Sacrifice: The Queen's Blade (19 page)

"But since I am what men have made me, it cannot serve as it was intended."

"It can!" Chiana crept closer. "You have a wife and friends. Your light shines through the wall of bitterness and hatred you have built around yourself. You have one day, perhaps two, to share a little happiness with those who love you, to let yourself feel it one more time."

"It's too late for that. Even if I wished it, a wall built over fifteen years cannot be torn down in a day, and I'm content as I am."

She shook her head, desperate to reach him. "You think you are, but you are not. How can you be? You showed me your torment just the other day, and it pains me to see you suffer so."

"All I was suffering from then was the prospect of being tortured, and the fact that I have put into motion my demise. I was cursing my stupidity, nothing more."

"It is safe to allow yourself to feel now. There is no time to regret it. No harm can come of it, only happiness. A chance to fill that void that has dwelt in you for so long."

The assassin frowned, apparently surprised by her perception. "What do you want from me? Why did you ask me here if not to fulfil some selfish dream or satisfy some morbid curiosity?"

"I want you to hold me as you might your sister or mother, were they alive, nothing more. Let me comfort you and share my love with you. The day after tomorrow you die with the Queen. All I ask is this one thing to remember for the rest of my life."

He scowled. "No. Be glad that you have a life, it's more than I do." He strode towards the door.

Chiana shook her head, anguish swamping her. "My life will be empty without you. I shall never know happiness again once you are gone. My heart will die with you."

The assassin paused to pluck the dagger from the door. "That's not my problem, is it? Learn to live with it. Your suffering is nothing compared to mine."

"Have you no kindness in you at all?"

"No." He left, pulling the door closed behind him.

Chiana flung herself down and buried her face in the pillow as her tears overflowed again. "That is why you have no familiar. Your kin know you have no love to give."

The following day, Minna could no longer keep silent about Chiana's sorrowful, puffy-eyed state. When the chief advisor presented herself at breakfast for her duties and discussions, the Queen put aside her cup of tea and stared at the unfortunate girl.

"What is the matter with you? Yesterday you looked exhausted, today you look even worse."

"It is nothing to be concerned about, My Queen. You have matters of far greater import to worry you."

"Actually, I do not. All that remains for me to do now is wait. There are no matters of court to attend, no strategies to discuss, no new business to plan and no future to ponder on, for it all hangs in the balance.

"My advisors have returned to be with their families, as has most of my court. No doubt they are hiding their valuables, praying for deliverance or enjoying themselves, as their natures dictate. So tell me what is troubling you, perhaps I can help. Have you had a falling out with Blade?"

Chiana grimaced. "It is hard to fall out with someone you have never been in with. I asked for his company these last few days, and he has rebuffed me cruelly."

"I see." The Queen sighed. "I could have warned you. You cannot melt a glacier in two days by lighting a fire under it. If you wish his company, you must be satisfied with what little he offers.

"Challenge him to a board game or a dagger-throwing contest, start an intellectual or philosophical discussion. These things you may get, but I know what you want and he will not give it, not now, and there is no time left to try to change him."

"How is it that you understand him so well?"

Minna smiled. "We are cat kin. We have iron wills and a stubbornness that rivals the kin of donkeys. We can sometimes be persuaded, but never forced, and we dislike rules. We enjoy our comforts and give little in return but our affection, for we have loving natures. But since Blade has no affection to give, you will find him difficult in the extreme. He is a wild cat, independent and hostile, immune to any blandishments except perhaps praise and loyalty. You are a woman of doves, soft hearted and fragile, you will not tame him today."

"Do you know why he has no familiar?"

The Queen looked regretful. "I can only surmise that he is one of the Shunned. He will not allow himself to care for another creature, and the beasts do not form one-sided bonds."

"As I thought."

"Do not weep for him before he is dead. Make what you can of it while he lives."

"I cannot. He is angry with me now."

Minna shot her a hard look. "Then you have wasted what little time remains, unless you are willing to brave his ire. You are too timid, like your kin. You must learn to be braver if you are to rule Jashimari when I am gone." She waved a hand. "I have no chores for you today. You may do as you please."

