Savin' Me (21 page)

“He hasn’t told me much. I know he was almost
engaged, but I don’t know what happened.”

His throat bobbed with his effort to swallow,
and his eyes grew cloudy. “Her name was Lindsey, and it didn’t end
well. I don’t know how he survived it. I’m not sure I would
have.”

She shifted her attention to Steve, who wore
a solemn expression that matched Kevin’s. He was staring at the
ocean and seemed a million miles away.

“I’ve tried to get him to open up and talk to
me. That’s how I found out he’d been engaged… almost engaged. But
when not completely shutting me out, he’s been vague.”

Steve shifted in his seat and cleared his
throat. “Getting him to open up won’t be easy. He’s lived in his
own personal hell for ten years. He’s put down roots and gotten
comfortable there.”

Kevin pulled her out of the chair and wrapped
her in a warm, affectionate embrace. He kissed the top of her head,
and said, “We’re here for you. If you need anything…” He pulled
away and shrugged nonchalantly. “And I mean anything… like someone
to beat some sense into Erik. Just let us know.” He brushed his
knuckles across her cheek, and added, “Just don’t give up on him.
Okay?”

She smiled despite the tears rolling down her
cheeks. She wasn’t sure what to do to get through to Erik, but she
drew courage and strength from the depth of caring these two had
for him, and by transference, for her. As she fought off the
suffocating despair, hope and resolve took flight in her gut.

Speaking mostly to herself, she said, “Okay.
If I have to wade through hell to reach him, that’s what I’ll do.”
She winked at Kevin, then smiled at Steve. “Can I give you a ride
home?”

It was hard to tell which had done more
damage, the biking accident or the Southern Comfort, as he gripped
the bottle of Tylenol and stood with a grunt and groan. “That’d be
great. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll be ready.”

“Remember, sugar,” Kevin said, as she opened
the French door. “We’re here for anything you need. Just don’t give
up on him.”

***

Erik leaned against the old oak tree and
stared at the pristinely maintained grave. Anguish and regret had
been his constant companions for ten years, whether he was
consciously thinking of Lindsey or not. But whenever he came here,
self-loathing and hatred threatened to consume him. It had been
three years since he’d made this trip, and why he had the
destructive need to come at four o’clock this morning, he didn’t
know.

Bullshit. You know exactly why.

Yeah, because he loved Kat and was terrified
of destroying her, just as he had Lindsey. He needed the physical
reminder of what his kind of love did to a person.

There were a lot of things about Kat that
reminded him of Lindsey: the long, black hair and green eyes, but
mostly her kind and gentle nature.

Grief clogged his throat as he wondered what
Lindsey would be doing right now, if she were alive. Would they
have made it together this long? So many people didn’t stay married
anymore. Would they have been one of the lucky ones? Would she be
hauling their children to soccer games or dance lessons? Would she
and his mother have become friends, or at least tolerated each
other? Would she have adjusted to life on the coast, after having
grown up in the mountains?

She might have loved the coast, had you given
her the chance to find out.

He dropped his head into his upraised hands.
Sitting here, asking these unanswerable questions was pointless.
All these what ifs were nothing but dead ends. The real question,
the one he refused to cast a light on, was, what about Kat?

His heart begged him to get back on that
bike, go back to Riverside, and grovel at her feet for being an
undeserving ass. But his head screamed it would be a selfish move.
He needed to stay as far away from her as possible.

Dust stung his eyes as a sudden gust of wind
lashed across the cemetery. As it subsided, a slow, gentle breeze
brushed his face. It felt like Lindsey’s fingers as she caressed
his cheek, something she did often.

He moved closer to the marker for a better
look at her picture. Was her spirit here with him? If she could
speak to him, what would she say?

As he stroked a finger along the picture’s
edge, a chill washed over his neck, and an urgent need to see her
parents shook him. He dropped his hand and sighed. As much as he
would love to see them, he couldn’t. If he did, he would have to
tell them what prompted his visit.

