SACRIFICES (43 page)

BRAD AND TODD RETURN TO BRADS OFFICE TEN MINUTES LATER

             
They purposely don’t talk about the chief. They just relax, sip some coffee and read the paper. There was no way possible that any
real
work was going to get accomplished today with the chief’s retirement party. So, instead of trying, the boys kick up there feet and think about the next time they enter the building in the morning how things will be different.

              Neither one mentions the letter that was sent. Although neither man can get it out of their mind, they don’t talk about it. Brad tries to not think about Jenny. It’s impossible, but he does try.

Todd knows what’s on Brad’s mind so he offers him suggestions for the night. One idea he ran across Brad; ‘why don’t you join Jessica and me at dinner tonight to celebrate our promotions.’ Or, ‘Instead let’s take a taxi downtown just the two of us and get plastered. Get rowdy, and get arrested for our first day in our new positions.’

              Brad nods and smiles at some of the suggestions but convinces Todd that the best one he can think of is just relaxing at home. Todd’s not happy but he doesn’t want to push the issue knowing how he feels about missing Jenny and his son.

              Life for both men has changed with this case. More so for Brad then anyone, for the first time since his wife died he let his guard down. And he ended up falling in love.

              Brad has tried to maintain an attitude that whatever is meant to happen will happen. You can’t do too much to control the inevitable. But lately he’s altered that theory. He’s beginning to think; sometimes the right thing to do isn’t always the right thing to do. There are gray areas; it’s those gray areas that you live in that change your life and makes you the person you are and the person you aren’t. This case that’s monopolized the media is a
total
gray area. Only time will tell if it’s the right shade of gray.

              Neither officer knows what will happen with this trial. After reading that letter and feeling that it’s accurate. Maybe this gray area should be decided just like Lyle said. In the court, with what they already have. Anything they could say or do would most likely not change the outcome. So why jeopardize the life of someone whose life has been forever changed? A life of pain and suffering and living with a nightmare that most of us could never even fathom. Why possibly hurt someone that knows all to well about hurt?
That wouldn’t make sense.

CHAPTER 20

ONE WEEK LATER

             
Brad sits at the dinning room table with his son. Brad had the boys sent back home shortly after he took over as chief feeling confident that they were safe again. 

              They’ve been doing a lot of catching up over the past few days. Brad filled his son in as to what’s been going on with the case and the missing couple. It was no surprise to his son. It’s been the top story on CNN for the past couple weeks. He was able to watch it with his Uncle Buck in Nevada. He let him know about the chief retiring and Todd and his promotions.

              He did ask his dad a lot of questions. For example: Why did he feel it was safe now with the killer still not found? Why he doesn’t think anyone’s in danger anymore? Brad Sr. smiled and explained. ‘If it wasn’t safe I would have never brought you back home until I was sure.’  He didn’t give details for his explanations. Brad Jr. just shrugged his shoulders and smiled. He knows there’s nowhere in this world he’d be safer than with his dad. A feeling he’s always had.

              They took in a Cub game against the Pirates on Sunday and played a couple games of miniature golf. He’s been spending as much time as he can with his son. Brad never has told his son about Jenny. Although he thought about it, he never spoke the actual words. He thinks that maybe someday if things change or they get together he can explain everything to him when the time comes. Until that time comes he doesn’t feel it’s necessary.

              Brad Sr. has been so excited to have his son back home and feeling safe again that he’s almost been able to put Jenny out of his mind. Not really, but she’s definitely taken the backseat to his son being home.

              For his first week as the new chief of police Brad found it exciting and frustrating. He enjoys the challenge but finds it difficult to delegate all the different department heads. For many years he headed his own department and grew into that position. He’s now faced with the challenge of running the entire precinct. A challenge he takes with great pride, a challenge that will take time to adapt to.

He’s made a few calls to Chief Carlin for a little fatherly advice every now and again. Chief Carlin didn’t mind he liked the fact that he was still needed.

              Now Todd on the other hand is a natural at his new position. The only difference between the present and a week ago is he has a different ‘
official
’ title. Todd, for years helped run the robbery/homicide department from delegation, to the day-to-day reports and operations. Up until the promotion the brass never gave him the title, although he still did the same work. Since he has the title, he feels a little bit more pride in what he does. It’s funny what a gold piece of metal with your badge number on it can do to your state of mind and self worth.

              During the few days since he’s been the new chief his day, for the most part, is spent away from Todd. It’s quite a departure from spending eighty to ninety percent of the day with him in the past. Todd’s doing his thing and he’s learning his new job. They do talk on the phone sometimes and eat lunch together daily.

              The letter they shredded has never been brought up vocally since that day although both men think about it all the time. Sometimes at night when Brad’s lying in bed he wonders if they did the right thing. Nighttime’s the toughest. Nighttime is when he thinks about the wives of these guys and what a horrible ordeal it must have been for them. He finds it hard in his private thoughts to feel anything for the men that were executed. He thinks he should, but he can’t find it in his heart to feel sorry for a group of men that tortured, raped and murdered just for the fun of doing it.

              Brad carries the note with Jenny’s phone number on it with him everywhere he goes in his wallet. He’s picked up the phone several times and dialed the number; he now has memorized, and hung up before it rang. He thinks they could be good together. He thinks that maybe if they meet up again they could share their feelings and move on together. But for now he just waits like she wanted him to do. Waiting is a tough game to play.             

