Authors: J.J. Ellis
“Russell, how is she? How
long did you say she was like this?”
“Over an hour now Ma.
I just don’t know what else to do. She said she hates me and Emily and
won’t say another word.”
“Let me try to talk to her
Russell, go down stairs and order some Chinese food from Dragon Garden, and
hopefully I will have her down stairs by the time the food gets here.”
“I don’t know Ma, don’t you
think I should stay here? I am her father.” Russell could not imagine what he
had done to make Miranda hate him so much. When he’d left her at her
classroom that morning she’d actually given him a hug goodbye.
“You seem to be the one
causing her frustration, Russell. Just let me see what I can do. Please.”
“Okay Ma,” he sighed in
resignation. “But I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” And then he walked slowly
down to the first floor trying to figure out what was going on. She was
prone to mood swings granted, but there was always a clear cut reason, even if
it wasn’t a good reason.
On automatic pilot, he
ordered all of her favorite Chinese foods from the local restaurant and settled
himself at the bottom of the stairs to wait for news from his mom. About five
minutes later he got the answer to his questions and they scared him to death.
“I guess a kid from her
class overheard your blow up with Emily Zane this morning and told her about
it. She’s sad that she can’t see Emily anymore and she’s mad at both of
you for fighting.” Evelyn informed him. “Russell, I’m worried. Has she ever
gone through episodes of depression or anxiety before?”
“What, you mean like Ben
used to have?” Russell was puzzled, he didn’t know what his mom was trying to
get at.
“Yeah, exactly like your
late brother,” she choked out.
His first instinct was to
say hell no, but he took the time to stop and think. He’d jumped to too many
conclusions already today. “Well, yeah, I guess so Ma. I mean, never as
severe as Ben, but yeah, she does get depressed. Especially about how
mean kids are to her, you know, and about not having friends and stuff like
that.” He put his fingers to his temple and rubbed. He wasn’t sure if he
wanted to know the answer to his next question or not. “Why do you ask, Ma?
“Well sweetie, I think she’s
suffering from depression and anxiety too. She is just sitting there rocking
back and forth, crying and saying that everyone would be better off if she
lived somewhere else. If I were you I would call Emily and ask her advice. I’ve
never seen my granddaughter like this before.”
“Yeah good idea Ma. I’m
going to go call Emily now. Here’s my wallet, the delivery guy should be here
soon. See if you can convince Miranda to eat.”
Russell decided to try the
school first not thinking about what time it was. But the phone just rang and
rang. He tried Emily’s cell phone but didn’t get an answer there either.
Finally he looked in his mom’s address book and found her home number.
She picked up obviously out of breath. “Hello?”
“Emily,
it’s
Russell. Listen, I know I have a lot to apologize for, but that is going
to have to wait. Something is up with Miranda and it is really scaring
us.” His words came out in a rush.
“Okay Russell, slow down and
tell me what’s going on.” Emily was concerned but kept her professional cool
until she knew all the details.
Russell told her the story
of what had happened thus far and ended with his concerns about his daughter
being depressed, especially the part where she’d said she wished she wasn’t a
burden to them.
“Okay, you know she’s not
going to believe anything either of us has to say until she
calms
herself down and is ready to listen. We could tell her that we are still friends
and that she can still see me until we are blue in the face and she isn’t going
to believe us until she snaps out of this episode. It is a classic
Asperger trait.”
“I know, Emily. I’ve
been doing a lot of research today and, well, I believe you’re right about
Miranda. I’m so sorry I went off on you like that. I feel like such
an idiot for not listening to you. I just didn’t want to admit that my
baby had an incurable problem.”
“It’s okay Russell, you
aren’t the first upset parent I’ve dealt with. It’s all water under the
bridge. Let’s concentrate on Miranda now.”
“Thank you so much, he
whispered. “I take it you’re willing to help us then?”
“Of course I’m going to help
her, and you too. First thing is first, we need to snap her out of her episode,
but sometimes that isn’t that easy. Wait a second, you have horses on the
property!”
“Yeah, a few. Why?”
Russell couldn’t imagine what on earth horses would have to do with snapping
Miranda out of her episode.
“Well, sometimes animals do
wonderful things with autistic children. But I think it’s too dark to
take her out to the horses right now. Does anyone who lives here on the ranch
have a puppy or other small pet?”
“I just don’t know Emily. I…
wait, my brother has a puppy that he keeps wanting to introduce to Miranda.”
“Good, call him and get him
over there right away. The sooner the better. We don’t want her anxiety getting
out of hand. We need to snap her out of the episode as soon as possible
so we can explain to her what really happened.”
“Thanks Emily. Could you
please come over here and help us? I’m not sure what to do with the pup
when she gets here.”
