Safe with You (16 page)

A light tap on my bedroom window wakes me up from my dreamless state. I throw the covers back and tiptoe to the window. I lift the window gradually, careful not to make much noise.

J pops his head in the window. “You want to have some fun?” he asks, his voice a whisper.

Yeah, let me change first,” I answer.

“Don’t worry about changing, Cass. Let’s go.” Well then, I guess I’m ready. I didn’t ask him what we were doing or where we were going because any time I get to spend with J, I’m in. I trust him, so I just go with the flow and do as he says.

I climbed out the window feet first in my tank top and yoga pants. J’s hands grabbed my hips, guiding me down until my feet hit the grass. He grabs my hand and we take off running through the grass and into the woods, which is the shortcut to his truck or whatever he drove over here.

I laugh to myself when the four-wheeler came into view. J hands me the helmet for me to put on and this time I don’t struggle as much with the strap. J climbs on and then holds his hand out for me to do the same. Once I am on and my arms are locked around him, he cranks up the four-wheeler. He flips the ball cap he is wearing around backwards and then takes off.

I just lay my head against his back and close my eyes. It didn’t take us long for us to reach our destination. J navigates us back through the woods until we reach a clearing and a creek came into view. The moonlight reflects off the water creating the most breathtaking scene.

I take off my helmet and lay it on the seat of the four-wheeler.

The glow of the moon illuminates his face. He looks sexier like this if that was even possible.

J grabs the bottom of his shirt and pulls it up over his head, tossing it on the seat of the four-wheeler. His lips curl into a smile. “You ready to go swimming?”

Instead of using my voice to answer his question, I copy his action and take my shirt off. J sucks in a breath and the smile slowly leaves his face. His lustful stare from earlier replaces his smile. I mirror his actions each time he removes an article of clothing. When J removes his boxers, my eyes widened a fraction before blushing and returning my gaze to his face.

As J’s gaze sweeps over my body, I have the sudden urge to cover myself. He must’ve sensed that because his hand lifts my chin up to meet his gaze. “Don’t hide from me Cassie. You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning in to capture my lips.

I shriek when my feet leave the ground suddenly. J throws me over his shoulder and runs into the creek, not stopping until the water comes up to his waist. I slid down his body until my chest is touching his and my face is mere inches from his.

With the way the moonlight is shining on us and the way we are tangled up in each other, it’s almost like a dream or some fairy tale that I get to live in for a few hours. “J, is this real? Us, right here, right now?”

“It’s as real as you want it to be Cass,” he murmurs, his lips grazing mine as he speaks. “But if it is a dream, I’ll be damn if I ever want to wake up from it.” He licks his lips and continues. “I’m in deep, Cass, deeper than the water in this creek, deeper than the water in the river. I’m drowning in you, that is how deep I’m in and I don’t want to ever come back up to the surface.” I don’t know who attacked who first, but since we already were so close, we can call it a draw.

I moan, he growls.

I tug on his hair, he bites my lower lip.

J effortlessly lifts my legs and wraps them around his waist, lowering us into the water. I suck in a breath when his fingers tease my opening. He slides a finger in, then two. I arch into him and throw my head back. I shudder in his embrace when he nibbles on my exposed neck.

“J…” I moan out while his fingers move at a steady rhythm in and out of me.

I never thought something like this would feel this amazing.
And I thought Zack was good.

“Let go, Cassie,” he murmurs, his mouth still on my neck. And boy did I let go. J captures my cries with his mouth. I sag against him, my head resting in the crook of his neck. His hands roam the length of my back, up and down. He kisses my hair before laying his head against mine. “That was amazing, darlin’.” Did J really just call me darlin’? I reared back and splashed him in his face with water. “What was that for?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You know that word creeps me out, J,” I say coolly.

“My bad, let’s try that again.” I lay my head back against him. He kisses my hair again and I almost ruin the moment by laughing. “That was amazing, beautiful.” My breath hitches at the endearment. No one has called me beautiful since Zack. This isn’t the first time J has called me that, but at this moment, it was sweeter, more meaningful to me. “Is that better babe?”

Emotion clogs my throat. I used to be this vibrant girl who life going for her. I had the latest clothes, I was outgoing, and I laughed all the time. It’s amazing how two years can impact you. All I wear now is dark shirts and jeans with my converse sneakers. Hell, I don’t even wear any makeup at all now. I tend to keep to myself now instead of being a people person. When it’s drilled into you, though, you kind of have no other choice but to be this way. Before Bo and J came along I couldn’t tell you the last time I laughed.

It’s like my soul died and was replaced with someone else’s. Part of me wants the old Cassie back, but the question is, is can I be her again? After everything, do I want to be her again or just a version of whom I used to be?

Chapter Twenty

Cassie

A loud bang on my bedroom door startles me. “Cassie! We need you in the kitchen! Now!” My father’s voice booms from the other side of the door. I throw my homework out of my lap and scramble out of my bedroom. When I walk into the kitchen mom and dad are sitting at the kitchen table with irritated expressions.

“Your mother and I wanted to inform you we are having a party on Friday night.”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Aren’t they a little old to be throwing parties?

“Why?” I question.

Mom decides to put her two cents in. “It’s none of your business why. We’re the parents and you’re the child, it’s not the other way around.”

“Are you sure about that?” I grumble under my breath.

Dad stands up from his chair. “What did you say?” He leans forward pressing his hands on the table.

“Nothing,” I reply quickly.

“No I want to hear it, say it again,” Dad demands. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Well…out with it.”

I nervously wipe my sweaty hands on my pants.

“Um…I just asked if you, uh, were, uh…sure.”

