Salene's Secrets (43 page)

“No,
Zerura
,” he said.  “There is no need to hide from us, and no need to feel shame.”

“I’m not ashamed,” she said.  “I just don’t like being stared at.”

“You misunderstand our reaction, love,” Jon said as he pushed the blanket back to expose the scars that peppered her body from her feet to her face.  “We love your scars.” 

Salene frowned, watching Kar’s hands find the scars on her arms and shoulders while Talus leaned down to kiss one on the side of her left breast.

“You love my scars,” she repeated suspiciously.

“They are a sign of your love for us,” Jon said.  “A symbol of your courage, and the strength of your heart.”

“Your scars remind us of what matters most,” Kar said.  “We love them, because we love what they represent.”

“We hate that you had to suffer so much,” Talus said.  “But we’re so proud of you, Salene.  So very, very proud.”

Salene tried to blink back the tears, then gave up and let them fall.  “Thank you for that.”

“No, it is we who thank you,” Talus said.  “It may take us the remaining years of our lives to deserve you, but we are thankful for the opportunity that you have given us to try.”

Chapter
14

The next morning Salene awoke to the smell of coffee.  She opened her eyes and sat up, turning to check the children before anything else.  They were both sleeping, huddled together in their sleeping bag near the fire.  Assured that they were fine, she stretched before reaching for her weapons, smiling at the faint soreness in certain areas of her body.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Talus said.  “Would you like some coffee?”

“Good morning and yes, please,” she replied.  Setting her weapons vest aside before turning to face the fire.  Talus held a cup out for her and she accepted it with a quiet “Thank you.” 

“How do you feel this morning?” Jon asked.

She thought for a moment, searching for the right word.  “Delicious,” she said, smiling at him.

“Excellent,” he replied, returning her smile with interest.  Kar chuckled, his eyes sparkling at her from across the fire.  Her smile stretched into a grin. 

“How do you guys feel?”

“Liberated,” Talus said, while Jon said “Relieved,” at the same time.  She looked at Kar, who was still smiling.  “I’m too happy, and I feel too good for just one word,” he said.

“That’s okay,” she said.  “I know exactly what you mean.  I feel the same way.”  After she took a few sips of her coffee she noticed a large covered container on the fire.  “What’s this?”

“Breakfast,” Jon replied.  “It’ll be ready soon.”

“Where’re Tonka and Jinjie?”

“Tonka needed to go out for a bit and Jinjie went with him,” Kar said.  “The storm broke a couple of hours ago, and they’re both covered, so they should be fine.”

“Did you guys shift this morning?”

“Yes, we did,” Talus replied.  “It wasn’t painless, but it gets easier each time.  The hardest thing right now is not being able to fly.”

“I’m dying to stretch my wings for a while,” Jon said, then noticed Salene’s worried expression.  “Don’t worry, love, it’s not something we need so much as something we enjoy.  What matters most is that we don’t forget to shift now, and the pain is fading each day.”

“Yes, that is encouraging.  And a big relief, too.”  She took another sip of her coffee and sighed with pleasure.  “Thank you so much for bringing coffee.  There wasn’t any in the survival pack which, by the way, is a serious oversight that must be addressed as soon as possible.  It’s bad enough to be stranded on an unknown world, but to be stranded without coffee is nothing less than cruel.  The lack of chocolate was also noticed.  Who in their right mind would put vanilla flavored nutrient bars in a survival pack?  It’s not only cruel, it’s
sadistic
.”

“We’ll ask Uncle Olaf to bring it up at the next
Enclave
,” Talus said, struggling to hide his grin.

“Good,” she said with a short nod, her lips pursed together though her eyes shone with laughter.

“I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see you happy, Salene,” Kar said softly. 

“Thanks, Kar,” she said.  “It feels pretty good, too.”

“Good morning Salene,”
Tonka said, entering the cave with Jinjie on his back.

“Good morning, Tonka, Jinjie.  How is it out there?”

“
Cold, but there is no wind and the storm has passed.”

“More good news,” she said.  “Hopefully we’ll make better time today.”

“Have you figured out why time is an issue yet?” Jon asked.