Emily laughed. “Of course,
I’ll be right there. My car died pulling into the driveway, but I can
walk over. Be there in a few.” She didn’t even say goodbye, she just hung up
and headed straight to the main house.
Russell hung up the phone
and called his brother who promised he would be over within ten minutes with
Rizzy in tow.
Twenty minutes later
everyone was assembled in the living room and the plan was put into
action. Evelyn would take Rizzy upstairs to Miranda and let the puppy go
in the doorway and see what happened. Emily, Russell and Dylan would wait in
the hallway. Evelyn counted to three and opened the door, setting Rizzy on the
floor. The puppy headed straight to the little girl who now was laying silently
on the floor. The puppy stopped about six inches from her and
whimpered. She then crawled over to Miranda and rested her sweet little
Rottweiler head on the girl’s side. Everyone was watching from the
doorway when Miranda came to life again. She sat up, grabbed the pup and
hugged her until she squirmed. Then she looked up at the group in the
doorway and smiled.
Now Emily had her opening to
talk to Miranda about what had happened at school that day. She and Russell
worked together to make sure that she knew that she could still see Emily and
that Russell had just been angry when he said she couldn’t. Emily made sure to
emphasize that even if she couldn’t always be Miranda’s counselor, that she
would always be her friend. By six o’clock, the whole group was down at the
dinner table eating warmed up Chinese food. Even Rizzy was there, asleep at
Miranda’s feet.
“Hey Dylan, what would I
have to do to get you to let Rizzy stay here with us for a while?” Russell
would have to find a puppy for Miranda to own and take care of. It seemed that
animal therapy was going to be one thing that would help his daughter.
“Well big brother, my
intention had always been to get your beautiful daughter to fall madly in love
with Rizzy and want to keep her. I’m away from home way too much to take
good care of her.” For once, Dylan Harper actually looked embarrassed. Miranda
on the other hand looked joyous
“Can we keep her Daddy? Can
we please?” she squealed, bouncing in her seat.
Russell and Evelyn answered
at the same time. “Yes! Of course Rizzy can stay.” Miranda jumped up from her
seat and crawled under the table to play with the sleepy pup. She was oblivious
to the adults moving to the family room. It took Russell several tries to coax
the two out from under the table.
Russell oversaw his
daughter’s bath and bedtime story while the other adults enjoyed coffee and
dessert in the family room. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened that
day. Except now Rizzy had become a member of their family.
“Daddy, you should go take
Miss Emily home now.”
“
It’s
okay honey, I want to make sure you are okay.”
“I’m fine Daddy. I was
sad and I’m okay now. Go take Miss Emily home and you can stay if you
want.” Russell’s heart stopped for a beat. Did his Ma tell Miranda to say stuff
like that? “You know, visit with her for a while. I’ve got Rizzy
and Grandma here. Grandma’s right Daddy, you need to spend more time with
people your own age.”
“Well, well aren’t you such
a grown up girl now!” Russell smiled. He kissed his daughter on the forehead
“Okay sweetheart I’ll take Miss Emily home. Meanwhile, you and Rizzy need to
get some sleep.”
“We will Daddy. You know,
I’m
kinda
glad we think we know why I’m so different
from other kids now. It just feels better knowing that there’s a reason.
And Miss Emily said there are things we can do to make life easier for
me. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Daddy!”
“And that makes me happy
too, my dear sweet daughter. Good night pumpkin. Goodnight Rizzy.”
“Night Daddy,” she said with
a yawn. Both Miranda and her new puppy were sound asleep before Russell reached
the end of the hallway.
“Emily I’ll take you home.
It’s really dark out there,” Russell offered, walking into the family room
smiling.
“Nah. I’ll take her home
bro,” Dylan said with a twinkle in his eyes that was definitely predatory.
Russell knew that look all too well and suddenly felt protective of Emily.
“No!” he nearly growled at
his brother. He felt as if he wanted to pounce on Dylan for even thinking about
Emily that way. What was wrong with him? Emily Zane’s sex life should not have
been an issue. “You. Will. Not. Dylan,” he ground out. He was pleased to see
his brother back up a step
“I’m sorry, we really do
need to talk about Miranda,” Emily mumbled looking away. She blushed, and
grabbed his sleeve, pulling him after her.
Russell chuckled as he tried
not to trip behind her. “Whoa! Slow down Em, if I run I’ll be dragging
you
.”
Emily didn’t listen, she just quickened to a near run before stopping dead in
front of Russell’s SUV.
“Sorry, but I know your
brother’s reputation,” she stated with a shudder.
