Safe Harbor (37 page)

I wanted to remind you of something you did for me that was special to me but I just can't narrow it down to one thing. You have always been my support and I don't know what I ever would have done without you. When I was being silly or rash, you helped me through it. When my temper (the one I still say I don't have) rears its ugly head, you are there to bring me back to a simmer.

Growing up, when I got hurt, you were always the one who would hug me tight and take the pain away. If somebody picked on me at school, you were there before I ever had to ask. More than one time somebody that was picking on me mysteriously got sick. You always said it was not you doing anything but I was sure it was just you protecting me.

I guess what I am trying to say is you are perfect in my eyes and someday I can't wait to have my little Hannah running around protecting her older sister no matter the problem. I can't imagine anything more promising than that in life. I want you to know that I love you unconditionally and no matter what you do in your life I will always love and support you. You have my shoulder, just as I have always had yours.

I love you,

Abbey

Hannah swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm very, very lucky to have all of you. You always make me feel so loved and so special. I don't know what I was thinking, afraid you couldn't accept me because I'm not a model anymore."

"Did you really think that, hon?" Libby asked gently, "or did you have trouble accepting yourself?"

There was a small silence. Hannah took another sip of her tea. Honey and milk combined with the tea to soothe her throat. "Of course I have trouble accepting me. Look at me, Libby. I already look at myself and see every flaw, real or imagined. Part of me wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out." She frowned, trying to really analyze her feelings. "Part of me was terrified and sickened that someone would want to do this to me, but there is a tiny part that felt free. I felt if I could focus on that small triumph instead of the wreck of my face and body, I might find a way to emerge victorious. I'm really sorry I shut you all out."

"Don't be," Sarah said. "It was good for us to have to figure out what we were doing wrong. Jonas said something the other day that made a lot of sense. He said when Damon and I have a fight, he doesn't interfere. I really thought about that. Jonas has always been protective of us, and he never once interfered with any of our men when we argue. He must want to—maybe even need to—but he doesn't because it would be wrong. And it was wrong for us to try to run your life for you, even if our intentions were good."

Hannah looked around at the faces smiling at her. Acceptance. It was what made them all so close. Joley, as wild as she could be; Elle, so quiet and with fire simmering beneath the surface; Abbey, more at home in the sea; and Libby, without a mean bone in her body. Sarah, organized and reliable; and dear sweet Kate, whom everyone had to love. "You're all pretty great sisters," Hannah said, trying not to cry.

Kate bit into her cookie. "Of course we are. When you were a little girl, you were very angry with us because it was time for school and you didn't want to go. How old was she, Sarah? You remember when I'm talking about."

"Oh, don't tell this story," Hannah said and put her head down on the crook of her arm, laughing. "Joley and Elle don't know and you just can't tell them."

"'Cuz we think she's so perfect and would never do anything bad," Joley said. "Spill it, Kate."

"How old was she, Sarah? You remember the time we were hurrying, trying to get ready for school, and she decided she absolutely wasn't going to go?"

"Six," Sarah supplied. "She was only six."

Hannah groaned and took another sip of tea. "You're both going to be sorry for telling this story."

"It will be well worth it," Kate said. "She sat on the stairs with her arms crossed, glaring at us, and if we touched her, we'd get zapped."

"An electrical shock," Sarah added, "a real jolt. She zapped us all—including Mom and Dad. At six she was already making up spells."

There was a small silence. Joley sat up straighter. "I'm seeing you with new eyes, Hannah. You're a goddess. You really zapped Dad? I wish I had known that spell. He caught me going out the window one night and, well—let's just say I could have used something."

They all burst out laughing. When they sobered, Libby took the book and a little shyly opened it to her page. The pictures were all taken of a day they'd been walking together in the forest. Hannah remembered the day because it had been so perfect—everything from the weather to the company.

