Safe Harbor (40 page)

"Nikitin saw the entire thing. He's fixated on you, too. What do you think the first order he's going to give me will be when we're alone? He's going to want the son of a bitch who hit you taken out. Damn it, Joley. Don't you ever think before you act?"

"She did it for me," Hannah said, stepping close to her younger sister. "She was protecting me."

"She used her voice and her body on him. He'll be obsessed and it won't go away." Ilya released Joley after one more, hard, frustrated shake and stepped away from her, one hand scrubbing over his face. "If your voice was picked up by the microphone, you'll have more than one man obsessed with you. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Maybe it was a little rash," Hannah defended, "but her heart was in the right place."

"Just like it was when she pretended to be Libby? Half the world thinks she's into sex orgies and kink and the other half is so obsessed with her, they're dangerous."

Joley swiped at her eyes and lifted her chin, her expression stubborn, defiant. "Maybe I am into kink and orgies. It's no one's business if I am."

His breath hissed out. "Don't push me right now, little girl. You'll find yourself over my knee right in front of your sisters. I' in furious with you."

"You wouldn't dare. I'd have you arrested."

"No, Joley, you wouldn't. We both know that, so just back off and let me rant about this as you deserve. But I'm warning you." He stepped closer to her. "The next time you do something so foolish, so dangerous, I'm going to give you a lesson you will never forget."

He swung away, paced the length of the room like a restless tiger, visibly pulling back and regaining control. When he turned around, he was no less furious, no less frightening, but this time his rage was icy. "And what's the matter with all of you?"

The other Drakes had drifted into the room, one by one, all standing in a loose circle watching him with wary eyes.

"Do you honestly believe she's that tough? That strong? What's wrong that you don't look after your younger sister?"

Joley's swift intake of air was audible. "I am that tough and you'd better not threaten my sisters or you'll find out just how tough I really am."

Hannah's head was pounding, the emotions swinging out of control, beating at her. This was her fault. Joley's exposing herself to danger was her fault. As much as she might detest Prakenskii's manner, he was right. Joley was rash and she did act without thought for her own safety when she was protecting her family. Was it possible that whoever hated Hannah that much would turn that hatred on Joley?

"You're right," she said, her voice strangled with tears. "You're right. Joley, honey, you have to be more careful. You're out there, all over the news, and the wrong people are watching."

The knock at the door jarred her nerves. She pressed her fingers tightly against her lips and turned away to try to keep the others from seeing how distressed she was. Just like that it had all come back. The knife. The pain. The utter horror of it. And now she had to worry about someone doing the same thing to Joley.

Ilya held up his hand when Sarah made a move to the door. "It's Nikitin," he said. "Tread softly. He knows nothing of your capabilities."

Elle moved close to Hannah and circled her waist with one arm, positioning her body just a little in front of her sister. Hannah frowned. Elle was the youngest, the quietest, and definitely the most lethal. Hannah didn't want Elle's protection anymore. If anything, it should be the other way around, but already her heart was pounding, lungs burning, and she could barely think with the buzzing in her head. A full-blown panic attack was setting in.

"Joley, take Hannah upstairs," Ilya commanded. "Hurry."

Joley glanced from him to Hannah's pale face. Without protesting, she grabbed Hannah's hand and took her out of the room, up the stairs. Behind them, she could hear Prakenskii opening the front door to let the mobster in.

"I-I c-can't breathe," Hannah stammered, her breath coming in long wheezes.

"Yes you can, honey," Joley said. "You'll be safe in your room."

"Outside." Hannah indicated the balcony. She could breathe outside. She was safe with the wind and the sea. She groped her way along the walls to the French doors and threw them open, stepping with relief onto the tiled balcony.

"Better?" Joley asked, pulling Hannah's chair closer.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Joley, and I'm sorry you felt you had to go out there and protect me from that slimebag pervert. You're an amazing sister."

"People like that make me so angry, Hannah." She was silent a moment, her hand shaking as she pushed back her hair. "I hate it that Ilya saw me like that. It made me feel cheap and dirty."

