Scarlet Awakening (Sweet Secrets #2) (10 page)

Chapter 18

The car ride home was silent. My head was swirling with thoughts of what had happened, and what was going to happen. I could tell that Ella was lost in thought as well. She had her head pressed against the window behind the passenger seat, and was staring out of it with a doleful expression. In front of her, Grandma was crying silently, dabbing at her face with a tissue from the glove compartment. The only indication that she was crying was how she was constantly raising her hand to wipe her face. Grandpa drove us home, not even bothering to turn on the radio.

After Mom fainted last night, the ambulance arrived to rush her to the nearest hospital. We followed it to the hospital and then spent all night sitting in the waiting room while mom’s head was stitched up. She had a concussion, and had to stay at the hospital overnight to be monitored. Other than her stitches having to heal, and her concussion, she was going to be fine. We all slept in the waiting room until morning when visiting hours began just to see her before we headed home to shower and change. Then we went back to the hospital to wait for her to wake up so we could be there for her.

When she finally woke up, she complained of a terrible headache, but was happy to see us. She looked pale and thin in her hospital gown, and her head was wrapped in a large bandage to keep the stitches covered. At one point a nurse came in to change her gauze and re-wrap her head. Ella and I got to see the rows of stitches in the back of her head that held her purple, bruised skin together. Ella almost vomited at the sight. Mom asked me to take a picture of it with my phone to show her.

We stayed for hours, and even ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria. I didn’t like the idea of eating in hospitals. Something about the idea of eating food from a place where most of the people were sick in some way grossed me out. I know hospitals were very sanitary and followed all sorts of health regulations, but that didn’t ease my mind or my queasy stomach.

Finally, a few hours later, Mom decided to get some rest, and sent us home against our will. I was tired, and had an uncomfortable kink in my neck from sleeping awkwardly in the chair in the waiting room. Last night I’d only gotten about two hours of uninterrupted sleep. I woke up at three in the morning to call Dad, hoping to catch him before he left for work. I filled him in on what had happened with Mom, and about how she was in the hospital, and we spoke for a while. He mainly consoled me, saying that I did a good job calming her down the first time, and that her accident had been no one’s fault when I confessed that I felt guilty for not anticipating her fall. After talking for a half hour, he had to hang up to leave for work, but sent his love and said that Mom would be all right. He wanted me to keep him updated, so I texted him the picture of Mom’s stitches, and information about her being all right.

When we pulled into the driveway, everyone piled out of Grandpa’s car and headed inside. I followed Ella up to her room and shut the door behind us. She swiped her hair out of her face and sighed. Without her makeup, she looked young and innocent. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top for herself, then tossed me a pair of cotton shorts and a shirt as well. We changed in silence. Then Ella climbed into bed, turning on the lamp on her bedside table while I turned off the main light and then joined her. We laid under the covers on our backs, side by side staring at the ceiling.

Ella broke the silence with a sigh. Then she said, “I’m glad Mom’s okay.”

“Yeah,” I replied with a nod. “She really freaked me out.”

“Tell me about it,” she mumbled. “I thought she was going to die. There was just so much blood.” She made a gagging sound.

It had seemed like there was a lot blood. I was thankful that Grandma had cleaned it up fast before we went to the hospital because the smell made me feel sick to my stomach.

“I know,” I said, closing my eyes and just staring at the back of my eyelids for a moment. It felt good to rest them.

Ella wasn’t ready to relax though. She had more to say, as indicated by the way she cleared her throat as if she was preparing to go into a long spiel. “Are you really going to stay with Mom for the year?”

I opened my eyes and turned my head to stare at Ella’s profile. She looked at me, and I noticed that her eyes were glistening with fresh tears.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I want to go back to Virginia. I love Mom, but I don’t know if I want to stay here. I kind of still feel like she betrayed Dad,” I admitted.

Ella bit her lip and nodded. She tried to blink away the tears, but one fell down her cheek and dripped on her pillow. “I do too, but I don’t know, I kind of want to stay.”

I tried to hide the shock on my face. I didn’t want Ella to stay if I ended up going back to live with Dad. I didn’t want our parents’ separation to split us up. I tried to keep my expression cool, not wanting to influence her decision since her happiness was the most important factor.

“I just feel like Mom needs us here more than Dad needs us there,” Ella continued in a near whisper. As if hearing her words spoken aloud would make them more true, and she didn’t want to face the fact that Mom really and truly
needed
us around. I didn’t want to believe it either. The children were supposed to need their parents, not the other way around. Mom wasn’t supposed to rely on us for stability. Everything was backwards. I wanted to go home with Dad and get to be a teenager for a while longer, not stay here and be forced to take on the role as my mother’s keeper. As selfish as that was, it was true, and I felt bad for thinking it.

“She does,” I said, letting the conversation lapse into silence.

We lay there for a while, just quiet. I could feel the need for sleep creeping up on me, but I pushed it away.

Ella rolled over onto her side to face me. “What do you plan on doing about Carter?”

I shrugged.

She gave me a puppy dog face, saying, “Tell me something, please. Take my mind off the real problems for a bit, and just let me be a girl who’s butting into her older sister’s personal life. Okay?”

I sighed and rolled over to face her, feeling a shock of pain in my neck as I shifted positions.
Damn kink.
“I really don’t know what I’m going to do about him. I do still like him, but I have more important stuff to focus on right now.”

“Like helping Mom, and finding the twins.”

“Exactly,” I said with exasperation clear in my voice. “I don’t want to get back into a relationship when I’m going through family troubles. Besides, I don’t even know if I’ll be here after summer ends.”

Ella rolled her eyes at my last statement. “I think you should make both him and yourself happy and give the guy a chance.”

