Sacrificed (The Ignited Series) (4 page)

CHAPTER 4

When Alec and Callie returned with our bags, the fun of determining sleeping arrangements began. It really shouldn’t have been as difficult as it ended up being. I found it ironic that guys often poke
d fun at girls for being difficult, because in this case, the guys were definitely the whinier of the two sexes.

Being that we were sharing a three bedroom house, some pairing up needed to be done. Fortunately, the owners were prepared to accommodate multiple guests. The obvious ‘kid room’ was furnished with two bunk beds while the room across the hall from it had two double beds. The master bedroom had only one king-sized bed, so the two people who took that room would have to get a little cozier than the others.

Richie suggested that the three girls share the master room and the guys split up into pairs. It seemed like a sensible arrangement, but when Richie added that he must room with Micah, that idea fell flat.

Nathan and Alec glanced at each other and both shook their heads in unison.

“We’ll kill each other,” Alec said. “Not that I would care, but…” He threw a thumb in my direction like everyone already knew I was the only reason they hadn’t already killed each other.

“How about the two Skotadi rooming together?” Gabby s
uggested, eyeing both Alec and me with obvious distaste. I didn’t doubt she’d prefer for us to sleep outside, under the porch like a couple of stray dogs.

“I’m cool with that,” Alec said quickly at the same time Nathan answered with a resounding, “Not a chance.”

A beat of silence followed, and I doubted I was the only one waiting for them to duke it out right then and there.  

“Alright,” I said before their tempers brewed any further. “Callie’s not afraid to room with me, right?” I tossed a cold glare at Gabby before turning to Callie for confirmation.

As expected, she nodded.

“Richie, would you be okay if Micah roomed with Gabby?” I asked, biting back the sarcasm. Well, most of it. 

His eyes widened and his lips curled in disgust, and the only explanation for his reaction that I could think of was that I had spoken to him directly, like he considered it an insult to be addressed by some lowly Skotadi. He turned his grey eyes away with a barely detectable nod of his head.

I ignored him and turned to Nathan. “I assume you would have no problem rooming with Richie?”

Nathan and Richie shared glances, and they both lifted their shoulders in acceptance.

I turned to Alec last.

“I’ll take the couch,” he volunteered quickly.

I had been about to suggest he take his pick of rooms. I hadn’t even considered the couch, but he seemed to be happy with it. 

In fact, Micah and Nathan were both looking at me like they couldn’t believe I had managed to sort it out without someone being mauled in the process. I allowed myself a moment to bask in the glory before turning to Callie with a smile.

“Ready to move in?”

After Micah moved his belongings out of the master bedroom, I collected my bags from the Tahoe. I didn’t know how I’d managed to obtain the biggest room in the house. I hadn’t done it on purpose, but now that I had the room, I was going to enjoy it. I had so few things to look forward to these days that having a spacious bedroom with a king bed was the highlight of the year.

That was until I opened the door to find Nathan waiting for me in my room.

Then that became the highlight of my life.

I knew it wasn’t a social call. For him, it was business as usual. But for me, well, my pulse raced erratically as I approached him where he sat on the edge of the bed.

Nathan. On my bed. It would have been a dream come true if I didn’t know the reason for his visit. He didn’t even need to ask.

I replayed my chat with Micah, minus any mention of the dreams and how we already knew each other. I stuck with a winning the war version of the conversation.

And he bought it. Convincingly so, which was a relief, because that meant I didn’t have to plead with him to trust Micah like I trusted Micah. I didn’t want to get into that conversation any more than I had to. Fortunately, when it came to war tactics, Nathan was on board, just as I’d expected.

“Oh, and he’s going to help me figure out my specialties and control them,” I added.

Nathan nodded silently, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in that head of his. He seemed…off.

“He’s a prophet,” I continued to fill in the silence. “He said he’ll try to read me, try to pick up on my specialties so that we know what we’re dealing with.”

“That’s good,” Nathan muttered. He flashed me a brief smile, but I knew him well enough to know it wasn’t a real one. It was only a cover. Something was bothering him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Nathan’s method of avoidance was to look at his shoes on the floor. Eventually, after he more than likely determined I wasn’t going to let him off the hook, he answered, “He seems a little too willing to help you, and I can’t figure out why.”

I’d figured it was because of the dreams, and his feeling like he knew me so well because of them. But, Nathan was picking up on Micah’s behavior too, and he didn’t know about the dreams. So, what was it about Micah?

“I get the whole war thing,” he continued, “but it’s still a gamble for him if it doesn’t work. I think he’s got another motive. I just can’t figure out what it is.”

“I don’t think it’s anything bad, though,” I said. And I believed that. Honestly. I just wished I knew how in the hell I knew. 

For the first time ever, I saw a devious looking smirk on Nathan’s face. “Depends on what you mean by bad.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Maybe he’s into you,” he murmured quietly, eyes dropped to the floor.

There it was. Jealousy. I’d come to recognize it, since we were around Nathan’s primary source of jealousy twenty-four hours a day, Alec. But for Nathan to be jealous of Micah? That was unexpected.

Except, well, Nathan might not be that far off base. Micah did seem a little overeager. Perhaps that pull I felt toward him in the dreams was a byproduct of a crush he had developed on me. It wasn’t hard to believe—not that I thought I should be desired by every guy, not even close—but when you’re dreaming of the same person night after night, feelings could develop. They hadn’t for me, but maybe they had for him.