"Oh, Joley." Distressed, Hannah reached out to her. "He didn't look at you as if you were cheap or dirty, he looked concerned and upset, and afraid for you. He made me afraid for you."

"And I hate that he was right. It was a stupid thing to do, but I'm still glad I did it. Very few people are going to follow the Reverend after his little display."

"Be careful, Joley. Be very careful from now on. You've made an enemy." Hannah rocked herself back and forth, trying to find balance again.

"Jonas is going to be really upset with me, too." She brightened. "But you're going out with him tonight and that ought to mellow him right out."

"Maybe I shouldn't go with him. I don't want him to love me like this. I want to be whole for him. Strong for him."

"Jonas has loved you forever, Hannah, you're the only one who didn't know. He isn't going to stop loving you because you tell him to."

"Then you think I should go?" It was a commitment if she went. She understood that, and more, she understood that if she went with him, she was going to seduce him and that would be binding as far as Jonas was concerned. Was she ready? She honestly didn't know.

"Do you love him, Hannah? Really love him?" Joley asked.

"With every breath in my body. Bone deep. All the way."

"Why? Why do you love him so much, Hannah?"

Hannah sank into the chair and put her feet on the railing, the tension slipping from her body. "He makes me feel alive. He sees me. I can't hide from him. He sees me and he loves me anyway. He makes me feel beautiful when nothing else makes me feel that way. I can see myself in his eyes and he makes me a better person than I am."

"What else?"

"He knows how to have fun and he's okay with me having fun. He doesn't care if I'm rich or famous. He doesn't care if I'm a huge success out in the world. He makes me feel as if the things I want to do, stay home, cook and be a wife and mother, are just as important as saving the world."

"And?" Joley prompted with a small grin.

Hannah grinned back. "And he's hot in bed."

Joley laughed. "Then I say, you have your answer. The rest of it will all fall into place. Let yourself be happy, Hannah."

"What about my panic attacks? They aren't going away."

"You deserve to have a few panic attacks after some nutcase tried to carve you up with a knife. Jonas doesn't care. We don't care. Why should you? Be happy."

Hannah nodded. "You're right. How'd you get to be so smart? I'm going to take my bath and get ready and then will you come in and help me with something else, something important to me?"

"Sure. I'll be back with the 411 from whatever's happening downstairs." Joley winked and left her alone.

Hannah went back into her room, carefully closing the French doors and drawing the blinds. She stood in her room waiting for her heart to stop pounding. Hadn't she promised she would be true to herself? What did she want to happen tonight with Jonas? She was the one trying to hold off being with him physically because she was ashamed of her body, yet she wanted him with such intensity it shook her. As night fell, the tightness in her body seemed only to increase. She wanted to be lying under him, over him, with him, his body taking hers over and over. And God help her, she wanted to see that fierce, possessive look on his face again and again.

Every single thing she had said to Joley was the truth. She loved Jonas. There had been no one before him and there would be no one after him. If she wanted him, she needed to stand up and take him.

She walked slowly to the mirror and stared at her face. To her, the injuries were all she could see, her face carved into a wreck, pieces, like Frankenstein, but when she took a deep breath and forced herself to analyze her wounds, it was clear they were already well past the raw stage and into fading. The lines were red, but not inflamed. The skin looked healthy and soft again. The bruising and swelling was long gone. Her sisters really had accomplished a miracle, along with a brilliant plastic surgeon who had taken his time to ensure that he had meticulously seamed her face back together.

Slowly, Hannah removed her clothes, still staring at the mirror. Her throat, breasts and ribs looked far better, just as her face did. The deeper injuries were a little redder, but still, even those had healed so much faster, thanks to her sisters. She frowned as she tried to see what others saw—what Jonas saw. Was she beautiful like everyone said? She wanted to be for Jonas. And maybe in the end, all that mattered was the way he saw her. If Jonas thought her body was beautiful and he enjoyed it…

She blushed, thinking of how much he had enjoyed touching her. He took command of her, almost as if he meant it when he said her body belonged to him. She filled the bathtub and poured scented salts into it, wanting to give him more pleasure than he'd ever known. She wanted her body to belong to him, she wanted to see that same look of absolute possession and fierce hunger on his face and in his eyes.

