Sacrifice (14 page)

***

Half an hour later, I was standing next to the sink in the dark of Val’s oversized gourmet kitchen, nursing a vodka and orange juice in my trembling hands. I lifted my drink to my lips and took a long sip. The vodka burned as it eased its way down my throat. My body felt bruised and battered. I had hoped the alcohol would help to calm my frazzled nerves before I had to confront Dallas, but the drink in my hand was doing little to help ease my shaking. I was considering mixing another when the lights flashed on around me. I turned to find Dallas standing in the kitchen doorway.

“
Aren’t you coming to bed?” Dallas inquired.

He was naked from the waist up and dressed in a pair of blue cotton pajama bottoms. His long arms were crossed over his muscular chest as he leaned against the doorway.

I gave him a reassuring smile. “I just needed a drink.”

Dallas eyed me skeptically. “Why?” He came into the room and walked over to my side. “It couldn’t have been that bad dealing with Caston? Did Simon say something to you after you two left the party?”

I stared up into his dark blue eyes and felt a pang of guilt race through me. I nodded slightly. “He suggested I sleep with Caston to get him to talk. He even told me I would enjoy it. That’s why I decided to walk home from the party. I couldn’t stomach getting into a car with Simon.” I put my drink down on the counter next to me.

“
I told you I didn’t think your involvement with Simon was a good idea. He’s a ruthless bastard who loves to push people. I wish for once you would listen to me, Nicci. I don’t think you should continue with this assignment anymore.” He placed his arms about me and tenderly kissed my cheek.

I pulled away from him. “You don’t think I can do this?”

Dallas pulled my body back to his. “No, quite the opposite. I was watching you with Caston tonight. The way you manipulated him. I liked it. Seeing you wearing that dress and working with Simon did something to me.” He leaned over and grazed his teeth along the nape of my neck. “But I don’t want you getting in too deep,” he said against my flesh.

“
I can handle myself.”

He kissed my neck. “I don’t like it when you’re upset, Nicci. I only want to see you happy.”

I laughed. “Happy? What an elusive word. I never realized until now how unattainable happiness can be.”

Dallas nuzzled my cheek. “What are you talking about? We’re happy, aren’t we?”

I pulled away once more and looked into his face. Suddenly afraid to say what I was thinking, I cast my eyes to the floor. I recalled something David had once said to me. “Happiness changes with the setting of the sun. It’s an achievement to strive for but it can never be maintained. It all depends on the moment…and the person,” I finally answered.

He placed his hand beneath my chin and lifted my face to meet his. “That sounds like something from one of your books. Happiness is a constant, Nicci. Sometimes it comes easily; sometimes you have to work for it. But as long as you are willing to embrace it, happiness will find you. Just as it has found us.”

His hand traveled down from my chin to my neck and along my right shoulder. His long fingers followed the curve of my black dress until they came to rest over my right breast. He cupped my breast and pressed his hips into mine.

“
Somehow I get the impression you’re confusing happiness with passion,” I mumbled.

Dallas grinned. “Am I?”

He leaned over and hungrily kissed my lips. At first I was uncertain how to react to his ardor but then something inside of me gave way. Not that my thoughts had ventured far from David, but there was still something about Dallas that tugged at my heart. I wanted desperately to recapture what we had shared over the past few months. As I reached up and felt the thick muscles in his chest, his arms tightened around me.

He caressed my cheek with tender kisses until he reached my earlobe. “Come to bed, Nicci,” he begged in his husky voice.

“
Yes, Dallas,” I whispered.

He took my hand and led me out the kitchen, stopping only once along the way to turn out the lights. As we headed down the hallway to the back stairs, he teased the flesh on my neck with kisses. When we made our way into the darkness of our bedroom, my mind began to fill with doubt. David was alive, and here I was about to give myself to another man. But this was Dallas, I reasoned, a person who had been there for me through the worst of times. He had protected me and he loved me. And as his hands eased the heavy material of my gown from around my body, I felt my reluctance fade. All I wanted was to revel in the pleasure of his touch. To no longer think or worry about what was yet to come and still my world-weary mind until the revealing light of dawn chased away the comforting darkness.

Chapter
Ten

The next morning, I was sitting at the kitchen breakfast table by the large picture window looking out over the courtyard. As I sipped from my mug of coffee, made on Val’s fancy imported coffee machine, my eyes kept wandering from the clock on the stainless steel microwave to the scenery outside of the window.

“
Where are you off to so early?” Dallas asked when he entered the kitchen. He motioned to the casual slacks and button down dress shirt I had on. “You look nice,” he added.

I tried to nonchalantly stroke my hand through my fastidiously coiffed hair and hide my meticulously made up face from his piecing gaze. “Just going to run some errands,” I lied.

“
Where to the country club? You’re made up like you’re going on a photo shoot.” He walked over to the table and sat down across from me. His dark blue eyes examined my face. “What is it, Nicci?” he questioned in a firm voice.

I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks. “I’m just in a pretty good mood after last night. I guess I got a little carried away this morning.”

Dallas scowled as he leaned in closer to me. “After last night? I was there, Nicci, and I got the distinct impression, when I was making love to you, that your head was somewhere else.”

I stood from the table, frowning at him. “You make it sound like I was just lying there and moaning on cue.”

He raised his dark brows. “Were you?”

I shook my head and walked to the kitchen door. “Why are you always grilling me for ulterior motives?”

“
Maybe it’s the ulterior motives I’m worried about. Nothing is black and white with you. Every time you smile at me, laugh with me, or just look off into the distance, I can’t help but wonder what you’re thinking about,” he called out behind me.

