Saving Grace (13 page)

I fumbled with the front door to the guy's apartment building almost dropping my guitar case. "Hey
,
Grace," Alex's voice murmured behind me.

I turned my head and smiled into the extremely hung over face of Alex, "Ha, Alex. You look like I feel." He had deep purple bags under very blood shot eyes.

He held up a fancy cardboard drink holder, "Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night, but I have coffee. Shane sent me for it this morning when he told us he asked you to come and practice with us today." He leaned his back against the door to hold it open for me, nodding for me to go through. "Black with sweetener, right?"

I stopped walking and turned around laughing, "How'd you know how I liked my coffee?"

Alex's cheeks turned red and the color spread down his neck. For someone who was such a ham and so full of confidence, he sure did blush a lot. "Shane told me." He tilted his head and his green eyes turned serious. "Listen, I got to get this off my mind before we go in there, okay? Mad World isn't just a band that vomits out covers of other people's shit for a crap load of
drunk
people in a bar. We're a group of composers, writers, artists,
and
musicians.
You
are a part of that Grace." His smile was genuine. "I don't give a damn who you sleep or don't sleep with, even though I really would love to be your first. I don't care what Shane says, or what the hell was up his ass last night, but you're a huge part of this band now. You were, the minute you walked through the door in the audition and showed us you could play."

I slung my guitar case over my back and threw my arms around him giving him a hug. "Thanks Alex. That means a lot to me."

He barked out a laugh, "Damn girl, don't go rubbing up against me like that, my mind is doing all sorts of freakiness with your ass right now. Get in the
studio before I cash in that V-
card of yours!" Then he chased me down the stairs and right into the studio.

The door thrust open and slammed itself up against the wall with a bang. Everyone inside moaned and grabbed their heads.
Ethan
sat behind his drum kit with his forehead on his snare drum and a pair of sunglasses on. "Bro, don't
make another sound until I get my coffee."

Brayden
was strumming his
bass, looked up,
and nodded to us as we walked in. He looked like he slept more than
an
yone
did
and when he smiled at me
,
I could have sworn his teeth did that little sparkly cartoon gleam.

Shane sat on one of the couches with his acoustic guitar between his legs and his forehead resting on its neck, he held a small black pick between his lips. My heart stopped at the sight of him and started again double time when his blue eyes locked on mine. His posture became suddenly rigid and he sat motionless as if made of stone. Then came the slump of his muscular arms and shoulders that relaxed with his long deep exhale of breath as if he'd been holding it in waiting for me. The thought sent a cool electric shiver up the middle of my spine that caused my entire body to tremble. His eyes widened when he noticed and then one side of his gorgeous mouth went up to show half a stunning grin.

That's when it really hi
t me. If I had to stay here
without my angel, then a life without having Shane in it was unimaginable, unthinkable, unbelievable, unfair
,
and just was not going to happen. I was a normal human girl, and now I had no one for my soul to stay faithful
to. I can do whatever I wanted. Right then standing in front of that grin of his, being one of Shane's
one-night
flings was looking almost appetizing to me. Almost.

Ethan's deep voice cut my thoughts short. "Play that new rhythm again Shane, let's all listen to it and improvise
. The
n we could sit around and think of some lyrics for it."

I unbuckled my case and slid my guitar out. It felt alive in my hands and I couldn't wait for it to sing
. With my
guitar,
I could write my own stories, my own poems,
and my
own destiny. No one could take
away the feelings, the emotions
or
the truth of my notes. They could hide secrets and provoke images of words that never should be whispered.
I could compose the melody of my aching heart and write into it my own happily ever after since no one seemed to think after all my suffering I deserved one. That's okay, I would make my own. My own story where the two distinct beautiful harmonies could merge as one and the sounds of it would...let you see a glimpse of heaven. I tossed my case against the wall with my coat and sat down crossed legged on the floor and tuned up.

"It's got lyrics," Shane murmured as he walked over and sat across from
me crossing his legs like mine. Our knees brushed each other
'
s and my body trembled.
Oh my God
.

"What did you say, bro?" Ethan asked.

Shane's eyes met
mine
;
looking at me through those impossibly long dark lashes. Intense. Dangerous. Beautiful. "It has lyrics. I'm just not ready to sing them yet...
i
t's called Until You," he told Ethan but his scorching gaze never left mine. Then out of the
silence,
a slow addictive melody languidly danced through the strings of his instrument and the world just ceased to exist around me
.
The notes
started
as tiny whispers; little echoes of
murmurs; of secrets. They rose in volume and intensity and danced themselves along my skin
,
leaving
goose bumps
wherever they touched
. The melody woke me like I was long dead and it was the first sound to touch my newborn ears.

Shane cocked his head at me, "Come
o
n,
girl, play with me," he whispered. His white
tee shirt
strained against the muscles of his chest and shoulders as his fingers moved along the strings.

