Scandalous: The Senator's Secret Bride (16 page)

“You’re my wife,” he whispered, leaning in close again. “I can do whatever I damn well please.”

“John,” I said, putting my hand on his arm, “I’m nobody’s wife. Not really. I haven’t even seen you in—“

“
If
you were my wife,” he said, taking my arm in his and walking me out into the hallway, “You’d be the wife of a man running for US Senate. And
if
you were my wife
and
the outreach director for my campaign, well you’d hardly see me in the month of October.” He led me out of the room and down an empty hallway.

“Hey now,” I said. “I haven’t even seen you in forever, and the first thing you’re trying to do is make out with me?”

“I
missed
you Sonia.” He encircled my waist with his broad hands and leaned in, his lips crushing against mine. His kiss pulled me in, his lips tender and sweet, searching and hungry against my own.

“I missed you too. It’s been a while,” I said, pulling away slightly. “I appreciated the emails. But I do remember to take my vitamins.”

“I know. I just didn’t know what to say. Is it okay if—if I ask about the baby?”

“The baby. The baby is fine, I think. I’ve been to my doctor once since the wedding, and he says everything is going well. My iron count is higher since I started taking the pills. Everything is okay.”

“I know you still don’t know what you’re going to do, but I just think about you. That’s all.”

“I know. I am
keeping
the pregnancy, you know. I just don’t know about… adoption, or anything like that.”

“For what it’s worth, you’d be a great mom.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’re kind when you need to be, stern when you need to be. And there’s a core of you, something beautiful and good. A child would be lucky to have you for a mother.”

“I just don’t know a thing about being a mom. And I’m no more decided than I was a month ago. And we’re no further along in our—”
 

“Relationship? Yes, we can call it that,” he said. John twirled me around and caught me in his arms. “I’d be there. I’d be more than happy to give this a try. Take you on a date, at least. You’re the kind of woman I’ve always needed. And it took being away from you to know it.”John brushed my hair aside and kissed me on the cheek, moving his lips to mine again, hungrier and more insistent this time. He pushed me against the wall, lifting a hand to my breast and moving his thumb over the highly sensitive nipple. I moaned, a rush running through me as he gripped my waist and leaned in to kiss my neck. His lips were hot against my skin, his fingers reaching up to trace the neckline of my dress.
 

“John, come on.”

“I can’t help it. I’ve been thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve
wanted
you, Sonia. And I can’t help but say… pregnancy suits you. You look incredibly sexy. I have to get back to the event, but I want to see you tonight.”
 

“John, I thought we were through with that. It’s only gotten us into trouble.” He brushed his thumb over my nipple again, bringing it to stiffness. A hot rush ran through my body, sending that aching need to my sex. I knew I would see John that day; I just didn’t know how it would affect me.

“But we’re married. At least a little bit. Why can’t we do what we want for once? Wouldn’t it be nice to come back to my office here at the hotel for a moment after the speech? I can show you what I’ve been thinking about.”

“John, I don’t know. Yes, it would be nice. But we have to think about Janice and what she knows. She could very well have cameras planted here too.”

“Doesn’t matter. Married,” he said, kissing me again. The flames traveling through my body took me over, sparking and growing steady through my thighs and into the pit of my belly.
Yes, yes I do want this man
.
I’ve been wanting him. I need him,
I thought.
He’s mine. I have every right.

“She can still get us. I know it. She’ll find a way to spin this thing that isn’t good for either of us. I know she will,” I said.

“She would have made her move by now. We don’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. We really don’t. Let me convince you just this one time.”

“Maybe this once, but we can’t keep doing this unless we have plans for... I don’t know, everything.”
 

“I’m trying to convince you, Sonia, that this is real. It’s just a secret for the time being. We can’t afford to lose the election—”

“Let me stop you right there, John. It’s secret because neither of us knows what we’re doing. You’d admit to the world if you thought it was
real
.”

“Sonia, so would you. You keep running away—”

“It seems like you’re the one running. Not running
away
from me, but running to the election.You know what? Let’s not do this again.” I pulled away from John, but he caught my hand.
 