“Not specifically, no,” Salene replied, her smile fading.  “I was thinking about some of the things Rayne told me about the Doftles while we were walking yesterday.”  She paused to make sure the children were still asleep, then continued.  “I’m afraid that the first thing they’ll do when they discover a fleet of Jasani ships converging on this planet will be to destroy as much as they can.  They’ll dump the computers, kill the people they’ve enslaved, and probably destroy their creations as well.”

“You do be right,” Jinjie said with a slow nod.  “Doftles do be not sharing of secrets.”

“That doesn’t sound good for the people in other silos,”
Tonka said.

“No, it doesn’t,” Talus agreed.  “Unfortunately, we’re in no position to help them right now.  Even if we knew where they are, which we don’t, we have no means to reach them.”

“Since our ships haven’t arrived yet, and the
Aegl
is hidden, I don’t think we need to worry that they’ll take such drastic action yet,” Salene said.  “But we need to keep it in mind for when ships do arrive.” 

“I agree,” Talus said.  “Jon, the next time you speak with Captain Royce, mention the problem to him.  Maybe he can send a warning to the incoming ships as well.”  Jon nodded. 

“It’s too bad we don’t have Blind Sight on our ships,” Salene said.

“We’re working on that,” Jon said.  “Khurda is, anyway.  The Council is building a factory to his specifications on Garza.  It’s all top secret of course so please keep it to yourself.  If all goes according to Khurda’s plans, he’ll start turning out systems by the end of the year.”

“That’s fast,” Salene said.

“The Khun are an energetic and determined people,” Talus said. 

“I suspect the people held here, on this world, will be much the same,” Salene said.  “I just hope Silo 56’s computers reveal the locations of the other silos.  Otherwise I’ve no idea how we’ll ever find them.”

“Me do be making that first search,” Jinjie said. 

Salene caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned toward the children, smiling as they both yawned at the same time and sat up before rubbing the sleep from their eyes.  Tab suddenly pulled his hands away from his eyes, then reached out to tap Mali lightly on the arm.  She looked at him for a long moment, then leaned over and looked at one eye intently before very carefully wiping something out of the corner of it with her fingertip. 

“Better?” she asked, and Tab nodded.

Salene watched the scene in surprise, the conversation between her men, Jinjie and Tonka fading to a soft murmur in the background as she thought back over the past couple of days.  Every time Mali had told her what Tab wanted or needed, or what she
and Tab
thought or felt, she’d put it down to a habit of including her cousin when she spoke about them since Tab couldn’t tell anyone what he thought or felt.  She rolled her eyes at herself.  Mali had
dreamt
of Jasan, and she knew what that meant.  She should have expected something like this. 

“Good morning Mali, good morning Tab,” she said.  Mali gave her a startled look heavily laced with fear.  Salene was instantly furious, which caught her men’s immediate attention. 

“What is it, love?” Jon asked.

“Nothing,” she said, forcing herself to smile while giving him a warning look.  He didn’t know what the warning was for, but he remained silent when she turned back to the children.  “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” Mali said, but Salene felt her nervousness.  This couldn’t wait.  She wasn’t going to let her daughter spend one more moment worried and afraid about something that was a normal and natural part of her. 

“You can hear Tab’s voice in your mind, can’t you?”

Mali nodded reluctantly, her eyes flashing to the Gryphons, then to Tab, then back to her. 

“That’s a wonderful gift to have, Mali,” Salene said.  “Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”  Mali looked around at all the eyes watching her, then back to Salene again.

“Cause it’s bad?” she said, making it more a question than a statement.

“Lei told you that, didn’t she?”  Mali nodded again.  “What did I tell you about the things she told you, honey?”

“To tell you before believing them,” Mali said.  “Is it not bad?”

“It’s
absolutely
not bad,” Salene said.  “I love that Tab can tell you what he wants or needs since he can’t tell us.  That takes a big worry off my mind.”

Mali’s expressions underwent a fairly rapid change, going from confused, to relieved, to thoughtful, and finally to anger.  “She said people would put us in the fire and burn us till we died if anyone found out.  It gave us nightmares.”

Salene’s temper rose so fast it made her dizzy, but for the children’s sake she paused to breathe through it.  “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” she said when she was sure she had her own feelings under control.  “It’s true that some people in some places are afraid of those who have abilities that they don’t understand, and their fear can make them dangerous.  But most people know better. 

