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“It actually belongs to my parents, but they’re living in France right now. I think they might retire there, so I basically have the run of the place. My friend Will is in one room, but I want to go back to Hawaii next summer, so I thought I’d advertise for another roomie in order to save money more quickly. And in case you’re wondering, yes, I also pay rent.”

He says it like he’s worried I’ll think he’s a slacker. How adorable.

I shoot him a teasing grin. “You don’t have to justify yourself to me. But it’s nice to know you’re not a financial drain on your parents.”

Brad hands me a can of beer, and I try to imagine what life would be like here. At twenty-five, Brad is quite a bit younger than me, but he’s a nice guy. We didn’t really work on any projects together, but whenever I passed him in the hall, he always came across as professional and easy-going.

“Would you want a middle aged woman cramping your style?”

“Ha! Are you kidding? Chrissie, you are
not
middle-aged. Will and I would be lucky to have you.”

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better.” I know I’m fishing for compliments, but come on. When you’ve been through something as soul-crushing as I have, you’ll take the ego-boost wherever you can.

“No! It’s true. I mean, look at you.” He waves his hand up and down in front of my outfit.

I am so glad I made the effort now.

“Well, thank you. That’s very sweet.”

His phone beeps from the counter. I watch as he reads the message, shuts it off again and then looks back at me.

“Sorry, that was just Becky. She might be coming over later.”

“Who’s Becky?”

“Oh, just a friend,” he says vaguely. “Anyway, if you like the place, feel free to move in right away.”

“Are you sure? I might have to sort out my finances first. Would it be okay if it wasn’t for a few weeks?”

“Whatever you want to do. But seriously, if you need somewhere now, you don’t have to pay rent until you can afford it.”

“That’s very generous of you, but I’ll work something out.”

“I really don’t mind. It would be nice to already know the person moving in. I’ve shared with some crazy people. For example, I once had a roommate who stole my clothes, but I could never confront him because he was so sneaky about it.”

“Well, I’m not your size, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Oh, and you wouldn’t believe the guy I interviewed just before you. He was a Hare Krishna and every time he said something, he would end the sentence with
hare, hare, hare
. It was like he had Tourette’s or something.”

I giggle. “I know I shouldn’t laugh, but that would be pretty off-putting.”

“Tell me about it. So you would be a dream. Unless of course you have some fetish I don’t know about.”

“Ah, no.”
That would be my husband.

“Well, that’s a relief. How about I give you a tour of the place?”

“Sure.”

He casually walks me through the house, pointing out the various rooms and facilities.

“This would be your room,” he explains, entering a doorway down the hall on the right.

“Where’s yours?” I ask lightly.

“Just on the other side of this wall.”

Interesting.

The room is huge. Bigger than the one I shared with Corey, and furnished nicely. The carpet is pale gray and feels soft, even with my shoes on. The bed is a modern Asian design, and the furniture is slightly eclectic, but high quality.

“You get your own bathroom.” He indicates another door on the far wall. “But we’d be sharing a kitchen and laundry.”

I do a happy twirl. “I love it! I’m going to go home and work out a budget that allows me to move in ASAP.”

“Awesome. Well, I’m glad we can help each other out.”

“Do you think Will is going to be okay with someone else moving in?”

“He’ll be fine. He’s chill. I think you’ll like him.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t meet first?”

“Nah. It’s technically my place so I get to decide who lives here.”

“All right, so you have my cell number just in case you need to contact me, and I obviously already have yours. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Roomie.”

I head home feeling cautiously optimistic. All I have to do now is rustle up the money to pay for the first month’s rent and make sure Corey gets a roommate of his own.

There might just be hope for me yet.

NINE

I call Corey multiple times over the next week to follow up on the roommate suggestion without any luck. Uri mentioned that legally I should be compensated if I am unable to live in my own apartment, so at least I know I can go to court if I absolutely have to – but I’d prefer to try and resolve the issue amicably first. I’ll just give Corey a few more days. He could be away. Or busy with work. Hopefully he isn’t deliberately ignoring me.

I want to move in with Brad so badly, I spend a considerable amount of time trying to figure out whether it’s possible for me to do it and still pay my half of the mortgage. Staying at Penny’s is nice, but it makes me feel like a failure. Living with Brad and Will is exactly what I need to start afresh and move on with my life.

After some creative budgeting, I conclude if I live on rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I can just about afford it. I think that’s a fair sacrifice. And at least I won’t get fat.

I move into Brad’s that weekend.

And then miracle of miracles, just as I’ve lugged the last of my boxes into my new bedroom, Corey finally calls. I answer the phone, dreading the conversation after our last one, but forging ahead anyway.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he says. “I agree it’s not fair for you to pay for a place you’re not living in, so I’ll cover the mortgage until we sell.”

