Save Me (2 page)

Cold air whips around us, but my flushed skin appreciates it. We climb in Claire's Lincoln and pull onto Maple Street.

"You should let Mark fix you up with this customer he has," Claire says. Oh, great. Here we go again, Claire and her matchmaking.

"No, just no. Don't even go on," I protest.

"Just hear me out," Claire says. "He's a good-looking guy, he has money. He's a bit older than you, but he's smart. You'd be able to actually
talk
to him."

The thing Claire doesn't understand is that I'd be perfectly capable of finding someone to be with on my own, if that was what I wanted. I choose to hook up with Nick because that's all I want. I've never longed for the perfect family in the perfect house with the perfect dog. Claire's the one who came out of our fucked up childhood wanting that.

"If I agree to one date,
one
, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes," Claire says, a smile stretching across her face. That's the smile she gets when she thinks she's won.

"Hey, stop here," I say.

"Where?" Claire asks.

"There, pull in beside the convenience store." I point to the building next door.

Claire pulls the MKX into a spot at the end of the parking lot. I look out my window, straining my eyes to see if I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing. It's Nick, walking from the door of the store with his arm wrapped around the waist of some gorgeous blonde girl. With his muscular, surfer boy body, she looks better next to him than I would.

"Wow," Claire says.

"Huh," I say.

Claire eyes me skeptically. "Are you okay?" she asks. I look at him again, then at the blonde. She's thin, almost too thin, with bleached blonde hair past her shoulders. Nick's type, i.e. the opposite of me. The funny thing is, I
am
okay.

"I'm fine. I told you we aren't exclusive. That just proves it." And it proves that I don't care for him.
At all
. I think I thought maybe I did care for Nick, at least a little. I'm surprised to discover that nothing in me stirs, not a single thing.

"Hey, wanna go in
there
?" Claire asks, her pretty face lighting up. She points one perfectly manicured finger toward the yellow building we parked in front of. Three black Xs are painted over the door and the windows are tinted dark.

"
You
want to go in a porn store?" I ask.

"Think I could find something to get Mark so hot he'll knock me up?" She’s entirely too eager to do something like this; it’s out of character for her.

"God, Claire. I don't want to think about you and Mark screwing," I say, feigning disgust.

"Let's go," she says, unclicking her seatbelt. "Let Nick see how hot you look tonight."

I look down at the low cut black top I'm wearing under my coat. My big boobs are pushed up high and full by the new bra I bought just yesterday. My long auburn hair hangs over them in soft waves. I do look damned good.

"Okay, let's go," I say. Nick's blonde climbs into his Mustang and he starts to fill the gas tank. Claire and I climb out of the Lincoln and walk toward the door. I know Nick sees me because he calls my name. I turn around and in a gesture that makes me happy; stick my middle finger up at him.

The bell on the door jingles as we venture inside. A big burly man behind the counter smiles at us.

“
Can I help you, ladies?”

I think I hear something dirty in his question, but it
is
a sex shop, so I dismiss it.

“
No, thank you. We're just gonna have a look at yer dildos,” I answer. Claire rolls her eyes and shoves me ahead of her.

He gives me a hearty, belly-shaking laugh and decides to watch us meander through the aisles of potential orgasms. I came in here once before with my best friend Allie. Another friend of ours decided to be stupid and get married about a year ago, so being us, we’d bought her slutty lingerie that she probably never even wore, complete with nipple cutouts and crotch less panties.

I catch my reflection in the large mirror that hangs at the end of an aisle filled with kinky costumes for every fetish you can think of and some you can’t. Some people would say my eyes are brown; that’s what’s on my driver’s license, but they’re closer to orange tonight. They’re weird and make me look kind of exotic. I smile at the thought and follow Claire as she studies shelves stacked with body butter.

"Ooh, you wouldn't like that," I say, pulling a sour face.

"And just how do you know?" she asks.

"Bachelorette party," I answer, poking at an anal plug through the package on a hanging rack. "I licked it off a male stripper."

"Good god, Carly," Claire says, shaking her head.

"Hey, you asked," I shrug.

We wander the rest of the store as easily as we would if we were shopping for shoes. Claire grabs some strawberry flavored edible massage oil, a set of velvet lined handcuffs, a blindfold and a pair of edible panties. I'm a little surprised at her willingness to buy anything in here, but a little disappointed that she wasn't interested in the naughty nurse costume I tried to convince her to buy. I look around for myself, but every shelf or hanging rack reminds me of the way Nick and I are, all sex and no relationship, and a sudden restlessness steals over me. Maybe seeing him with someone else is getting to me after all.

Claire piles the items on the glass counter, a menagerie of beginner’s seduction. Waiting for her to check out, I take inventory of all the vibrators and toys that lie in wait underneath the glass for someone to take them home. One is so big I have to fight the urge to snicker.

“
That be all?” Big Burly asks. He has a tangle of thick red hair and a bushy beard with squat blue eyes hiding somewhere between the two. His ample belly nearly rests on the register as he stands there waiting for an answer.