A wave of small tremors washed along my hands and the tips of my fingers tingled with anticipation. I wet my lips to try to moisten the desert that sprouted in my mouth. My insides quivered with a slow
buildup
of something that I couldn't quite
gr
asp at the identity of.
Maybe those elusive butterflies were about to attack
.

I listened closely to the melody Shane twisted into the air. Getting lost in its story, I closed my eyes and let my fingers sway themselves against the strings of my guitar. A stunning smile, more perfect than the sun, passed over his lips encouraging me to play more. I thrust myself into the emotional passion of the riff and I swear I felt something inside me break loose and unravel. Getting lost in the music
,
my body rocked, each note eased me into forgetting who I was, just leaving my raw soul and my guitar.

My fingers writhed along the strings, slow and steady notes telling of my hunger. His sharp tones answered me back with strength and power. Our harmony quickened together as if we needed a rush to our release, until an explosion of sound tore at our hearts, our souls. You couldn't tell our melodies apart, where his story begun or my story ended. We played as one.

All the anger, all the heartache and sorrow drifted away on each note and passion and intensity seemed to reverberate throughout the room. A raw heated tension twisted from the music and pulsated throughout my body until it
murmured in our ears like a soft flapping of a butterfly's wings, unraveling until finally there was silence.

My skin tingled and I was hyper-aware of Shane's eyes on my lips, my eyes, my neck
,
my hands, all of me. He frantically searched my features caressing me with his eyes, his face paled and he swallowed hard, "I'm so
sorr
y,
Grace, I..."

"Please don't," I whispered bringing my gaze to his. "Let's not try to hurt each other
anymore
with words, there's been enough damage. Let's just play," I pleaded looking away. I know I was being impossible, but we had an audience and the words I wanted to say couldn't be said,
yet
.

His hands lingered over his strings, his focus still on me as the miles of sadness spread themselves out between us. It felt so wrong to be so far away from him and yet so wrong to be so close.

I stayed at the studio for three hours running through all the Mad World songs with the guys, trying desperately to ignore all the
sideways glances
Shane was giving me and all the flat out requests from Alex to let him
"go where no penis has gone before."
I left immediately after Alex, who dubbed himself the
Orifice Bandit
, started discussing in detail about blogging the whole experience.
Gah
!

Needing to get
coffee drunk
, I headed to the nearest Starbucks for some sort of whipped cream infested caffeine. I was in dire need of scoring
a sugar rush
if I didn't want to go home to bed and crash until tomorrow. And
Lea was already complaining that I've been spending to
o
much time trying to crawl back into a coma. I ordered some caramel specialty drink and a scone that looked like it c
ould pack ten pounds onto my bottom
just by looking at it. I curled up on one of their ginormous purple couches and devoured it all. Then, and don't judge me, I ordered another coffee, this time chocolate flavored, and um...another giant sco
n
e. Hey, everybody deals with their demons their own way, I seem to eat and drink mine.

"Grace?"

Damn, just as I was about to slip into a food coma
. I looked up to see Ryan's smiling face. He stood leaning his knee against the arm of the couch holding a coffee, dressed in a pair of black cargo pants and an ancient looking bomber jacket. A faded black baseball cap sat backwards on his head restraining the chunky layers of his blond hair.

"Hey,
you doing
okay?" He nodded to the empty spot on the couch next to me and asked, "Need some company?"

I gave the couch cushion a little pat, "Sure, Ryan, I'd love some." I gave him a smile when he sat down.

"So, how you been holding up?" he asked fixing a steady gaze me. "You must have had one hell of a hangover this morning, huh?"

I felt my cheeks burn.
"Yeah, no use denying it, huh?
I spent the night hugging the toilet while Lea held my hair back," I laughed.

"Doesn't sound like fun. It got even crazier after you left. I can't see any of those boys getting out of bed this morning," he chuckled.
I was afraid to ask
.

"Ah, they're fine. I just came from practicing with them."

He nodded his head and looked thoughtful for a minute. I studied his mouth as he smiled at me; he had a bottom lip piercing that every now and then he touched with his tongue. It was insanely sexy. "Yeah, I heard you guys are going to play a gig next
Saturday, and Friday night we have
the notorious
Vixen4 playing
." He crossed his arms, his dark eyes twinkling. "I can't wait to see you up on stage again. I absolutely love watching you. You're one heck of a musician."

"Thank you," I said. At that
moment,
my brain chose to remember I told him his lips were kissable the night before and I knew my cheeks had to have turned five shades of red.

Smiling
shyly,
he pulled himself off the couch, "So, um...I guess I'll see you around."

I tilted my head and nodded, smiling. "Yeah, probably."

"Will you be at the bar tonight?" he asked walking backwards towards the door.