Sacrifice: The Queen's Blade (17 page)

"I can't even enjoy what remains of my life! I have lost my freedom!" he raged, picking up an alabaster flower bowl and hurling it at the wall. "The only thing I valued more than my pride! I put myself in this gilded cage! I walked in and said 'lock me up'! I gave up my freedom for wealth and honours I did not need! How could I have been so stupid?"

An alarmed Arken stuck his head in, and Blade flung a gold candleholder at him, which bounced off the door with a clatter as Arken ducked out again.

"Get out!" Blade bellowed. "I cannot even raise my voice without damned servants spying on me! Go tell the Queen, why don't you? I hate this place!" He grabbed the velvet curtains and tore them from their hooks, then scooped up a beautifully woven rug and hurled it out of the open window. "I cannot breathe here!" He went to the window and leant on the ledge, gasping the fresh spring air. "I cannot breathe."

His voice dropped to a mutter, and Chiana moved closer as he went on, "I'm trapped by my own stupidity, crippled by a Cotti spy's revenge. I cannot even dance anymore. I have lost because I came here, not gained. And if, on top of all else, my stupidity merely costs me my life, I shall be surprised. If Kerrion takes me alive, he will inflict every torture he knows upon me, and I am no lover of pain."

Chiana stopped behind him, unshed tears stinging her eyes. "You are afraid..."

Blade swung to face her, his brows knotted. "Yes, I am afraid! Only a bloody fool would not be! My torture will be simple revenge. Nothing I can say or do will stop it until death takes me, and that it has ever been reluctant to do. Would you not be afraid also?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course, I understand -"

"You understand nothing! You have never known pain. How can you be afraid of it? Even the Queen knows more about it than you ever will. I have seen how the Cotti torture men, cutting out their entrails so that they may look upon their insides, flaying the skin from their bodies little by little, or impaling them on sharpened poles."

He turned away to stare out of the window again, watching a puzzled gardener retrieve the carpet. "And yet I have no one to blame but myself. I allowed myself to become a public figure. I allowed Kerrion to live and tell the Cotti who had slain their King. I even admitted it to them myself! With every act I sank deeper into this mire of damnation."

"You could not know that Jashimari would fall."

"I changed the future. My actions have led to this. Had I not killed King Shandor, Lerton would not have conspired with the upstart Prince to slay King Jan-Durval and the Contara would not have attacked us. Do you know why Jashimari Queens were forbidden to consult seers?"

Chiana shook her head.

"Because when you change the future, you open the door to terrible things. Seers foretell, they say things like 'when a child who is neither Jashimari nor Cotti sits upon the Jashimari throne, there will be peace'. And then you know what happens. The Queen starts to plot towards that future, she assassinates Shandor and bears Kerrion's child, and Lerton unleashes the Contara upon us, bringing about our doom. But I am the instrument of change. Without me none of this would be happening, and it seems the fate of the instrument is the most terrible of all."

Chiana glanced around as the door was thrust open, and Queen Minna-Satu entered, casting a gimlet eye over the wreckage. "What is the meaning of this?"

Blade groaned, "God, is there no privacy in this place?"

Chiana bowed, becoming somewhat alarmed when Blade did not turn from the window. She went over to Minna-Satu. "Please, My Queen, I will explain later. If we could be alone...?"

Minna's brows shot up. "You are asking me to leave?"

Chiana fell to her knees. "I beg forgiveness for my rudeness, My Queen, please -"

"Get up."

Blade swung around and strode over to her. "Yes, get up! My wife does not kneel!" He gripped her hair and dragged her to her feet, making her gasp at his brutality.

Minna glared at him. "I see that you are in a singularly vile mood, Lord Conash. What is the meaning of all this?"

He shoved Chiana aside. "Vile does not begin to adequately describe my mood."

"So it would seem. I still await an answer."

"Do you? I hear you've been singing my praises in court again, for saving your precious daughter from her would-be assassins."

"What of it?"

He glowered at her, meeting her eyes. "Why don't you tell them what I really am? The Queen's pawn! The Queen's pet killer and watchdog! What good are your open coffers to a man who will be dead in a few days, killed by your lover!"