“Wow!” Russell grinned at
her. “A female who can resist him.” Emily Zane must be some kind of
angel, an angel sent to torture him. “Dylan started young and never stopped,”
he sighed. “I mean he charmed himself into his fourteen-year-old girlfriend’s
pants and has never looked back. God, I for one will forever be scarred by
him.”
Emily looked at him
curiously with her cool green eyes. “What do you mean scarred?”
“I walked in on them,” he
chuckled. “It completely freaked me out at the time. Hell, I thought I would go
blind, or at least I wanted to for the longest time.” Russell shook his head as
if trying to clear it. “I saw that vision in my head for weeks. The
decision to go into the cabin without knocking was the biggest… correction, the
second
biggest mistake of my life.”
Emily laughed. “Wow, I
can see why you were scarred.” Her look suddenly turned serious. “What’s
your biggest mistake Russell?” With every minute, Emily was more and more
interested in this intriguing man. If he thought walking in on his brother having
sex was the second biggest mistake of his life, she couldn’t wait to hear what
the biggest was.
“I’ll tell you when we get
to your house,” he said opening the car door for her. Russell was plotting a
scene out in his head as he winked at her. He was going to do something that he
would probably regret for the rest of his life. But because of how Emily had
dealt with Miranda, he had a newfound appreciation for the woman sitting next
to him. She was brilliant and sexy and beautiful. And he had been completely
alone for too long. He craved her company, he needed her closeness, just
for a little while.
“
Pleeeeease
tell me,” Emily begged, batting her eyelashes.
“I think I like it when you beg,” he
confessed, a slight smirk crossing his face. Damn she was sexy when she begged.
Oh how he desperately wished it was for something other than information.
**********
Russell pulled up to the cottage and
turned the engine off. “May I walk you in?”
“I’d like that,” Emily said softly as
she reached for the door handle. Harper boys were always gentlemen and it was
nice to see he hadn’t lost that quality to the city.
“Whoa, hold on a minute,” he said,
rushing out of the vehicle and over to the passenger side. He opened the door
and held his hand out to her.
“Thank you,” she murmured with a smile.
She expected him to let go of her hand as soon as she was out of the seat, but
he didn’t. The feeling of his large warm hand enveloping her small one felt
good. It felt right. “I appreciate the ride.”
“It was my pleasure,” he returned softly
as he opened the picket gate for her.
Emily stepped through and turned to him.
“We’re at my house, you can tell me what that biggest mistake was.”
Russell raised an eyebrow at her. “You
remembered.”
“Yeah. I have a very good memory,” she
said with a sly grin. “So spill it.”
“Invite me in and I’ll tell you,” he
returned with his own sly grin.”
Emily tugged his hand, pulling him up
the walkway. She pulled the key out of her pocket and unlocked the door. As
soon as he stepped through, Russell spun Emily around and planted a kiss on her
irresistible pouty lips. At first she welcomed the intrusion, but after a
moment she pulled away. “I know what you’re doing, Russell. Tell me your
biggest mistake then we can kiss all you want.”
He sighed and looked into her eyes.
Immediately he knew she wouldn’t budge on the idea. “Okay, let’s sit and I’ll
tell you. But please save all of your judgments until I’m done talking.”
“Of course,” she murmured, pulling him
over to the couch. It must be something big. Something much worse than walking
in on his brother.
They sat next to each other, Emily a bit
forward on the cushion and turned toward him. Their knees touched. “Go ahead,”
she encouraged.
Russell sighed then began. “I love
Miranda with all of my heart, but…” He took a deep breath and released it
slowly. “I wish I had never married Vivienne. She was so wrong for me. I guess
I always knew that but she represented everything I, and my roots, weren’t. She
represented the kind of life I thought I wanted.”
Emily smiled and grabbed his hand. “It
makes sense. I think a lot of us fall in love with ideas of what we want and
not the actual person.”
Russell nodded his agreement. “I still
feel guilty though, because if I hadn’t married her, my little girl wouldn’t
exist.”
“Technically that’s not true,” she
informed him. “You still could have conceived Miranda without being married to
her mother.”
Russell laughed. “You are so right. We
moved the wedding up by four months because she was pregnant. I guess my
biggest mistake of marrying her is accurate. It has nothing to do with
Miranda.”
“Exactly. There is no reason to feel
guilty. Just because you hate your ex, doesn’t mean you feel the same about the
child she gave you.” Her hand reached up to touch his cheek.
His gaze moved up and their eyes met.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he growled.
“What? This?” she asked, reaching up to
touch his face with her other hand.
“Yeah,” he breathed. “That.” Their lips
met in an all-consuming desperate kiss.
Russell’s hands found their way to
Emily, slowly trailing up and down her sides. Shivers raced through her taut
body, and a deep moan escaped her lips as they broke apart. “You like that, I
take it?”
