Sarah's Orphans (30 page)

“It seems to be her way of feeling safe,”
Mammi
said. “What else can a child do but hide?”

“But she is safe with us. Doesn't she realize that?” Sarah had finally convinced Mia to lay on a pallet on the living room floor, and now she was fast asleep.

“
Ya
, she is safe here, and I think in her heart she knows that, even at her young age. But her mind has to find a way to deal with what happened to her.”

“I can't imagine what it must have felt like—to see her mother and then just be left, again.”

“Maybe you can.”

Sarah and
Mammi
were sitting at the kitchen table, preparing lunch for Andy and Henry. Paul had stayed at his place to work on pens for the new piglets. They would try to plant the next day if the fields dried out enough. At least it had stopped raining. From where she sat, Sarah could watch Mia—could keep an eye on her. But she knew that she couldn't watch her all the time. At some point, she was going to have to trust that God would take care of her, as He had the night before. Suddenly Sarah's hands began to shake, so she stuffed them in her lap.

“Paul said something similar.”

“What your mother has done, what Mia's mother has done—it's not a natural thing.”
Mammi
paused, as if she were choosing her words carefully. “I won't be judging either of them. In my heart, I believe they are doing the absolute best they can. It's only that, to us, it seems as if their best isn't very good.”

“I don't know why she left. Why would my mother be better off somewhere else? At least if she were here, we could take care of her. We were taking care of her.”

“But here she was reminded daily of her failures, and maybe…”
Mammi
's eyes met hers. “Maybe she knew that being here was holding you all back from healing.”

“Healing?”

“Over the loss of your father. Over the childhood you endured.”

“Those things weren't her fault.”

“I agree, but I imagine Deborah is still struggling with that truth.”

Sarah allowed those words to sink in. She didn't know if she agreed with her grandmother or not, but she could tell that
Mammi
believed what she was saying. She wasn't simply saying it to ease Sarah's worries.

“And Mia's mother? How could she be so selfish as to grab her own children? If she wanted to see them, all she had to do was ask.” Sarah sat at the table and began aggressively slicing cheese from a large block, the knife thudding down onto the cutting board with each pass of the blade.

“I can't answer your questions as to what her motivation might have been.”

“I love Mateo and Mia as much as my own
bruders
, but if she truly wanted to be their mother, if she could provide them a safe home, it wouldn't be my place to keep them here.”

“All we can do is offer grace and forgiveness as we're commanded.”
Mammi
stood, walked over to Sarah, and placed both of her hands on her shoulders. She bent over so that they were eye to eye. Sarah could clearly see the dear woman's map of wrinkles branching out from her eyes, across her forehead, down her cheeks.

“What you just said? That shows you've truly learned to love Mateo and Mia, and that you're willing to put their well-being above what you want. That, Sarah, is what a parent is supposed to do.”

Mammi
walked out onto the porch, leaving Sarah staring at Mia, who was clutching her Plain doll close to her heart as she slept.

Thirty minutes later they were seated at the kitchen table for lunch. Sarah enjoyed hearing her brothers discuss the crops, their chickens, even how Dusty seemed to have perked up over the last few days. The last thing they needed was to have to replace the buggy horse. Not to mention how much they would miss the gelding if anything happened to him. He was as much a family pet as the yellow cat
Mammi
insisted on feeding.

The men had trooped back outside, and Sarah was beginning to run dishwater in the sink when there was a knock on the door.

“That must be Tommy.”
Mammi
nodded toward where his car was parked. “Go and speak to him in the living room.”

Sarah invited him inside. As he walked in, she saw their sitting room as he must see it. No more clothes piled on the couch. No issues of the
Budget
scattered across the floor. It was a classic image of a Plain home—clean, uncluttered, welcoming. But what did that matter if she couldn't even keep the children safe? That question echoed through her mind every few minutes.

It had been her fault. She should have been more careful.

Tommy didn't waste any time getting down to business. He opened his messenger bag and pulled out a folder. From the folder he removed an eight by ten glossy photo. “This is Elisa Lopez, Mateo's and Mia's mother.”

“Why am I just now seeing this?”

“Because you need to now. Normally there is no interaction between Bridge parents and birth parents, at least not at this stage of the process. I know how carefully you are looking after the kids, but it's hard to do so if you don't know what or who to look for.”

She studied the photo. Elisa had brown hair and dark eyebrows. Her eyes looked exactly like Mateo's, and the smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks reminded Sarah of Mia. She seemed young, incredibly so.

“Should you see her, you're to contact the police immediately. Send someone to the phone shack and keep the children inside until authorities arrive.”

“She has no rights to her own children?”

Tommy studied her for a moment before answering with an observation of his own. “Many Bridge parents feel strongly that birth parents don't need to be near their children, that it's the parents' fault the children are in such a dire situation.”

Sarah thought of what
Mammi
had said. “
Ya
. I understand that perspective, and certainly the most important thing is for Mateo and Mia to be safe. But what I'm wondering is…does that mean she will never see her children again? Because she's made a mistake—”

“Several,” Tommy said softly.

“
Ya
, several mistakes, especially taking them last night. But does that mean she gets no other chances? What if Mateo and Mia…” She brushed at the tears slipping down her cheeks. “What if they want to see her? They're frightened now, but when they're older, then…well, then they might feel differently.”