Chiana bowed. "My Queen."

Chapter Nine

It took her a little while to pluck up the courage, then Chiana went to Blade's rooms, intent on trying to heal the breach. As she reached his door and raised her hand to push it open, loud voices from within gave her pause, and she hesitated, listening. Blade spoke clearly, his voice filled with scorn.

"You're mad, Jayon. Who devised this stupid scheme?"

"Several of us planned it together. It started as a joke and grew from there. Now we're all convinced that it's an excellent idea."

"All? How many are there?"

"About fifty."

Blade's tone grew scathing. "And were you all drunk at the time?"

"I admit some of us were, but since then we've sobered and we still think it a good idea. To save the Queen! What could be better?"

"To obey her would be better, not attack and abduct her."

"She'll die unless we act. We can't allow that."

Blade gave a harsh bark of laughter. "You can't allow it? Who are you to make decisions for the Queen? She's made hers, and you must abide by it."

"She'll thank us for it one day, I assure you."

"And I assure you that she will not. Nor will you succeed. You'll all end up on the gallows, mark my words."

"Then you won't join us?" Jayon's tone was disappointed.

"No. I'm not an abductor and saviour of Queens. I abide by her decision, and you will not sway me from that course."

Chiana could imagine the frosty scorn in Blade's eyes as he spoke, and the flat, disinterested look on his face. Jayon had not given up yet, however.

"We could pay you handsomely."

"Who do you want assassinated?"

"No one."

"Then I'm not for hire. I sell death, nothing else."

Jayon's voice rose in frustration. "We need your help! She listens to you and trusts you."

Chiana did not wait to hear more, but picked up her skirts and ran to the Queen's chambers, bursting in unannounced. Minna looked up from rocking her daughter, a slight frown tugging at her brows.

"Chiana? What is the matter?"

"Treason, My Queen." She walked closer. "Jayon and fifty men plan to abduct you. I overheard him telling Blade, trying to persuade him to join."

Minna-Satu took the news calmly. "And did he?"

"No. Allow me to call the guard at once."

"Are they on their way?"

"Not as yet, but it must be soon."

Minna nodded, looking a little dreamy. "How nice it is that some of my men think so highly of me that they would risk their lives to save me. Do you not think so? What it would be to have the burden of decision lifted from me, and to be carried to safety by such noble, loyal men."

Chiana stared at her, stunned. "You wish to live then?"

"Of course I do. No one wants to die, not if they are sane, which I assure you, I am."

"Then you plan to let them succeed?"

Minna shook her head. "Alas, I cannot. If there was a way to end the war and live, I would have found it. The idea of being swept from harm's way is tempting, but would only ruin all my long-standing plans." She sighed. "As the time draws nearer the temptation to escape my fate grows ever stronger as my courage wanes."

Chiana knelt on a cushion. "It would be the same if you simply disappeared, would it not? I could declare you dead, and Kerra would still become Queen."

"Please do not tempt me further." Tears shimmered in Minna's eyes. "It is hard enough already. You should be bolstering my decision, not arguing against it."

"I am sorry." Chiana looked down at her twisting hands. "I have no wish to lose you. I spoke wrongly."

"I know what you feel." The Queen gasped, stifling a sob. "It is bad enough that I must do this terrible thing to myself, but now I must slay my loyal men to achieve it. I do not want to die." She pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and pressed it to her eyes. "But peace can only be bought with my death, and I have agreed to pay the price."

Chiana stared at the floor, biting her lip to stem her tears. She longed to embrace the stricken Queen and offer her comfort in this, her time of need, but it was forbidden.

Minna gulped and forced a bitter smile. "I do not think a woman was meant to rule. We do it well, but when it comes to something like this we are weak."

"My Queen, no man could accept his death any easier than you. Many would not have your courage."

"Blade has the courage. I doubt he weeps from self-pity."

"He thinks he only has a choice between a painless death and a torturous one, so his decision is far easier than yours. Besides, he may not weep, but his mood is very ill."

