Samantha James (34 page)

“I can’t do that, Abby.”

She gave a brittle laugh. “Oh, yes, you can. You already proved you had no trouble at all walking away from me and not looking back. After all, I had it from your own lips—you’re a drifter! Why I expected anything more is beyond me. I guess I’m just the world’s biggest fool!”

“No. You’re no fool, Abby. But you will be if you marry Buck Russell.”

She went white about the mouth. “What do you know about it?”

His lips twisted. “All I need to know. You said it yourself. Your half-ownership of the Diamondback makes you a wealthy woman—and rather attractive in the marriage market, I’d say. Looks like you won’t have to worry about not being courted after all, sweetheart. Even if you turn down Buck I imagine there’ll be a dozen others just waiting in line after him.”

Abby gasped. He inferred too much—that no man would want her for herself. Before she had stopped to think, she’d dealt him a stinging, open-handed blow to the side of the cheek.

Stunned at the extent of her own violence, she pressed a shaking hand to her mouth. “Damn you!” she cried, her voice breaking at last. “Damn you anyway, Kane! Why did you ever come back? Why didn’t you just stay away?”

Kane steeled himself inside and out. “I had to come back,” he said, very low. “We were … together more than once, Abby. Don’t you know there could have been … consequences?”

She lowered her hand slowly to her side. “Consequences?” she whispered.

He made a disgusted sound. “A baby, Abby. A baby!”

“Oh.” She glanced away, certain she was as red as the sunset had been earlier. “You don’t need to worry,” she announced in a high, tight voice that sounded nothing at all like her own. “Besides, what were you going to do? Make an honest woman out of me?”

Hot color crept beneath the bronze of his skin. “What if I was?” Guilt seared him, like acid eating away at his insides. There was a time when he
had
wanted to walk away. Until that last incredible night, he’d had every intention of leaving Abby—and never coming back. And he might have been able to, if only she hadn’t said she loved him.

But he couldn’t lie to himself forever. His time with Abby had awakened a long-dormant need inside him. His whole life he’d longed for nothing more than to be accepted, the same as everyone else. He wanted a home, roots, and a family—things he’d never dared dream about before … Now it was
all
he thought about.

Only now this wasn’t coming out at all like he’d planned. She was furious. He’d expected that, but he hadn’t expected the situation with Buck Russell … Damn, but she hadn’t wasted any time either! And now his own temper was riled …

Abby was too shocked to notice his defensive-ness. Her mind was spinning. Was he asking
her
to marry him? She sank into a chair, suddenly too weak to stand any longer.

“You came back here to see if I was expecting a baby … to marry me?”

“Yes, goddammit! Why is that so hard to believe?”

Marriage—to Kane. Lord, it would have been everything she wanted … But there was a rending pain in her heart. He hadn’t come back because he loved her—not even because he cared, just a little … He’d felt
obliged
to marry her.

“Oh, my.” An hysterical laugh bubbled up inside. “Well, you don’t need to worry, Kane. There’s no need for you to even try to be noble. There’s no baby—no need to make such a
sacrifice
as marrying me. Besides, you’re hardly a good catch—here one day, gone the next. And you’re an outlaw, no less! Buck is a much better prospect, don’t you agree?”

He hauled her up and out of the chair so fast her head spun dizzily. “Aren’t you going to ask me why 1 disappeared, Abby? Where I’ve been all this time?”

“No!” Defiance blazed in her eyes. She tried to jerk free. He wouldn’t let her.

“I’m not an outlaw,” he said harshly. “Do you hear me? I’m not a wanted man anymore! I went back to New Mexico to see if I could clear my name. I didn’t murder Lorelei and I figured it was time I stopped paying for a crime I didn’t commit. Thanks to a friend, I found out her ranch was put up for auction after I escaped—and guess who bought it? Her attorney, Allan Mason, and dirt-cheap, too! He set me up, Abby. He framed me for her murder just to get his hands on her ranch!”

His fingers bit into her shoulders. “Maybe I was wrong to leave the way I did,” he went on roughly. “Maybe I should have told you. But I didn’t know if I’d be able to clear my name—hell, for all I knew, I could have been shot down the minute I walked into town! And I thought you’d try to keep me from leaving and I didn’t want that! I remember you said that night that if I stayed, it would be a chance to start over for me—and you were right!

