Saved by the Celebutante (31 page)

I throw myself down on the floor and commando crawl over to the TV cabinet. The door was always getting stuck when I lived here. But with a careful bit of maneuvering I can just…get it…

There! I slide the door noiselessly to the side and yank the memory stick out of the player.

I start crawling back to the door when I notice Will’s laptop on the table in the kitchen. Without considering the consequences, I snatch it up and race out the front door. I motion for the girls to get back to the car as I thrust the laptop and memory stick into Penny’s waiting arms. I then run around to the back of the house and rap loudly on the door before bolting back to the front.

“What the hell?” I hear Will say.

“Sounds like you have a visitor,” Rochelle says. I can hear the relief in her tone.

“Why are they knocking on the back door?” he asks, sounding both annoyed and puzzled.

“Do you have a roommate? Maybe he forgot his key.”

“That’d be fucking right,” he fumes. “Freaking Brad. Hey, wait right here. I’ll be back in a second.”

I wait, holding my breath, hoping that Rochelle has enough time to escape.

It feels like forever, but then I see her quietly tiptoeing out the front door.

Once she’s halfway down the driveway, she starts running.

“Penny, start the car,” I urge.

Penny revs the engine. Anna opens the back door so Rochelle can throw herself in.

Will appears on the front step.

“Hey! Get back here, you little bitch!”

“Go!” I shout.

We take off down the road, laughing. I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

“Are you okay, Rochelle?” I ask.

“Piece of cake,” she says, eyes twinkling.

“Now what the hell is that?” Penny asks, pointing to the laptop.

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have taken it, but Will said he had another copy of the tape backed up online and I’m hoping we can access it through his computer.”

“Can you go to prison for stealing something like that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I’ll take full responsibility. And, I’m only borrowing it. I’ll sneak it back once I’ve found the file. Can you drop me at Gia’s?”

“Will you be okay to get home after?”

“Yeah, I’ll just catch a cab. Don’t worry about me. Hey, girls thank you so much for helping me with this. I know it was a big ask, but you did a good thing. Gia will appreciate it.”

“No problem. That guy was an absolute creep. I can’t believe you lived in the same house as him!”

“Me neither. I just hope he doesn’t find another job in the industry. He doesn’t deserve any good fortune.”

I call Gia, waking her from a deep sleep.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I really need to see you,” I tell her.

“Fine,” she says flatly. “Let yourself in when you get here. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

We pull up out the front of Gia’s place and I turn to everyone.

“You guys are amazing. Thanks again.” I then reach through to the back seat and plant a lingering kiss on Rochelle’s mouth.

Rochelle pulls away looking surprised, yet pleased.

“Honey, any time you want to hook up, you know where I am.”

“That’s very flattering,” I tell her. “But I’m afraid my heart is elsewhere.”

She winks. “It’s okay. I won’t hold my breath.”

I wave as they drive off and climb slowly up the stairs.

Of course I was just letting her down gently. My heart really isn’t elsewhere. I don’t think.

No time to worry about that now. I have a career to save.

THIRTY-NINE

Gia greets me at the door, looking disheveled.

“I’m sorry about the hour,” I say. “But look what I have!”

She stares uncomprehendingly at the memory stick and laptop for a moment.

“What?”

“Your tape!” I say triumphantly.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. The only copies are on this stick and somewhere online accessible through this laptop. I’m going to need your help to figure out where it is.”

“How would I know?”

“Will worked for you, didn’t he? Didn’t you talk about admin stuff?”

“Not really.”

“Well you better come up with some ideas, or he’s going to get away with exploiting you
yet
again.’

“I do really want to be in that Peter Carson movie,” she says.

“I know. So come on, let’s pretend we’re Will.”

I sit down at her breakfast bar while Gia makes us some cocoa.

“Um, about the other day…” she starts.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have been so judgmental.”

“No, you were right. I was stupid for believing Billie over you. And I was absolutely fucking crazy for making a sex tape.”

“Well, we can rectify all of that now. What are some ways to store files online?”

