Saved by the Celebutante (6 page)

I slam back my cocktail and then start on Corey’s. Which only succeeds in making me feel nauseated, and more depressed than ever.

There’s no point in hanging around, so I reluctantly stand up and head home to bed.

***

I am eternally grateful for the opportunity Kahlua has bestowed upon me. For the time being, I’m going to forget about Corey and throw myself completely into my new job. Today Kahlua wants me to go to her place for a meeting, so I prepare a checklist of things for us to discuss before I head out the door. She did warn me that the triplets will be there, so we might not be particularly productive, but at least we’ll make a start.

I’m actually a tiny bit excited to meet the kids and see where my celebrity boss lives. When I worked at Perry Tyler, we only ever had clients come to our office, and I was never assigned to anyone very famous. Kahlua is probably the biggest name I’ve ever worked with.

Not that I’m impressed by that kind of thing.

Oh, who am I kidding? I am
so
impressed by that kind of thing. My fascination with Hollywood is one of the reasons I got into PR in the first place. I wanted to peek behind the curtain and study the differences between image and reality. And I am aware that a lot of it is smoke and mirrors, so I’m not really sure what to expect when I arrive at a quiet, leafy neighborhood and knock on the door to Kahlua’s apartment.

“Hey!” she whispers, letting me in. “The triplets are asleep, so we’ll have to keep it down.”

We walk down the hall and I surreptitiously check out my surroundings. It looks like the place only has two bedrooms, which is very modest, even for normal standards. But it does have a lovely light and airy feel to it. Kahlua obviously has a natural talent for interior design – or she at least knows someone who does. The white walls are offset by exposed beams on the ceiling and an ocean-themed color palette in her furnishings.

“Not what you were expecting, huh?”

“Oh, it’s lovely,” I say. “But how do you all fit in here?”

“We don’t need a lot of room. The kids all want to sleep together, so this is plenty for now. I could afford somewhere bigger if I wanted, but I just don’t see the point in investing all my money in real estate. Today’s market is so risky. Plus, who wants all that extra housework?”

“Good call.”

“Besides,” she continues. “You haven’t seen this.”

She pulls back the curtains to the outside, revealing a large terrace overlooking a breathtaking view of the bay. The terrace is almost as big as the apartment again.

“Wow,” I breathe.

“And the building superintendent doesn’t mind that I have this little fella,” she says as a teacup Yorkshire terrier bounds over to nuzzle at her feet.

“Oh, this must be Max! Aren’t you a gorgeous little thing?”

Max comes over to check me out. I tickle his chin.

“I don’t know how much longer the kids will sleep, so we’d better get started. How did it go with everything?”

I sit down on her plush sofa and get out my notebook.

“Good. The design company was more than happy for us to take over. Apparently Perry Tyler were way behind on their bills, so I think they quite liked telling them where to go.”

“Excellent. Are you happy to move forward with the concept we discussed last week?”

“As long as you are. I also spoke with the web department about getting a site online. We just need to finalize the copy and then they can get it up and running. How is everything going with the manufacturer?”

“Great. We sorted out all the logistics a while back. I actually did a lot of research before choosing them because I wanted to make sure this baby food was something I’d be proud to put my name to. For the first time in my life, I want to do something properly.”

“That’s great to hear. Do you mind me asking why you haven’t tried something like this before?”

She sighs. “I’m not sure. I guess I was sleep deprived for a couple of years after the kids were born. I was so preoccupied looking after them that I just did whatever was easiest. And Billy was really persuasive. You don’t even know. He had this weird charisma that made me want to do anything he asked.”

“Did you guys…?”

“Oh, no. It wasn’t like that. He never tried to hit on me or anything. I think the fact I had kids scared him off from pursuing me that way.”

Well, at least that’s something.

“So what changed to make you get rid of him?”

“A couple of things. But honestly, I think after we talked the other day, it really made me sit down and look at my priorities. You offered me a new perspective, and made me realize I don’t have to sacrifice my dignity to make a decent living.”

I squeeze her arm. “Of course you don’t have to sacrifice your dignity. In fact, when I’m done with you, you’ll have one of the classiest images in town.”

She laughs loudly, and then a second later a muffled voice calls out from one of the bedrooms. “Mommy?”

“Oh shoot,” she says, covering her mouth. “It looks like our peace and quiet is over before it even began.”

“Do you need some help getting them up?”

“Only if you want. You don’t have to.”

“I know that. Come on. It must be hard only having two hands.”

“You can say that again.”

She opens the door to the kids’ room, revealing a bunk bed in one corner and a single bed in the other. Two little boys occupy the bunk, while a small girl is sitting on the single, rubbing her eyes.

