Sarah's Promise (21 page)

I paid for a room for a week even though I didn’t like spending the extra cash. I knew I could prob’ly stay with Mr. Willings, but I didn’t want to be leaning on his kindness if I didn’t have to do things that way.

I did use his telephone to call Sarah back. I told her everything that banker had said. She seemed glad, she really did, even though she’d been crying before. She said she was happy to be part of the life I chose, whatever it was. And I told her I couldn’t imagine being more blessed. God gave me a gift when he turned Sarah’s heart in my direction. No doubt about that. I didn’t think there’d ever be a way I could thank him enough.

When I finished that call, I knew I’d have to make one more. To Sam, who’d be expecting me back through Jacksonville today or tomorrow if I didn’t tell him otherwise. I really didn’t want to explain anything to him because he might want to get himself here in time for the meeting tomorrow. But surely he wouldn’t be able to on account of his job. And anyway, I could tell him plain I didn’t want that.

He was mad. He said Uncle Milty would be too, about me buying but not from them. I hadn’t even thought things through to anticipate that, but Sam was really angry.

“I would have signed a note just between you an’ me, Franky. You could’ve been in my house already! Now we still don’t have a sure buyer, and you’re going to somebody you don’t even know.”

“Their place fits me better,” I tried to explain. “The house and the shop both. And both yards. It’s just what I need.”

But he wouldn’t hear me and called me selfish and ungrateful. I apologized, even though I didn’t think I needed to. The way I saw it, I never had any obligation to buy from him or from Milton Pratt. I’d never made any promises.

“You’re just asking for heartache being so bullheaded,” he told me. “If you don’t wanna work with me and Uncle Milty, why should I run all the way over there to help you? We coulda already had things squared away a whole lot easier.”

“Sam, I ain’t askin’ for help. There’s no need you runnin’ over here.”

“You ain’t askin’ for help?”

Why that hadn’t sunk in, I don’t know. “Nope.”

“Is Sarah coming up?”

“Not yet. We got no plans for that till after the wedding.”

“Franky, you’re crazy! When are you signing papers?”

“I meet with the banker again tomorrow. Not sure how long it’ll all take. But the owner led me to believe that I could be in the commercial building as soon as next week if all goes well at the bank, which is what I expect.”

He was quiet for a moment. “You’re blowing your money staying in town over there, aren’t you?”

“I’m paying for a room, yeah. But I don’t consider the money blown. I’m gettin’ a start.”

“God love you, Frank.” His voice sounded softer. “I wish you’d listen to me. You’re gonna get yourself roped in over there and end up half broke and disappointed.”

“No. It won’t be like that. You’ll see.”

“I hope not. For Sarah’s sake most of all. You’re bein’ a fool. Renting Pratt’s would make more sense. It’d be easy to step away if things don’t work out. And buying from me there wouldn’t be no problem if you had trouble. I’d be patient when you need it and find another buyer if it ever come to you wantin’ to go back home.”

It was hard to keep talking to him. “I know what you had in mind, Sam. And I don’t want your guarantees. You can call me bullheaded all you want. I still love you. But I aim to make a life on my own. I just called so you’d know I won’t be back over there no time soon.”

“Are you gonna tell this to Uncle Milty, or should I? He’s still got his heart set on somebody running his store for him.”

“I’m sure he can find somebody. A young fella I met at church is ready to start lookin’ for a job. I might mention it to him.”

“Don’t know if Uncle Milty’ll like that or not.”

I shook my head even though Sam couldn’t see it. “I’d just as soon be his friend, you know that, but I never signed on to spend my time tryin’ to please him.”

He laughed, just a little. “I shoulda known with you. If there’s one thing you always been, it’s unpredictable. Lord knows where you’ll end up.”

“You’re right,” I answered solemnly. “I expect he’s the only one.”