“I don’t know. I just email stuff to my Gmail account whenever I want to save something online.”

“Do you know if Will has Gmail?”

“Probably. But I think he’d be more high-tech than that.”

“Maybe he has a cloud storage account somewhere?”

“I guess you could go into his web browser and check the history to see where he’s visited.”

“Good thinking.”

I open Will’s laptop and navigate to the browsing history. I scroll through dozens of listings for his recent internet usage.

“Ew. Look how much porn is on here! Barely Legal…MILFS…Hot Grannies…”

“At least he’s not ageist,” Gia giggles, joining me at the breakfast bar and handing me a mug of cocoa.

“It doesn’t look like he’s done anything apart from look at porn and Facebook today.”

I double click on the previous seven days. Still more porn.

“Doesn’t he use this thing for anything productive?” I ask, disgusted.

“Well, we just have to keep looking. It must be in there somewhere.”

I scan through dozens of search results, one line blurring into another.

And then I see it. Cloudbox.

“Look!” I squeal, pointing to the screen.

“Perfect. But we need to log in if he doesn’t have the desktop application installed.”

“How can we see if he has it installed?”

“Come on, Chrissie, I thought you would know things like this.”

“Sorry, I’m used to a Mac. I haven’t worked on a PC in years.”

“Move over.”

She gently pushes me aside so she can do a search for the Cloudbox application.

After a minute, she sighs. “That would have been too easy. It looks like our only hope is guessing his password.”

“Oh God. Where would we start?”

“I have no idea.”

“
Misogynist
?” I suggest sarcastically.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t have any pets, does he?”

“Does he seem like the kind of guy who would have a pet?”

“No, I guess not.” She taps her chin. “What about girlfriends?”

“Please. Can you imagine him being serious about anyone?”

“Hey! What if we just click the
Forgot my password
link?”

“We can’t risk that he’ll get the message on his phone. Come on, we have to think like Will.”

“I don’t know,” she says, exasperated. “
Porn
?”

“Hey, you know what? Try your name.”

She snorts. “No freaking way.”

“Come on. Just try it.”

“How would you type it, though? With capitals and no spaces?”

“Try it with the G and K capitalized.”

She reluctantly types it in and an error message comes up.

“Ha!” she says. “See?”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe we just got the combination of capitals wrong. Or maybe he added some digits on the end.”

“Like we’d guess that.” She’s quiet for a second. “Hang on,” she says slowly. “What if he has the password stored in a file on this computer?”

“How would we find that?”

“I don’t know, but I can try a few things.”

She does a search for text files and Excel spreadsheets, sorting the most recently modified ones so they appear at the top.

“You missed your calling as a detective,” I joke.

“Just call me Sherlock,” she deadpans.

She opens up a bunch of directories until she comes to a spreadsheet file called
Administration
.

“I think this is it!”

We both read the file. It contains a whole bunch of websites and passwords.

Gia screeches! “Look!”

It’s the Cloudbox password.

I roar with laughter. “I was almost right!”

The password is
Kahlua69
.

She pulls a face. “Oh my God, that’s gross.”

“And here I thought you were the psychic one,” I tease her.

“Oh, that was just a bunch of old hooey.”

“But you know, I did end up living in a beautiful house with Brad, and am I not the most awesome PR guru ever?”

“You are indeed.”

I don’t remind her that I haven’t found my blond handsome man yet. Unless you count a certain someone I met recently. Which I don’t. But I’m too excited to ruin the mood right now.

Gia logs in.

“It worked!” she whispers.

“Now for the moment of truth,” I whisper back.

It’s even easier than we expected. The folder is very originally labelled
Kahlua sex tape
.

Gia highlights the folder and quickly presses the
delete
key.

A message appears on the screen.

This folder will be deleted permanently. Are you sure?

She hovers the mouse over the
Yes
button and clicks it.

It disappears.

Gia and I look at each other in disbelief.

“We did it,” she says quietly.

“Yep.” I hand her the memory stick. “Here is the only other copy. Do what you like with it.”

