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Authors: Vannetta Chapman

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“How is everyone this morning?”

Nine heads, including Sarah's, bobbed up and down.

They were good. They were together.

“This is both a review hearing and a permanency hearing for the placement of Mateo and Mia Lopez into the home of Sarah Yoder.”

“Yes, your honor.” Tommy Cronin sat across from them. He seemed as pale as the last time Sarah had seen him, and if anything his red hair was cut even shorter than before. The large black glasses were the same. He stood, pressed his tie down flat, and cleared his throat. “We submitted all of the standard paperwork to the court, including the home visit reports, initial family medical evaluations and background checks, and letters of reference.”

“I see that.” Judge Murphy shuffled papers for a few moments before closing the folder and removing her glasses. She directed her comments to Sarah. “I've thoroughly reviewed the information Mr. Cronin sent me. Thank you for complying completely and quickly with this court's requests. You've made my job easier.”

The court reporter sat at her small typewriter, recording every word said. She was young—probably Sarah's age—and rarely looked up from her work.

Now the judge turned her gaze toward the children. “At our last visit I had the opportunity to meet with your brothers.”

Andy, Henry, Luke, and Isaac each offered a small wave.

“And I also visited with both Mateo and Mia.”

Mateo offered a similar wave. Mia turned and whispered to Sarah. At first Sarah nodded, hoping to appease the child, but then she began to shake her head. Mia placed both hands on Sarah's face. “Please, Sarah. Please.”

Tommy Cronin must have noticed what was happening because he hurried across the aisle to see what the issue was. Sarah whispered Mia's request. Tommy straightened up, turned to the judge, and said, “My client, Mia Lopez, would like permission to approach the bench, your honor.”

“Oh. Well, that's a bit unusual, but all right.”

Mia jumped from Sarah's lap and ran to the front of the room, pausing a few feet from the judge to straighten her apron. Sarah had thought perhaps Mia shouldn't wear her
kapp
today. She had even considered purchasing
Englisch
clothes for Mia and Mateo. In the end Mateo had claimed that would be a foolish use of their money, and Mia had insisted she wanted to wear her Plain clothing. “Like you, Sarah.”

And so earlier that morning,
Mammi
had wound her dark tresses into a braid, pinned it in a coil, and fastened the
kapp
onto her head. Now Mia stopped a few feet from the judge, disentangled her
kapp
strings from where they'd fallen into the bunch of flowers, and smiled up at the judge. She hurried to the side of the bench, where Judge Murphy was waiting.

“I got these for Sarah,” Mia was attempting to whisper, but as usual her excitement raised her voice. They could all hear the girl's explanation. “I want to give them to you now. Look! The purple matches your glasses.”

She pushed the flowers into the judge's hands and added, “Sarah says it's okay.”

“Why, thank you, Mia.”

“They smell
gut
, see?” The young girl moved the flowers closer to the judge's face. When Judge Murphy laughed, everyone else in the courtroom did as well.

“I love them.”

Pleased, Mia turned and scampered back to Sarah, practically bouncing into her lap.

The judge reclaimed her seat, put on her glasses, and once again shuffled through the papers in the folder.

“There has been one new development in this case since we last met. I would like to address this with Sarah and Mia and Mateo in my chambers.” She pulled off her glasses and looked solemnly from Mateo to Mia to Sarah. Then she cleared her throat and said, “We were successful in contacting the children's mother.”

CHAPTER 80

M
ateo wasn't afraid of the judge, but neither did he want to leave his brothers and walk to the judge's office. Isaac, who always knew what he was thinking, pulled their school paper from his pocket and pushed it into Mateo's hands.

“Take this with you. Maybe it will help.”

The paper had been folded a number of times and easily fit into Mateo's pocket. He nodded his thanks, and then he followed Sarah, his sister, and their social worker out of the courtroom.

Instead of moving behind her desk, the judge sat in a large upholstered chair with a footstool. She motioned to the other chairs that were positioned around her. Sarah sat in one, and Mia crawled onto her lap. Tommy sat in the other, which left the footstool for Mateo. He didn't mind, but he would have felt more comfortable just sitting on the rug.

“I wanted to read this letter to you in private, though it will be a part of your permanent record. Your mother wrote the letter in Spanish, but I had it translated into English. Can you read Spanish, Mateo?”


Ya
. My teacher has been working with me. He says it's good for me to be bilingual.”

“Indeed it is.” She handed a copy to Mateo. “I'll read it aloud in English, and you can follow along in Spanish.”

When Mateo touched the paper, he felt so many things at once that he thought he might fall off the stool.

He felt relief that his mother was alive. She must be alive if she'd written a letter.

He felt fear that this would change everything, that he would lose his place in the Yoder family.

And a very small part of him, a part that was as young as Mia and as naive, felt hope that perhaps the letter would contain good news.

Judge Murphy cleared her voice and began to read.

Dear Mateo and Mia,

I am very sorry that I did not come back to the old trailer. I meant to, but I didn't—and that was wrong. I regret that. I also know that is was wrong to snatch you off the road and drag you to Tulsa. I regret many things in my life. The one thing I'm proud of is the two of you.

The social worker here explained to me that Sarah wants to take care of you. God is good.

Gracias a Dios.
Mateo read the Spanish words and wondered if that meant his mother believed in God. He realized the judge was still reading and scanned down the page to catch up with her.

I want you to have what I couldn't give you—food and clothes and a place to stay. Maybe you can even go to school now.