Hannah took special care with her appearance, soaking herself in her favorite fragrance so her skin would have the light scent of peaches. She used lotion to make her skin soft and washed her hair with the same scented shampoo. Her makeup was applied with care, a professional's touch—using just enough to enhance her natural looks, play up her eyes and mouth without overdoing it.

She stood for a long time in her underwear, a lacy bra and matching thong of shimmering blue. What had been his fantasy? She reached for the flowing skirt, the soft sea blue swirled with midnight, and sprinkled with silver stars. She loved the feel of the soft, sensual material sliding over her hips and brushing her ankles. She wrapped a chain of silver stars around her left ankle and another around her hips. Staring into the bathroom mirror, she cursed herself for breaking her full-length one. She wanted to see if she could get away with no panties.

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart thundered at the idea of being so daring. Just to see how it would feel, Hannah slipped off her underwear and walked across the room. Only she would know. She'd be so aware that she was naked and ready for him. Would he see it in her eyes? She made a small twirl and watched her skirt flow out. There was no hint, not even when she walked and the folds settled along the vee at the junction of her legs, but she felt sexy.

She reached up and unhooked her bra. In the mirror, she caught sight of her bare breasts swaying as she turned slowly around. Dragging the peasant blouse Jonas loved so much over her full breasts, she took another look. She was covered completely, no hint that she was bare beneath her clothes, waiting for his touch.

"Hannah?" Joley stuck her head into the room. "Elle gave me this file for you. She said it's the one you asked for on all the nutcases writing to you. Are you certain you want to read it?"

She had been certain when she'd first woken up in the morning, but now she was not so sure. "Just put it on the dresser. I'll think about it."

"Well? Are you going to turn around so I can see you?"

Hannah nodded, holding her breath as she did so, waiting to see if Joley noticed anything different about her.

"You look beautiful. Jonas will love that outfit."

No sly teasing. Only Hannah was aware of her own daring. For some reason, that secret knowledge gave her courage. She picked up the scissors she'd set out and extended them toward her sister. "I want you to cut my hair."

Joley stared at the scissors without moving. "What are you talking about?"

"I want to cut my hair."

"You have beautiful hair, Hannah."

"Everyone else loves my hair, but I don't. I want you to cut it. You do all kinds of things to your hair. I'm not asking you to dye it pink or anything, just to cut it."

Joley took the scissors reluctantly. "Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. And while you're at it, tell me what happened when Nikitin showed up." She led the way to the balcony. The birds would appreciate her hair for their nests.

"Sarah said Nikitin really turned on the charm. He asked about you and said how sorry he was about what happened. He said he was glad he and Ilya were on hand to stop the madman."

"Ilya did the stopping. Was Nikitin anywhere close?"

"I'm just repeating what Sarah said. He wanted to see me. Libby told him I was resting, that I was shaken up by what had happened."

"Did he buy that?"

"I don't think he had a choice. He told Sarah that he wanted me to be careful because the coast was filling up with Russians."

"What does that mean?"

"I have no idea, neither did Sarah. Apparently Prakenskii didn't say one word with Nikitin in the room. At least now I know how to shut him up. If I have to talk to him, I'll make sure his boss is around." She stepped back to admire her work. "This is really sexy. Sexy and sassy and more you than ever. Check it out in the mirror. See if you like the way I shaped it."

Hannah held her breath until she looked. The heavy fall of hair was gone, leaving her curls falling to her shoulder and feathering around her face. It felt light and Joley was right. She did look different and she felt different, too.

"I love it, thanks, Joley."

"Well, I'm heading downstairs to eat. Jonas should be here any minute," Joley said as Hannah trailed her to the door to take the scissors. "Sarah thinks she's going to put me on restriction or something. She's afraid for me to go out for a while until we know the Reverend's reaction."