Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) (34 page)

Mara tried to regain her composure. He had the power to render her mindless, but this time she would not allow it; she would be master of her own body.

"Tajarez, there is more to love than just the physical side. I am still angry with you, and I admit, more than a little hurt."

"You are still upset about Tanka, are you not?"

"Yes!" she told him, pulling away from him and trying to rise, but Tajarez held her tightly, not allowing her to leave. She watched him as he took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. "I should have explained to you what really happened that night, but I tried to keep it from you, thinking to protect you." He turned his head and looked at her. "Mara, when you fell from your horse, it was no accident. Your cinch was deliberately cut, and Palomas suspected it was Tanka who was responsible. I knew she would not confess, and what you witnessed in her tent that night was not what you thought. I was merely trying to get information from her."

Mara shook her head. "Why would Tanka wish to harm me? I did not even know her."

"I believe you can guess why."

"She wanted you, and she was jealous of me?"

"I believe that is accurate."

"You may as well find her and tell her you will take her back, Tajarez, because I am no longer a threat to her," Mara said angrily.

His hand slipped around her shoulders, making it impossible for her to pull away from him. "Mara, do not say this to me."

She turned to him, and her anger seemed to fade. He could now see the hurt she felt echoed in her green eyes. "Why did you send for me that night, Tajarez? Why would you want me to witness you and Tanka together?"

He closed his eyes, hoping he could make her believe the truth. Great Father, he prayed silently, do not let me lose her now that she is so near to being mine. "Mara, I did not send for you that night. Believe me, for I speak the truth. You were the last person I would have wanted to see in that moment. Anias, in his twisted mind, must have thought if you saw me with Tanka, you would go away with him willingly. I, not knowing of his deceit, played right into his hands."

"I still do not know why Anias took me away, Tajarez."

His eyes flashed dangerously. "Do you not, Mara? Are you not aware of the effect you have on every man you come in contact with?"

"And you think I invite such behavior, Tajarez? You told me you did."

"That was another of my mistakes, Mara. Can you ever forgive the cruel things I have said to you in the past?"

"I could forgive many things, Tajarez, but I will never forgive nor forget the sight of Tanka in your arms. You went to her only moments after rejecting me."

"Mara, as I have told you before, I want there to be truthfulness between us. I will admit to being intimate with Tanka in the past, but I had just held your naked body in my arms and I felt no desire for Tanka. Your face kept flashing through my mind; I doubt I would have been able to lie with Tanka."

Mara placed her hands over her ears. "I do not want to hear any more. Why can you not let me go? I do not want to be your wife."

"Mara, I have been in the lowest depths a man can sink. By trying to hold on to you, it seems I have driven you away. How can I live if you do not belong to me? Give yourself to me, Mara. My need is great for you."

Mara looked across the room at Palomas, her faithful watchdog, who had discreetly turned his back to them. They were speaking in English, so he did not know what was being said.

"I do not know, Tajarez. I need time to think. You have told me much today that is new to me. If you speak the truth, it could explain many things. But it does not explain why you said so many cruel things to me. The day I fell from my horse you were very cruel, Tajarez."

"I know, Mara. I wanted you so badly, I was not sure I could stay away from you. I thought if you were angry with me, you would avoid me. It was another of my mistakes. But I remember something else too, Mara. I remember when the Kiowas attacked us and you thought you were about to die at my hands. I saw that you loved me that day. Have you changed since then?"

"I have never denied that I love you, Tajarez. I just do not think I can live with you."

He picked up her hand and laid it against his face. "Mara, there is more. Many years ago, a wise man of the Lagonda looked into the future and predicted your coming."

"I am not following you, Tajarez."

"Have you ever wondered why you are referred to as the 'Golden One'?"

"Yes. It has to do with the color of my hair, does it not?"

"Partly." He quoted the prophecy to her, and watched as the color drained out of her face.

"What does it mean, Tajarez? You think I am this 'Golden One' that the poem speaks of?"

"It is not a poem, Mara. It is a look into the future. Have you not already told Sagas that you could help him decipher the writing on the wall? That would be the past being revealed."

"Yes, but . . ."

He placed his finger on her lips to silence her. "Mara, do you remember I told you once that I saw you before we met?"

"Yes."

"When I was but sixteen summers, I started having dreams of a woman." He smiled. "I will not tell you about the dreams, I will only tell you that this woman became an obsession with me. When I would awaken after having dreamed of her, I could not remember what she looked like. I searched for her in every girl I met, but could not find her. Then one day, you will remember it was the day after I rescued you from the two men . . ."

Mara nodded. She was having a hard time grasping all he was telling her.

"You had bathed in the river, and when you walked toward me, I recognized you as the woman I had dreamed of so often. But you were much younger than I thought you would be."

"I did not think you liked me very well then."

"My problem was that I loved you and knew I would have to leave you. We were, as you have so often pointed out, from two different worlds. Anyway, when I returned home, Sagas came rushing up to me asking where the 'Golden One' was. It took me a while to make sense of what he was saying. You are the 'Golden One,' Mara, make no mistake about that."

"You came to find me because Sagas sent you," Mara said, feeling crushed.

"I would like to tell you that I would eventually have decided to look for you on my own, but I am just not sure. I do know if I had not found you again, I would have spent the rest of my life loving you and wanting you."

"This is all so confusing, Tajarez. In the first place, I do not believe that one can look into the future."

"Believe it, Mara, for it is true. Sagas has the power."

