Scars (Marked #2.5) (6 page)

This last episode had been the worst I’d ever faced, but I was determined to make it my last. Once I had her out of the picture, all would be right in my world. She was the poison running through my veins causing me this pain.

Maya was responsible, but after I disposed of her, Talan would make it better. He had to.

9

The light of a new day brought on a series of complications I was all too familiar with— exhaustion, heaviness in my limbs, and shortness of breath. Everything felt more pronounced, especially the trembling in my legs.

Mentally, the effects of this breakdown were too much to deal with at the moment. They caused me to question all the choices I’d made as of late.

Luckily enough, I was stubborn enough to push forward and not let this simple blip in the plan deter me. It wouldn’t allow me to quit. Didn’t let me walk away from the man I loved with every fiber of my being.

That thought was what set the rest of my day in motion, pushed me to drag my tired butt out of bed and toward Talan’s shop. Leaving Jaime behind was tough. He was snuggled up behind me, arm around my waist as he slept with a small smile on his face. The bed was warm and he was almost too enticing to leave, but Talan was worth it.

“Love you,” I whispered into his ear before giving him a chaste kiss. This man deserved more than the disaster I was, deserved a woman who’d give back as much as he gave.

Problem was that I was too selfish to let him go.

At least not yet. First I needed Talan to make me whole, and then I would help him. Set him free.

I could barely keep myself up as I made my way to the bathroom. Too many thoughts plagued my mind, and I couldn’t continue to rest knowing our relationship was up in the air. Talan had to atone for his sins—his mistreatment of me ever since that cunt walked into our lives.

Abandoned. Lost. Alone.

Those were the dominant feelings that consumed me. Something that since the day we met, I’d been able to skirt around. They loomed around the edges of my consciousness, but up until recently, my relationship with him had always pushed them away.

His attentive nature and beautiful smiles were the best medicine for my chaotic mind. Quieted the voices at the back of my mind that told me I wasn’t meant to be happy. It helped me cope with those monsters that lurked—loomed, over me and tried to dissect my fragile mind.

Pulling up outside his shop, I put the car in park and got out. Looking up at the sign on the door that claimed the parlor was closed, I was caught off guard. How the fuck did I get here? Was I so consumed by my thoughts that I drove here on pure instinct?

The last hour had been a blur to me. All I knew was that I needed to get here, and the rest was unimportant.

I was on autopilot. Felt off.

It was early morning, and the sun had just begun to rise over the Miami skyline. Very few people were out of bed in this part of town. Just him and I. Perfect.

“I’ve missed you, baby.” I sighed while making my way around back. The closer to his door I got, the easier I breathed. My body dragged on slowly, yet my steps were determined. Talan was close, I could feel it. “Never again will we be apart.”

Muscles protesting, I raised my hand and knocked. That simple action hurt. Physically, the exertion I’d gone through the day before had returned, manifesting itself within my bones.

The feeling could only be compared to the day after an extreme workout. Extreme soreness accompanied by pain throughout. Talan was worth every second of discomfort, though. I’d relive yesterday a thousand times if at the end I got him. 

A few minutes had passed since I knocked, and nothing. No noise alerting me to his presence. Maybe he was inside the storage room ordering supplies.

Turning the knob, I found it unlocked. Talan never left his shop unattended; he was either getting coffee down the street, or one of the boys had fucked up. If they did, there would be hell to pay.

The man was glorious when angered.

Instead of waiting around for him, I walked inside and straight toward the supply room.

“What the fuck…” Organized was how I found it. This wasn’t how I left it; my chaotic mess made sense—this didn’t. Not a single box out of place, all facing forward, and color coded. A handheld contraption was placed on a shelf with a clipboard hung off to the side. “Fucking bitch.”

This was my domain. I’d put this entire store in the specific order that made the most sense to me. The boys—Talan included—never cared for the state in which this room was kept.

My eyes twitched while I surveyed the room. They’d erased me from the shop.

I stomped out of the supply room and toward the reception area. Coming into what used to be my space, a painful wail escaped me. This area was worse than the last. Hurt more.

My pictures were gone.

Cup full of pens was missing.

The beanie babies I’d collected since I started vanished. I’d been eradicated from the one place I called home.