“But first I had to free myself of my past—I had to stop looking over my shoulder!” He floundered, searching for the right words. “I—I wanted to feel worthy of you, Abby. So I had to leave—I had to go back to New Mexico and finish what happened there once and for all. I never meant to be gone so long, but I had to stay and testify at Mason’s trial. And once he was convicted, the judge declared me the rightful owner of Lorelei’s ranch. It took a while, but I sold it because I didn’t want to come to you with nothing but the clothes on my back—I didn’t want you to think I was after
your
money or your half of the ranch. Maybe you can’t understand it. You’ve never had anyone treat you like dirt! But I wanted to come to you with my name as clear as my conscience. Don’t you see, I did it for you!”

In an anguished kind of way, Abby
did
understand. His pride had forced hurt to it. Only if he hadn’t been so stubborn, if he had listened to her just once, he’d have known that his past didn’t make one whit of difference in her feelings for him! And right now all she could see was that salvaging his pride had been more important to him than she was.

“You did it for me,” she choked out. “Kane, how can you say that? Do you have any idea what you put me through? I was out of my head with worry. You left before Dr. Foley even took the stitches out. I had visions of you lying dead alongside the road! That night … I thought we had something special … I thought you felt it, too … God, I—I told you I loved you … And what did you do … You just left me without a word! … Do you know what it was like, knowing I’d never see you again … thinking you didn’t care …”

The words were a torment for them both. He felt the deep, shuddering breath she drew. He knew she was convinced he’d been unforgivably cruel. Maybe he had. His guts twisted. But he’d make it up to her, if only she’d give him the chance. He started to tighten his embrace, to soothe with lips and hands all that he had laid bare, but she thrust herself away.

With the back of her hand she wiped the tears from her cheeks. The angry hurt she felt was like fire in her lungs. “You thought I was spoiled and pampered, Kane. All the time we were after Stringer Sam, you were convinced I thought only of myself. But who were you thinking of when you left? Did you ever think how I might feel? No! You were the selfish one, Kane—you!”

His eyes never left her face. “What do you want from me, Abby? You want me to beg? Fine. I’m begging you. Marry me.” His voice was gritty, as gritty as his vision. Fear had a stranglehold around him, the awful fear that he was about to lose the only thing he’d ever really wanted. “I—I can’t live without you. I don’t even want to try. Being with you … it changed me. Maybe because you believed what I couldn’t believe anymore—that I wasn’t the devil’s own hand. Maybe because you saw what I thought was gone forever.”

Oh! So now he was proposing out of gratitude? For saving his soul from damnation? Abby wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry. Yet his manner was anything but humble. He looked as if he were fighting mad.

Inside her heart was breaking. Lord, but she’d been a fool. She had trusted him with her life and with Dillon’s. But trusting him with her heart was something else entirely—and something she wouldn’t do again!

Her breath came raggedly. “You’re mad to think I would even consider becoming your wife! Why, my pa would never have considered you a fit husband! So just—just get out and don’t come back!”

Kane went rigid. His eyes pierced hers, as if to see clear into her heart. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“Yes!”

There would be no reasoning with her, he realized. She was dead-set against him, and he knew from experience she wouldn’t relent.

An icy tightness settled around his heart. His lips barely moved as he spoke. “Have it your way, sweetheart—you usually do anyway.” He whirled and stalked out of the parlor, slamming the door behind him.

Only then did Abby realize what she’d done … She collapsed in a flood of angry tears.

D
illon wasn’t surprised to see Buck Russell’s sorrel stallion hitched in front of the Silver Spur. His mouth curled in disgust. The hard line of his jaw thrust forward, he shoved aside the slatted wooden doors and stepped inside.

As always, the crowd was noisy and rambunctious. A half-drunk barmaid warbled an off-key tune to the trill of the piano. An occasional shout from the poker table punctuated the uproar. Dillon’s gaze drilled through the smoky haze, finally settling on the table in the far corner. Sure enough, Buck Russell was there along with several of his cowboys, his long legs lazily sprawled beneath the table. Polly, a buxom brunette, sat on his lap, her hand inside his shirt.

Dillon cussed under his breath, a long, fluent curse that did little to vent his frustration. This was the man Abby wanted for a husband? The rutting bastard couldn’t keep his fly closed if the damn thing were nailed shut!