He doesn’t explain why he hasn’t been in touch sooner, and I don’t want to rock the boat, so I don’t ask.

“Can you afford that?” I can’t help but wonder about his ten grand credit card debt.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad leaving you with the full financial burden. Wouldn’t it be better if you got someone in the spare room?”

“No. I’d rather not share with a stranger. Honestly, it’s fine. I might need you to chip in for repairs and property taxes, but just leave the rest to me. Enjoy your new place, and I really hope things work out for you.”

I’m not sure how I feel about this conversation. Corey can be quite generous at times, but this is going above and beyond. Especially considering how stand-offish he’s been recently. But then maybe it’s his way of apologizing for his behavior.

“So do you think we should go through with the divorce?” I figure I should try and broach the subject while he’s being so open.

“Yeah, I guess,” he says, his magnanimous tone suddenly disappearing.

“Well, are you going to talk to a lawyer? It takes six months to process, so we shouldn’t wait for too much longer.”

“There’s no hurry, is there?”

“I guess not. But why put it off? Unless you think we should get counselling first?”

“I don’t think counselling will help.”

“Okay, well then call me after you’ve talked to your lawyer and we’ll arrange the paperwork.”

“Sure. Hey, sorry but I have to go. Talk soon.”

I hang up, feeling disconcerted. The conversation went exactly as I’d hoped, so why do I get the impression I’m missing something?

Oh well. I don’t have time to focus on that right now. The mortgage issue is sorted, so now I can focus all my energy on Kahlua’s baby food launch.

In between all the packing and unpacking, I am still madly working for my celebrity boss. We’ve set the launch date for a month’s time, and there is still a lot that needs to be done before then.

As part of the agreed strategy, Kahlua and I are in the process of revamping her image. This includes everything from her appearance to her perceived intellect.

My first suggestion was to use her real name, which happens to be Gia King. At first, she was quite resistant to the change, claiming that no one would know who she was. But when I pointed out that having the word
Kahlua
on a baby food item wasn’t exactly a sensible marketing move, she came around. We’ve also staged a series of daytime talk show interviews so we can officially reintroduce her while talking about the baby food.

The press are loving it. I knew they would. Everyone appreciates a good makeover story. I even hired a fashion designer I knew from my time at Perry Tyler to create a whole new signature wardrobe for Gia. I asked him to use Blake Lively for inspiration. Now she has a bunch of tasteful skirts, pants and dresses. I also recommended she avoid wearing any clothing that exposed her butt or revealed too much cleavage for the next few months. I personally don’t care about that kind of thing, but some moms can be judgmental, and if Gia wants to appeal to a wide audience, she needs to be a bit more conservative.

The last step in her transformation was getting her hair chopped into a cute girl-next-door style. After we added in a few honey lowlights, I was confident that Gia would now give Jennifer Aniston a run for her money in the likeability stakes.

***

By the time the launch finally arrives, I am feeling like we might actually pull this whole thing off.

Gia is getting dozens of requests to appear on all the major radio shows. Not to mention all the columns she’s been offered to guest write. She’s been in greater demand these past few weeks than in the rest of her career to date.

I plan to meet Gia at the Grand Ballroom at the Omni at seven. I’m the MC, and I’ll also be responsible for ensuring everything runs smoothly. This will be one of the biggest moments of my career, and I am absolutely petrified.

Just as I’m getting ready to leave, Will comes out of his room and slams the door behind him.

I’ve now been living in this house for four weeks and I am yet to have a proper conversation with my second roommate. While Brad and I have settled in to an easy-going relationship, the same can’t be said for me and Will. The guy spends most of his time in his room or out of the house. He doesn’t strike me as a very social person. I’m not sure why Brad is even friends with him.

He storms into the living room and throws himself on the couch, flicking on the TV.

“Is everything okay?” I ask tentatively.

“I fucking hate my job,” he snarls.

“Oh. So I take it you have to work tonight?”

“Yeah. Bar work sucks.”

“Why do you do it then?”

“Because I don’t have a choice. I used to have an awesome job, but then my boss fucking fired me for no reason and I had no money, so I had to take a position in a shitty bar just to pay rent.”

“What was your other job?”

He snorts and then points at the TV.

“I used to work for
that
bitch.”

I glance up at the screen and freeze. It’s Gia. She’s on
Ellen
talking about the launch tonight.

Oh my God.
Will
is Billy?

“You used to work for Gia King?” I ask faintly.

“Pfft. Gia. She’ll always be slutty little Kahlua to me. I don’t know why she’s even trying to go legit. No one’s buying it. Everyone knows she’s still the same whore who only got famous because she fucked Jack Dean.”

My mouth falls open. “That’s a bit harsh.”

He’s barely listening to me. “I suppose she was all right at the beginning…did everything I told her…but towards the end, she was an absolute nightmare. I don’t know what happened. She started questioning everything. Got a bit too full of herself. She could have been bigger than the Kardashians by now, but she was too precious to do a sex tape or get her boobs done.”

