Saved by the Celebutante (27 page)

I continue to scrub away at Jim’s skin. Thankfully, the majority of the mess was on his clothes.

I spend ten minutes wiping down every inch of flesh (well, not the area around his crotch, but everywhere else) and then go back to my toiletries bag. I retrieve a jar of expensive Guerlain cream and pour a large blob into my hand.

“This should help cover up any remaining smell,” I tell him as I rub it into his arms and legs.

Jim is speechless.

“I…uh…thank you.”

“No problem.” I point to his discarded pants and shirt. “You’ll probably want to bag up those clothes and throw them away when you get home.”

“Definitely.”

“Okay. So, are we all good here? How are you doing? No residual feelings of violence?”

He cracks a genuine smile. “No. No more violent tendencies. I’m sorry again. It’s just I’m both a germaphobe and claustrophobic, so being trapped in a port-a-potty was kind of my worst nightmare,” he explains sheepishly.

“I think it’s most peoples’ worst nightmare.”

“Hey, if you get time later, come and say hi at the vegan warrior tent. That’s where Grace and I are staying. We’ll make you an amazing lunch.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Jim and Grace walk off, and if I’m not mistaken, Jim even has a little spring in his step. The paramedic leaves, and Matt is still standing there, smiling.

“What?”

“You.”

“What about me?”

“You are so awesome. Two emergencies dealt with like a total professional.”

“I guess I’m kind of used to that stuff from my job. I can’t say I’ve ever had to give a random stranger a sponge bath, but then this festival has been full of firsts.”

“First time you’ve slept with two boys?” he teases.

“Well, yeah. Although, I can’t vouch for my college days. There could have been some inadvertent passing out with multiple people back then. I was quite the party animal.”

“I’d like to see that side of you,” he says softly.

I don’t know how to respond. “Uh, I should go pack just in case I can get a lift with the towing company today.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure you can’t swing an extra day or two?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, in that case, we’ll have to make the most of every last minute.”

“Okaaayyy…”

Matt comes right up close to me. I hold my breath. Is he going to kiss me again?

Then he starts to kneel down. Oh. My. God. What is he doing?

He sees the look of confusion on my face and smiles mischievously.

“Um, Matt?”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

He begins to unlace my boots. Oooohhhh.

“Cleaning
you
up. Your boots look a little worse for wear.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

He gently pulls a boot off each foot, leaving me standing on the ground in my socks.

I watch as he wipes them down with the attention a mother would clean up a child’s scraped knee.

“If I was staying, I think this is what I would do for people,” I say.

“What?”

“I’d help anyone who felt too intimidated to go to the bath house…a sort of traveling sponge bath nurse, I guess. I could even administer emergency hydration as a bonus service.”

He laughs. “That’s a great idea. Actually, I think I might be in need of a sponge bath right now.”

I stick my tongue out at him. “I’m not sure you classify as a genuine emergency.”

“Okay, well stay close just in case.” He finishes cleaning my shoes and helps me put them back on. He then leans in and kisses me.

Mmm…it’s just as nice even in the light of day and without alcohol making everything hazy. In fact, it might be better. How is that possible?

I want to just stand there all day kissing him, but the dust kicks up and we hadn’t come prepared, so we both run back to the camper with our stuff and launch ourselves inside, laughing and coughing.

Oli groans. “Guys, please! Let a guy sleep, yeah?”

“Sorry,” we both say at the same time and then laugh even harder.

Oli pulls his pillow over his head. “Kill me.”

We wipe down our faces to clear them of dust and grin at each other. “You want some breakfast?” Matt asks.

“Yes, please.”

“Oli – you want anything?” he says, poking the pillow.

“Only if you’re making eggs and bacon,” comes the muffled reply.

“You know we don’t have either of those things left,” Matt points out. “How about some Lucky Charms?”

“I guess that’ll have to do,” he sighs, finally emerging from the bed.

