Sati (3 page)

'Daddy, why aren't you sleeping?'Jenny asked.

'Because that wicked man your mother's seeing saysthere is to be no rest for your poor daddy until..."

'Mike!'Linda said.

'I'm not tired,'I toldmy daughter, squeezing her tightly. And for am oment, I really wasn't I felt just fine.

'I heard you coming in this morning,'Mrs Hutchinson said, scissors in her wrinkled hand, a note of approval in her voice. She,was a firm believer in hard work. She was seventy-three, and up until two years earlier, she had worked full-time as a tailor in an expensive clothes store in Beverly Hills. Arthritic fingers had finally made her throw in the sewing needles. The scissors she was holding were for Jenny's use. She no longer had the strength to squeeze them shut.

I let go of Jenny.' And I smelt your coffee on my way up the stairs,'I said.'I t made me want to stop in and say hello.'I nodded to her rose bushes.'I love those flowers. I don't know anyone who can bring them to life like you.'I'm such a smooth dude. It was no wonder the old lady liked me, even with my cursed and unbelieving soul.

Mrs Hutchinson beamed.' Thank you. I've told your daughter she was to set aside a special dozen for you.’

'See, Daddy, where one of them bit me,'Jenny said, showing me her blood-smeared thumb. I gave it a kiss, wondering again where Satiwas.

'That's very kind of you,'I said to Mrs Hutchinson.' By the way, have you seen Fred since he finished his paper route?'

'A moment ago. He was returning from the super-market.'

'A moment ago? He mustn't have gone to school.'

‘That he certainly did not do,'Mrs Hutchinson said, not pleased.' He had some girl with him.'

'A blonde?'

'That's the one.'

I glanced at Linda, who was not enjoying being ignored.' Could you wait here a sec?'I asked.' I have to check on something.'

'Do you know this girl?'Linda asked. She'd always had uncanny radar.

'Not really. But justgive me a minute.'

Inthe closet-like apartment that David Stone had given to Fred in exchange for neatly trimmed lawns and a carefully maintained swimming pool, I found Sati rolling dough and Fred opening a jar of cherries. Fred jumped al ittle when I entered. The door had been left open and I hadn't knocked. Sati paused long enough to wave hello with her rolling-pin.

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'Get the papers delivered?'I asked.

'Yeah,'Fred said quickly.

'Good,'I said.' How's the truck?'

'I put it back in your parking spot,'Sati said."T he keys are on top of your icebox.'

'Any problems?'I asked.

'No,'she said.

'Great'I sat down. Something was going on. Fred wouldn't look at me.' What happened to school?'

'I didn't go,'Fred said.

'Right Why didn't you go?'

Fred glanced at Sati. She had put her hair up in a bun. Her white dress was sprinkled with white flour.

'He's helping me get ready for tonight,'she said.

'Tonight?'I said.' What's tonight?'

'We're having refreshments tonight after my meeting,'she said.

'What meeting?'I asked.

Now Fred was looking at the floor. Sati, however, was as cool as ever.' Fred,'she said,' give Michael one of our flyers.'

'I don't know,'Fred said.

Sati smiled at his discomfort'I'llgive him one,'she said. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, she removed a notebook-sized sheet from the top of Fred's waist-high icebox and took a seat beside me. She handed me the paper. The lettering was standard typewriter characters. The page was obviously a photocopy.

ATTENTION!

My name is Sati. I am God. I would like to invite you to a special meeting I will be holding tonight at eight o'clock at12 45g rd Street, apartment 3. Refreshments will be served. I am looking forward to meeting with as many of you as possible.

I stared at Sati for a moment.

'I thought you said you weren't an actress?'I said.

'I'm not,'she said.

'Thisis apartment three. You couldn't fit five people in here.'

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'Then we'll have the meeting at your place,'she said.

I folded the flyer in two and frowned.' What are you up to?'

Her big blue eyes were mischievous.' Come to the meeting and find out'

I snorted.' Who will be there? Who's seen these flyers besides us?'

'Many ofthe people on Fred's paper route,'she said.

'What''I exclaimed.' Fred,you didn't put them in with your papers?'

Fred was talking to the wall.'W e didn't exactly put them inside the papers.'