"I can imagine." Minna dried her eyes again. "But perhaps it is the ones who will be left behind to mourn us who have the greatest courage." She looked down at the infant in her arms, and her eyes grew wet once more. "I wish I could raise my daughter, and that she could know her mother, but at least she will not have the sorrow to plague her."

Chiana's eyes overflowed. "My Queen, please do not weep. It distresses me so."

"This is why I wish to be left alone today. You should go."

"Allow me to call the guards first."

"Dear Chiana, they are already called. I have known of this plot since it was hatched two days ago." The Queen smiled. "I have many spies, and they do their work well. A hundred men wait hidden in the corridors ready to spring as soon as my would-be saviours appear. Their attempt to save me will be short lived, I assure you, as will most of them. It pains me greatly, but it must be done."

"I see." Chiana slumped as the tension leaked out of her, leaving only sorrow. "Then I beg your pardon for the intrusion."

"No, I am pleased that you came to warn me. It proves that you will stand by my decisions even when you do not agree with them, which is true loyalty."

"And Blade proves his loyalty also by not joining them, despite his claim of having none."

Minna rocked the gurgling baby. "No, Blade simply does not care. He did not come to warn me, did he?"

"No." Chiana looked away, ashamed.

"If Blade can be counted on for anything, it is to do little or nothing, except when he is paid to kill."

"You are right." She stood up and bowed. "I will take my leave of you, My Queen."

Minna nodded. "Go and seek the company of your husband. You have little time left."

"How little?" Alarm made Chiana's heart flutter.

"My officers tell me that Kerrion is only a day's march to the south-west. I have been forced to send more reinforcements to fight the Contara, who have tried to quicken their advance. It seems they wish to arrive here first, thus laying claim to the city. Go now, find happiness while you can."

Chiana glanced back as she closed the door, and glimpsed the Queen bent over her daughter, crooning a soft lullaby in a choked voice. Brushing tears from her cheeks, Chiana walked down the corridor towards Blade's rooms. As she turned the first corner she stopped dead in shock and alarm. A mob of soldiers strode towards her with drawn swords, their eyes glinting with determination. Jayon led them, his face set in grim lines. As he drew near Chiana called out to him, hoping to stop this suicidal mission.

"Jayon! Go back to your quarters, forget this madness!"

He slowed as he neared her. "Do you want the Queen to die?"

"No one does, least of all her, but it must be so. You cannot save her."

"I can have a damned good try!" He brushed past her.

"You will fail. She has been warned of your plot!"

Jayon stopped and turned to stare at her. "You told her?"

"I did, but she knew of it days ago. Her spies told her."

"And an ambush awaits us."

"Yes."

Jayon glanced at his men. "Then we must rush the doors. Ready men?"

At the soldiers' shout of assent, Jayon raised his sword and charged the Queen's rooms, his men pounding at his heels. Chiana cringed as they rushed past her, some bumping into her and making her stagger. Many had a dazed, half-crazed look about them, their eyes glazed and their lips flecked with froth, and they frightened her with their careless brutality.

Some ran with their swords raised, ready to fell any in their path, consumed by a battle frenzy to the point that they feared nothing. One of the last men who rushed towards her focussed on her, and she realised with spine-chilling fear that he mistook her for an enemy. Chiana cried out, raised her hands and backed away, but the soldier's crazed eyes did not waver from their target.

The soldier coughed a spray of blood, and his eyes bulged. His knees buckled, and he toppled like a felled tree, crashing face down at her feet, his sword clattering from his hand. Chiana backed away, her eyes riveted to the dagger hilt that protruded from the back of the man's neck. Slowly she raised her gaze to the slender man who strolled towards her.

Blade bent and retrieved his dagger, wiping it on the soldier's tabard before he straightened to regard her. Chiana held a hand to her throat, almost able to feel the cold steel in her flesh. Battle sounds came from the end of the corridor, and the assassin glanced past her, then sauntered on in that direction. Chiana turned as he walked past.