She goes to the cupboard and finds a set of matches. She then retrieves a metal pail from under the sink, along with some papers that were going out for recycling, and ushers me over to the balcony.

We sit on the ground cross-legged. She tosses in some scrunched up paper and throws a lit match on top. After a couple of moments, she throws the stick in too. We watch it slowly melt. I can’t believe how satisfying it is seeing that thing destroyed.

The smell of burning plastic makes me cough, but I can’t move away. It’s all so symbolic. Like we’re burning the past to make way for the future.

We watch until the stick is an unrecognizable mess in the bottom of the pail and the paper has all turned to ash.

After a while, I stand up. “I should probably take the laptop back.”

“How will you do that?”

“I guess I’ll just leave it on the doorstep and make a run for it. Will would have noticed it’s gone, and I’m sure he’ll know what’s happened when he sees the USB stick missing because he was watching it with Rochelle before we intervened…”

“Crap…you didn’t see it, did you?”

“No,” I say, not entirely truthfully. “I was too far away.”

“Good. The less people who saw my ass, the better.”

“You have a great ass. But anyway, do you think you’re ready for your audition now?”

“Yes! I can’t thank you enough for sorting everything out. I was so stupid for trusting Will a second time. I promise I will never doubt you again. By the way, I’m going to look into proving he made those unauthorized charges on my credit card. I’ll keep you posted.”

I grin. “Good. You do that.”

Gia yawns. “Anyway, I better get back to bed. The kids wake up so early these days. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can figure out where to go from here.”

“Great.”

I go outside to hail a cab and get my driver to stop at Brad’s house. I tell him to keep the meter running so we can take off as soon as I’ve dumped Will’s laptop at the front door.

And then I’m back at Penny’s, suddenly exhausted.

I throw myself down on the couch and close my eyes.

I think things are finally returning to normal.

FORTY

I look at my watch. Gia should be well and truly done with her audition by now. I call her number and wait to hear the news.

“Hello?” she answers, sounding shaky.

“Gia? Is everything OK?”

“No,” she says tearfully. “Jack’s in hospital.”

“As in your ex? Hang on. What about your audition?”

“I couldn’t go. The hospital called me this morning. He’s in the ICU.” She starts crying. “Oh Chrissie, it’s not looking good.”

“What happened?”

“They think it was a heart attack. A really bad one.”

“So where are you now?”

“In the waiting room at UCSF Medical Center.”

“Do you want me to come by?”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden. I’ll be there soon.”

I leave immediately, my brain swirling with questions. How bad is Jack? What does Gia expect to happen now in terms of her acting career? Things have calmed down in the past few days and I’m back to being her publicist, but we had kind of been building up to her landing that audition. I don’t think Peter will give us another chance, no matter how nice a guy he is.

I get to the medical center in record time and locate the waiting room where Gia is camped out.

“Where are the kids?” I ask.

“With Mom. She’s been so good lately.”

“What’s the latest on Jack?”

“He’s in surgery at the moment.” She wrings her hands together. “They’re basically opening him up to see what they can do.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just sit here with me.”

“Of course.”

“Do you think Peter will be mad?”

“He’ll probably be disappointed, but I’m sure he’d understand on some level. Only I don’t think it reflects well on him, you not showing up to an audition. I don’t think the other people working on the movie would be so understanding.”

“It’s okay. I think the universe is telling me I’m not supposed to be in movies.”

“Don’t be silly. Just because I destroyed my phone and your ex had a heart attack doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a movie star. You’d be great at it!”

“I’m not so sure. I think maybe I’m just better off focusing on the kids and the baby food stuff.”

“You could have told me this earlier,” I sigh. “It would have saved me a lot of heartache.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I was never really that mad about the phone. It was the whole stealing thing that really got to me, and of course I know now that wasn’t you.”

“Did you have any luck proving Will did it?”

“I’m talking with the police and they’re seeing if they can get some CCTV footage from near the places he used the card.”

“So you’re going to charge him?”

