flashes from phones and cameras were going off all over the place. Hands were all over me, my ass was being groped, my cock caressed. Fingers were all in my hair, and I think one girl actually yanked a few strands out.

Sweat was forming on my brow as girls crammed around me, screeching at me to sign them, fuck them, and take pictures with them.

Then I heard a high-pitched, banshee-shrill scream.

“Give him some room to breathe! Back the fuck up from the rock star.”

All of a sudden, I saw people being shoved left and right as Jules forced her way through the crowd.

“Back up. Back up.” She stopped and grabbed the girl who was now clinging to me for dear life and bawling. “Honey, you got to let him go now. Let him go.” Jules pried the girl’s hand from my shirt, nodding her head. “It’s okay, just let him go. No one can take that moment from you.”

I let out a breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

She ignored me, dragging me away from the fans and arena.

Once we reached the sidewalk, she released her hold on me.

“That was stupid,” she said.

“Yeah, well, you made me do it. You should’ve just stopped, not made me chase you.”

Her head jerked around and she narrowed her eyes at me. “I never asked you to chase me, Rush. All I’ve ever done is ask you to leave me the hell alone.”

I took that to mean something deeper than her running from me just then.

I shoved my hand in my pocket. “When have I ever done anything you asked me to?”

We walked in silence for several blocks. Then she sniffled again. Tears trickled down her cheeks and she quickly blotted them away.

“Just tell me why you’re crying already, would you?”

She stormed off again. “I seriously can’t do this! When he kills himself, I’m gonna blame myself!”

I chased after her, stopping behind her and grabbing her arm. “Hey—”

She shoved her hand in my face. “Don’t! Just go back to the venue. You’ve got fifty girls that want to let you shove it in their ass.”

We stood, silently glaring at one another, my hand still gripping her arm. “I don’t care.”

She jerked free from me and trotted up the steps. “You, Rush…you...” Every muscle in her face tightened, and her eyes darted down to the ground. “Never mind.”

Just when I was about to prod some more, she said, “I can’t keep doing this. I feel guilty.”

I swallowed, afraid to ask her, but I did anyway. “About what?”

She still refused to look at me. Sighing, she mumbled. “Everything.” Her eyes met mine. “You. Jag…I can’t keep ignoring he’s got a problem, and I can’t keep…”

She fell silent for a few minutes, and I had no idea what to say. She was breaking. I was breaking her, Jag was breaking her, James was breaking her.

Jules shook her head like she was trying to clear her mind of something. “What are you gonna do now?” she sniffled. “Just go back up to your room?”

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“What about those two girls you had? You just broke their little hearts.”

“I’m sure Stone and Pax will take care of them. What’s better than a group orgy with two rockers?”

She shook her head. “God, people are sick as hell.”

We walked into the vacant lobby.

“Shit, when did Jersey become such a drag? It’s only”—I glanced down at my watch—“midnight.”

“Yeah, and it’s a fucking Wednesday. No one else here puts on shows for a living. This is well past bedtime for most people.” Jules furiously slammed her fist over the elevator button.

“Why in the hell did you get us rooms in this shitty place anyway?”

She let out an agitated groan and yanked her hair. “Don’t ask me why, I was just told you guys needed another night in a real bed.”

The elevator door creaked open and we stepped in.

Peering in, I muttered, “This place is fucking creepy. It seems like a place you’d come to die.”

Jules glared at me, hatred flaming in her eyes before she stomped onto the elevator. “What, a badass like you, afraid of ghosts? And don’t even try to follow that up with some stupid remark like you could talk a damn poltergeist into sucking your dick!” Her shoulder slammed into the side of the rickety elevator and she laughed.

I didn’t even respond to that dumbass comment. I don’t care what the hell she said, she hated the fact that I was constantly fucking other girls. She could act like she hated me all she wanted, but I felt it—I felt that she wanted more. Jealousy is a hard emotion to hide, even under anger.

She risked her damn job by screwing around with me. Jules had her shit too together for it to have been just a fling. And I wasn’t a fucking dumbass, either. I’d wanted it to be more. I’d needed it to be more. I’d tried to make it more, and she denied me. She took two weeks off after I’d slept with her, and had it just been sex that wouldn’t have been necessary. There were feelings there that had been festering for fucking years.

The moment I met her, I’d felt weak. She wasn’t a girly girl, and I liked that. She was mean as hell, but she had this grace about her that was damn near ungodly. She didn’t take shit from anyone, but she took shit from me. Besides the fact that she could have ended up unemployed, Jules knew that I could hurt her, she knew I was an absolute whore. More importantly, she knew the business, possibly better than I did. She knew relationships never lasted in this industry. And if they did, it was out of stubbornness, or the fact that the relationship was open. Monogamy would pretty much kill a rock star. And she knew it.

Not only that, but James had warned each of us to not get wrapped up in a woman. When Jag first started fucking with River, James pitched a fit—until he realized how unstable their relationship was and how much attention that kind of on-and-off-again, drama-laced fuckfest brought Jag, hence bringing more attention to the band and James a fatter check.

Jules knew that she had no place with me for several reasons, but I didn’t give a flying fuck. No woman had a place with me. I made my place, and I was about to stake my claim to this one for good.

I raked my teeth over my lip and locked my eyes on her in a primitive stare.

She looked up from the floor, her lips pursing before she groaned, “What the hell do you keep looking at me like that for?”

Slowly, I took a few steps toward her, then slammed my hand over the “stop elevator” button. Immediately, the elevator slowed and jolted to a stop, the rusty cables screeching from the sudden friction.

Jules’ eyes pulsed open and her nostrils flared. She narrowed her eyes at me as she drew in a deep, angry breath.

I felt one side of my mouth flip up as I tilted my head. “I look at you like this a lot.” One step toward her. “You just don’t always see it.” Then another step.

Her chest rose in ragged draws.

One more step, and I felt her warm breath blow against my neck. “You know why?” I asked as I placed my hand on the slick wall above her head.

She stared up at me, her green eyes boring through me. “I can only imagine,” she huffed.

I laughed and wet my lips with my tongue, the metal bar clicking against my enamel. “No, sweetheart, I don’t think you could if you tried.”

Before she had a chance to protest, I slammed my mouth over hers. The soft feel of her lips burned through me and my hands hastily found their way from the wall to the back of her neck, scratching up into her short hair.

She pulled back from me, her body knocking against the wood paneling, but I wouldn’t let her go. I pried her mouth open with my tongue. I wasn’t taking no for an answer this time. I was going to make her unable to deny this. Forcing my hips against hers, I yanked her face closer to mine—and in that moment I won; her entire body went limp.

Her hands flew up to my head, grabbing my hair and lacing it between her fingers and balling it up. Her head tilted to the side to allow my tongue deeper into her mouth, and I crushed against her, a deep growl forcing its way up my throat and into hers.