And then there was the way I’d caught him looking at me a few times, like I was the girl of his dreams—and not just in the literal sense. Though I had my suspicions, I refused to let Nathan know he may be on to something. I would get to the bottom of Micah’s intensity on my own, at another time. The last thing I needed was to give Nathan a reason to put up more walls between us. Alec had caused enough.

“No way,” I said dismissively. I paused a beat and then, because my inner voice could not be quieted any longer, added, “Sounds to me like someone might be jealous.”

The second I said the words, I regretted them. It wasn’t like me to be that bold, and the few times I had confronted Nathan over the past few weeks about his feelings, he’d clammed up and avoided me for days after. Expecting the same now, I mirrored him by staring down at my feet as he was, and tried to read his reaction out of the corner of my eye. I thought maybe, just maybe, a small smile curved his lips. But no dimples.

There was a long stretch of silence, and I knew he was deliberating a response. I expected him to blow it off, and nearly fell over when he finally murmured, “Maybe I am.”

More excruciating silence followed as I was rendered speechless. Had he really just admitted to being jealous? What did it mean? Did it mean
anything
? The fact that he hadn’t already bolted from the room gave me the courage to dig deeper.

“Hey, Nathan...”

I lifted my head, but he continued to stare at his shoes, avoiding my eyes. From his posture and the rigidness of his shoulders, I figured that he already suspected where I was attempting to lead this conversation.

“Have you...?” I trailed off, suddenly afraid to ask. Deep down, I feared that I already knew the answer. I just didn’t want to accept it.

There was a long silence, as I tried to gather the nerve to continue. Finally, Nathan broke it. His head lifted, and his eyes held mine. “Have you?”

What?
I shook my head sharply. “I wasn’t the one who needed time—”

“We both did, Kris. Remember?”

“Yeah, that’s what we said, but…I mean, not really. Not me.” 

I thought he might have started to smile, but he was quick to recover, as usual. Then he was back to serious-mode. “You do, Kris. You just don’t really know it. Alec—”

“I used to have feelings for Alec.
Used to.
That was before you.”

He made a face like he didn’t really believe me, and I couldn’t understand why. To me, it was easy. I didn’t understand why he had to make this more difficult than it was.

“I know your feelings for me are real, Kris. So are mine. Trust me.” He paused, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “But this thing with Alec isn’t over. I know it’s not.”

“Really?” I stood and looked down at him where he sat on the bed. “Who gives a shit about what I say, right? What I say doesn’t matter, huh?”

I didn’t wait for a response. I’d heard enough—nothing had changed. Part of me had started to suspect that he was making this so difficult because he didn’t want to be with me, but he didn’t know how to tell me. As I turned to storm away, Nathan grabbed my hand to stop me.

“You’re the one who needed time to figure things out, Nathan,” I said as I spun on him, my voice rising. “Not me. You, because of Lillian. Stop trying to put it all on me.”

He shook his head like he didn’t understand what I was talking about. “Lillian? You think that’s what this is all about?”

“You needed time to think,” I reminded him. As if he had forgotten.

“Yeah.” He said it like a question, prompting me to continue.

“Because your girlfriend just came back from the dead,” I said.
And tortured me and threatened to kill you…

He released my hand and made a face that looked surprisingly relieved. “I didn’t need time to think because of Lillian. I don’t know why you thought that. That was seven years ago.”

“Right, but the only reason you weren’t together is because you thought she
died
.”

“Well, yeah, but a lot has changed since then. I’ve changed. And you…”

“What about me, Nathan? You still need to think about something. If it’s not Lillian, then what is it?”

He lowered his face to his hands with a groan, avoiding my question. And my eyes.

“What is it?” I pressed, with a little more anger behind my tone than I had meant for. I stared at the top of his head as he rolled it back and forth. “Nathan?”

He peeked up at me through spread fingers. The look on his face was…unexpected. Open and vulnerable in a way I have never seen him before. It softened my anger, but not my defensiveness. I folded my arms to keep from wrapping them around him like I wanted to do. Not until he started talking.

“What about me?” I repeated.

His mouth opened, but he shut it again without a response. He’d always been so good at that—at thinking before speaking. Times like this, I wished he had a problem with word vomit like I was known to have from time to time. His ability to hold back his thoughts was frustrating.

“Nathan!”

He groaned. “You scare the shit out of me, okay?”

I froze, mouth agape and ready for another feisty argument, which had slipped away upon hearing his words. I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was afraid of me, considering what I was destined to become. But Nathan had always told me that none of that mattered to him.

I didn’t think that was what he was referring to now though, which meant that he was scared of
me, the girl, not the monster. Though I had no idea why.

“You’re the first girl since Lillian that I’ve felt any…” Uncertainty settled into his eyes as his teeth caught his lip. Finally, he said, “With you, it’s different.”

Entranced by his unexpected admission, I sat beside him as he continued.

“Lillian and I were young, we were having fun. Yeah, I loved her, but I was living in the moment. I never looked past the present…” He trailed off and I could tell that he was struggling to find the right words, or scared to say them. “You’re the first girl I can see a future with. And that scares the shit out of me.”

My heart did a little jig along with the
Lord of the Dance
going on in my stomach. Wow. That was so not what I had expected. And it filled me with hope—hope that he would forget about this
not acting on our feelings
thing he was hung up on. While hopeful, I knew he wasn’t there yet. And I knew he had more to say. I just wanted it to be something promising, because I was so tired of not acting on my feelings.

“And you’re only seventeen,” he continued, sounding like it killed him to admit that. “You’re young. You should be out there, exploring your options. Not moving into a relationship.”