“I think so. He can’t get away with that shit.”

She sniffs loudly and retrieves a Kleenex from her purse to wipe her nose.

“Thanks for being here,” she whimpers. “It’s really taking my mind off things.”

“I’m glad to be of service.”

“Do you know Jack left me a message last week? He wanted me to contact him as soon as possible, but I was making him wait because I didn’t want him to think I was at his beck and call.” She sobs into her tissue.

“Hey, you couldn’t have known. Do you wonder if maybe he knew he was sick and wanted to bury the hatchet?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out after the operation.”

Neither of us have to say
if he actually wakes up
.

“Keep talking so I don’t have to think about why we’re here,” she urges.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Tell me about Earth & Fire. I want to know what it was like.”

I blush. “It was…interesting.”

She stares at me.

“Hey, what’s this?” she asks, pointing to my face. “What are you not telling me?”

“I…nothing.”

“No, come on. Something must have happened.”

“Okay.” I take a breath and then tell her the whole story. Well, most of it.

Afterwards, she frowns. “That’s weird how he just disappeared like that.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Do you think maybe you should look him up and call him?”

I stare at her, horrified. “No! Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. And what about staying friends with this Oli? He sounds like a sweetie.”

I feel a tiny stab of regret. He
was
a sweetie. But I only hung out with him for a few days. It’s over now.

I try to deflect the line of questioning. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

She narrows her eyes, seeing through my ploy but answering anyway. “Sure.”

“Why are you so worried about Jack? You never speak to him and he treated you so badly. He doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“Everybody makes mistakes, Chrissie. I’m hoping this is a wake-up call for him, and he will finally decide he wants to spend time with his children.”

“Fingers crossed.”

We drink bad coffee from a nearby vending machine and sit in silence for a while.

After what seems like forever, a doctor appears.

“Ms. King?” he says, looking at Gia.

“Yes?”

“I’m afraid the surgery was unsuccessful. Jack didn’t make it.”

Gia gasps. “But I don’t understand! I thought he just had a heart attack! People recover from those all the time!”

“There was too much damage to the valves in his heart. I’m so sorry.”

Gia breaks down in tears. I let her rest her head on my shoulder and sit there, numb. I never met Jack, but of course I knew
of
him. Most of the English speaking world knows, I mean,
knew
who Jack Dean was. It’s like when you hear of any famous person dying. Even when Amy Winehouse died, I felt sad for a while, and I could almost see that one coming.

“I’m so sorry,” I murmur.

She cries loudly, tears spilling onto my shirt.

Life is strange. But moments like these definitely make you realize what’s important.

And I feel like I’ve almost got things the way they should be.

Almost.

***

I get back to work immediately. Gia is a complete mess, needing me now more now than ever. I even take over the funeral arrangements, because she can’t bear to deal with anyone outside her immediate circle. I hadn’t realized how much she still cared for Jack. She sure hid it well.

The funeral turns into a huge spectacle, attended by half of Hollywood, all paying their respects in their black designer outfits and dark glasses.

Gia makes me sit right up the front with her. Jack didn’t have any serious relationships after Gia (it turns out the TMZ article was a complete lie), so the only other people in the front row are his dad and a couple of siblings. His mother died from cancer a while back. The triplets are with Gia’s mom because Gia didn’t want to have to worry about them making too much noise during the service.

Gia tries to make a speech, but ends up breaking down. I help her back to her seat while Jack’s dad takes over. He does a great job of presenting his son as a talented man, yet one battling his share of emotional demons.

But aren’t we all?
I think. We just deal with them in different ways. I finally feel like I’m coming to terms with mine. I have a tendency to gravitate towards the wrong kinds of people just so I can fit in and feel wanted. I never hold out for the ones who make an effort in return.

But now I will. There’s no hurry. And in regards to having children, I’ve been giving that a lot of thought. Thousands of women have babies in their forties these days. I mean look at Halle Berry, Kelly Preston and Geena Davis! They all had kids at least in their mid-forties. I have almost a decade left before I reach that point.