I bit my lip, torn on what to do. I knew that I was happy with Carter, and that neither of us had really dated since each other, but that still didn’t make me decide. It was flattering how he had waited for me even though I had asked him not to, but it’s hard to focus on a relationship when I’m so worried about my family. “It’s a lot to juggle,” I finally responded.

Ella raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t get any easier; you just decide what makes you happiest and do it. It’s your life. For the most part, you control what happens.”

Chapter 19

I sat in the chair next to my mom’s bed as the nurse finished wrapping her head up.

“The stitches are healing really well,” the nurse said, smiling at my mom, then at me. I forced a smile back, knotting my hands together in my lap.

“Thanks for your help, Noreen,” Mom said, sitting up slowly in her bed. She leaned forward, trying to fluff and position the pillows behind her.

Noreen rushed forward, fluffing and lifting the pillows into position for her, like she was so injured that she couldn’t do it herself. “You’re welcome, Christine. You’re healing well, but you should still take it easy for a while. You had a pretty bad fall.”

“Can do,” Mom responded, clasping her hands together on her lap and offering a sheepish grin. “Would you mind bringing me another strawberry Jell-O?”

Noreen rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and smiled. “If you eat any more of that stuff, your blood will turn into strawberry Jell-O! That would make my job, and your healing process, a lot more complicated.”

Mom laughed as Noreen grabbed her clipboard from the wall and exited the room. Once she was gone, my mom looked over at me. Her smile quickly left her face and was replaced by an apologetic look. “Lena,” she began.

I raised a hand up to stop her. I knew she was going to try and apologize for what had happened. “There’s no need to apologize, Mom. I get it.” I didn’t really, but I also didn’t want her to feel bad. I just wanted her to heal and get out of the hospital so she could get better physically, emotionally, and mentally.

She lowered her eyes to the floor and bit her lip. She looked so helpless that I felt the urge to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be all right, but I didn’t know if that was true or not. Instead I just stayed put.

Mom sighed and looked up at me. She forced a smile. “So, where’s your sister?” she asked, changing the subject like I hoped she would.

“She went to meet up with some friends. She wanted to come and visit you, but Grandma said she needed to get out of the house and have some fun with her friends to take her mind off of everything.” Mom glanced down after I said the last part. I realized she was the reason Ella needed to be distracted by her friends, and so had she. “She’s going to stop by tonight though,” I offered, hoping that would make up for my last statement. I sat up straighter in my chair as she looked up and smiled softly.

“That’s good. Really good. I’m glad she’s reconnecting with her old friends.”

I nodded in agreement. “I am too. I didn’t even know she had kept in touch with anyone.”

“Me either.” Mom’s smile grew slowly from a close-lipped grin to showing her top row of teeth. “That girl is a social butterfly. You both are. You get that from your father.”

My heart warmed at the mention of Dad. I missed him so much. “That reminds me, Dad said that he’s happy you’re okay and that he hopes you get well soon.”

Mom’s eyes widened drastically. “You told him?”

I nodded in response, not seeing the problem.

She raised a hand and rubbed her temple. “Oh gosh. There’s no way he’s going to let you girls stay with me for the year if he thinks I’m unstable.”

I bit my lip, not wanting to tell her that I wasn’t sure about whether I was going to stay or not. So I just sat silently while she rubbed her head, hoping she would say something else so we could avoid this topic. I didn’t want to make her sad again and have a repeat of what had happened.

Mom let out a sigh. “That was sweet of him though.”

“Yeah,” I replied.

She straightened her sheet a little and tried to sit up straighter. Then she looked at me and asked, “Have you reconnected with any of your old friends?”

My mind flashed to Carter. “Sort of,” I answered, knotting my hands together on my lap.

“Who?” She looked at me with an expression of genuine curiosity, waiting for my answer. She probably assumed it was either Sara or Maryam.

I surprised her. “Carter.”

Mom’s mouth dropped open a little before her face lit up. “Seriously?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the ‘p.’

She looked giddy, like a schoolgirl with a crush on her hot English teacher. “Carter was always such a sweet boy. You know, I always really liked him for you.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me all the time.”

She shrugged. “I thought you two would end up getting married eventually. You two were attached at the hip. I loved how you were best friends more than anything else. He respected you. Even your father liked him despite what he may say.”

I laughed. My dad had always liked Carter when we were friends, but when we started dating he had to switch into protective-father mode. He didn’t play the part very well considering how Carter already knew that he was a big softy.

“So,” she began, dropping her voice to a near whisper. “Are you two dating again?”

I sighed, having known this question was coming. “As of now? No.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged, glancing around the room. I didn’t want to say that she was one of the reasons why. I also didn’t want to say long distance and once again bring up the imminent discussion on where I would be living for the school year. Instead I said, “It’s complicated.”

Just then, Noreen returned to the room with a light knock on the open door as she entered with a plastic spoon and a small, pre-packaged container of red Jell-O. When she walked in I excused myself for a moment and exited the room. My mom’s words about Carter hit me, and before I knew it I had my phone in my hand and I was dialing his cell phone number from memory.

The phone rang once before it connected, and Carter answered in a surprised tone. “Lena?”

I took a deep breath and responded with, “We have to talk.”

He paused. “Is it bad? That’s the phrase people use when they have life shattering news.”

I couldn’t stop the smile. “I guess you’ll just have to meet me somewhere to find out.”

He sighed dramatically into the phone before asking, “Meet me at Neece’s at seven?”

“Sure,” I replied before disconnecting the call.

My heart raced as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Ella’s advice from last night came to me.

“It doesn’t get any easier; you just decide what makes you happiest and do it. It’s your life. For the most part, you control what happens.”

I smiled hard, realizing what I had to do.