'We put them onthe outside,'Sati explained.' Underneaththe rubber band. Ithinkthe flyer is catchy. I typed it on Fred's typewriter right after you went to bed. I made copies atthe Seven-Eleven store roundth e corner.'

Hadthe circumstances been different,I probably wouldn't have blown up. If someone thinks she's God and wants to tell others,that's her business. But Linda's waking me up and talking about Dick a minute later had put me in a bad mood. Plus I wasn't exacdy full of physical pep. In fact,I suddenly had a splitting headache.

'Sati, do you have any idea what you've done?'I asked, not even trying to disguise my anger.

'I know,'she said.

'Quit telling methat! You know nothing! Just last week this young man here flattened a poodle. He came within an inch of getting fired. Andthatwas an accident How do youthinkthe
Times
is going to feel about having this garbage purposely peddled insidetheir paper?'

'No one will complain tothe paper,'Sati said,unmoved by my ouburst.

'You don't knowthat!'

'But I do.'

'Don't get mad, Mike,'Fred said meekly.' I've never had a party here before. I'd kind of like one.'

'She's not talking about a party! She's talking about a goddamn meeting!'

Sati smiled.' It won't be a goddamn meeting. It's a meeting about myself."

'But you say you're God!'I said.

In soap operas, people always walk in on arguments at preciselythe worst moment. The same axiom applies to my life. Inthe blink of an eye, Linda, Jenny and Mrs Hutchinson were standing inthe doorway.'

Who saysthey're God?'Mrs Hutchinson wanted to know.

Sati pluckedthe flyer from my paws and handed it to the old lady, casually returning to her rolling-pin and cookie dough. Linda crowded beside Mrs Hutchinson. Togetherthe two ofthem readthe good news
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for modern man their faces quickly darkening. Jenny stood staring at Satiin awe, a bunch of red roses in her tiny hands.

'Did you writethis?' Mrs Hutchinson demanded, her eyes narrowing on Sati.

'Yes.'Sati sprinkled al ittle sugar over her dough.' You are also welcome to attendthe meeting.'

'This is blasphemy,'Mrs Hutchinson breathed, trembling. Because she was so old, I worried about her heart,which made me allthe angrier at Sati.

'This Is ridiculous,'Linda sneered.' Mike, who is this girl?'

My attention was drawn to my daughter. Her awed expression was frozen on her face. She stood mesmerised, watching Sati make her cookies.' I don't know,"I said to Linda.

'He picked up Sadlast night on his way home,'Fred said with his usual good timing.

'Is that true?'Linda asked.

'Yes,'Sati said, with no skin offher back.

'Swell,'Linda said.' You're to watch your daughter for the day and you bring home a blonde to play with

.'

I got to my feet and yelled at my wife.' She's not a blonde I brought home to play with! She's just a girl.

She needed a ride. I was trying to help her out, all right? What's wrong with that?'

'What's wrong with that is she's trying to start a religion!'Linda yelled back.

'I won't be starting a religion this time,'Sati remarked, reaching for a cup of water.

'There'll be none of these cults gathering beside my home,'Mrs Hutchinson said indignantly.

Things might have gone on the way they were,or have got worse, if my daughter hadn't acted her age upon absorbing the news that God was in the room. Stepping forward, shining with innocence, she offered her flowers to Sati.' Would you likethese?' Jenny asked.

Sati put down her rolling-pin and knelt beside Jenny, 'Whatever you give me, I will take,'she said gently, rubbing a white spot of flour between my daughter's eyebrows.'I'llsee you tonight, Jennifer.'

The tension suddenly eased, inside and outside. Little girls are good at defusing mobs. Later, I decided, would be time enough to worry about Fred's job and a confused deity. The others appeared to come to a similar conclusion. Mrs Hutchinson muttering under her breath, left to finish withher rose bushes. Not looking at Sati, Linda tookJenny's hand and led her out of Fred's claustrophobic apartment. Fred shrugged in my direction and returned to studyingthe label on the cherries. I knew he'd have a good excuse as to how Sati talked him into distributingthe flyers. I would listen to it another time. I went after my family. Sati called goodbye to my back.