Claire nods and he rings up her stuff. She hands him her shiny credit card and then signs her name. She's now the proud owner of a little kink and I think she'll be a repeat customer. Her phone rings loudly as she attempts to put her credit card back in her wallet.

"Hello," she answers. She smiles the smile that I've only ever seen her give to Mark. "Nothing much, just heading home from dinner with Carly." She grabs her bag and motions toward the door.

"I'll be right out," I say. She nods and the little bell jingles as she leaves.

"Can I help you with something?" Big Burly asks. He eyes my tits and then my face, just like most men. It doesn’t matter what you look like, if your boobs are at all visible, that's where the eyes go.

I hesitate, eyeing a vibrator in the glass case. It’s pink and pretty, with a tiny bunny sticking out on the front. I point at it, “May I see that, please?”

Big Burly pulls a key ring with about a thousand keys on it from his belt loop and slips it into the lock. He slides the glass back and gets the display out for me.

Mushy silicone over hard plastic has never been my thing, but my curiosity matures into interest as I turn it on. The little bunny vibrates, too. Big Burly watches me intently and I’m aware of his eyes on me.

“
Don’t I know you from some place?” he asks.

“
If you ever come in Willie’s Bar and Grill, you do. I’m a bartender there.”

Big Burly smacks the counter and points a stubby finger at me. “I knew I knew you from somewhere! I never forget a face. I go to Willie’s all the time. Good steak.” This conversation, or some variation of it happens a lot when someone realizes I’m the busty girl who pours their beer or mixes their daiquiri, but this is the first time it’s happened while I’m holding a vibrator.

“
Well, you’ll have to come by and see me, have a big juicy steak.” I smile. “I'd like to get one of these, please.” It's a good insurance policy for the nights Nick decides to be with his blonde or the nights he does show up, but can’t get the job done, that is if our "relationship" isn't done.

The bell jingles over the door again and a chilly wind rushes into the store. I turn to see who the dumbass is that would hold the door open so long on such a chilly night. Headlights wash him out, all but the black outline of his tall body. The tinted door closes cutting off the headlights and my eyes can finally focus on him and focus they do. He’s wearing a grey wool pea coat over a plaid shirt and dark jeans, perfectly faded and torn a little here and there. His cheeks are flushed pink with cold. Thick, deep chestnut colored hair hangs over his forehead, almost touching the corner of his dark eyes. If his eyes are the appetizer, then his lips are the main course. They’re thick and plump and perfectly framed by a well groomed beard. He’s good looking,
so
unbelievably
good looking. He wipes his feet on the mat and smiles at me.

My god
.

I return the smile as reality sweeps in, reminding me of what I’m holding. A tiny gasp escapes me as I try to hand the vibrator back to Big Burly. My evil, clumsy, traitorous hands mock my effort and drop it on the counter. As if I didn’t just call attention to it, the vibrator
switches on
and the three of us watch as it dances across the glass counter toward the edge, like a horizontal, silicone ballerina. Big Burly catches it and with a well-practiced thumb, switches it off. He unceremoniously puts it back inside the glass case, but not before shooting me a smirking grin which I attempt to ignore. I'm glad Claire wasn't here to see this; she'd never let me live it down.

“
I’ve got your delivery, Bub,” the handsome man interjects. I keep my eyes on the wall behind the counter and pretend he isn't here. My face is burning from embarrassment. I have nowhere to rest my eyes, so I scan everything in front of me. I inventory the rows and rows condoms in every size and color and flavor known to man hanging in little boxes like someone might marvel at the Mona Lisa.

“
Be right with you, Jack” Big Burly, aka Bub says.

His name is Jack. I’ll call him Sexy Jack in my head, then.

“
Your total is $78.33.”

Seventy-nine dollars for a vibrator
? That’s insane! Normally, I’d put back something I couldn’t afford, but stuck here between Sexy Jack and Big Burly, I can’t. I dig my wallet out of my coat pocket and pull my credit card free. It’s nowhere near as shiny or unused as Claire's.

In my peripheral vision, I see him slowly strolling through the store, seemingly at home amongst all this kinky shit. I have to focus on my breathing and stop staring at him. He’s looking at the wall of whips! Suddenly I see myself, tied naked to the bed, Jack trailing the little tasseled end of a whip up my leg and over my ass. The thought sends a shiver through me that has nothing to do with the temperature. What the hell has gotten into me tonight other than the three already fading glasses of Jack Daniels?

Big Burly hands me the credit card slip and I scribble my name. I grab my bag and turn from the counter, almost running smack into Sexy Jack. He’s about three inches taller than me, even in the high heeled boots I’m wearing. He’s got wide set football player shoulders, and long arms, but the coat hides so much of whatever luscious body might be there that my assessment has to stop at his face. His plump lips part over straight, white teeth, into a suggestive smile. I return it as seductively as I can and the smell of him romances my nose; a primal, saucy scent that pleasantly tingles as I inhale him. I’m reminded of warm cinnamon buns. My tongue actually tingles.