Matt opens up a plastic cup full of the sugary cereal and then gets out a pump-action container of creamer to pump on top of the cereal. It looks disgusting. It’s even worse when he adds water to the bowl and proudly hands it to Oli.

“You want one?” Matt asks me.

“Uh, thanks, but no thanks.” I find a Luna bar in my stuff and eat that instead.

There’s a knock on the camper door. Matt answers it.

“Is there a Chrissie staying here?” a voice asks.

“Uh, yeah.” Matt pokes his head back inside. “Chrissie?”

I head to the door. As I pass Matt he whispers “someone’s popular”. I swat him playfully.

A young woman is standing there.

“Hi, Chrissie? I’m with the towing company and I just wanted to let you know that we’ve traced your van to Reno.”

“Oh, okay, great. So is there any way I can collect it?”

“Actually, we have a bus leaving in an hour if you want a ride.”

“Great! Thank you!”

“Just wait near the mailbox where you left your message. And try not to be late. We leave right on the dot.”

“Perfect. I’ll be there.”

“See you then.”

I close the door, but don’t move for a second. When I finally do turn around, I catch Matt’s look of disappointment.

“I should finish packing,” I say in a business-like manner.

“Yes. Do you need any help?”

“No, I don’t think so. Most of it’s still in my suitcase anyway.” I glance at my watch. “I might just go and have one last quick wash at the bath house so I don’t look like a complete hobo when I get back to civilization. Are you okay if I go on my own?”

“Sure. Of course,” Matt says hurriedly. “I’m still eating.” He holds up his cereal cup to illustrate the point.

I grab my towel and head over to the dome where the bath house is located.

It’s still early, so I have it all to myself, which is exactly what I was hoping for. There’s no one guarding the entrance, so I leave my clothes and towel on the shelf nearby and sneak in.

The sponges are all laid out neatly beside the urn of water. I pick one up and start washing myself down. Ah. That’s better.

I can’t believe I’m leaving so soon. I kind of feel like the universe might have given me another reason to stay. The only thing is, I need an excuse that isn’t my fault. Something I can’t feel guilty about.

I finish scrubbing all the dust from my skin and put the sponge back where I found it.

There. Good as new.

I emerge into the warm sunshine and inhale deeply.

And then I notice something terrifying.

My clothes and towel have disappeared.

THIRTY-THREE

This has to be a prank. Probably thought up by Oli. Or Matt. I really hope it isn’t Matt.

I call out to the air. “Guys? Ha ha, very funny. You can come out now!”

I wait. Any second I just know they’re going to jump out and yell “surprise!”.

“I get it,” I continue. “You thought you’d steal my clothes for a laugh, but I really need to get back to the van ASAP.”

Another thirty seconds go by. Still no Oli or Matt.

“For fuck’s sake!” I yell. “You’ve had your fun, now please just give me back my clothes! Or my towel. I don’t care. Just something so I don’t have to walk through the festival naked.”

I check the surrounding area, making sure no one is hiding behind the dome or nearby tents.

Shit. There’s no one here.

I ignore the internal screams of protest from what remains of my modesty and quickly tiptoe through the grounds, plotting how to punish a couple of boys when I see them.

It goes to show how far from the real world I am when the only people who do spot me don’t even raise an eyebrow. A couple smile and say hello, but no one acts as if it’s even remotely strange I’m naked.

I pause at the door to the camper. I can’t quite bring myself to face Matt without my clothes. I know Oli has already seen me like this, but Matt is a whole other story. Especially in broad daylight.

I yank open the door, using it to shield my body, and poke my head around the side.

“Which of you fuckers stole my clothes?” I hiss.

Oli and Matt look at each other blankly.

“What are you talking about?” Matt asks.

“Oh come on, you seriously have no idea what I’m referring to? And while you’re at it, can one of you throw me a t-shirt or something?”

Oli smirks. “Sure, princess. What happened?” He stands up and retrieves a shirt from my suitcase, flinging it in my direction. I tug it over my head and stalk inside.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

Matt continues to look puzzled but he shoots Oli a strange look. “Were you behind this? You did go to the bathroom.”