              Brad Sr. doesn’t feel like any company for his evening of sulking. So he goes alone. His son is having a sleep over and with him feeling sad and down, he decided to go out by himself. He figures a good night of relaxing with a few drinks and being alone will help him forget about a lot of things that are weighing heavily on his mind. It’s a little break from heartache and reality. Before he goes to the Waterloo he drives to the lake to take care of one more piece of unfinished business.

              Brad parks his Jeep and walks to the handrails that keep kids from taking a swim in Lake Michigan. He leans his arms onto rail and watches the lights reflect off the slow moving water. He sighs and closes his eyes. Brad takes a deep breath and reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little souvenir that was left in Chief Carlin’s car. He holds the little thirty-eight special in his hands and shakes his head thinking about how much this little gun has done to ruin the lives of so many people. He reaches back and heaves it into the calm waters of Lake Michigan. He watches the distant splash and puts his head down as the gun and this case settle to the bottom of the lake. Brad leans up and walks to his Jeep to drive to the Waterloo as the warm summer breeze blows through his hair. 

              He walks in on this Tuesday evening at the Waterloo and the place is dead. There might be five people here on this night and three are working. It’s going on nine o’clock he notices as he takes a seat in the back. It’s the same booth he sat in with Jenny the first time they came here together. He leans back and kicks up his feet on the other side of the booth. He rolls his head in a circle and smiles when Veronica walks up.

              “Hello Mr. Chief of Police.” Veronica smiles as she takes a seat next to him grinning from ear to ear.

              “Hi.” Brad smiles back.

              “So what will it be tonight?” Veronica leans back taking a load off after being the only waitress working all night.

              “I’ll take a screwdriver.” Brad looks away feeling relaxed by the casual laid-back atmosphere here tonight.

              “Coming right up.” Veronica places her hand on his knee and scoots over to retrieve his drink.

              A few minutes later she walks over and sits down next to him. Her tray has two drinks on it and she‘s dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve T-shirt with the Pub‘s Logo on it, a completely different outfit. “Here you go.”

              Brad smiles and asks. “I take it Pete let you off work a little early?” He couldn’t help but notice how good she looked when she sat down.             

              Veronica moves herself next to him where her hip is touching his. “Pete told me I could go ahead and clock out. It’s pretty dead right now. So I hope you don’t mind if I join you. I noticed you were alone tonight.”

              Brad shyly looks away. “Oh course I don’t mind.” Taking a sip he gives her a smile.

              Veronica takes a drink of her Tom Collins and asks.

“So where’s the pretty red head you’ve been seeing?”

              Brad takes another drink and answers. “She...well, she’s from Peoria. She went back home.”

              “Did you two stop seeing each other?” Veronica stirs her drink with a thin, flat red and white straw looking away waiting for his answer.

              “That’s a tough question to answer. Yes and no I guess is the best answer to give.” Brad smiles feeling unsure himself at this point. He reaches for his wallet and says. “Let me pay for the drinks.” He starts to take out some money.

              Veronica places her hand on his and explains. “I bought these.” She smiles while she looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes slowly stirring her drink. Brad’s wife had gorgeous green eyes. He finds a woman’s eyes to be their most attractive attribute. It’s usually the first thing he notices when he sees a woman for the first time.

              Brad smiles and says. “Thanks. That was very nice. You don‘t have to do that.” He puts his wallet back and picks up his drink. “So how have you been lately? It’s been a while since I was last here, you doing ok?”

              Veronica leans back and shrugs her shoulders bringing her chest together as she does. “I guess so. I’ve been having a little guy trouble lately.”

              Brad leans toward her and whispers. “Do you want me to take care of it for you?” He grins trying to show her he’d be there for her if she needed. Just in case the guy was bothering her.

              “I don’t know.” Veronica takes another drink slowly stirring and staring into the glass. “The guy trouble I’m having is strange. I’ve liked this guy for a long time. And he shows me no interest at all.”

              Brad shakes his head as he takes a long drink actually finishing it off. “It’s definitely his loss then.” Brad winks as he sits the glass down on the napkin with the pub name on it.

              Veronica nods her head as she finishes her drink. “I don’t know what his problem is. I don’t think he’s attracted to me. I don’t know.”

              Brad leans over and whispers. “He must be blind...this guy. You’re a beautiful woman.” He takes out his wallet and says. “Let me buy you a drink this time?”

              Veronica signals for the bartender holding up two fingers. Shortly after she does he walks over and sits the two drinks down on the table. Brad hands him a ten-dollar bill and says. “Keep it Pete.” Pete refuses it and says. “It’s been pre-paid for Brad.” He then walks away.

              Brad looks at Veronica and asks. “Did you do that?”

              She smiles. “I know how you are. You never have more than two if you’re driving. So I went ahead and paid for two rounds. I figured that way we could at least have two together before you left.”

              Brad nods his head and smiles. “That’s very nice but I would have gladly bought.” He looks away smiling as he picks up his fresh drink.

              Veronica stirs this one and says. “So what do you think his problem is? Is there some reason he wouldn’t want anything to do with me?”

              Brad takes a few sips and leans back. “Well, I can’t think of any reason. You’re gorgeous. You have a very sweet personality; I’d say this guy’s stupid if you ask me. I’d say don’t waste your time on this guy. You’d have no problem
whatsoever
finding someone else. That is of course if you were looking?”

              Veronica turns toward him. “I don’t want to give up on him. I think if maybe he got to know me he’d fall for me. I think he’s worth it.”

              Brad asks trying to help. “Does he know how you really feel?” He takes an ice cube from the drink and chews on it.