“You could say that,” she replied with a
smile. Pulling back slightly, she lifted her blouse up and over her head,
exposing her perfect bare breasts. She was obviously excited as evidenced by
the perfect rosy tips.
Russell leaned forward and took a nipple
into his mouth. Biting gently, he ran his tongue across the tip, causing her to
gasp and wind her hands in his hair. His hand worked its way to her other
breast and cupped it, allowing his thumb to run circles across her sensitive
flesh. He heard her gasp in pleasure, again.
Emily whimpered when Russell moved away
to rest his hands at her waistband. She felt her hips lifted as he tugged her
shorts off, exposing her feminine body to his gaze.
“Beautiful, perfect and so…” he breathed
as his mouth lowered to her. Emily called out in pleasure as his tongue began
to trace a pattern upward, trying to find the piece of swollen flesh he craved.
Her hips raised to him, and taking her
cue he began to tease and nibble, quickly driving her over the edge as her body
was wracked with spasms. “I haven’t felt that good in forever,” Emily whimpered
as he pulled back. “After what happened. I never thought…”
“
Shh
, now is
not the time to think about that,” Russell murmured as he pulled off his shirt
and undid his belt. “Now is only about us.”
Emily smiled as he came fully into view.
His well-developed muscles glistened with sweat. As her eyes wandered down and
she took in the sight, she couldn’t help but think she should have gone after
him
all those years ago. Before she could do or say anything, he was next to her,
kissing her again, positioning himself between her thighs. Her hips thrust
upwards as he began to ease inside of her. Her body took him deeply, causing a
moan to escape.
What started off as slow, even pressure,
quickly
turned into frantic movements that brought
Emily close to the edge once again. Within moments, she felt herself falling as
her body clenched tightly. “God! Yes!”
Russell felt every spasm, every shudder
as she came apart. He wanted this to last, to give her more pleasure than she
could imagine, but it had been so long that his own sensations were too strong
to ignore and his own climax exploded just after hers.
He moved onto his side and wrapped her
in his arms in one quick movement. “God, I’m sorry Em. I didn’t mean for that to
happen. I planned on coming in here to ask you on a date because I’ve been
alone for so long now, and I want to spend time with someone who makes me happy
and…”
“
Shh
,” Emily
whispered “Don’t apologize, I had a say in what happened too. Truthfully I’m glad
we did this.”
“You are?” he asked as his hand caressed
her hip.
“Yes. You know, Chuck wasn’t the only
one I had a crush on in school.”
Russell took a deep breath and looked
into her eyes. “So, you’re telling me you had a crush on me?”
“For all of senior year,” she admitted
looking away. “And maybe before that even. I noticed you first, but then Chuck
was always teasing me so…”
Russell chuckled softly and shifted
Emily to lie on top of him. “I thought for sure you two would end up together.”
Emily lifted her head up off of his
chest. “He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” he asked curiously.
Em let out the breath she was holding
and clamored up to a sitting position. She pulled Russell up to sit next to
her. “Did you ever wonder why, in senior year, I didn’t try to hang around you
guys?”
He shrugged. “I just figured you grew up
that summer when you stayed with your grandmother.”
“No,” she said softly. “I was trying to
heal a broken heart that summer. All of the chasing had finally paid off. I
caught Chuck.” She sat silent for a few minutes trying to quell the anger she
still sometimes felt when she thought back on the end of junior year.
Russell sat and watched her. The
emotions she was feeling were apparent on her face. “It was you,” he whispered.
“The girl Chuck bragged about screwing then leaving stranded. We always thought
he was just talking and being a dumb ass.”
Emily took a deep, steadying breath and
looked over at the man she’d just had sex with. “We went to the old campground
just outside of town. I willingly gave him my virginity on a blanket on the
ground. When we were done, he snatched my clothes and took off. I walked
home at eleven p.m., wrapped in a scratchy old blanket. God! I was so stupid to
think he actually liked me.”
“He was the stupid one,” Russell ground
out. “If our group had known, he wouldn’t have gotten away with it.”
She reached over and grabbed his hand.
“I went to my grandma’s in Casper for the summer and when I came home, I was a
totally different person. I was stronger but more wary. That’s when I decided I
was going to Seattle for good.”
“And now you’re back here. Don’t the
memories haunt you?”
“No,” she said shaking her head
emphatically. “That was nothing compared what happened to…in Seattle.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured as he raised
her chin so he could look into her eyes. His lips inched toward her, settling
gently on them. The sweet gentle kiss quickly turned deep and passionate.
“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked breathlessly.
“Over there,” she returned, pointing
down the hall. “I’ll grab our clothes and meet you there.”