In the years since Lindsey’s death, they
encouraged him to move on with his life in every way and had
reassured him it was okay, even healthy, for him to fall in love
again.

But he’d sworn there would never be anyone
else. Guilt and shame kept him from admitting he’d been wrong.
Besides, there wasn’t any point confessing anything to Lindsey’s
parents. He and Kat were finished, and that was that.

***

Kat fought a valiant battle, but feared
losing the war. As she paced circles around her apartment,
wondering where Erik had gone, the temptation to be miserable grew
exponentially. Steve seemed to know, but would only say if his
hunch was right, it would be late before Erik returned.

Moping around never fixed anything and,
usually, neither did running. But it made her feel better and kept
her mind occupied, so she changed into her running clothes and
shoes and hit the streets. As her feet pounded the pavement,
running along the waterfront, then veering off along the narrow
frontage road, she considered the bits and pieces she knew about
Erik.

The night they met, through subtlety and
innuendos, he let her know he didn’t do serious relationships.
After hearing stories of his wild and crazy lifestyle, she assumed
it was because he enjoyed living a free and easy, unencumbered
life. However, the closer she got to him, the less certain she was.
He didn’t seem to embrace the lifestyle as much as he simply wanted
to avoid relationships.

But why? Why had he been “almost”
engaged?

Kevin and Steve made it sound as if something
tragic had happened. She considered doing an internet search to see
what she could find, but that felt wrong. It seemed like an
invasion of his privacy, and she’d rather hear his story directly
from him. She just had to figure out a way to get him to open up
and let her in. If he didn’t, she’d never have the chance to soothe
his old wounds and help him heal.

As she rounded the final bend, almost home,
her legs and lungs burned with each step. The pain was a wonderful
diversion to the ache and frustration gripping her heart, and she
considered going the distance again. But it was almost dark, and
there were several things she needed to do for work, especially
since she hadn’t gone back on Thursday night as planned. With a
deep breath and a final push, she sprinted the rest of the way to
her apartment, hoping and praying exhaustion helped her get a
decent night’s sleep.

Chapter Fourteen

Kat slogged into the office conference room
and dropped into the chair, uninspired and as enthusiastic as she
was going to get for the early Monday morning staff meeting.
Everyone except Rusty was already seated, and they greeted her with
a variety of nods, smiles, and what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you
expressions.

Despite pushing herself to the point of
exhaustion on her run, she hadn’t slept a wink. Her mind had
insisted on hashing and rehashing the situation with Erik until she
was physically and emotionally exhausted. Apparently, even
exhaustion wasn’t the magic bullet for sleeping.

Seth’s shoulder brushed hers as he leaned in
close and whispered, “I’ve seen road kill look better than you. Are
you okay?”

She managed a chuckle and patted his hand.
Despite his outlandish phrasing, she knew he meant well, and she
appreciated his concern. Giving him a weary smile, she said,
“You’re a good man, Seth. Someday, you’re going to make a great
wife.”

He rolled his eyes and tried to look put off,
but the blush coloring his cheeks and the veiled gratitude in his
eyes let her know he appreciated the comment.

A sound at the door caught her attention, and
she turned in time to see Rusty shuffle into the conference room.
Instantly, she went on high alert. Something was wrong because
Rusty didn’t shuffle. Ever. He always moved with zest and vigor and
barely contained excitement. But today, he moved as if his feet
were ten times too heavy for his legs.

He glanced around the room, seemingly to make
sure everyone was accounted for. But when his gaze landed on Kat,
his brow dropped slightly and an indefinable expression clouded his
features. His gaze lingered on her a little longer than everyone
else, and he cleared his throat before looking away.

Kat pulled out of her slump and sat straight
up. She tried to regain his attention, but after his initial
glance, he seemed determined to look anywhere but at her.

Her mind kicked into gear as a jolt of fear
shot through her. When they’d gotten back from the beach, she and
Steve had left Erik’s car in his driveway. Kevin had then dropped
each of them off at the respective homes, and after that, she
hadn’t heard from any of them.

What if something had happened to Erik?
Wouldn’t Steve or Kevin have called her?