I stopped at the doorway but did not turn around to confront him. “Or more to the point, you’re wondering who I’m thinking about. Is that it, Dallas?”

He said nothing. The silence in the room filled the void growing between us.

“
Just be back in hour. We have a lot of ground to cover before your next meeting with Caston,” he instructed.

I made my way out of the kitchen door. “I’ll call you if I’m going to be longer,” I said over my shoulder.

I could almost hear him smirking behind me. “Make sure your cell phone is on this time, Nicci. Don’t make me come looking for you.”

***

The Corner Café was located on the St. Anne and Royal Streets in the heart of the French Quarter. As I approached the little coffee shop, I felt my feet moving faster toward the entrance. Before I opened the old metal door to the establishment, I checked my reflection in the front window. The make-up I had so carefully applied looked thick and pasty on my creamy skin. My long auburn hair seemed too styled and negated the casual appearance I was so desperately trying to portray. I quickly reached up and rubbed my hands along my cheeks, wiping away the excess powder from my face. I tamed my auburn hair back behind my ears in an attempt to calm the curls I had styled into it earlier that morning. With a final nod of approval at my reflection, I opened the heavy metal door and stepped inside.

The coffee shop was filled with a small number of customers and waitresses dressed in bright blue aprons. Less than half of the well-worn, dark wooden tables were filled.

I nervously scanned the room to see clients sipping coffee or munching on the variety of pastries the place had to offer, but I saw no sign of David.

“
Glad to see you beat me here,” a deep voice said behind me.

I jumped and turned to find David standing behind me. When I saw his face in the light of day, the damage seemed even more pronounced than the night before. The scar appeared deeper and longer. His jaw line seemed even more disproportionate in the bright light and I noticed a sprinkling of gray in his brown hair. He looked older and leaner than the David I once knew, but his eyes still held their fiery glow.

He eagerly explored my figure for quite a few seconds. “God, you look good, Nicci.”

I could feel my insides melt as his eyes took in my body. I inwardly berated my weakness for the man. Not even back in my life for a day and he was already breaking through my defenses.

David took a deep breath and then grabbed my hand. He began escorting me across the dirty, yellow tiled floor to some tables far away from the windows on the opposite wall. “Come on, I’m starving,” he mumbled over his shoulder.

“
You were always starving as I recall.” I caught sight of my hand in his. I still felt as if I were dreaming. But when he squeezed my hand as we approached a table in the corner of the room, I knew that this was no dream.

He held a chair out for me and I took my seat. I stared at the tabletop before me where past patrons had carved their initials. So many emotions were jumbled up inside of me, vying for distinction, that to keep from coming completely unhinged, I had to continue to focus on the table before me. I wondered if the dreams I had nurtured over the past three years would live up to the reality of the man seated across from me. My uncle’s words came back to me, and I thought perhaps he had been right. Maybe I had built David into something larger than life. An image no man could live up to.

A round woman with silky gray hair and a broad smile strolled up to our table.

“
What’ll ya’ll have?” she asked in a heavy southern drawl.

“
Coffee, black for the lady,” David began. “I will have tea with milk, no sugar, and a sweet roll.”

“
Better bring him two sweet rolls,” I advised. “He always orders one, but eats two.”

The waitress jotted down our order on her pad. “Be back in just a minute,” she said with a smile and turned away.

David looked over at me and grinned. “You remembered.”

I shrugged. “Of course. How could I forget the first time we came here?”

David zeroed his gray eyes on mine. “I don’t know. In my experience, when a woman finds another man to replace the love she left behind, memories tend to get muddy. You forget what you had with one man so you can remember what you have with another.”

“
That’s not fair, David. I thought you were dead. And what else did you expect me to do? Spend the rest of my life mourning you and become some kind of nun?”

“
Of course not, but Dallas? I can’t believe you ended up with him. Of all the men on the planet, you go after my friend or ex-friend now.”

“
I didn’t go after him! I never knew he existed until Simon shoved us together to find out who killed you.”

“
I know that. But you were only supposed to be his cover when you two went after Michael. I never expected you would turn into his fiancée. How many men do you plan on being engaged to, Nicci?”

I threw my hands up. “I’m not engaged to Dallas! He wants to marry me…wait.” I stared at him. “How did you know about our cover?”

He turned away from me and gazed about the small coffee shop. “I was against Simon putting the two of you together from the start.”

I anxiously moved in closer to the table. “What do you mean you were against Simon putting us together? You knew about us? Have you gone back to Simon? Is that where you have been all this time?”

He looked at me as he folded his arms across his chest. “All right, let’s clear the air. Before I tell you where I have been and what I have been doing for the past three years, let’s find out if this…” He motioned across the table to me. “If we are salvageable. I don’t see the point of telling you everything if you’re going to run back to Dallas and reveal all my secrets.”

My mouth fell open. “Have you forgotten what we had? How we felt about each other? You owe me a Goddamn explanation, David.”

He frowned as he sat back in his chair and glared at me. “Just tell me one thing. Do you love him?”

I sighed and sat back in my chair. “I’m not in love with Dallas,” I confessed. “I’ve never had the depth of feeling for him that I had for you. Is that what you needed to hear?”

David grinned, slightly. “Not exactly, but it’s a start.”

“
What did you want? A string quartet playing in the background as I threw myself at your feet?”

He leaned in closer to me, smirking. “I’m glad to see you’re still ripping people to shreds with that sharp tongue of yours.”

I leaned toward him, scowling. “What did you expect, David? You show up after three years without a single word and want me to act like nothing has happened. Now tell me where you have been,” I angrily demanded.