“I thought she already had breast implants,” I point out.

“You mean those pathetic D-cups Jack bought her? You can’t even tell they’re fake.”

“Isn’t that the whole idea?”

He looks at me like I’m deranged. “I thought you were in PR! Don’t you know how the industry works?”

“I’m sorry, but I must work in a different kind of PR to you. The kind I work in focuses on promoting people without exploiting them.” Thank God Brad hasn’t told Will where I am currently working. I guess I’ll have to pretend I’m still at Perry Tyler.

He laughs nastily. “Honey,
all
PR is exploitation. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll succeed.”

Says the unemployed PR guy.

“Well maybe you should ask Brad. I worked…I mean work, with him, so he could tell you if I know my stuff or not.”

“Oh yeah. Do you know I referred Gia to Perry Tyler? You and Brad were basically getting paid because of me.”

“Is that so?”

“Come to think of it, everything started going wrong once she began working on that pathetic baby food project. Do you know who was assigned to her?”

“No, sorry.” As if I’d tell him the truth. I suppose I could give him Quinn’s name, but I don’t hate her
that
much.

“Probably some feminist bitch, by the looks of it. Trying to pass Gia off as an intelligent person.” He uses air quotes when he says the word
intelligent
.

“Maybe.” Jesus. What kind of jackass am I living with?

“So where are you off to tonight?” he asks, only half paying attention.

“Oh, just out with some friends,” I lie.

“You should come by the bar. Are your friends hot?”

I smile, thinking how funny it would be if I took Penny and the gang to meet Will.

“Yeah, they’re not too bad.” I would love to see Rochelle mess with him for a while.

“Cool – so you’ll drop by?”

“Um, I’ll ask them.” Like hell I will.

“You totally should. I’ll take care of you. Free drinks.”

“I’ll see what they say.” I look at the clock and start edging towards the door.

Will glances back at the TV and switches it off in disgust. “I need to get back into the industry. I’m so bored with hospitality.” His eyes light up. “Hey, maybe you could put in a good word for me at Perry Tyler? Brad says he can’t because of some bullshit conflict of interest or something, but there wouldn’t be any if you did it.”

Thanks, Brad.

“Uh, I’ll find out who to talk to next week,” I agree hurriedly. “Hey, I have to go. Have a good night.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, you too. And don’t forget to drop by. You know the address?”

“I think so. It’s on that book of matches on the counter, right?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay, see you later.”

I race out, glad to finally escape. I really hope he doesn’t start taking a liking to me. How can Brad think that guy is cool? I’ve never met someone so sexist and misogynistic in my life! And how could Gia stand working with him? She must have a major blind spot when it comes to men. But then just look at who her ex-husband is.

I get to the Omni and sprint over to the ballroom. I’m now late thanks to Will.

Gia is waiting near the door looking nervous, but she visibly relaxes when she sees me.

“You’re here! I was worried you weren’t going to show!”

“Sorry. You wouldn’t believe what happened…”

“Tell me later. I need you to go and talk to the caterer. Apparently there’s a canapé emergency. And then the IT guy wants to ask you something about the PA system.”

I switch to professional mode. “Of course. Leave it with me. Go have a glass of champagne and I’ll take care of everything.”

She squeezes my shoulder. “I knew I could count on you.”

I dash off to the kitchen. This is it. I’m about to find out if all our hard work has paid off.

***

I clear my throat.

“Uh, hi everyone. If you don’t mind, I’d like to say a few words.”

The room goes quiet. Wow. This microphone is loud. Everyone turns to look at me. Public speaking is probably one of my least favorite things ever, right after sticking pins in my eyes and walking on broken glass. And now here I am surrounded by almost two hundred people, including journalists and B-list celebrities, and I’m expected to play the role of the cool MC.

I slow my breathing and try to imagine everyone in their underwear. Which is a bad idea, because I suddenly have visions of the entire crowd dressed in corsets and fishnets.

I shake my head to erase the image.

“I appreciate you all coming out tonight. This is a very special evening for my amazing boss, Gia. When I first met her, I was immediately impressed by her work ethic and insatiable desire for knowledge. Gia is definitely a force to be reckoned with. It has been an absolute pleasure to work with her on this project, and I hope you all love the result of our efforts.”

I pause for a smattering of applause.

“Tonight, we are launching the
Pure
line of baby food. Gia was instrumental in every step of the process. She personally contracted an ethical manufacturer, sourced quality ingredients, and worked very closely with a designer to come up with a product that the mothers of America will love to buy, and that their children will love to eat. May I please present to you, Gia King!”

The applause gets louder, and I encourage Gia to come up and stand beside me. Dozens of camera flashes go off around us.