"This was one of my favorite times with you," Libby said. "We talked about everything and I was so distressed. I was in med school and the hours were killer. I was younger than everyone else and some of the other students weren't very nice. You made that day so wonderful, Hannah. I knew, after that walk, that I could face everyone and do what I wanted to do and still be me. You gave me hope." She pointed to her letter. "I'm not very eloquent, but it's from the heart."

Hannah dropped her gaze to the scrawl that was Libby's.

Hannah,

I need to tell you just how much you mean to me. You are so very special and a large part of my heart belongs to only you.

We have shared so many laughs and tears through the years and have made enough memories together to last forever. I still get a smile on my face every time I remember the time we were playing cards and were hysterical with laughter when the phone rang. We couldn't answer because we couldn't stop laughing and when you did finally answer it was a wrong number which only sent us back into another round of laughing until our stomachs actually hurt.

My life would not be what it is today had you not been a big part of it. You were always there for me with your love and support, and often your protection. Many times, I've seen you step out of your comfort zone to help me as well as many others. You are one of the most loving and giving persons I've ever known.

Dear sweet Hannah there is nothing you could ever do or say that would change my feelings for you. You are a huge part of my life, and I love you just because you are YOU!

Your loving sister,

Libby

Hannah closed the book with a small snap. "Now you've got me crying."

"Just drink more tea," Elle suggested. "That's what I do."

The door banged open and Jonas hurried in, the wind and mist coming in behind him. "It's getting cold out there," he greeted them, striding into the room and stopping abruptly. He frowned. "You're not having one of your girlie things, are you, with everyone crying and being all mushy?"

"That's exactly what we're doing," Joley said cheerfully. "Come on and sit down and join us."

Hannah felt pleasure bursting through her. It had been this way for so long. The seven sisters and Jonas. He'd always been in the circle with them. He complained, of course, and sometimes rolled his eyes and sneered, but he always flopped on the floor and became a part of who and what they were. She watched him as he took his place between her and Joley, wedging his thigh against hers and sliding his arm around her waist, fingers at the nape of her neck, slowly massaging.

"Did anyone bother to cook dinner? I'm starving."

There was another burst of laughter. He scowled at them. "What?"

"You
always
ask that, every single time," Hannah explained. "You're always hungry, Jonas."

He bent down and skimmed a kiss down Hannah's cheek, right over the fading wounds as if they weren't there. His kiss ended at the corner of her mouth. "They're being mean to me, baby. Can't you turn them all into toads or something?"

"Yeah, now you want her casting, now that she's on your side," Joley said.

"Don't worry, Joley," Jonas said as he snagged a mug of tea floating by and scooped up a handful of cookies from the plate. "She really just wants sex. The minute she gets what she wants and I start bossing her around, it'll be back to the seven of you against one lone man."

Hannah choked on her tea and had to have Jonas whack her on the back.

"He's right, you know," Elle piped up. "Think about that, Hannah, before you do anything stupid. Sex is great and all that, but he's going to be so bossy. Do you really want to put up with that night and day?"

Jonas grabbed Elle in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles over the top of her head. "I already boss all of you night and day, you little wildcat. Someone has to, or you'd all be out of control." He let go of her, ignoring the punch on his thigh. "So are all the letters read?"

"You knew about this?" Hannah asked.

"I know all," Jonas replied, expanding his chest.

"She's turning to my page now," Kate said a little shyly. "Please remember, Hannah, I'm better at fiction than reality. I have such a difficult time expressing myself."

"Not with Matt," Jonas said. "You're all over him."

Kate gave him an undignified smack on his arm while Hannah looked through the pictures. They were of a shoot Hannah had done. First she looked glamorous in several gowns and then she was laughing, in her jeans and sweater, hair piled on her head, making faces at them. "I love those, because they show what a real person you are underneath all that glam."

Hannah took a deep breath to still the overwhelming love she felt for her family so she could read what Kate had written to her.