Laying awake in bed that night, I prayed for Sam and Mr. Pratt. I prayed for Mr. Bellor and the banker and that meeting tomorrow. I prayed for Mr. Willings too, and his church. When he’d learned I was thinking to stay, he’d been real happy about it. He asked me to speak again. He said their pastor was in the hospital and he’d been doing his best to fill in and find speakers when he could. I prayed for that pastor, even though I didn’t know his name. From what Mr. Willings said, he wasn’t far from going home to be with the Lord.

I started re-thinking everything while I was laying there. Sam thought I was a fool to do things this way. I didn’t agree. Not the way he meant it. I had to find a way to do on my own without my brothers stepping in thinking they needed to. But here? Sarah was being mighty good about it. But was it really right?

I couldn’t hardly sleep. I got up and walked around my little rented room, praying about this whole thing. What was I thinking, anyway? I didn’t even know anybody here.

But that’s the kind of challenge I knew I’d been longing for. To put myself in a spot and make things work, just to prove I could. Was that selfish pride? There wasn’t nothing stopping me from makin’ a go a’ things down by Mt. Vernon somewhere. Sarah’d like that better. Why here?

It all come down to what the Lord wanted for us. And me yielding my heart to realize that nothing was going to work for me anywhere without him in the middle of it. I couldn’t stand on my own two feet without his foundation under me and his strong hands holding me up. I told him I was sorry, just in case I’d lost sight of that. I told him I was willing to quit now and go home, or anywhere else he might want me. And right then while I was praying that, I had the strangest feeling I was supposed to go see Mr. Willings again. Now.

But that was crazy. It was almost midnight. He’d think I’d lost my mind if I come banging on his door right now. And I didn’t know anything I needed to talk to Mr. Willings about anyhow. I tried to keep on praying. I even sat on the edge of the bed, thinking I’d lay back down and try to get some sleep. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

Go see Mr. Willings.

“He’s gonna think I’m crazy,” I told myself. “He’s gonna wonder if I been out drinkin’ or somethin’.”

But I put on my coat and I went, slow, trying to talk myself out of it the whole way.

There was a light on in his house. At least I might not be waking him. But I still felt bad going up to the door. What in the world was I gonna tell him? I knocked, feeling ashamed to ring the doorbell. I knew he was a widower and lived alone, so I wouldn’t be waking nobody else, but I thought it better to just knock once or twice. If he didn’t hear me, I’d go.

He heard me. He come to the door a lot quicker than I expected, and he was dressed like he was ready to go someplace. Of course he was surprised to see me.

“Franklin Hammond. What can I do for you tonight?” He seemed troubled.

“I’m not knowin’ nothing I need you to do,” I told him. “I just couldn’t get it out of my head wonderin’ if there’s something
you
need.”

He just looked at me a minute, and then he opened the door wider. “Come in.”

I didn’t know what to say. He was awful quiet. I followed him to his sitting room, but he didn’t sit and neither did I. Instead, he took hold of his Bible and a pair of reading glasses from a corner table and then turned and looked at me.

“I do have a need. Our pastor’s wife called. She’s convinced that he’s about to pass, and she would like me to be there. But I have difficulty driving so far at night. I told her I might have to wait till morning, bad as I hate to when she’s asked for me.”

He looked down at the floor. I didn’t know much of anything about him or his pastor, but I could tell they must have been good friends. “Would you like me to drive you? You’ll have to direct me, ’cause I got no idea where they are, but I can see fine to drive at night if that’s the trouble.”

“The St. Mary’s hospital in Quincy, son. And I’d greatly appreciate it. The good Lord must have sent you. I was wondering if there might be someone I could call on as late as this.”

“I’ll get you there. My truck’s right outside.”
Thank you, God, for speaking to my heart
, I prayed in silence
. Thank you for getting through my thick skull enough that I could listen.

He had his coat on quick and was ready to go. I reminded him he oughta take a hat on account of the cold and then remembered I’d forgotten my own. Again.

We were pretty quiet on the way to Quincy, and I was glad we hadn’t had more of the kind of weather Sarah and her folks had gotten down there. Mr. Willings only spoke when he had to direct me, till we were past three other little towns. Then he cleared his throat and started talking a little more.