“Yes, I went to the bathroom, but no, I did not steal Chrissie’s clothes. What kind of weirdo do you think I am?”

“I don’t know. It seems exactly like the kind of thing you would do.”

“I swear I didn’t. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Well, it seems pretty coincidental.”

“What do I have to gain from doing something like that?”

“I don’t know, Oli. You’re not exactly normal.”

He laughs. “I’d say you had more to gain, bro. Seeing as…” He looks at his watch. “…Chrissie just missed her bus.”

I snatch up my own watch, which I had left behind so it wouldn’t get wet, and look at the time. He’s right. I’ve missed the damn bus.

“Fuck.”

Matt shoots me a horrified look. “Chrissie, I swear
I
didn’t do it. You have to believe me.”

“I don’t know what to believe,” I sigh. “I’m pretty sure one of you is responsible, but now I’ve let down my boss for yet another day.” My heart sinks. I guess I’ll have to go and find out if there’s another bus and when it might leave.

“Let me drive you,” Matt says.

“What?”

“I’ll take you in the pick-up.”

“Really?”

“Sure. It’s the least I can do, seeing it’s probably Oli’s fault you’re in this predicament.”

“It wasn’t me!” Oli protests.

Matt ignores him. “So what do you say?”

I’m about to say yes. Why wouldn’t I take the opportunity to spend a few hours alone with Matt in his pick-up before leaving? But then I remember how far it is to Reno. Four and a half hours one way. I was already planning on leaving the festival early, but Matt paid to come here for the week. If I ask him to drive me to Reno, he will miss out on a whole day here. I know he’d probably tell me it was okay, but I don’t think it’s fair to ask that of him.

“How about I go see when the next bus is?” I suggest. “If there’s one tomorrow, then I might just catch that. I mean, I’m already going to be late back. What’s an extra day?”

“Are you sure?” Matt says.

“Yeah.”

“Well, let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

I head over to the mailbox, which happens to be near the entry gate. The security guard I talked to about the port-a-potty incident is still there.

“Hey, do you know if the towing company bus is taking people into Reno again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think so. They do it most days.”

“Thanks.” I scrawl another note and slot it into the mailbox, letting them know I want to catch the next bus.

All right. Well, I think I’m still going to feel guilty, but I guess I kind of got my wish.

I get to stay another day.

***

When I return to the camper, Matt is holding a few items. Oli is lying on the bed with his eyes closed, but I can’t tell whether he’s awake or asleep.

“What have you got there?” I ask.

“I was thinking, just in case you were going to stay for a while longer, you might want to look the part.” He holds the first thing up. It’s a nurse’s coat.

I laugh. “I thought you would have chosen a slutty nurse’s dress.”

“I couldn’t find one at such short notice,” he admits. “Otherwise I probably would have.”

“At least you’re honest. What else have you got?”

“A spritzer bottle and some paper.”

“What’s the paper for?”

“You’ll see.”

He puts the coat and spritzer on the table beside me and then gets to work folding the paper. I watch, intrigued.

“Can you get that lipstick you were wearing yesterday?” he asks.

“Please don’t tell me you’re a cross-dresser too,” I say, only half joking.

He raises an eyebrow. “Too?”

“Never mind,” I say quickly. “One red lipstick coming up.”

I go and find it and hand it over. He’s being very secretive about the whole thing, using one arm to hide his handiwork while he does something with the other.

After a few moments, he holds it up.

“Voila! A nurse’s hat.”

“Wow! How did you do that?” He’s even drawn a little cross on it with my lipstick.

“I’m pretty good at origami.”

“Apparently so.”

I pull the coat over my clothes and pop the hat on my head. After touching up my makeup, I strike a pose with the spritzer bottle. “What do you think?”

“Perfect,” he murmurs.

The air fills with a charged intensity. I wonder whether we can sneak in a quick make-out session without Oli noticing.

