Save Me (14 page)

“
Only in a good way,” I half-whisper. My voice is hoarse and cracks as I answer him. Who would’ve thought I’d like being tied up? Apparently, Jack did.

He pulls my arms around him and kisses me softly. His dick is slowly losing the hardness that fills me up. He finally pulls out, dragging a gasp from me and a tingle from my center.

Jack’s naked body spreads out on the bed, each muscle clearly and deliciously defined as he lounges. The white lace of my panties hides in his hand like a sweet secret.

“
I need to go to the bathroom,” I declare, reaching for my dress, but I grab his T-shirt instead and pull it on. I wanna be wrapped up in his scent.

“
Through that door,” he says, pointing to my right. I playfully attempt to grab my panties from his hand and he almost manages to hold onto them. I finally free them from his grip and slide them on as he reaches on the nightstand and pulls a wad of tissue from a box next to the lamp. I watch as he wraps it around the condom and pulls it off. It’s a surprisingly open thing to do, and I feel a little embarrassed to see him do it. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the light, squinting in its brightness.

Dark stone lines the walls and I’m startled by the almost black wood of the floor. It’s a striking contrast to the warm wood that runs throughout the other rooms. Two sink bowls rest on a slab of marble with odd, streamlined faucets sticking almost straight out. It’s such a modern bathroom and a stark contradiction to the rest of the house.

I look at myself in the large frameless mirror. My eye makeup is a little smudged, but what gets me most is the blush in my cheeks.
The blush of complete and total satisfaction
. My hair is frizzy in the back and I use my fingers to smooth it down. I venture around the corner, finally finding the toilet. My vagina is raw and the pee burns a little as I let my bladder go.

I wince at how sore I am and flush the toilet. I wash my hands, staring at my face. I just slept with a virtual stranger and it was amazing. The sensation of sex with Jack still washes over me and my inner thighs protest slightly as I walk back in the bedroom. The bedside lamp makes the room a little brighter, and I let myself look at him for a second. He’s only wearing his shorts and each curve of muscle is defined by a crescent of shadow. I suddenly feel dumpy and awkward.

“
Hi,” he says simply. His hair is hanging shaggy around his ears, making him look boyish and sweet.

“
Hi.”

He pats the bed next to him. I slide across the end of the bed and up into what I wildly think of as
my spot
. He puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. I twist my fingers in the small patch of black hair that trails down from just underneath his collar bone and disappears into his shorts. I lay my hand on his tattoo. My eyes travel down his long body and I see more scars down one of his thighs, jagged lines marring his perfect skin.

"Motorcycle accident," he says quietly.

“
Those are some serious scars,” I say.

“
It was a serious accident,” He eyes go distant as he talks.

I don’t really know what to say, how to even carry this conversation. The silence draws out and I don’t know how to fill it.

“
Are you okay?” he asks, stroking my arm slowly. I get the impression Jack appreciates me not pushing him for more about the accident.

“
I’m a little sore," I confess. "But, I had fun.”

“
I had a little more than fun,” he laughs, the muscles of his stomach clenching. I look up at him and he kisses the top of my head. It’s such an intimate thing, maybe more intimate than what we just did. “Would you like to stay here?” he asks. I’m reminded that I haven’t been here with him forever. It’s a shocking thing given that I feel right at home in his log cabin in the woods.

“
You’re okay with that?”

“
I’d like to cuddle up to that sweet ass all night,” he says playfully. He runs his fingers down my back and gives my ample ass a hard squeeze.

I laugh a little and snuggle closer to him. How can I feel so comfortable with him?

“
I suppose it’s lights out then,” he says, reaching over and turning off the lamp. We’re basked in total darkness. I may have lost my virginity a long time ago, but I've never actually
slept
with someone.

He slides the cover up over my shoulder as he moves down into the bed. “Turn over,” he whispers. I turn away from him and he gets as close to me as he can and curls his arm around my waist. We fall asleep that way, warm and entangled, like familiar strangers.

I watch her breathing as she lies next to me. I want to touch her face, to feel her soft, pale skin underneath my fingers again, but I don’t want to wake her. I move a thick strand of hair off her face and just look at her. She’s even more striking when she’s sleeping. The curve of her jaw calls out for me to kiss it.

The sun is coming in through the window and I know it’ll be up fully any minute. The light will come in and hit on the bed in the exact spot where she lies. Her skin will catch the light and I’ll lean in and breathe her scent. That same hair I think about running my fingers through will light up around her face. I let myself lift the sheet up and look at her ass, her long legs. My dick throbs painfully, full of want of her and the need to piss.

I pull my arm free carefully; she stirs a little and pulls the sheet back up over her body. I walk to the bathroom and relieve myself. The mirror greets me with that same old face, the face I selfishly hope she’s dreaming about. I wash my hands and then rub them over my eyes, washing away the night.
Jack, old boy
, I think as I stare at my reflection.
You've let that girl put something on you
. I smile in spite of what it means.