As her thoughts continued to spiral out of
control, Rusty started the meeting. She tried to concentrate, but
the lack of sleep made her distress worse, and her attention
remained divided between the meeting’s conversation and thoughts of
Erik.

Until Elise started talking… and key words
buzzed like ringtones in the muddled fog of Kat’s brain.

Brandon Kauffman

Kauffman Motors

Extensive media.

Billboards.

Elise was talking about a new business
account she’d picked up over the weekend. A contact
Kat
had
made last week and had an appointment with tomorrow.

Kat whipped her head around to face Elise.
“You bitch!” The words, filled with all the repressed frustration
and pent-up anger from the weekend, flew out of her mouth before
she processed the open and close motion of her lips.

Elise froze with her eyes wide and her mouth
dropped open. Someone at the table gasped, probably Seth, while
Rusty turned to her, then stilled, unsure he’d actually heard Kat
right.

Elise’s form grew wavy from the black spots
floating in front of Kat’s eyes. The blood rushing through her
system reached Mach three and sent her blood pressure to a
potentially lethal level. She thought back to Friday morning, when
she’d stood in her office and glanced around, certain someone had
been in it the night before, but unable to pinpoint a specific
reason for the belief.

“You took that file and those notes from my
desk. I knew someone had been in my office Thursday night, but I
didn’t take the time to go through everything and figure out what
was missing.”

Rusty turned to Elise and raised an
eyebrow.

Elise’s face flushed with color, and a sheen
of perspiration appeared on her forehead. Not quite looking at
Rusty, or anyone else, she said, “I’ve been working on acquiring
this account for weeks.”

“That’s bullshit. When I talked to Brandon
last week, he never mentioned talking with you. I have an
appointment set with him for tomorrow afternoon. If you’d been
working with him, I think he would have told me. He certainly
wouldn’t have wasted his time making an appointment with me.”

“Meeting’s over,” Rusty said, glancing around
the conference room table. “Elise and Kat, you stay put. Everyone
else out.”

The room emptied as if the place were on
fire. The last one out shut the door, and as soon as the lock
clicked into place, Rusty turned to Kat. “Tell me about your
conversation with Brandon.”

When Elise opened her mouth, he threw up a
hand and gave her a look that dropped the temperature in the room
twenty degrees. “You’ll have your turn. In a minute.”

Kat gulped at his fierce expression, even
though it wasn’t directed at her. She took a few deep breaths and
thanked the fates that had forced her to develop the ability to
reclaim her professional veneer in a matter of seconds. She also
recognized that the majority of her emotional upset was with Erik,
not this situation, so she forced herself to put things in their
proper perspective.

Ignoring Elise, she focused on Rusty, and
said, “I spoke with Brandon last week and set an appointment for
tomorrow. I saw their ads in the paper and felt like they needed
help. We didn’t talk about a lot of specifics over the phone. It
was a general cold call. But…” She turned and glared at Elise. “I’d
made detailed notes of all that I would recommend. One of the items
was to increase their presence through the use of billboards. Not
just in Riverside, but in the surrounding markets and especially
the rural areas.”

She explained a few of the other specific
recommendations she’d jotted down—most of which Elise had already
discussed, unfortunately—then waited for Rusty to comment.

Rusty turned to Elise, who resembled a cat
that’d been tossed into a full bathtub, haughty and pissed off.
“I’m sure you have a different story to tell.”

Elise squared her shoulders and lifted her
chin. “It sounds to me like she’s been reading my notes.”

Rusty scrubbed a hand down his face. “I
figured you’d say something like that.” He tapped his pen on the
table, presumably trying to figure out where to go from here. He
looked as tired as she felt, and Kat regretted that he’d been drawn
into the middle of Elise’s bullshit.

Finally, he took a deep breath and said to
Elise, “We’ll talk about this more later. Right now, I have
something else that I need to discuss with Kat.”

Accepting the dismissal for what it was,
Elise gathered her papers and left the conference room with what
Kat considered to be more pride than the circumstances
warranted.