Judge Murphy turned the paper over to the back, but she didn't continue reading right away. Instead she looked over her glasses at Sarah and Mia and Mateo. Sarah had tears in her eyes, and both of her arms were around Mia, who was sucking her thumb. Mateo tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat. He felt as if he'd eaten too many of Sarah's cookies all at once. He was glad the judge was reading. He couldn't see the words on his sheet very well because his eyes were full of tears. So he nodded and hoped she would continue.

I want to be with you both. I do, but I am too sick to be a mommy right now. I am doing better, so don't worry about me. I am living at the shelter. We have two meals a day here and are even able to see doctors. Some days I think that I will get better, but other days I'm not so sure. That's not what is important, though. The important thing is that I love you both, and I always will.

No one said anything for a few moments. Judge Murphy placed the paper in her folder, and she motioned for Mateo to keep the copy he was holding. He didn't know what to do with it—this goodbye note from his mother—so he folded it and put it in his pocket, and that was when he found the school paper. He pulled it out and unfolded it, staring at his writing and Isaac's.

And then he did something he had dreamt of doing. He handed the sheet to the judge.

“Is this something you wrote?”

“Yes. It was an assignment in school. Brian, our teacher, told us to buddy up with someone and trace each other's hands.”

“Brian is Amish?” The judge had pulled off her glasses, but now she put them back on.

Mateo shrugged because he didn't know if Brian was Amish or not. He turned and looked at Sarah.

“He became Amish,” she said. “He was raised
Englisch
.”

Tommy leaned forward, to get a better look at the paper.

Judge Murphy motioned for Mateo to go on.

“So you trace and cut out the other person's hand. Inside the hand, you write three things that are special about that person. But you don't show it to them. Not yet. So we…we couldn't see what each other was writing.”

The judge's eyebrow went up, and now Sarah was interested. She shifted Mia, who had fallen asleep in her lap and leaned forward. Mateo and Isaac hadn't shown the paper to Sarah when they brought it home. They had wanted to surprise her after the court day was over. Sarah always smiled at their work. She was proud of what they did and collected the papers in a box. So their plan had been to show it to her at dinner, later that day. But then Mateo had told Isaac about his dream.

In the dream he'd walked into the courthouse alone. The place was dark and quiet, and he'd been a little frightened. When he'd found the right courtroom and walked in, Sarah had been sitting at the back—crying. Mateo hadn't known what to do. He'd never seen Sarah cry before. So he'd walked to the front of the room, where the judge was washing dishes.

“There's no sink or dishes in the courtroom.” Isaac had laughed and held his stomach and laughed some more. Eventually, Mateo had begun to laugh with him, and he'd felt less upset about the dream.

“Then what happened?” Isaac asked.

“I gave her the paper from school.”

“What happened after that?” Now Isaac's voice was quiet and serious.

“I don't know. The rooster crowed and I woke up.”

Isaac had insisted they should take it with them to the courthouse.

“This is your hand?” Judge Murphy pointed to the hand that was shaded brown around the edges.

“Yes. And that is Isaac's. When we were done, Brian told us to paste them together on a sheet. He told us to remember that God gave us friends and family as a blessing.”

Isaac's handwriting was better than Mateo's, but Mateo was proud of his nonetheless. He wasn't in a special class anymore. He learned with all of the other kids, and he was keeping up.

Across Mateo's hand, Isaac had written—
he's brave, he can fish good, he's my bruder
.

Across Isaac's hand, Mateo had written—
he's funny, I can trust him, he's my hermano
.”

Mateo pointed to the Spanish word. “Brian says it's okay for me to use Spanish when I want to. I think of Isaac as my real brother—my blood brother—so I wanted to write it in Spanish.”

He thought of his mother's letter in his pocket, written in Spanish, in the language that they shared. He pictured the words
Gracias a Dios
and hoped that she understood God would look after each of them, no matter their language.

“Thank you for showing me this, Mateo. You boys both do very good work, and it's nice to see how much you care for each other.” Judge Murphy handed him back his sheet. He refolded it and stuck it in his pocket, next to his mother's letter.

Sarah was studying him.

Judge Murphy had stood up and was placing her folder on her desk.

Tommy was fiddling with his glasses.

Suddenly Mateo's eyes filled with tears again. He'd been so worried about this day, and now it was nearly over.

Judge Murphy returned to the chair she had been sitting in. She leaned forward and studied Mateo. Finally, she said, “You told me before that you'd like to stay with Sarah. That you felt safe and happy there. How do you feel now?”

Mateo swallowed past the lump in his throat and glanced at Sarah. She nodded her head. She gave him the courage to go on.

“I love my
mamá
. I always will, but I remember living in the old trailer, behind the abandoned barn, and before that behind the store where she worked, and before that in a tiny, dirty apartment. My
mamá
did the best she could, but maybe she needs to focus on taking care of herself.”

“We can give you all the time you want, Mateo. This isn't a decision we have to make today.”

“It doesn't matter if you ask me today or
mañana
.” Sometimes Mateo's thoughts still came out in Spanish. Sarah told him that was a good thing. That he could be proud of being Hispanic and of being Plain. “I love my old family and my new one, but I want to live with Sarah.”

The judge nodded, carefully considering his words, and then she said something that did make Sarah cry. That part of his dream came true too. “Then I'm going to approve permanent placement for you and Mia in the home of Sarah Yoder.”

CHAPTER 81

T
he fact that they'd been in the courtroom an hour gave Paul hope. A simple no wouldn't have taken so long.

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