Four long strides carried him across the floor.

The two cowboys scrambled to their feet. Polly hurriedly uncurled herself from Buck’s lap. Buck appeared nonplussed at Dillon’s appearance.

Then an easy smile spread across his handsome face. He waved the others away. “Evening, Marshal.” Pulling his cigar from his lips, he gestured Dillon to the seat across from him. “Can I pour you a drink?”

“Not tonight, or any other night, Russell.” Dillon’s tone was terse. He remained standing. “I think it’s time you and me had a little conversation.”

Buck raised a brow. “Something seems to have your dander up, Marshal. If one of my men has—”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with your men. Let’s just say I’m mighty curious as to why you’re sniffing at my sister’s skirts all of a sudden.”

Buck merely laughed. “Marshal, apparently you haven’t taken a good look at your sister lately. She’s a beautiful woman. Intelligent. Well-educated and well-bred—”

“And also half-owner of the biggest spread in the Territory. We can’t forget that now, can we?” Dillon didn’t bother to hide his mockery.

Buck was still smiling, but his eyes had gone diamond-hard. “We all have ambitions, don’t we, Marshal?”

Buck had just confirmed Dillon’s suspicions. It was the ranch Buck Russell was after; Abby was merely the means to attain it. The hell of it was that she knew it—she knew and still she didn’t care!

It was all he could do not to haul the other man from his chair and plant a fist squarely in the middle of his jaw.

Buck blew a ring of smoke into the air. “In case you’re wondering, I’m not entirely the rascal you think. I’ve kept my hands to myself. I’m not about to forget she’s a lady. After all, a man like me has certain standards that must be met when it comes to taking a wife. I’ve made no secret of that.”

A wife
. So it was true. He
did
plan to marry Abby. Buck’s pronouncement gave Dillon little satisfaction.

Deliberately he placed his hands flat on the table. He leaned forward so that they were nearly face-to-face, His voice was deadly quiet. “I can’t stop Abby from marrying you, if that’s what she wants. But I think if she does, she’ll be making the biggest mistake of her life. So I’ll say this once, Russell. You hurt her—
ever
—and it won’t matter one damn bit that I’m wearing a badge. I’ll see that you pay.” He turned and walked out without a backward glance.

Dust flew behind his heels as he strode back toward his office. For the life of him, he didn’t understand Abby. Why was she so determined to put the ranch ahead of her own happiness? Didn’t she know that marriage was more than a business proposition—more than a herd of cattle and money in the bank? She deserved far better than that land-grubbing swine, Buck Russell. She deserved to be happy.

She deserved to be loved.

He stalked into his office, his expression dark as a thunderhead. Duke Severins, his new deputy, looked up from behind the desk as he entered. He gestured toward the chair in the opposite corner.

“Got a visitor, Marshal.”

It was Kane. Dillon’s eyes narrowed as the other man got to his feet, looking dusty, travel-stained and weary. His gaze slid back to Duke.

“Why don’t you take a break for a while?” he suggested. “I’ll hold things down here.”

Kane had yet to speak. Dillon dropped his hat on the wall peg and took a seat behind the desk. “This is quite a surprise, Kane.” He propped his booted feet on the corner and leaned back. “Abby gave me the impression you’d cleared out for good.”

“Abby likes to come to her own conclusions sometimes. In this case it was hardly the right one.”

Despite his foul mood, Dillon’s lips quirked. “Saw her already, eh?”

“Oh, I saw her, all right. She didn’t exactly roll out the welcome wagon.”

“I told Abby this afternoon I thought she was sweet on you. Got the feeling it wasn’t exactly a one-sided affair.”

Kane’s gaze sharpened. “It sure as hell isn’t,” he said slowly. He seemed to hesitate. “That doesn’t bother you?”

Dillon’s smile withered. “Let me put it this way. If you hadn’t left, I think I’d have a few less problems.” He motioned for Kane to pull up a chair. “Where the hell have you been all this time?”

Kane grimaced. “Can you believe I was trying to be noble? I went back to New Mexico to try to clear my name.”

“Did you?”

Kane nodded.

“Well, well. Now that sounds like something to celebrate.” Dillon opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a bottle of strong Irish whiskey and two glasses. He filled both with a generous portion and handed one to Kane.