Safeword: Storm Clouds (12 page)

They made smalltalk as they walked up the hill. She told him she was looking for a place to put a small bar in down by the University, he told her that the whole vampire thing had given him a great idea for a project and he'd gotten permission from Abbot to write vampires into a video game. Abbot had told him he had to make some things wrong and had even told him a few of the things to make wrong and a few of the things he couldn't tell. Abbot wanted people to continue to think that stakes through the heart killed them, for instance, and he didn't want anyone to know how to successfully tie a vampire up with rappelling rope.

When they reached the top he laid the blanket out. It was waterproof nylon on one side and soft fluffy fleece on the other side, a pretty cool concept. She took her boots off and sat with her legs criss-crossed and he sat down beside her and pulled her to him, tucking her up under his arm as they both looked out over the river.

"Eric, I told you how I felt. I told you I wanted a relationship with you, whatever kind of relationship you are interested in, we'll find a way to make it work. I told you I like you, and that I want to spend time with you. You make me feel alive and it's been a long time since someone made me feel that way. Knowing that, it should be obvious that I've missed you, shouldn't it? The ball is in your court now. Do something with it."

He pulled back from her. "You sound angry."

She realized he was right. She was angry. She liked him and he didn't know what to do, and that put her out of control, and it made her heart hurt. But being angry at him wouldn't solve anything. She hugged her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and looked out at the water. "I'm sorry. I'm angry at the situation I guess, but not at you. Sometimes it sucks to be a vampire."

He spoke in short sentences, as if he wasn't really sure of himself, or wasn't sure of what he was saying. "Okay then. I want to see you, do things with you. I want to date you. But I can't be exclusive with you. We should both continue to date other people. I don't know where we'll end up and this is as good as I can do for now. I can't stand the idea of saying goodbye to you, but I'm also not ready to say goodbye to the idea of a traditional wife and family. This is the best I can come up with that lets me be true to how I feel."

"Fair enough, I guess. Thanks for being honest with me, Eric. The Realtor thinks he's got a place that will be coming available soon for my project down by the University, once we find a place that will work I'll be busy for the next couple of months from sundown until around 11:00 as I deal with decorators and contractors and the application for a liquor license and hiring people and ordering supplies and coming up with a menu and, well, there is a lot to do. I've put myself on the on-call list, to fill in when Abbot has someone call in sick somewhere, but unless I get called to help somewhere I should have free time from probably midnight until dawn most nights, so call or email me if you want to see me, I guess."

"No, Kendra, I'm not going to let you leave it like that."

"What do you mean you aren't going to
let
me
leave it like that?
You
are the one who is still not so sure about a relationship. I absolutely will not push you into something you aren't sure about. So yes, you are going to have to come up with date ideas and then ask me out. I need to know you are at least invested enough in our relationship to do that much."

Dammit, she was getting emotional. What was it with this man? She hugged her legs harder and thought about just disappearing on him again. They had probably said all that needed to be said, he knew he needed to call her and ask her out on a date, what more was there to say?

"Kendra, here, let go of your legs, it's okay. Let me hold you. I seem to have hurt you by taking so long to try to figure things out. I'm sorry, I should have called you sooner. I worked on the proposal and tried to give myself time to think. I figured I'd just see you when I got the proposal done and met Abbot and Josef at the house with it, but then you weren't there. I'm sorry, you're so strong, so confident, so... worldly, I never imagined I could hurt you. Please don't shut down on me."

Finally, she could hear in his words that he wanted her. Everything he'd said up until then had been spoken as if he wasn't sure of what he was saying, and finally he was sure of something. But, for how long? Just until something freaked him out again? Stupid mortal man. She should just walk away from him, save herself the heartache. Sure, he could make her feel alive now, but what happened when he met some cute hang glider somewhere and they started dating and decided to get married. She could never compete with that, and if the cute hang glider was what he really wanted then Kendra shouldn't even try to compete. She'd be as pathetic as Jake, thinking Angel would be his if only Kye would go away. She felt her eyes threatening to water, she had to go.

"I need to get to TBR. Call me if you want to do something and I'll have to see how busy I am."

And she disappeared on him. It had taken them five minutes to go up the hill, and she was in her car with the key in the ignition in less than fifteen seconds. She was pulling out of the marina onto the street when her cellphone rang, it was Eric.

"Dammit Kendra, stop doing that."

"Are you just calling to give me orders Eric? Because if you are then I'm not interested."

"Please stop disappearing on me like that. I said I was sorry I hurt you and then you were just gone. I didn't even get to kiss you. Come back, please, and let me kiss you, and then you can go to work."

"Eric, we are open until three in the morning and then I'll have to stay and lock up after everything gets cleaned up. I told you to call when you want to ask me out. On a date. Showing up on your boat at four in the morning isn't a date, it's you wanting me to come have sex with you. Sorry, not interested."

"If you aren't going to be available until after midnight for maybe months then how am I supposed to ask you out on a date? I can't take you to a movie after midnight, or to the theater. And you don't eat food so I can't even take you to a restaurant. You aren't leaving me many options here, Kendra."

He was right, time to give a little bit. "My Friday and Saturday nights will probably be open. While I might meet with the decorator or the Realtor on a weekend night, I won't be meeting with the contractor or attorneys. So come up with something on the weekend that we can do after sundown."

"Okay. I miss you. I wanted to hold you, kiss you. Please stop disappearing on me."

If he missed her so damned bad why the hell had he taken so long to want to see her again? But instead of saying that she just said, "Goodnight, Eric."

"Goodnight Kendra, I hope to see you again soon."