Minna stepped back in shock. "Lord Conash, you do yourself no favours with this behaviour. Nor will I tolerate gutter language in my presence."

"Then leave!"

"How dare you order me?"

"I dare it. What have I to lose?"

Minna looked at the distraught Chiana. "What is wrong with him?"

"He is -"

"Be quiet!" Blade growled, then faced the Queen again. "Tell me, what is the punishment for striking the Queen?"

She blinked. "Death, of course."

"On the gallows? The axe man's blade?"

"Yes."

"Good." The assassin drew back his hand, but Chiana flung herself at him, sending him staggering back. His heel caught a rug, and he sprawled on his back with Chiana on top of him. He stared at her in surprise, then laughed.

"Foiled by my own wife!"

"Chiana, I demand an explanation!" Minna sounded scandalised. "What is the matter with him? Has he lost his wits?"

"Oh yes, I definitely have done that." Blade chuckled.

Chiana looked up. "No, My Queen. He fears Kerrion's arrival. He thinks he will be tortured."

"I know it!" Blade snarled.

"I see." Minna paled, groping for a chair to sink into as her legs shook. "I have been remiss."

Blade pushed Chiana off and stood up, walking over to his bed, where he flopped down on his back and stared at the ceiling. Chiana glanced between them, uncertain. Minna looked dazed and horrified at the prospect of Blade's torture. She shook her head.

"He may not."

"He will," Blade muttered.

Minna recovered a little of her poise. "I have been thoughtless and selfish, thinking only of myself and the Princess, and not considering the fate of my most trusted friend and loyal subject."

The assassin snorted.

"You could flee..."

"Where to?"

"No, you are right, there is nowhere except the very places I would not have my people hide. What else is there?"

"There is only one escape for me now," he murmured. "Death."

Chiana stifled a sob, and Minna bowed her head. For some time a deep, gloomy silence filled the room, then Chiana sniffed and Minna-Satu looked up.

"Then I will share my cup with you. It is a painless end, quite pleasant, I am told."

Chiana gasped, and Blade sat up. "You accept that I am right then?"

"If you are so convinced of it, you will find a way, as you demonstrated earlier. I would not have condemned you for it, however, since the only witness would have been Chiana. I need you at my side until the bitter end. I would have you with me when I take the Cup. But I will not leave you behind to suffer if that is what you fear. We will go into the Everlasting together, you and I."

"That is generous of you."

"Not at all. All my rewards are worthless to you now. The least I can do is grant you a painless death, poor payment though it seems. I had hoped... But that is of no moment now. I do not believe Kerrion would do such a thing, but perhaps I am wrong."

"His people will demand it."

"Yes, perhaps he will have no choice in the matter."

"He bears me no fondness, that is certain."

Minna sighed, glancing at Chiana. "Then it shall be so." She rose and headed for the door. "Come, Chiana, I would speak to you."

Blade watched his wife follow the Queen with puzzled eyes, then sighed and lay down again. Minna's promise lifted a great burden from his shoulders. The worry had plagued him for tendays, increasing in strength as the enemy forces drew closer to the city. The prospect of pain and humiliation at the hands of Cotti torturers had darkened his dreams of late, and most of his waking time, something he had hidden until now. The Queen's offer had surprised him, but not as much as Chiana's attack to save him from himself. He closed his eyes.

Chapter Eight

In her chambers, Minna turned to regard her chief advisor with pitying eyes. Chiana wiped her cheeks with a handkerchief, unable to control her grief.

"Come, Chiana, stop snivelling." Minna poured a cup of wine, offering one to Chiana with a wave of her hand. "You must have realised that this could happen."

"I had not thought it a certainty, My Queen. I thought he might hide, flee and return when it was safe."

"He has too much pride for that." She sipped the wine. "And too much arrogance. But most of all he fears discovery."

"And torture." Chiana filled a goblet with a pale vintage.

"That is a thing to be feared, indeed. I still do not think Kerrion would do such a thing. He admires Blade, and he had no love for his father or brother. But as you saw, Blade would have found a way to get himself killed if I had not made the offer. A public attack on my person would have forced me to execute him, and I would rather offer him a swift death as a reward, not punishment."