Tommy wrote something in his folder, and then he put the picture in the folder and the folder in his bag. Finally, he sat forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. “Mateo and Mia will always have a right to see their mother if they wish and if it is safe. However, Elisa will have to prove that she's taken the necessary steps to change her lifestyle. She'll have to show that she can provide an adequate living arrangement. We will help her, but she has to be willing to make the changes.”

Sarah nodded, relief flooding her heart. She wanted Mateo and Mia with her forever, but she didn't want to be responsible for severing a bond as natural as that of a mother and child. She didn't want to have that on her conscience, burdening her soul. She didn't want to be the person who had refused to give Elisa Lopez one more chance.

“For now she is not allowed contact with them until she is evaluated by DHS. What she did yesterday was wrong. It wasn't your fault or Mateo's fault…it was Elisa's fault. We'll do everything within our power to make sure it doesn't happen again.”

CHAPTER 56

P
aul stayed away from the Yoder household the first full day the kids were back. He told himself they needed time alone, but his eyes kept drifting toward their farm, his mind kept wandering to thoughts of the entire family, but especially to Sarah.

On Thursday afternoon the piglets were delivered, and he knew he wouldn't be able to resist any longer. He snatched up the newspaper Rebecca had given him and grabbed the keys to the tractor. He could walk, but he wanted to be able to bring Isaac and Mateo back to see the piglets. He didn't think Sarah would want them walking.

Sarah surprised him though.

“Careful walking on the road,” she called after Luke, Isaac, and Mateo. All three had insisted on going as soon as they heard the news.

She shook her head and sat back down in the rocker chair where she'd been hand-sewing a new dress for Mia.

“Seems they've all grown since I saw them last.”

“Two days ago?”

“
Ya
, I'm sure Mateo is an inch taller, and Luke looks more like a man than a boy.” He laughed at himself and then nodded toward her sewing. “I thought the ladies brought you plenty of clothes.”

“They did, but…well, I had some material left from my dress and thought Mia would like something new.”

“I'm sure she'll love it.” Paul cleared his throat. “It surprises me a little that you're letting them walk to my place. I was worried that after what happened—”

“That I would try to keep them under my wings?” She tucked her chin and glanced up at him, reminding him comically of his mother. Sarah Yoder was nothing like his mother. Or was she? Physically they were certainly very different. Paul's mother was tall and heavy from years of birthing children and cooking for a large family. But their attitude and demeanor? Both had a healthy dose of common sense, didn't mind showing their emotions, and were hard workers. Yes, they were more alike than he had realized.

Sarah had returned her attention to her project, though she was still answering Paul's unasked question. “I can't keep my eyes on them all the time. If anything, the last week has taught me that. But Mateo…he's a smart boy. He'll be more careful now, and I can trust him whether he's alone or with Mia. He's a
gut
boy. He'll watch out for his
schweschder
, just like he did Tuesday night.”

“While we're on the subject of the other night, Rebecca sent this over for you.” He held up the paper, folded to show the front page story.

He knew Sarah recognized Elisa immediately because she dropped her fabric into her lap and reached for the newspaper. “I didn't know they were going to print anything about it.”

“The story was written by your friend Chloe.”

He'd read it through several times himself, but he listened as Sarah read it aloud.

On Tuesday evening an Amber Alert was issued for two children taken from a Cody's Creek home.

Sarah glanced up at Paul. “She doesn't mention their names?”

“
Nein
. It's not allowed to put the names of young children in the newspaper. Not unless their parents approve it.”

Sarah nodded and continued reading.

Taken by Elisa Lopez, the children were recovered unharmed several hours later and returned to the Yoder family. Sheriff Bynum from the Cody's Creek Police Department would like to extend his sincere thanks to those who called in tips and facilitated the return of the children.

She continued reading silently for a moment, information about Elisa's car, a description of her companion, and a brief history of Amber Alerts and how many were issued each year. Shaking her head, she returned the paper to Paul.

“You don't want to keep it?”

“
Nein
. I'd rather not dwell on what happened.”

“I'm sorry. I thought you'd want to see it.”

“I am glad you brought it. Don't misunderstand me. It's only that I think we have to move on.”

“Well, at least local folks will have seen Elisa's photo.”

“And they'll have a description of the car.”

“If she's spotted anywhere in the area, I'm sure they'll call it in.” Paul finally sat in the chair next to Sarah. He wasn't sure that she'd want him to stay, but she seemed to be enjoying their conversation almost as much as he was. It occurred to him that she had little chance to talk to many other adults except her brothers and
Mammi
.

“The article will put people on alert. That is a
gut
thing, but the publicity? We could do without that. I want the children to have a normal life, and they can't do that if they're in the newspaper.”

“Spoken like a true Amish
mamm
,” he teased.

Instead of rising to the bait, she gave him another look. This one caused Paul's hands to sweat. He thought about leaning forward, about kissing her, and then those thoughts were interrupted by the banging of the front door.

Mia ran across the porch, clutching something in her hand. She squatted down in front of him and smoothed out a sheet of paper that had become quite rumpled. “Paul! Look what I drawed.”

“What you drew,” Sarah corrected.

“What I drewed.” Mia climbed up onto Paul's lap, clutching the paper. “That's you—”