Save Me (4 page)

“
They can’t be that bad,” I say, pressing buttons on the touch screen.

“
Same shit, different dudes,” she sighs. She and I both know she likes the attention. We both know she isn’t looking for anything serious right now either.

We’re busy almost right away, running the length of the bar the whole afternoon. People come in out of the cold with red cheeks and leave the bar with red noses. We finally get to take our lunch break around seven. Allie grabs a couple of sandwiches for us and we head to the over-crowded room that serves as the employee lounge. Boxes of to-go containers, straws, stir sticks and extra glassware crowd us around the rickety table our cheap ass boss won't replace.

“
So, what’d you do last night?” she asks.

I think of Sexy Jack and The Rabbit and dismiss it. “Nothing much. Claire and I had dinner at Angelo's, then I went home.”

“
Sounds thrilling,” she smirks. “No Nick dick, then?”

“
Nope. He was busy last night. With a blonde.”

Allie's eyes widen and I realize she's as surprised as I was. “I keep telling you to stop fucking around with him. I don't care if he is the Prosecuting Attorney's son. He’s a douchebag, Carls. You could do so much better.”

“
It’s easy for you to say that, Allie. Besides, I don’t think I want anyone. And you know I couldn't care less who his dad is.”

“
You’re not cut out for that kind of relationship, not for the long run.” Allie has always been so sure of this, so certain that I’ll tire of the arrangement Nick and I have. “He’s mean to you, Carls,” she says for the hundredth time.

“
So he told me once my ass was getting too big, so what? It was!”

“
He’s going fucking bald and he says shit to you about your weight!”

My weight has always been more Nick’s problem than mine. I’m not a big girl, but I have wide set hips and big boobs. I have a nice, small waist and I think I look good most of the time, though Nick would beg to differ when he thought it'd be funny to be cruel.

“
I know, I know. He’s an insecure little boy who doesn’t appreciate a woman with any meat on her bones. There, I said it for you so you don’t have to.”

Allie and I have had this conversation way more times than one. She keeps pushing me to dance with guys at the club, but if I dance with them, Nick gets pissed and won’t call me for weeks. I know she pushes me
because
he gets pissed. She picks Nick apart every time his name comes up. If I had real feelings for him, I might get annoyed with her.

“
He sure knows how to appreciate you when he wants to get laid,” she says.

“
Let it be, Allie Cat. I heard all this last night from Claire. I don't want to hear it from you, too. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's done now anyway.” After the shock of seeing him with someone, my interest in him has surprisingly disappeared.

She shoots me a skeptical look. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you,” she thankfully changes the subject. “Samantha who works day shift has a brother who's coming to visit her during Thanksgiving break. She’s going to ask you to go on a blind date with him.”

I stop eating my sandwich and look at her in disbelief. “Why me?”

“
I guess she thinks you’re lonely,” Allie says with a half grin.

Blind dates. What the hell? First it's Claire and now it's Samantha. “Why would she think that?” I ask.

“
I don’t know. She showed me his picture. He’s kinda cute.”

I think of Sexy Jack, his hard line chin and serious eyes. “I don’t do ‘cute’, Allie.”

“
So you just want to let that dick wad use you?” she asks, arching her eyebrows for emphasis.

“
I'm just as guilty of using him as he is of using me, Allie. I’ll find someone for real when I'm ready. I don’t want to be set up on a fucking blind date, though. Please tell her not to even ask me.”

She shakes her head a little and takes another bite of her sandwich. I can't help but feel a little shitty after talking about this again. Inspecting my relationship with Nick out loud always gives my self-esteem a kick in the ass.

§

Our late lunch break over, we make our way back to the bar. I think about Nick and wonder why I let him get away with the things he says. Our sex-only relationship was getting old before I saw him with someone else, but why did I even tolerate him at all? His dick isn’t even that big and he isn’t even that good with it. There are guys who ask me out, guys better and more appealing, but I never seem to want to say yes. I haven’t met anyone that piques my interest, except Jack, and I'm too deep in my own head to even try and find him.

I wait behind Allie as she logs back in on the computer. Then slowly, an already familiar scent wafts through the air and around my head. It takes just a second for me to place it. Sexy Jack’s cologne. I turn around almost in slow motion, trying to force myself not to be disappointed when I see he isn’t there.

The entire bar can’t contain my inexplicable excitement at the sight of him. His dark hair, fat lips and strong jaw line almost strike me blind. He’s owning the space around him, but looking uncomfortable in it. He smiles and raises two fingers in a half wave. I return it, heat rushing to my face, as a mixture of excitement and anxiety wreaks havoc with my central nervous system.