Linda was waiting for me in front ofthe apartments, near her car, pacingthe pavement. Jenny had returned to helping Mrs Hutchinson withthe flowers.

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'Sorry aboutthat, Linda,'I said.

She suddenly stopped her fretting,the hardness slipping from her mouth. She laughed.' You sure know how to pickthem.'

Just likethat, justthat easy, one friendly line, and I knew I would bethinking about her all day. But I wouldn't wonder why she was withDick instead of me. I still didn't know how I'd got her to marry me in the first place, how I'd talked her into it. She was right, we were meant to go our different ways. She was going to be happy and I was going to be miserable.

'I used up all my luck on my first choice,'I said.

Linda hesitated.' That was sweet, Mike.'

I gave her a brief kiss onthe forehead and turned away. I wanted to end on a nice note.' Have fun today, Linda. I'll see you tonight. Maybe we can go tothat meeting together.'

I didn't know why I saidthat.

THREE

Jenny was glad my car wasn't available, and that we had to go to the bank in my truck. She loved being up high while riding down the road. I'd had an expensive stereo installed to keep me amused on the long road. She always had me crank it up on a heavy metal station. Five years old and she was an OzzyOsbo urne fan. Once I'd suggested to her child psychologist that her favourite music might be related to her nightmares. The dude had smiled; he thought I was old-fashioned.

But today Jenny did not want music. She wanted to talk. 'Daddy, Mrs Hutchinson said the pretty woman was a bad person.'

'You mean Sati?'

'Sati,' she repeated, apparendy liking the sound of the word.' Is she really bad?'

'No. She's just...different.'

'Why is God different''

'You mean, why is God indifferent,'I said.

'Huh?'

'Never mind.'My major in college, before I'd drop-ped out, had been philosophy, but neither Linda nor I attended church. I had no idea what Jenny was thinking of when she used the word God.' Jenny, Sati isn't God. She's just a person like you and me.'

'But she said she was God.'

'Jenny, do you know who God is?'

'Yes.'

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'Who?'

'He's the person who made Santa Claus.' Kids kill me.' OK,Maybe he did make Santa Claus. But if he's a man, you can see how he can't be Sati.'

'Why not?'

'Because Sati is a woman.'

'But Mommy said Godc an do anything. Why couldn't he be a woman?'

'Hmm. I don't know. I guess you're right. I guess God could be a woman, or a penguin for that matter.'

Jenny thought that was funny.* Satisaid I could see her tonight.Can I, Daddy?'

'We'll see.'I paused, remembering my daughter's strange reaction to her.' Why do you want to see her?'

'Cause I like her.'

'Why do you like her? Is it because she's so pretty?'

'Uh-huh. And because she made me happy.'

'She made you happy?'

'Uh-huh.'

'What did she do that made you happy?'I asked.

'She touched my head.'

'Oh.'

Banks remind me of dentists' surgeries. They are wicked places. Evil people work in them. But maybe I have a bad attitude. Seated across from the neatly-attired loan officer-w ith me still in my dirty jeans-I tried to convince myselfmyparanoia was all in my head.

'I'm afraid we can't grant you the loan, Mr Winters,'theyoung man said.

'What do you mean?'I asked. Bad news always takes mea while to assimilate. Sometimes I never understand it.

'We can't give you the money,'the loan officer said.

Jenny squirmed in the seat beside me. Gesturing for hertobe still, I asked,' Why not?'

The young man leaned forward.' You're asking for ahundred and ten thousand dollars to buy twou sed dieseltractors and two used forty-foot trailers.’

'Forty-five-foot trailers,yes?'

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'With the intention of using them to hire two new employees and generate twice as much business. Now this seems to be a poor loan for us to make from every angle. First,each of these tractors has over a hundred thousand miles on it.'

'They'll gofor over three hundred thousand miles,'

'Second, you have no written commitment from eitherof your prospective employees.'

'They can't commit until I've got the trucks.'

'And third, you have no written commitment from the companies with whom you intend to do business.'

'I've given you references from several of my clients,'I said.' They have all said they intend to continue to use my partner and myself. Several have stated they would give us considerably more freight if we had the equipment and manpower to handle it.'

'But they did not commit,'the man insisted.' You have no signed contracts with them.'