Dad cocks his head to the side, his lips pursed. His expression clouds with anger. “Your Saturday privileges are gone until I say otherwise. That way you have time to think about who the parent is and who the child is here,” he seethes.

“But…”

Dad slams his hand down on the table causing me to jump. “No buts, Cassie! Go to your room!”

Sighing in defeat I retreat to my room. As soon as the door is closed behind me, the dam breaks. Tears slide freely down my cheeks. I hate my life. More importantly, I can’t stand my parents. What I said wasn’t really a lie. Mom and dad don’t know exactly how to be parents.

Not much longer and you will be free.
I keep telling myself that, but where will I go? I have no money, no car, no job, and no place of my own.

The only option I have right now is to keep my 4.0 GPA up so I can hopefully get a full scholarship somewhere that also pays for me to live in a dorm. I could get a part-time job to help take care of other expenses. But graduation is not for another eight months…who knows where we will be by then?

I know we won’t be here until I’m eighteen. We never stay in the same town for longer than four months and I don’t turn eighteen until December the twentieth which is four months away still.

The more I dwell on it the more tears I shed. I’ve finally found a place I love and I could see myself living here, even though it is way out in BFE. Bo, J, and his family have made this place feel like home to me. What will I tell them if I get to see them before I’m forced to leave? Will I get to hug and kiss J one last time? Will I get to thank them for letting me visit every Saturday?

****

Monday morning arrives and all I wanted to do was run and jump into J’s arms and never leave. Maybe I’d convince him to hide me in his closet every night or something so I wouldn’t have to come home because I never know when my parents are going to spontaneously decide to move again. For all I know tonight could be my last night in this town. My heart aches thinking about that.

“Are you okay, Cass?” J asks, tucking my hair behind my ear. We are sitting at the lunch table and I’m picking at my food. I royally screwed up and J has no clue. I thought I was living in hell already. Not getting to spend time with J on the only day a week I was allowed is going to be pure torture.

I turn my head towards him and give him my best ‘I’m okay’ smile. “I’m fine, J, I’m just tired.” I’m tired of thinking about my life and how it would destroy me to leave J and his family behind.

J must’ve been worried about something because I saw his shoulders sag in relief. “Okay, for a minute there I thought I might’ve done something wrong or you might be regretting…” his voice lowered and trailed off. I knew where he was going with that sentence.

I twist in my seat so I am facing him. I grab his hand and look straight in his eyes. “I would never regret that J, so please erase that from your mind.”

His free hand caresses my face. I lean into his comforting touch. J drops his hand and leans in to whisper in my ear. “Good, because I can’t wait to do it again…and again.”

I wanted to hide my face in his shirt because I know it is beet red. I feel J’s body rumble with laughter, at my expense, no doubt. “There’s that beautiful smile,” J announces triumphantly. “I can’t wait until Saturday, Cass. I have somewhere special I want to take you,” J kisses my nose and I want to die. I should have told him, but I couldn’t handle breaking his spirit. He is so happy his eyes light up. I don’t want to ruin that.

Tears burn my eyes as he walks away to dump our trays. Why does this have to be so hard?

Chapter Twenty- One

Cassie

Friday has arrived and I’m not ready for the party tonight. I can only imagine the kinds of people that will be over tonight. I don’t even want to be around my parents much less anyone else who shares the same addictions they do.

“Cass, you alright?” J asks from the driver’s seat. I still haven’t told J yet about my Saturdays being revoked. I imagine that’s about to change.

I sigh and shift in my seat so I’m facing him. “No. Um, I actually need to tell you something.”

We drive in silence a moment until J surprises me by pulling over to the side of the road. He puts the truck in park and cuts the engine.

I will not cry. I will not cry.

That mantra keeps replaying in my head over and over yet my vision becomes clouded by the unshed tears. “Come here, Cass,” J says softly. I crawl across the seat to his lap. As soon as his arms embrace me the tears fall. “Tell me what’s goin’ on sweetheart.”

I take a deep breath and force the words out. “I’m not allowed to see you on Saturdays anymore.”

His body stills. “What? Why?”

I need to vaguely tell him why without giving out too much information. I don’t need for him to be asking questions that I can’t answer. “I just said something I shouldn’t have and dad didn’t like it.”

After a few calming breaths he asks, “What did you say?”

“Sometimes my parents don’t act like adults so I made a comment about them acting like children.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.

J takes my face in his hands. “We’ll make this work, Cass. I don’t care how many rules I have to break or how many times I have to put myself at the risk of being grounded. We. Will. Make. This. Work.” He leans in covering his mouth with mine reassuringly. I twist in his lap so my legs are on either side of him. Each kiss sent my stomach into a wild swirl.

We broke apart panting like we just ran a marathon. Doubt creeps in, creating negative thoughts. “How will we make this work? What happens if we get caught?”

He presses his lips to mine once more. “Don’t worry about it. Just leave it to me, alright?” My hand covers his as he caresses my cheek. “Do you trust me?”

Shakily, I nod. There is no doubt that I trusted J. “Then, leave everything me to. I’ll find a way for us to be together, I promise.”

“How, though, J?” I hate that I doubt him.

“You still run after school right?” I nod. “I will meet you at a certain spot on your run.”

“Okay. What else do you have up that sleeve of yours?”

“I’ll let you know when I get it all worked out.” He winks and my heart melts. God, I hope this works.

Later that night I’m holed up in my room trying to concentrate on what little homework I have left. The music is so loud it makes it hard to drown out the noise. I wish there was a way for me to sneak out and get to J’s without mom or dad noticing. There is no doubt in my mind what is going on outside my bedroom door. I can’t stand it. I hate that I’m pretty much drug into this mess.