“
Allie, there’s a complete ten at the south end of the bar," I lean in and whisper. "I met him last night and I want to take his order, okay?” As I talk to her, I’m forced to admit to myself that I don’t want Jack to really
see
Allie. If he sees her, any chance I’d have with him, even the slim one in my own mind, would go out the window. We’ve never competed over a guy before, but even though I have a curvy body and big boobs, she’s got a spark about her that most guys just go gaga for.

She looks at the glass rack above our head to see him reflected in the mirrored top. It’s a thing we do to see people we don’t want seeing us see them. Her eyes go wide. “Where did you meet
him
?” she whispers.

“
At the convenience store on Maple,” I sort of lie.

“
Find out if he has a younger brother,” she says.

I poke her in the shoulder and log in quickly. She saunters to the other end of the bar to a small gang of guys that she’ll have eating out of the palm of her hand before the second round of whatever they’re drinking.

I breathe deeply, pull my already revealing shirt down a little and walk toward Sexy Jack.

“
What can I get you?” I ask, hoping my voice is all sex kitten. Questions are pinging around inside my brain, the rapid fire of
Did he come here to see me? How'd he find me? Does my ass look okay?
flustering me in spite of my attempt to seem calm.

“
A bottle of Bud Light, please,” he answers and his voice is just as I remember. Heat creeps through my stomach and down to my core as an intoxicated, tripped out feeling comes over me. I realize I’m a little drunk at the sound of his voice.

“
Coming right up.” I turn toward the beer fridge, aware that he might be checking me out.
Oh, how I wish
. At last my brain calms down a little, at least letting me focus on
hand in fridge, beer in hand, beer on counter
.

I manage to sit the bottle down on the coaster and focus my attention on it. I want to meet his eyes, but I’m afraid that when I do, I won’t see anything there. No desire, no heat, no interest. He reaches for the beer, giving me a clear shot of his left hand. No wedding ring or ghost line of one removed.

“
So, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asks, sipping his beer.

"Seriously?" The cheesiness of his line catches me off guard and momentarily breaks my coolness. I struggle again to recover it.

"I suppose that question would've been more fitting last night, huh?" His eyes do nothing to hide what he means as he asks me this. We're both remembering the dancing Rabbit.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I feign confusion.

“
I never would've guessed you'd be coy,” he smirks, lowering his voice to an irresistible level. “What's your name?" he asks, taking another drink of his Bud Light. It leaves a wetness on his lips.
Oh please, lick the suds off
. His tongue slides over his lips and I have to shift my position. I lift the beer bottle off the naked bar and put it back on the coaster.

“
Carly,” I say.

He sits back on his bar stool a little, his expression one of polite interest. At this distance, I get a good look at him. His eyes, deep brown, almost black, are rimmed with dense, long lashes. His coffee colored hair is slightly long on top and hangs into the corner of his eye again, as if it's protecting his high, chiseled forehead. It’s both neat and disheveled at the same time. His slightly long nose fits perfectly in the middle of his handsome face.
And his lips
. Oh, those lips are thick and plump, the bottom slightly pouty in a masculine way. His beard is neatly groomed and frames his face just right. He has a rugged, borderline dangerous appeal.

“
I already know your name,” I say, pulling my eyes and my brain from the study of his face.

“
Then tell me,” he says.

“
Your name is Jack,” I say, rolling my eyes. He smirks at me again, his lips full and knowing.

“
So, what'd you buy last night?” he asks.

I blink. Did he just ask me that? He smiles wider as if he just asked some simple question with no embarrassing answer. Is he having this much fun teasing me?

“
Well?” He tilts his head to the side a little, waiting for my answer. It’s a bit distracting, the way his eyes can almost see through me.

I think again about the vibrator dancing across the counter and I hesitate. “What were you delivering?”

His eyes flicker and his smile twinges just a bit at the corner of his mouth.

“
Wood.” I can’t hide that this amuses me. “From the saw mill.”

"So you work there?" I ask. He looks like the kind of man who could swing an axe.

“
Yep. Your turn,” he says, taking another sip of his beer. Again, I automatically sit it back on the coaster.

I debate total honesty and complete embarrassment or dignified half-truth.

“
I was there with my sister. She had to take a phone call, so I paid for her things for her.” What a shitty lie.

“
I see,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. “Your sister must appreciate you." His gaze is so intense, so penetrating, that I feel bare and stripped, as though every thought I have is his to read.

“
I’m a good sister,” I say.

“
I have no doubt you are a good many things.” He is flirting with me and my whole body likes it.

“
How come I never see you in here? I work every weekend and I’ve never seen you come in.”

“
I don’t get out much,” he answers. “People tend to rub me the wrong way.”

Oh, I’d rub you the right way,
I almost say out loud.

“
Well, what brought you in here tonight?” Please say it was me, I pray to the God of Sex.

“
Just a lucky coincidence, I guess.”