"The reaction of your people when they saw me today, was it because of the prophecy?"

"Yes," he said, feeling her displeasure like a knife in his heart.

"I do not want to be treated like a goddess, Tajarez. I am flesh and blood, an ordinary woman with ordinary feelings."

"No, not ordinary, Mara, but for sure flesh and blood. I think I have told you everything, leaving nothing out. Now that you have heard the truth, will you be my bride?"

"I am frightened by what I do not understand. A part of me wants to flee; another part of me wants to stay."

He pulled her to him once more. "Stay, Mara. Stay with me."

She looked at his dark, handsome face. There was a look in his eyes that confused her. Was it uncertainty and fear?

"Beloved, say the words I want to hear."

"No, I cannot. I do not want to be hurt again, Tajarez. It would be far better for both of us if I were to return to my home."

He grabbed her and pulled her tightly against him. "Do not leave me, Mara. Remain with me and be my love. I know I have hurt you very badly, but I will try never to do so again."

She knew in that moment she would never have the courage to leave him. He was her whole world, and without him she would be lost and adrift.

He raised her face and looked into her eyes. "Love me, Mara. Give yourself to me," he whispered huskily. "Your green eyes hold the promise of heaven or of the depths of despair. Which is it to be for me, Mara, heaven or despair?"

Mara felt herself weakening. All she had to do was tell him she would be his bride and she would never leave him. She was quiet for so long, Tajarez was afraid she would not answer. When she looked at him, she smiled slightly, and he felt his heart stop.

"I married you once, Tajarez; I will marry you a second time."

Mara felt his arms tighten around her, and she laid her face on his shoulder. Loving him with all her heart and soul, she would most probably be hurt many times in the future, but there would be no future without him.

"Mara, never frighten me like that again. I should punish you for all you have put me through." Then he laughed and looked at the ceiling. "No, perhaps I will kiss you instead." His lips took her breath away as he kissed her deeply. Mara felt loved and cherished; she was not sorry she had relented.

Tajarez stood up and swung her around in a circle; then he led her over to Palomas. "She said 'yes,' Palomas. Mara will be my bride."

Palomas's eyes rested on Mara's face. He saw happiness written there, and in her happiness, he felt happy also.

"Did you doubt that she would say yes, my prince?"

"Oh, yes, I doubted it." Tajarez laughed and hugged her to him once more. "Let us tell my father. I want him to perform the ceremony as quickly as possible."

Mara pulled back, a plan forming in her mind. "Wait, Tajarez. Let me be the one to tell Hamez. No matter what you think, let me do it in my own way."

There was a frown on her face as she planned how to approach Hamez.

Tajarez laughed, wondering what she was up to. "What does it matter who tells him as long as he knows? Palomas, go and ask my father if he will join us. Quickly."

"My prince, you know I cannot leave you alone with her."

"Very well. You would do well not to leave her with me. Summon one of the servants and send him."

Tajarez held Mara in his arms. "In two days, three at the most, you will belong to me."

"My prince," Palomas said, stepping forward and pulling Mara from the circle of Tajarez's arms, "now that she is to be the princess royal, I cannot allow you even to touch her."

Tajarez looked as if he might object, but then he thought better of it. "I look forward to the day when I take her to my bed without your interference."

"So do I, my prince, " Palomas said good-naturedly. "So do I."

Hamez soon joined them. He had removed the crown of the double cobras, but he still looked every inch the king. "What is so important that you would wake a man from his afternoon sleep, my son? Although I do not need to ask, I can see by the expressions on both of your faces."

"Hamez, could I speak to you? You are very wise, and I want you to settle a little dispute for me."

"Ah, pretty words, Mara, but why do I have the feeling I am being manipulated?" Hamez said as he lowered his tall frame to one of the cushions.

Mara sat down on the floor in front of him. She smiled and her green eyes sparkled. "Although I only met you today, Hamez, I felt right from the start that I could talk to you. Am I right?"

He took her hand in his. "I hope you will always feel you can talk to me. What would you say?"

"Do you think it is a good match if one of the royal blood were to marry one who was not of royal blood?"

Tajarez sat down, watching her warily.

"If you are speaking of yourself and my son, the answer is yes," Hamez told her.

Mara frowned. "You gave your answer too readily. Maybe we should reason this out. I know," she said, leaning forward, "suppose it were not myself and Tajarez but . . ." she thought for a moment. "Suppose we were talking about my brother Jeffery, and Sasha?"

"My answer would be the same, if they loved each other. I am a firm believer in love, Mara."

"You are not just saying that? You would really give your consent if it were Jeffery and Sasha?"

"Of course." He smiled. "Did I not say so?"

Mara gave him a heartwarming smile. "You are truly wonderful."

"I know that I am, but what have I said that has made you know it?" he said warmly. He could easily see why this small girl had stolen the heart of his son, for in that moment she stole his as well.

"Will you tell them, or shall I?" Mara said, standing and placing her hands on her hips.

"Tell who? What?" Hamez said in confusion.

"Well, Jeffery and Sasha, of course. Did you not say they had your permission to marry?"

Tajarez threw back his head and laughed. Even Palomas, whose face rarely showed any emotion, smiled broadly.

"We were not talking of your brother and Sasha. We were speaking of my son and yourself."

"No, I remember distinctly calling Jeffery and Sasha by name."

Hamez's face froze. His mouth twitched, then he threw back his head and roared with laughter. "I believe I have been outmaneuvered by a master. You set a trap for me, and I walked into it unaware."