I go to leave my bedroom as quietly and quickly as I can, but can’t do it before pausing to watch the sun filter through the window like I knew it would. The strands of her hair seem to glow and her skin looks so soft, so kissable right now. I could move that sheet aside, push my t-shirt off her body and fuck her until she can’t walk. I know she’d let me and that’s why I fight the urge to do it.

In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and down it in one drink. The muscles in my back are awake and need to be worked out, but I stare at the bedroom door, willing her to wake up and come talk to me. She’s the first person in a long time to break the silence that lives in my house. And within me.

I’ve done a very bad thing. A very
wrong
thing to this girl. How can I feel so good this morning when I know how bad I might end up making her feel?

The door to the bedroom stays closed, so I make my way to the basement to work off some of this frustration.

I pull on heavy bag gloves, working my tender right hand into it carefully, and hit the bag hard and fast, the pull of bone by muscle using up the space in my head. Carly’s eyes are my focal point and I imagine staring into them again, feeling her gasp into my neck as I ram my cock into her. The heavy bag isn’t so heavy as each punch lands with a loud
smack
.

Sweat runs down my body, but I keep going, keep pushing my arms and legs to do the work. I try to burn up my feelings, but they're always there, like a cancer. It eats away at me, not at my body, but at my soul. At the part of me that thinks I’d ever deserve someone like Carly, that I could ever make her happy. I tried that, but I got in my own way and now my heart is as closed up as a tomb. Or at least it was.

Finally, my muscles are satisfied with the burn and I unstrap the gloves from my wrist. I look down at myself, at the definition in my arms, but all I can see are the scars. The moment that Carly let her fingers rest on them made them real to me all over again. I wear my heartache in the form of marred skin. My head fills with the memory of both.

I shower in the upstairs bath, unwilling to wake Carly before her body comes to on its own. I can’t let myself think about the way her hand fits mine or the way her lips feel against my skin. Her body seems as though it was designed for me. She fits me in ways no woman has before, not even the one who led me to where I am now. I just had to pursue her, had to turn on the charm. I realize she charmed me, too, but what the fuck can I do about it now? I made a decision a long time ago and it’s one of those that you can’t easily go back on. I don’t know how to handle all these things this girl has made me feel; all the emotions I locked away have started to try and break free. The water beats down on my head and I try to lose myself in the sound of it. I lean into the stream and close my eyes. I can taste her in the heat of the shower.

I didn’t expect to feel so much so early. Hell, I didn’t expect to feel anything, ever again. The way the heart heals itself is different in every person, but in me, it shut down and turned off, beating only because it has to.

I drink a cup of black coffee, the bitterness like an old friend. Even knowing what Carly does to me, how I feel when I’m with her, I silently berate myself for doing this. Mark wouldn’t stop until I agreed to this date, but he doesn’t know what he’s done to his sister-in-law. I could take care of her every need, bend my life around hers in such a way that she’d love me forever, but to do that could be the biggest mistake of her life. To be that happy, that fulfilled is something I can’t have, a chance I refuse to take.

The bedroom door creaks open and a sheepish, sleep ruffled Carly walks out in just panties and my t-shirt. Her eyes meet mine and my resolve to do the right thing unravels.

“
Good morning, beautiful,” I say.

She pulls at the shirt hem, attempting to pull it down over her legs. She has sexy legs, long and strong. I see myself between them again, right there where she stands.

“
Good morning,” she says. Then she gives me that smile. It’s brighter than the sun.

“
Would you like a cup of coffee?” I offer.

“
I’d
love
a cup,” she says, walking through the living room to join me in the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll be able to function at work today.” She sits on the barstool and winces a little. I'm happy to see I've left my mark.

“
How do you take it?” I ask.

“
Black as midnight on a moonless night,” she answers.

“
You've watched Twin Peaks?” I ask, surprised. She just piqued my interest again.

“
Love me some Agent Cooper,” she says with a grin. She takes the mug and puts it to those naturally red lips. I wonder what they’d look like wrapped around my dick. I lean my hips closer to the island to hide what the thought does to me.

“
You are full of surprises,” I say.

She smiles at me again, but I can’t help but think she seems distracted. All her cockiness is gone.

“
You okay?” I ask.

“
Yeah, I just feel a little…," she turns those strange eyes at me. "I don’t know, weird.” She rubs her long fingers up her arm and then curls them around the coffee cup.

I walk around the island and turn her barstool toward me. I know I shouldn’t, but I lean over her and kiss her mouth. Carly hesitates at first, but gives in completely. Goddamn, she is electric.

“
Don’t feel weird,” I whisper. Why am I doing this? I’m using everything I can think of to get to her, even when I know I can’t keep her. It just feels
right
to me somehow.

“
Okay,” she says. She nuzzles in my neck then and my hands are around her waist before I can think. I pull her to her feet and stare into those wild eyes of hers. They’re tame today, but I’ll never forget how they looked last night when she was tied to my bed.