She hung up and drove home. She went downstairs and beat on the punching bag they kept in the workout room for a while and then changed her clothes and touched up her hair and went to TBR. A little late, but she needed to get that out of her system so she didn't hurt a customer who might need to be ejected tonight.

Luckily it was a pretty uneventful night. As she was driving home after working all night her phone rang. Eric again. Shit. Days without hearing from him and suddenly he wouldn't go away. "Hello again Eric."

"The community theater is doing a production of Lost in Yonkers, the show starts at 8:00. I'm online now and can get us good seats for either Friday or Saturday night. Which is better for you?"

"Kendra, that's almost a week away. If you have some time between now and then and you'd like to see me, let me know. Okay?"

She didn't point out that he'd gone six days without contacting her while he figured things out. That would sound too much like she was trying to punish him for making her wait. She wasn't punishing him, she was just busy. But she didn't get why it was suddenly an emergency to see her now when it had not been before. Had he thought she'd just drop everything and come running when he finally made up is mind?

"Goodnight Eric, I'll see you Saturday night."

Chapter Seven

Tuesday night Abbot had warned Kendra that Eric would be at the house on Wednesday night to meet with Josef and the contractor to begin finalizing the security system plans. The inner circle had liked the proposal and now it was up to Eric and Josef and Gavin to actually put the plans into motion. So on Wednesday night she left the house as soon as the sun went down, telling Josef she had a date that weekend and had some shopping to do and needed to get to the mall before it closed, and before she had to be at TBR to work for the night.

Once she was at work things were pretty slow since it was a stormy night and not that many people had braved the weather to go play pool. She talked with the bartenders and waitresses and even accepted an invitation to play a game of pool with what she assumed were some college guys and later found out were part of the University's football team. They were hunks. Self-centered overly macho hunks with egos bigger than their shoulders and chests, but hunks none the less.

And so when Eric walked in that night he saw her cutting up with them and playing a game of pool with them. She didn't see him at first, but she smelled him as he walked behind her on his way to the bar. She turned things up just a notch with the college guys, not really flirting, as that wasn't her style, but having fun with them. She pretended to notice Eric about five minutes later, giving him a smile but not going to him yet. When her game with the football players was over she told the boys she had to get back to work.

She walked to the bar and stepped behind it, pouring herself a glass of bourbon on the rocks. It wouldn't get her drunk, but two or three of these would at least help her chill out a little bit. Then she just looked at Eric, waiting for him to say something first.

"I didn't realize that filling in for the manager meant fraternizing with the customers."

She shrugged her shoulders, "It's a slow night, they asked me to join them for a game, I did. You are the one who said we aren't going to be exclusive. Why are you here, are you stalking me now?"

He shook his head and looked down, uncertain for a moment but then looking back up with more certainty. "No, Josef told me you were working here tonight and I thought I'd come in and say hi. And, I'm sorry for saying anything. You're right, I did say we wouldn't be exclusive and I have to remember that goes both ways. If I don't want you flirting with other guys I have to agree to not flirt with girls, too. I keep screwing up Kendra. I'm sorry."

"I need to go check out the kitchen and walk through the other rooms and make sure everything is still okay everywhere. I'll tell Ace your drinks are on the house, sit here as long as you want."

She walked to the other side of the bar to let Ace the bartender know that Eric's drinks were on the house and then she headed back into the kitchen before making her way to check on the vampire room. She ordered six ounces of blood while she was back there, just the smell of Eric had made her hungry. Then she strolled through the party room that was almost empty and the smokers room that wasn't empty before heading back to the main pool room. Eric was still sitting at the bar, still nursing a beer, and he had some cheese fries he was eating, too. When she came back into the room the biggest football player walked over to her. "Doll, is that guy bothering you? You looked sad when you were talking to him. I can get rid of him if you want me to."

"Thanks Ben, that's sweet, but I don't want you to get rid of him. Not like I'm sure you'd probably do it, anyway. He and I were trying to make a relationship work and now.. I don't know. Sometimes real life just gets in the way and you have to think that maybe it wasn't meant to be, even though it breaks your heart to think that. Ya' know?"

He hugged her. "Sorry you’re hurting, doll. If you want someone to take your mind off of him, help heal your broken heart, I'm the guy for the job."

She laughed as she hugged him and then pushed him away. "You big goof, thanks for making me laugh. Now go play pool with your friends."

As she walked back to the bar Eric looked pissed off. Kendra raised herself up on a barstool, leaving an empty one between the two of them. "How are the fries?"

"Not being exclusive doesn't mean flirting with other people in front of each other, Kendra."

Kendra kept her voice low so that only Eric would hear her. "Eric, you are beginning to piss me off. In the first place, what you saw when you walked in was good natured interaction with customers. I'd have played pool with them even if you and I had been exclusive. And what you just saw was the macho football player telling me I looked sad when I was talking to you, and asking if I was okay. We weren't flirting, I told him that you and I had been trying to make a relationship work but now it wasn't looking so good, sometimes real life fucks things up and some things just aren't meant to be. That was why he hugged me. If you weren't here then he'd have never seen me get emotional and then I could have kept things good natured with them. And while I'm at it, it took you
six fucking days
to make up your mind whether or not you wanted to see me anymore. And then suddenly you can't stand to go another night without seeing me? You didn't miss me those six days, why the emergency all of a sudden? You say you want to date me, but want to hedge your bets, don't want to take yourself off of the market. Fine, we can do it that way, but don't you dare say a word to me when you walk in on me working when you were not invited and happen to see me playing a game of pool with customers on a slow night."