Because Kahlua is so protective about letting her children be photographed, it’s rare to see them in the media. But they are as beautiful as you would expect from the spawn of a handsome Hollywood superstar and a curvaceous blond bombshell.

“This is Zac,” she says, helping the boy on the top bunk down to the floor. “That’s Evan,” she continues, nodding her head at the bottom bunk. “And Lily’s on the little bed by herself. She’s such a sleepyhead. She would nap all day if she could, but her brothers are always waking her up.”

“They’re so cute,” I whisper, creeping over to Lily’s bed and sitting at the foot. “Hi, did you have a good rest?”

She looks at me uncertainly.

“She’ll come around,” Kahlua assures me. “You look like one of her dolls, so it will only be a matter of time before you’re her favorite person.”

I look down at my outfit. Today I’m wearing a black and white polka dot dress with red patent leather heels. I suppose it
is
a bit doll-like. I also blow-dried my hair so it’s dead straight – and my bangs are behaving for a change.

“Hey, do you want to try on my necklace?” I pull off a set of long red beads from around my neck and drape them over her shoulders. She runs her fingers along them and smiles.

“You’re a natural,” Kahlua says. “From now on, you can be my back-up babysitter.”

“I would love to be your back-up babysitter.”

As I watch Kahlua carry her two boys out to the living room, a deep sense of loss washes over me. What if I never have this?

Lily takes the beads off and gently lifts them back over my head. My eyes start to water.

Kahlua returns to pick up Lily and notices me crying.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I know I’m not being very professional, but I’m still struggling with the whole Corey situation…”

“Hey, hey. You’re allowed to be upset. And I’m not exactly being professional either, inviting you to a meeting with my kids and dog here.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

Kahlua waves a hand at me as if to say “don’t mention it”. I follow her out to the kitchen where she retrieves three sippy cups and fills them with water.

“How old are the triplets now?” I ask.

“Three. They’ll be four in January.”

“How do you do this all on your own and not completely lose it?”

“Well, I have my mom to help sometimes, but the key is to get by on less sleep, and lower your expectations when it comes to keeping the house clean.” She points to the living area to illustrate her point, but I’m not quite sure what she means. The place is spotless.

“I hope I get to experience this one day,” I whisper.

“You will,” she says firmly.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just know. I’m actually a bit psychic.”

“Oh, are you now?”

“Yep. I can tell you about your future.”

“All right then. Enlighten me.”

She closes her eyes and rubs her temples theatrically.

“I see…a very successful solo career as a celebrity publicist…”

“Naturally.”

“Also, you will move into a beautiful house…and then I see a tall, blond and handsome man…”

“Of course. What prediction isn’t complete without the tall and handsome man? But did you say blond? Aren’t they normally supposed to be dark?”

“Not in this case. Oh, and he’s playing with a gorgeous little boy.”

“Great! I’m all set. You don’t happen to know when this will happen, do you?”

She laughs. “It will happen when the time is right.”

I know she’s just trying to make me feel better, but I appreciate the sentiment. Why not pretend I’ll get my happily ever after?

Kahlua switches on the TV for the kids and ushers me over to the dining table.

“Dora will keep them entertained for half an hour, but then we’ll have to call it a day. So I guess we better get to it.”

I open my notebook again. “All right, I think we need to start organizing the launch party. I was thinking…”

SEVEN

Kahlua cuts our meeting short when the triplets somehow locate a box of crayons and begin crushing them into the beige carpet. I offer to stay and help tidy up, but Kahlua shoos me out.

“Go and do something nice for yourself,” she urges. “And I want a detailed report when I next see you. I’ll live vicariously through you.”

Ha. What person in their right mind would want to be in my shoes right now? Thirty-five, practically single and with a reality-avoiding husband. Yeah. I’m sure women everywhere are jealous as hell.

At least by leaving early, I have time to call a realtor about the apartment. I also have the number of Kahlua’s lawyer. Apparently he was really helpful, even though Kahlua didn’t get much from her divorce. Jack was never very involved in the triplets’ lives so she happily traded whatever material possessions he wanted for full custody of the children and a quick settlement.

I’m not sure whether I yet have the courage to phone a lawyer. That would mean admitting my marriage might actually be over, and I don’t feel like enough time has passed for me to make that assumption.

When I get home, Penny is on my couch as usual.

“Have you actually moved at all today?” I ask.

“Work is a bit slow, but I might go home tomorrow. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Thank you so much for staying here while my life is a mess.”

“No problem. I can come back for dinner tomorrow if you like.”