“Pastor Ells has been a blessing to so many. I’m glad to have known his friendship since we were young men. I’m glad to have known his heart.”

There was nothing I knew to reply to that, so I only listened. And in a moment, he went on.

“Sometimes when someone passes away it feels like the close of an era. I suppose this’ll be like that. And I may feel like I’m living past my time.”

“I don’t think anybody does that,” I had to answer. “All our times are in the Lord’s hands.”

“Yes,” he said solemnly. “Of course you’re right.”

I kept thinking maybe that pastor wouldn’t die tonight. Maybe it wasn’t the Lord’s time for that yet. But sometimes it is. I’d been through enough to know.

I wasn’t sure how we’d be received coming into the hospital in the middle of the night. Ordinarily, I think they would have turned us away till morning. But there was a nephew downstairs waiting, hoping Mr. Willings would be able to come, and they’d already gotten permission from the staff on the pastor’s behalf.

I felt very out of place. I didn’t know any of these people. I offered to stay in the truck, or at least downstairs. But Mr. Willings insisted that I should come along. I was a brother in Christ, he said. The one chosen to be with him tonight.

First thing we did was pray for the family. And then Mr. Willings went in the room to see his old friend. I stayed in the hall. Everybody did, except Mr. Willings and the pastor’s wife. They stayed in the room a long time, and then we prayed some more while others of the family took their turns to be at the bedside.

We’d been there almost two hours when the pastor left this world. It was bittersweet, so much sadness put together with the family singing hymns, and the comfort of knowing the blessings that man’d gone on to receive. I prayed quiet most of that time, not sure why the Lord had seen fit to include me in this.

The pastor’s wife was strong. I knew it must have been an awful blow, but she was handling it a whole lot better than many people handle such things. My pa had fell apart when Mama died, and then when my brother got killed, he was so bad he just couldn’t go on. I prayed for this lady and her family. She was old and really little, but sturdy. In some ways she reminded me of Emma Graham, the neighbor lady who’d done so much for us and left her farm to the Worthams. I still missed her sometimes, because she didn’t treat me no different than the rest of my brothers, except maybe to give me a little extra attention now and then.

That’d been so awful long ago. Before my blasted limp, and a whole lot of loss. I sighed, pushing away those kinda thoughts. This man’d had two sons and a daughter, and they were all here. I prayed for them, pretty much knowing what they must be feeling at a time like this.
Lord God, give them peace.

When there was nothing else to be done and Mr. Willings was ready to go, the newly widowed old lady came up an’ give me a hug. “God bless you, young man,” she said.

“Thank you,” I struggled to answer her. “God bless you too, ma’am. I’m real sorry for your loss.”

“My loss is Herman’s gain,” she replied, squeezing tight onto her dampened hanky. “Thank the Lord for the promise of heaven.” She seemed to be searching me. “Are you the one that spoke at the church last Sunday night? I heard you did a fine job.”

“Thank you, ma’am. That was me.”

“Do come back. I’d be pleased to hear you.”

I nodded. She went on down the hall with one of her sons, and Mr. Willings and me went back outside to the truck.

“Are you too tired to drive back?” he asked me. “We’ve been up most the night.”

“I’ll be fine.”

I wasn’t too sure about the first turn out of Quincy, but after that it wasn’t hard to retrace the way I’d come. Good thing, because Mr. Willings fell asleep in his seat. I was beat by the time we got to Camp Point but not about to show it. I woke Mr. Willings and helped him inside. I wasn’t expecting it, but he asked me to stay. He said he didn’t feel like being there alone right then, even though he knew he wouldn’t be doing nothing but sleeping.

In the morning he called the bank and didn’t go in. I’d stretched out on his couch just to be close if he needed something. He’d seemed awful feeble on the way in the house last night. I wasn’t sure if it was the sadness or the weariness, but I was glad to stay because I was concerned for him. He moved slow that morning too, and he had a lot of telephone calls to make. Everybody from the church needed to know. There’d be a funeral, and the church women’d be called on to feed the family afterward.