Rage clouded my mind as I took it all in. My hands shook with the need to destroy this fucking place and show him what my wrath was capable of making me do. How easily I could come in and take without any repercussions.

He loved her, and as God is my witness, he would pay for my rejection. They all would, and my revenge would begin with her.

Instead of showing my hand just yet, I turned around and left. I was almost to the door when the idea to steal his portfolio came to mind. I’d let him know it was me, taunt him with the destruction of his life’s work, and force him to seek me out.

Wanted his cock in exchange for his precious book, one night to change his mind and prove to him that I was what he needed.

“Even if I have to force you, Talan, you will be mine. I have no shame when it comes to securing the peace you provide me with.” Once inside his office, I marched over to his desk and took a seat. Inhaling deep, I pulled his unique scent in and sighed.  “Could never stay mad at you.”

He was all around me, his masculine aroma surrounding and lulling me into a more relaxed state. At once, I felt better than when I’d walked in. The emptiness atop his desk called my attention though, once I regulated my breathing and my hands had stopped shaking. This was new. Talan had a habit of being a tad bit messy when it came to his office.

Instead of the usual clutter in the corner in the form of old mail and magazines, what met my eyes was a clean space. Blank. Not a speck of dust. Note even the normal empty coffee cup or Red Bull can. This had that bitch’s name written all over it. Maya was changing him, and he was just letting her. Letting her younger pussy lead him around by a leash—how could he not see that?

How could he agree to this?

Running a single finger in a circle-like pattern at the center of his desk made me think. Would he ever be over her?  Were her voodoo-like claws dug in too deep?

“I’ll make this better,” I vowed while sitting back and reaching the drawer nearest to me on the right. “Pens, pencils, rubber bands…thumbtack?” Why in the blue fuck would he need those?

My head began to pound. Nothing I’d seen today had made any sense.

The drawer below held nothing inside but copy paper. Three packs of it, to be exact, and nothing else. Then, to my utter annoyance, the last drawer was locked. Fuck.

Both the filing and wall-mounted cabinets on the left side of his office were also locked. All inaccessible. My anger spiked again, and this time I staggered as a wave of vertigo hit. This was yet another part in her plan to make me disappear from his life. Closed me out and pretended I never existed.

“Fucking bitch,” I yelled out while holding onto his desk for support. My grip was tight as my body trembled with the pure, red-hot ire that coursed through my veins. The sudden urge to break something was overwhelming, so much so that as I slammed a hand atop his desk, my body sagged. I had nothing to give.

Taking in a deep breath, I cracked my neck and looked across the room and toward the newest addition to his immaculate office. There, across my line of sight was a small brown leather couch with an all-black T-shirt strewn across the arm.

This was new.
I mused.
And useful.

The when or the purpose of said couch was irrelevant to me. In that moment, all that I could think about was the bigger picture at hand. Our future together was more important than what he’d done with her. Shit, I’m the last person to be called a saint.

I dressed like a whore.

Acted like a bitch.

Innocent could never be used to describe me.

Instead of blowing up as I stared at the couch, I saw past the now and focused on what it could do for us. Purpose it would serve after a long and tiring day at work, enjoying the quiet while we had a few beers. We would reconnect and enjoy the peace and quiet the other provided.

I’d give as much as he gave. Hoped to be the calm to any raging storm he faced in the future. Be his home.

As if on autopilot, my tired and weary body dragged itself to the couch. Once in front of the shirt, I pulled the soft cotton up to my nose and inhaled.

“Fuck.” The whimper slipped out as his essence infiltrated my every pore. Wanted to bathe in his unique musk, drown in everything that made him a man. “No one, but you.” Inside the empty room, my moan of pleasure was loud and uninhibited, a guttural cry filled by a desperate need that weakened my knees and had me grasping onto the arm of the couch for support.

Fucking natural scent of a man that ignited my hunger and demand of vengeance.

“Mine.” And he was. There was no doubt in my chaotic mind, not a single iota of misconception to the lengths of which I’d go to obtain him. To keep Talan by my side and bask in the peace he provided.

Taking the shirt, I walked out and back toward the way I entered. That little visit had set in motion my plan. There was no stopping me now.