“I’ll see how I go, but I don’t think that will be necessary. Have you spoken to Michelle today? How’s she coping without you?”

“She’s been loving it. She gets the whole bed to herself…full control over the TV remote…”

“You better hurry back before she gets used to it.”

“Ha. I know. The only thing she misses is me helping with the housework.”

I laugh, and then get my phone out to call the realtor. I figure there’s no sense waiting to sort out that area of my life.

I have a text from Corey.

Can you call me when you get a chance?

There are no missed calls from him, so I assume he’s been too lazy – or scared – to contact me properly. I scowl. Why does he have to be so vague? Vague text messages imply to me that the sender is about to impart some difficult news.

Oh God. I don’t even want to think of the possibilities.

I nervously call his number. He answers on the first ring.

“Hey babe, how are you?”

“Fine,” I say cautiously. “You?”

“To be honest, not so good. Mom and Dad are driving me insane, and I was kind of wondering if I could move back into the apartment?”

“Oh. But I thought we were going to rent it out? Then we can both find new places.”

“Yeah, but the thing is, I don’t have any money at the moment. I just got my credit card statement and it’s up to ten grand. I can’t afford moving costs or a rental deposit until I pay some of it off.”

“Jesus, Corey! What have you been buying?” It occurs to me that he might have always had a large debt on his credit card and never told me.

“I don’t know. It just added up over time. You know how it is.”

Actually, I
don’t
know how it is. And part of me wants to ask how much his fancy wardrobe cost, but that would be petty.

“Well, I suppose I could go stay with Penny for a while,” I concede. “I don’t have enough money to pay the mortgage
and
rent somewhere else.”

“You can always stay. I don’t mind taking the spare room.”

“No. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He sighs with relief. “Yeah, me neither, but I didn’t want you to feel like I was kicking you out.”

Now I’m really starting to get annoyed.

“Just don’t worry about it. I’ll be out of here on Monday.”

“Hey, Chrissie, that’s not what I meant…”

“Forget it. You’re clearly only thinking about yourself right now. You know what? Move in, but I’m going to call the realtor and ask her to sell it for us. And just a little head’s up, I’m calling a lawyer too, so you should probably do the same.”

“Babe…”

I hang up.

What the hell? Did Corey just kick me out of our apartment and try to make me feel bad about it?

I phone City Realty and arrange for someone to visit on Monday to do an appraisal on the property. I then pick up the card Kahlua gave me with her lawyer’s contact details on the back. It’s his direct line, which apparently most people aren’t lucky enough to possess.

After chickening out twice, I finally call the number. I double check his name. Uri Goldberg.

A strong Bronx accent answers. “Yeah?”

“Um, hi. My name’s Chrissie Lambert. I got your name from Kahlua and I was hoping you might help me.”

He chuckles. “If you’re after the kind of help Kahlua wanted, you’re wasting your money. I don’t know why that broad even hired me. She ignored all my advice and came out with almost nothing except those damn kids.”

“Well, my husband is essentially kicking me out of our apartment, so I will listen to your advice.”

“Ah, sorry to hear that. You wanna divorce?”

“I don’t know. Are you able to explain the process to me?”

“Sure. I’ll put you through to my assistant and she’ll sort you out. I think I’ve got an opening on Monday, but Darla will confirm everything for you.”

“Thank you.” I wait to be transferred, feeling a sense of foreboding. There’s no going back now.

Afterwards, when I tell Penny about how Corey spoke to me on the phone, she is not impressed.

“I knew it,” she seethes. “He was always acting like the perfect, doting husband, but I just had a feeling something wasn’t right. Now I wonder if he was sucking up to you all those years out of guilt, and now that you know the truth, he knows he doesn’t have to try anymore.”

“Fuck, Penny! That’s really nice. Very supportive and exactly what I want to hear right now.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe he’s trying to make you move out. What a jerk!”

I start to cry. What Penny said did occur to me, but hearing her say it out loud makes it a million times worse.

She softens. “Hey, sis, I’m sorry. Look, let me help you pack. The spare room at our place is all ready for you. You can stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you,” I sniff.

She wraps her arm around my neck and tousles my hair. “Michelle and I will look after you.”

***

I feel like I’m getting swept along in a current towards an unpleasant destination. The thought crosses my mind that Corey might have been mentally preparing for this to happen for a while, so in theory, he could have already grieved for us and moved on. I just wish he’d wait for me to catch up.

By lunchtime on Monday, I have started the process of putting our apartment on the market. I am pleasantly surprised to discover it’s worth a bit more than what Corey and I paid five years ago. Combined with the amount we’ve already paid off the mortgage, we should come out of this quite well.