“All Clan Jasani men use magic, like Kar did last night when he lit the fire.  Instead of magic, Clan Jasani women have abilities something like yours.  We call them
psychic
gifts, or talents.  I have one, my sisters each have one, my Mom, and every other Clan Jasani female on my world has at least one psychic talent, and many have two.  There’s nothing
wrong
or
bad
about it.  You were born with it, just like I was.”

Two red spots appeared high on Mali’s cheeks.  “If I say I hate her, is that bad?”

Salene’s anger vanished in an instant.  She sighed, then set her cup down and spread her arms.  Both children got to their feet without hesitation and hurried to her, filling her heart with joy beyond anything she’d ever imagined existed.  She hugged them and kissed them, then settled them on her lap, glad for just a moment that they were small enough for her to hold both of them at once. 

“I don’t blame you for being angry with Lei,” she began.  “I’m angry myself and if you look at Talus, Jon, Kar, Jinjie and Tonka, you can see that they’re angry too.” 

Mali and Tab both looked over at the men, then up at her with wide, half fearful eyes.  “Oh, no, they aren’t angry at you!” she clarified quickly.  “They’re angry at Lei.  They’re
very
angry at Lei.”

Tab smiled and clapped his hands together, causing Mali to smile briefly.  Then she looked up at Salene again.  “So it’s okay to hate her?”

“Well, honey, hate is a tricky thing.”

“It is?” Mali asked doubtfully. 

“Yes, it is.  Let me ask you a question.  If you smile at someone, like me, or Tab, or any adult who isn’t Lei, how do they react?”

Mali thought about that for a few moments, then took a breath, apparently worried about her answer.  “They smile back?”

“That’s right,” Salene said.  “Now, if you frown or look sad, how do they react?”

“They frown too.”  Mali’s voice was thoughtful now.  Salene gave her a few moments to think.

“You ready for another question?”  Mali nodded.  “When you’re happy, how does it make you feel?”

“Good,” Mali said, smiling.  “Yesterday I was so happy and it made me feel good inside.  I never felt like that before.  I wanted to laugh and play and make it never end.”

“Good answer, honey,” Salene said, giving her a quick kiss.  “Happiness is an emotion, and as you just said, it has the power to make you feel good in your heart and mind and body.  When you approach people with happiness inside of you, it makes them want to share in it, just like when you smile at them, but even more.  Right?”  Mali nodded.  “Hate is an emotion too, and it can fill you up just like happiness does.  Only instead of making you feel good, hate makes you feel bad and dark and angry.  When you approach people with hate inside of you, it makes them want to get away.”

Salene could almost see the wheels turning in Mali’s head as she thought about that.  “Is that why no one wanted to be friends with Aunt Lei?”

“I can’t answer that because I never met her,” Salene said.  “You knew her.  What do you think?”

“Yes,” Mali said.  “I think yes.”  She frowned worriedly.  “Does that mean I have to not be mad at her cause I don’t know if I can do that.”

“No, not at all,” Salene said.  “I think you have good reasons to be angry with her and you should express that anger.  But I don’t want either of you to walk around with hate and anger filling you up inside all the time.  And, don’t forget, she’s not even here anymore so your feelings don’t mean a thing to her.  The only person who’ll be hurt by your hate is you.”

“I understand,” Mali said with a heavy sigh.  “It’s just not fair though.  She scared us and was mean to us and there wasn’t nothing we could do to stop her.” 

“You’re right, honey,” Salene said.  “It’s not fair.  But I’m afraid that’s the way life is.  Things aren’t always fair.  They’re not even fair
most
of the time.  So forget about what’s fair, and forget about Lei, and think about yourselves for a moment, because you have to make a choice now.”  She ruffled Tab’s curls.  “Well, Tab may be a bit young for it, and I’d say you were too, but you’re very smart and mature beyond your years.”  Mali’s shoulders straightened at that. 

“What choice?”

“From all that I’ve heard so far I think it’s safe to say that Lei was not a happy person.  She did a lot of bad things to you two, and she put a lot of anger and hate and fear inside of you.  Will you choose to let it stay there, and let it make you angry and dark like she was?  Or will you push it away and let happiness and love fill your hearts instead?”