But I might even decide not to have kids. For now, I can play surrogate aunty to Gia’s triplets. And I should really look up the number for that children’s shelter Nikki was talking about.

Gia and I sneak out of the funeral as soon as it’s decent to do so. A town car takes us back to her place, where I pour her a large glass of brandy.

She wrinkles her nose as she takes a sip.

“What are you feeding me?”

“Brandy. Don’t they always give that to people in movies when they’re distressed?”

She cracks a tiny smile. “Do you get all your advice from movies?”

“And sitcoms,” I confirm.

“I am so glad you’re here, sweetie. I can’t thank you enough for getting that damn tape back, and then being there for me at the hospital…”

“It’s okay. I know I’m your publicist, but I like to think we’re good friends too.”

“Of course we are.” She squeezes my hand. “I have to go see Jack’s lawyer on Monday. Will you come with me?”

“Sure. What do you think he wants?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I have to sign something because of the kids. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.”

“No problem. I’ll come over early that morning and we’ll go in together.”

“Thanks, hon. I might head off to bed now if that’s okay. I’m a bit wiped out.”

“Sure. Do you want me to stay for a bit?”

“No, it’s fine. Mom and the kids will be back soon. It will be nice to have a couple of hours of quiet before they arrive.”

“Okay, well call me anytime if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

I leave her to it. It’s still early, so on a whim, I decide to drive past Brad’s. I had paid rent up until the end of October, but now that it’s November, I am officially a guest. Will’s truck isn’t out the front, so I stop and knock on the door. I have my key, but I don’t want to assume anything.

Becky greets me with a scowl. I look at her, surprised.

“What do you want?” she spits.

“It’s nice to see you too,” I say sweetly. “Is Brad in?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” she frowns, reluctantly letting me through. I’m surprised she’s being so civil. But why is she even here?

I find Brad making a sandwich. He looks over.

“Hey, you!” He hurries over and plants a playful kiss right on my mouth. I step back, startled. Becky is watching with a weird expression on her face.

“Um, hi,” I say.

He laughs and looks at Becky, while wrapping his arm around my waist. “I’ve missed you,” he says, tickling my ribs.

“I’m sorry, but am I missing something?” I look pointedly at Becky.

“Oh, don’t worry about Becky. She’s just sleeping with my roommate.”

Becky looks unrepentant.

“Since when?” I can’t help asking.

“Who knows?” he says airily. “And I don’t really care. But I do think she owes you an apology, after how rude she was to you.”

“Sorry,” she mutters, clearly not meaning it.

“What are you still doing here anyway?” he asks her. “Will won’t be home until late.”

She shrugs. “I was just going to hang out and wait.”

“Well, I’d prefer you didn’t. Go bother him at the bar instead.”

She meekly obeys, avoiding my gaze as she leaves.

Once she’s out of earshot, I gently hit him. “You’re so mean.”

“She deserves it after making such a big deal about being exclusive with me, while the whole time probably fucking Will behind my back. And she was horrible to you. I will not stand for that.”

“Aw, aren’t you a sweetie?”

“I try. So how was your trip?”

“Interesting.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not right now. I just wanted to say hello. And give you this.” I hand back his key.

“You can still keep it.”

“I don’t think so. Are you mad at Will for sleeping with Becky?”

“Nah. He and I go way back. We get each other.”

“Fair enough. Did you know he made a sex tape with Gia in it?”

“Oh yeah, he said something about that. And then some chick stole it.”

I wink. “What a shame, huh?”

He laughs, surprised. “Ah, so I take it you were at least partially responsible for that?”

“Well, we couldn’t have something so controversial out there when she was about to audition for a big Hollywood movie.”

“How did that go?”

“Don’t ask. Jack got in the way.”

“Of course. Please send my condolences to Gia.”

“I will. Anyway, I should probably go. I just wanted to tell you I promise not to sneak into your house again.”

He kisses my cheek. “Anytime babe, anytime.” He pulls away. “It’s great to see you, Chrissie. Stay in touch.”