Once inside my car, I brought the shirt back up to my face and rubbed the fabric against my cheek—breathed him in one final time before tossing the soft cotton garment toward the passenger seat.

“You’ll thank me for this one day.”

10

“Where are you?” The voice on the other side of the line asked. His voice was angry, accusatory, and worst of all…worried. I’d just passed the halfway point between my home and Talan’s shop when the phone rang. “You shouldn’t be out alone after everything that happened last night. What if…”

“I’m okay, Jaime.” His huff told me he didn’t believe me. I was aware of the fact that half of the things I’d done as of late made no sense, was paying the price for it as we spoke, but this had been necessary. Last night a part of me had died, become fragile.

Today, that had changed. Being inside those four walls had reawakened my codependency to what that shop represented.

No more pain.

No more loneliness.

No more being medicated in order to function like a normal member of society.

My independence hovered within my reach, and it was about time that I took the reins, claimed my life back. The life stolen from me by Sarah’s death and my parents’ abandonment—the same parents that, after finding religion, have become my judges and executioners. They now knew better.

They’d love to have me committed in the name of looking like the caring parents they haven’t been since my youth. Bet it would look very good in front of their church to
“save”
me, but I’d be fucked if I ever gave them that pleasure.

“Had something important to take care of.” There, that should placate him. I’d never been in the habit of informing him of my comings and goings. It also wasn’t a lie. Having so much up and in the air when it came to me and Talan was driving me up a wall. Threw me off balance and wouldn’t let me rest. “I’m on my way back now.”

“Good.”  Jaime’s voice had now lost all its hostility, yet I could feel his worry as it seeped through the line and strangled me. It felt good, and I smiled.

A sudden honk behind me snapped me out of the momentary indulgence, and I noticed that the light I’d been sitting at had turned green. Asshole behind me honked again, and I very slowly pushed the gas.

Another annoyed honk sounded, and this time I lowered the window down and flicked him off. This was Miami, and honking was for pussies. We drove aggressively; you had a problem…drive around me.

“…didn’t like waking up alone. Bed was cold.” Huh? I’d been so lost in glaring down the idiot behind me in the tiny red Miata that I missed what Jaime was saying.

“I’m sorry, Jaime, can you—”

“I know.” He knew what? This was not the time to confuse me or play games. “You love him.” And the hurt in his voice broke me. A part of me felt horrid for hurting him over and over again. It’d never been my intention to—to let things go so far, but I was a selfish bitch. At a time when I needed help and guidance, he’d always been there.

On my side without ever asking for anything in return.

“Are you hungry?” I asked, trying to change the heavy subject. “I’m close to the diner five minutes from the house; want me to pick something up?”

“I could eat.”  Fuck, I knew that tone. If there was one thing we were, it wa
s
compatible in bed, and he was relentless at points. What he couldn’t get from me emotionally, he took from my always-willing body. My body knew his and enjoyed what he could do, but today wasn’t the day for that, and the twinge in my thighs as I wiggled in my seat confirmed it.

While the thought of his hips pounding into me sounded like heaven, I was still in pain. Not even the sudden dampness in my panties could change my mind. Sad.

“Jaime, babe…I can’t.”

“You’re in pain?” Gone was the huskiness of his timber.

“Everything hurts,” I admitted while pulling into the diner’s nearly empty parking lot. This time, though, as I exited the car, my legs trembled and I cried out in discomfort.

“Where are you?” His demand was sweet, but the jingle of his keys in the background sounded like I’d just won the lotto. When I got back home, I was spending the rest of the day in my tub…fuck the world. “Dammit, Janice. You shouldn’t have left!”

“Please don’t be angry with me, not today of all days.” Slowly, I walked into the diner and took a seat in the booth near the back. The few customers inside turned to look my way as I passed them by. The males’ eyes lingered, perused my body in the short sundress I’d worn for Talan.

“Where are you, Janice?” Jaime asked again, pulling my attention from the lustful eyes of those around me.

“I’m at the diner, in our usual spot near the back. I’ll order…just hurry up and get here.”

Through the phone, I heard him let out a deep sigh. “On my way.” Then, the line went dead.