I text Corey to let him know. I don’t know how emotionally attached he is to our apartment, but at least if we sell it, he’ll have enough money to pay off his credit card and rent another place.

At 2p.m. I have my appointment with Uri to find out how a divorce works. The whole process is a bit overwhelming, but if Corey is reasonable, I should get through it okay. Although, right now, I’m not going to assume anything.

I collect all the necessary paperwork, and start filling it out. And then I find it’s getting late, which means I need to leave the apartment to avoid running into Corey as he’s moving back in.

Which is how I find myself surrounded by haphazardly packed boxes at Penny’s later that evening. Her spare room is tiny, but I’m grateful for anything right now.

Michelle comes in to check on me and offers me a cider. I gratefully accept and then wonder if I’m turning into an alcoholic. I think after tonight, I should probably go on a detox.

“Thanks 'Chelle. I appreciate you putting me up.”

“No problem. We owe you for all the times we’ve crashed at your place in between moves and trips.”

“You’re family. That’s what we do.”

She laughs. “Don’t go getting all mushy on me now. Hey, the girls are coming over soon. Do you want to watch
The Bachelor
with us?”

I freeze. “Which girls?” Penny somehow forgot to mention this pertinent fact earlier.

“Rochelle, Anna and Bridget.”

I instantly feel queasy. “Rochelle?”

“Oh, that’s right. You almost made out with her, didn’t you?” Michelle teases.

“God, don’t remind me. Apparently I hit on Anna too.”

“Don’t worry about it. They probably won’t remember.”

“I wouldn’t count on that. I puked on both of them.”

“I’m sure they’ll forgive you.”

I shake my head. “I think I’ll just stay in my room and unpack. Or maybe I’ll go out.”

“Where would you go? It’s almost seven.”

“I don’t know. The gym?”

“Do you even go to the gym?”

“No, but I could join. I’m sure I read that it gets the endorphins flowing and helps you overcome depression.”

“Watching
The Bachelor
and doing shots every time someone says the word
journey
has the same effect.”

“I’ll think about it.”

She smiles kindly. “It’s going to be okay, Chrissie. Eventually. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you’ll get through this.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“I apologize for sounding like a Hallmark card, but then everything sounds trite when you’re going through something like this.”

I laugh. “Yeah, and I don’t think they make a card that says
I’m sorry to hear your husband might be gay.
”

“They totally should though, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to get settled in, but please consider joining us for the show.”

“Okay.”

I watch her leave. I really like Michelle. She’s so chilled out. She’s helped mellow out my sister a lot. Penny used to be a total stress head (I think it runs in the family), but after meeting Michelle, she became so much more relaxed. Penny and I still revert to our adolescent states when we’re alone, but I’ve noticed a huge difference in the way she interacts with everyone else nowadays.

I take a sip from my bottle of cider and look around the room. The only furniture in here is a double bed with a lumpy mattress, a portable garment rack and a dusty dresser. Nevertheless, it’s time to think positive. I unpack a box and put some of my clothes in the dresser drawers. Just the simple act of moving my stuff feels like a step in the right direction. I then head out into the kitchen to look for a sponge to clean the top of the dresser. Thankfully no one has arrived yet.

I’m just about to have a go at Penny for not telling me about the girls coming over, when I see something on her hall table.

“Why did you bring that awful music box from my place?” I ask her.

She looks over. “Oh, that. Yeah, that’s mine. I got invited to the baby shower too.”

I stare at her. “I didn’t even know you knew Jen.”

“Well, obviously I didn’t hang out with her at school because I was so much younger than you guys, but I met up with her about a year ago when I was promoting a charity event she was organizing.”

“How come you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“That you’re now friends with one of my best friends from school?”

“Yeah. So?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I just thought you might have mentioned it.”

“Well I RSVP’d for both of us already, so we can go together.”

“Wait, what? No! I’m not going.”

“Yes you are. It’s all set.”

“Penny! Have you not considered what a complete nightmare that would be for me? I don’t want to be surrounded by all those women with their rich husbands and perfect children!”

“It’ll be fun. Believe me, those women will wish they were you. You still have a rocking body and you can sleep in as much as you want. Plus, you have a glamorous job.”

“It won’t be like that at all! I’ll have to put up with all the bitchy girls pretending to be jealous, but they’ll secretly be glad they have heterosexual husbands.”

“No one knows about Corey.”

“News travels fast in this town.”

“Stop it, you’re being silly. You’re coming with me and that’s final. Do it for Jen. She’s your friend. It’s her special occasion, remember?”

I guiltily take a gulp of cider. She’s right. I shouldn’t let my feelings get in the way of congratulating an old friend.