Dearest Hannah,

When I think of love, of family, of the way sisters should be, I think of you. When I think of courage, of incredible personal strength, it's your face I see. Though you may never have realized it, you are the strongest, the bravest, of us all.

I know what you suffer when you go out in public. We're both so alike in that respect. To be surrounded by strangers, to be the center of attention, to feel emotions beating at you: I could never do it. I've always clung to the shadows, to the security of solitude, but you never have. I can't tell you how much I've always admired you for that.

I realize now that your bravery has always been for our benefit, not for your own, and that must stop. I love you, Hannah. What I want for you is all I've ever wanted: your happiness. So be brave for yourself, not for us. Live your life the way you want to, seek out the happiness waiting for you. And let us love the sister you are, not the sister you think we want you to be.

Love forever,

Kate

"Thank you, Katie," Hannah said simply and leaned over to kiss her. "I don't know what I'd do without all of you. I really don't."

"Fortunately we don't have to find out," Kate agreed. "You scared us all, Hannah. Really, really scared us. I couldn't think or breathe. When you went down, you took all of us with you, and for one terrible moment, we knew what life without you would be like." She glanced at Joley. "I know Prakenskii is dangerous. All of us touched his mind, and we could catch glimpses of a very scary man, but I'll always be grateful for what he did, whatever his motives. He saved your life. He kept you alive for us and it took a huge toll on him. He knew it would make him vulnerable to our magic, but he still kept you safe for us. I pray every single day for his health and happiness."

"Pray for his health, Kate, but leave off the happiness part," Joley muttered.

Jonas threw a brotherly arm around her. "If he was your man, I wouldn't have to worry about you so much. He'd scare everyone off. Maybe I ought to bribe him."

Joley pinched him hard and shoved a cookie in his mouth. "You're such a joker, Jonas. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny."

Hannah leaned back into Jonas and instantly his arms came around her. His chin nuzzled the top of her head.

"What else is in that scrapbook?" he asked.

"My page," Elle said, shyness in her voice. "The first pictures are of you directing the wind. I love to see the power in you, your hair blowing and your arms outstretched to the sky. You glow, Hannah, and you look so feminine. Nothing makes me prouder than to see you that way. And the others are of you in the kitchen. When I come home and I'm so tired and…" She broke off, looked around at her sisters' faces and then down at her hands. "When I feel so weary that I don't think I can go on, there you are. The moment I see you, I know I'm home. That's what you represent to me, Hannah. Home. Safety. Love and acceptance."

Hannah turned her face into Jonas's chest for just a moment to brush aside the emotional tears. Elle was so quiet and rarely talked about herself or her feelings, and when she did, Hannah felt privileged. "That's such a beautiful thing to say, Elle. Thank you."

"It's the truth," Elle replied simply.

There were nods all around. "She's right, Hannah. Now that Elle brought it up, you do represent home and family for all of us," Sarah agreed.

Hannah couldn't talk so she read the letter instead.

Hannah,

Hey Goldie-locks, though I'm no writer like Kate and I sure don't have the Joley touch, I can't let another day pass without telling you how much I love you. And what you've meant to my life.

Did you know that one of my first memories is of jumping in my crib chanting Hann, Hann, Hann and knowing
that you'd come running? You'd pull me up over the rails and out of the crib, hug me close and dance me around the room. When I was crying you tickled me and made me laugh. Hey, I still have the tiny penguin you gave me when I was five. It's a treasure I keep in my purse and pull out when I'm a little sad or lonely, and need a reminder of how much I'm loved. Who could forget our penguin walk and laughing until we cried? And my prom date… when I wrecked my dress and Joley fried my hair… remember how you held me tight, reassuring me that it wasn't the end of the world? Like always, you dried my tears and fixed everything better than new. You made me look like a fairytale
—
even though my date turned out to be a frog and not Prince Charming. Somehow you even made me laugh over that disaster. I always think of you on the catwalk, twirling under the wind and rain and night sky… you were the one who showed me the stars
.