Chiana looked hopeful. "Then it was a ruse?"

"No. I stand by my promises."

Chiana slumped, turning away. "How long do we have?"

"Four days, according to my officers. Kerrion will arrive a day before the Contara. I have made certain of that by impeding him little and throwing the bulk of my forces against the Contara advance. I have already instructed my officers. The city will not fight. It would be futile, in any case.

"We may hold them off for several days, but in the end Jondar will fall. This way fewer will die. As soon as Kerrion arrives at the gates, they will be opened to him, and I shall take the Cup. When he sets foot within this palace his daughter will be Queen and you Regent. You must be strong, and accept Blade's death as he does. Make the most of these last days, so their memory can sustain you."

"I will commission an artist to paint his likeness."

"A good idea, though I doubt that he will sit still for it."

Chiana sipped her wine. "I will not watch him die."

"Of course not. Dying is a private thing, only the Queen's daughter may sit with her while she takes the Cup and slips into oblivion. Since mine is too young to comfort me, Blade shall be my companion. You will be elsewhere with the Princess."

"Then he will die alone."

"We will drink together, I think. If he chooses to outlive me, then yes, he will be alone, but I think he may prefer it that way. He has been alone for most of his life."

"Are you not afraid, My Queen?"

Minna shivered. "Sometimes I am, but the Everlasting is not to be feared, I am told."

"But you are so young."

"It cannot be helped. I must save my people."

"How can you be so certain that Shamsara is right?"

Minna put down her cup and sank onto a pile of cushions. "Shall I tell you what he said that day? It is much more than I have told anyone, and it has all come true so far."

Chiana nodded, and the Queen went on, "He told me 'a man will come to you, but you will not know him. He will carry a burden of hatred and his hands will be stained with blood. He is the key that will unlock the future, and he alone can change it. He can overthrow the Cotti throne and bring you the father of your child. When you have found him, do not let him go'."

Minna smiled, her eyes distant. "When Blade first came here, I did not know him. I thought this man of whom Shamsara spoke would be a great warrior, one of my officers perhaps. I never thought it could be an assassin, a trade despised and hated by all. Then Shamsara said 'You will love him, but he will love no one, yet he will be beside you when you make your sacrifice'. So you see, I know that peace will be won between Jashimari and Cotti, for he was right about Blade."

"You love him too?"

The Queen looked shy, and pleated the shimmering silk of her skirt. "Almost from the moment I first laid eyes upon him."

"But what of Kerrion?"

"It is possible to love two men, and in different ways. It is difficult to explain. One was unattainable, the other within reach. Also, I had no choice in the matter, if the prophecy was to be fulfilled."

"What would you have done, had he struck you?"

Minna giggled. "I would have smacked him back, and been angry. I am glad you stopped him."

Chiana looked away, grief darkening her eyes. "He knows what he is, and that brings him the most pain of all."

"What do you mean?"

"He calls himself 'the instrument'. He hates himself for putting all this into motion and bringing about his own doom. He says that the fate of the instrument is the most terrible of all. Did Shamsara say what would happen to him in the end?"

"No." Minna looked pensive. "He did not. But his end will be painless like mine, and that is not so terrible."

The next day, Chiana went to Blade's rooms armed with a pencil and paper. She found him sitting by the window, reading a book in the sunshine. He shot her an irritated glance when she settled on a nearby chair and started to draw. He seemed calm, but his mood remained sour, and he contrived to ignore her. After a while, however, he started watching her, then demanded to know what she was drawing.

She glanced past him. "I am drawing Inka."

"Inka?"

"My familiar. She sits on the window ledge."

Blade turned to look at the dove, who sunned herself, one wing fanned. He snorted. "So why do you have to do it here?"

Chiana shrugged, taking advantage of his attention to sketch his eyes. "I thought to keep you company."

"Do I look like I need company?"

"Yes, you do."

"I prefer to read alone. Your scribbling distracts me."

She sighed and put away the paper, rising to her feet. "Very well, then I shall leave you to your solitude."