As if he can read my thoughts, Oli chooses that exact moment to open his eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” he asks. “Did I fall into a coma and wake up in a hospital with really hot nurses?”

I slap him playfully. “Stop it. I’m embodying the spirit of this festival, and I’m going to use my water to help people.”

“Chrissie cleaned up a guy this morning after he had an unfortunate incident with a port-a-potty,” Matt explains.

“Oh. Well, good for you.”

Matt grabs his camera. I pick up my water container, spritzer bottle and bath wash.

“Actually, I have an idea for that too,” Matt says, pointing to the water. He digs out a skateboard that I didn’t even know he had, and ties a piece of rope to it. “This can be your cart.”

“You think of everything.”

“I try.”

I pick up another couple of shirts from my luggage to use as rags and we set off. I’m wondering if I should play it straight or adopt the personality of a bossy nurse with a dominatrix streak.

I walk up to a guy in his late twenties who looks like he slept out on the dirt. “You sir, look like you could use some assistance. Would you care to be bathed?”

His eyes light up. “Yes, thank you ma’am.”

“Strip,” I order.

He takes me literally and does a little dance as he removes his shirt and pants. I stop him when he starts to remove his underwear too. “That won’t be necessary.”

The guy’s face falls for a second, but his smile reappears as soon as I fill the spritzer bottle with water and alternately spray and soap his body.

When I’m done, I stand back and admire my handiwork. Matt snaps a photo of us.

“Take care,” I say to the guy and continue on my way. This is fun.

We stop by three other people in the next half hour, and I change my persona to suit each customer. The women prefer someone a bit less cheeky, and the ones who require my services the most are usually those who admit to not wanting to visit the bath house.

By the end of the day I am exhausted, but happy. I have never had so much fun in my life. I’ve met dozens of interesting people and collected email addresses of some who live near me so we can catch up when we’re back in San Francisco.

Matt stayed with me most of the day, only detouring off every now and again if a particularly interesting photo opportunity caught his attention.

We make our way back to the camper at sundown. I collapse on the bed and spread out.

Matt puts his camera down and then comes to stand in front of me.

“Get up for a second,” he says.

I give him a quizzical look but do as he says.

He lays a towel down on top of the blanket and then gently pushes me onto it. He removes my boots and socks and spritzes my feet and legs.

“It’s only fair that you get a bit of attention now,” he tells me.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. What about you? You must be tired as well.”

“Shh. No talking.”

I smile and press my lips together.

He puts some bath-wash on a cloth from his luggage and rubs soapy circles over my skin. Ahhh.

After concentrating quite thoroughly on my legs, he moves up to my arms, rubbing them down – and even focusing on my hands, soaping in between each finger. It’s surprisingly erotic. He finishes with a second spritz and a wipe-down with his towel.

He then pulls me into an upright position and sits behind me, his legs either side of mine, and moves my hair out of the way to spritz the back of my neck.

Without hesitation, I pull off my coat and the dress underneath.

The next thing I feel is the delightful sensation of cool water landing in tiny droplets on my back, and Matt rubbing my lemongrass scented bath-wash slowly over my skin.

I shiver.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“No,” I giggle.

He presses his stomach to my back as his mouth starts laying tiny kisses on my neck. I feel like every nerve ending is alive, the combination of water, soap and Matt’s warm touch all mixing together to form a heady concoction.

He turns me around to face him and spritzes my neck and upper chest. He continues down to my stomach, covering that in kisses too.

He slowly pushes my bra straps off each shoulder and unclasps the back with one practiced movement. I am about to make a joke about his impressive lingerie-removing ability when his mouth closes over my right nipple, sucking gently and sending tingles down into my belly.

“Oh God,” I whisper, leaning my head back in ecstasy.

He quickly pulls away, flicking the latch on the camper door and then pushing me back on the mattress, climbing on top.

I don’t think there’s any question where things are headed this time.

And I’m more than ready.