“Please. You know I want you.”

“I want you, too. I think I want something else as well.”

“Then let’s tell the world. Let’s tell everyone. We can announce it tonight, Sonia.” I rolled my eyes.

“Kelly would put you out of your misery before she let you do that,” I said.
 

“She doesn’t have the final word. I do,” he said.
 

“What if I said yes? What if I told you that’s exactly what I wanted?”

“I’d tell you you’re crazy. And I know that you wouldn’t do it before the last vote was cast.”

“I might.”

“John, we’re still on shaky ground. It’s not sturdy enough, not right now. It’s built for sex—not surviving a scandal. And one of our own creation.” John let my hand go and nodded.

“I won’t back down, Sonia. I still want you. I still
care
about you. You can come to my room tonight and we can start talking about our future.” John took me in his arms, kissing me hard.

“I might. You’re hard to resist. I lose all my wits when you touch me. But mark my word, this thing, it’s not built to survive an election.” He kissed me again and put his hands around my waist, fanning the flames of desire at my very center. Just as I pulled away, there was a bright flash and a click at the end of the hallway.
 

“There she is! John Reynolds’ wife!” The photographer had caught us in mid-embrace with my lips parted in surprise. John stepped in front of me, putting his hand up to the camera. But there were more photographers and reporters, crowding into the mouth of the hallway.
 

“Is it true that you married Sonia because she’s pregnant? Is she after your money?”

“Where in the hell did you get that idea?” John put his arm around me, then tried to push his way through the crowd. I put my head down, a flush coming over my body.

“Is she pregnant? We heard that she joined your campaign as a shill for Janice Howell. That you’re paying her to keep quiet...” The crowd of reporters backed us against a wall, the flashes firing over and over.

“What did that woman say to you people?” John’s voice rose. He raised his arm and swung it wide, creating a small space in front of us. “It’s an arrangement, that’s all,” he shouted. His words stung me like a slap across the face. I looked up at him as he tried to pull me through the crowd. The anger rose up in me in a hot wave.

“That’s not what you said,” my voice low. The audience silenced, the flashes focusing on me. “That’s not what you said!” I pulled away from him and stomped through the crowd, pushing my way past the reporters.

“Is it true that you were hired by Janice Howell? That she’s been paying you to sleep with the senator?” My stomach twisted, and I kept my head down, pushing my way through the sea of people. “Is it true that she’s pregnant with your child, Mr. Reynolds? Is she using it to extort money from you? Janice says that you’ve both been paying her and that she has
proof
.”
 

“No comment,” he growled.
 

“Is it true that she’s a prostitute?” I tried to push through the photographers stationed at the end of the hall, but they wouldn’t—or couldn’t—let me pass. I turned to see John as he grabbed the reporter by the collar and shoved him back into the mass of people behind him. I gasped.
 

“I’m done talking about this. Leave her be. Like I said, it’s just an arrangement. That’s all.” Kelly appeared and reached out to me. She pulled me through the crowd, then put her arm around me and ran with me back to the elevator. She shoved me inside and pressed the up button. The last thing I saw were John’s deep blue eyes on mine as Kelly ran for him and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him away from the sea of flashing lights.

I ran down the hallway of the third floor and locked myself into my room. I opened the tiny refrigerator, grabbing a pack of peanut M&Ms, sinking to the floor. I shoved the candy into my mouth, barely tasting the chocolate as I swallowed. Shaking, I stood and put on a pot of coffee. I patted my belly.

“Sorry, baby. I gave up my morning coffee, but I really need
something
right now.” I closed my eyes, listening to the coffee drip into the pot.
 

It’s just an arrangement. An arrangement.

This isn’t me. This isn’t where I need to be.

John was backed into a corner, but how quickly he had turned around what he’d said about sharing our relationship with the world. There was a soft knock at my door. I walked to open it, fully expecting to see Kelly standing in front of me in her yoga pants and kimono robe. Instead, I looked up to see John, his face stripped of the positivity it had held before. He walked in and sat down at the desk, swiveling back and forth in the small office chair. My heartbeat increased, and a flush crept over my face. How could a man manage to be so damn sexy and so infuriating, all at the same time?
 

“Sonia—”

“I think I need some time off from the campaign, John. It’s not going to be good for you to have me anywhere around.” I held the cup of coffee in front of me like a shield.

“Absolutely not. I need you here.” His voice was hard and stern, a far cry from the pillow talk of earlier.
 

“As what? Your outreach director… or your booty call secret wife? The worst thing is that I’ll respond every time you ask me.” Tears started in my eyes. I would always come running, driven toward him by some unstoppable force. “I’ll always be there, running to your hotel room.” My voice broke, tears at the corner of my eyes.

“I need you on the campaign. We need you to win. We’ll figure out the scandal along the way.” It was hard to look at him—those eyes as deep as midnight, those broad shoulders, the length of his body that made me feel small for once in my life. But those words—
it’s just an arrangement
—made me know I needed to go home. I looked down at the floor, frozen where I stood.

“It’s almost over,” I said. “You and Kelly, you can figure this out. I can’t. I’ve already gained ten pounds, and I’ll be showing soon. The media will have a field day with it. The worst has happened. We can’t win this, John. And I’m done. My body’s exhausted, my brain, my heart. It’s all been focused on you and—”

“How do you think I feel? I poured my whole
life
into winning this election. And I don’t know if you’re staying or going from one minute to the next.”
 

“Well that’s one question you have the answer for now. I’m going. You can come find me after the whole damn thing is over. If you even want to.”

“It was all a mistake, wasn’t it? All of this, with you and me?” His words twisted through my heart like the blade of a knife.

“Yes,” I said. As much as part of me wanted John—wanted him for real— we were
never
anything real. As much as we’d flirted with love, we’d never reached the place where we could truly let go. We’d come together in the frenzy of the campaign, our hearts and minds focused on
winning
. Our little relationship never had a chance.

“Sonia.” He leaned toward me, and I backed away. “Please stay. Until the end of the campaign. This was
our
mistake. I need you here to figure it out with me.”
 

“Dammit John, it was
your
mistake to sleep with a woman ten years younger than you. I’m not the one seeking a position of power. I’m just the woman behind the scenes, remember? You’re a big boy, John. You can figure all this out by yourself. We’ve already lost. There’s no damn use in me staying. No damn use in getting hurt some more.” I looked at him, boiling hot rage coming to the surface. “I quit, John. I can’t do it anymore! I don’t have just myself to think of now. I’m not bringing this child into the world to be the topic of gossip columns.”

“So you’re leaving? That’s it, is it? Taking my child away—taking whatever chance we had of winning? You’re just going to hide your head in the sand?” His voice rose in volume, anger hidden in his words. He leaned forward in the office chair. The tears rolled quietly down my cheeks. My throat burned with it, my body shaking.
 

“That’s right. I can’t be the woman you lean on, John. I can’t be the one you’re calling in the middle of the night, serving your every need. The woman carrying your secret child.”

“Not so secret, anymore.” He laughed, nasty and sharp.

“No, not so secret, anymore.” I stood and walked to the door, my bare feet quiet on the carpet. I opened the door for the Senator Hopeful of Virginia. “Go, please. I don’t want to see you anymore. Not tonight. And don’t worry. You won’t have to deal with me wanting anything from you. I can take care of myself, and tomorrow morning, I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Sonia, is this about what I said? That it was an
arrangement
?”

“It’s about that, yes. But it’s about every day since I met you. Going from hot to cold, tiptoeing around the office… trying to avoid you, trying to stay cool, and calm, and professional… and you pull me in every time. You’ve proven to me that I’m another idiot woman, driven crazy by a man she can never really have.”

“If I pull you in every time…” He paused and ran his fingers through that full, thick salt-and-pepper hair. “Maybe there’s something there, something we can explore after all of this is resolved. Something better than all the mistakes we’ve made.”