“This has to be worth it.” It was my turn to let out a sigh of my own as I rested my head back against the padded booth. This place had been a South Florida staple since the 1950s and hadn’t changed much. With its vintage décor and old school charm, it stood out against the cute and trendy this city was full of.

Two cups of coffee and twenty minutes later, Jaime strolled in to the now-packed restaurant. His swagger and smile turned every female’s head within the vicinity, and I smiled. He’d always been very in-tune with his sexual appeal and enjoyed the attention.

Once in front of me, he bent at the waist and pecked my lips.

I raised a brow at the public display of affection. “Took you long enough.”

“Had an unexpected, but much appreciated phone call from an old friend.” Immediately my lips thinned as the smile dropped from my face. Who the fuck was this so-called friend?

“Oh yeah, who?” My attempt at complete nonchalance was a bust; he raised a brow of his own—challenged me to continue with the sour look.

“Stop it, Janice,” he admonished while taking a seat across from me. “Just an old buddy from college.”

And just like that I relaxed. The last thing I needed at that moment was for him to abandon me. To find someone to replace me the way Talan had.

“So…” I waved him on.

“To finalize our dinner plans for Valentine’s Day.” What the ever-loving fuck? Was he switching on me? This I wouldn’t mind—it would be fucking hot.

“Umm, what?”

“Not like that, you pervert. I like pussy—licking, smacking it…fucking it.” At his indignant tone, I laughed. Jaime with another man would be a beautiful thing to watch. The thought alone was making me wet again, and I squirmed in my seat. “I swear I will fuck you right here for everyone to see. You know I’m an exhibitionist and get off on that shit.”

“Fine, you big baby. What about Valentine’s?”

“A few friends of mine are getting together with us for dinner, and I thought it would be fun to invite him. He’s new in town and doesn’t really know anyone. You’ll love him. Luke’s a great guy.”

“Are you selling him to me?”

“Shut it.”

“By the way, when did I agree to spend Valentine’s with you?”

“It was never up for discussion. You just are.”

Okay, then.

Little red dress? Check.

Pouty and shiny lips? Check.

Waxed pussy ready for some action? Fucking check.

It was a little after six, and I was meeting Jaime and his friends over at a small bistro by the beach at seven. I’d never been to this place in particular and was excited to go. Sure, this was a holiday for those in love—for couples to pamper their better halves before fucking each other into submission, but just because Talan and I were apart didn’t mean I couldn’t have some fun.

And there was also the fact that I felt good today. There was something—a good vibe that surrounded me ever since Jaime clued me into his plans.

Butterflies had taken up residence inside my stomach, and I was giddy. Happy. Like something big was about to happen. This feeling was similar to the one I’d felt the day I met Talan all those years ago.

The phone pinged on my nightstand, alerting me to an incoming text.

For a second, I thought it was Talan. A giggle escaped me at the possibility of what this could mean. Maybe he’d changed his mind and wanted to spend the holiday with me.

Another ping.

This time, I grabbed my phone and swiped my finger across the screen. I had two text messages, and neither were from my love. 

You on your way? ~ Jaime.

No panties. ~ Jaime.

Conflicting emotions hit me then. A small part of me was saddened by seeing my close friend’s name flash across the screen. For a second, the darkness that plagued my neurotic mind began to fill me with hurt.

Why was I always the one to sacrifice?

This one holiday was centered on the things I coveted above all else. Love. Friendship. Acceptance. Sure, I cared for Jaime deeply, but it wasn’t the same. He was just my now. No future for us.

On my way ~ Jan.

Two seconds after I sent that response, the phone sounded again.

With a bare pussy as my present? ~ Jaime.

Fucker made me laugh with that reply. He knew just what I needed to hear, and with a final fluff to my hair, I walked out and into the warm night.

The restaurant was only a few minutes’ drive from my apartment. Within minutes, I found myself parking in the lot behind the building and walking toward the front. Valet parking was slammed from what I could see; cars filed in a single file line behind each other and curved out into the street. Everyone waiting semi-patiently to receive a ticket and enter the establishment.

I was impressed by the elegance of the building façade. Beautiful in a simple way. The outside was nothing out of this world, just the name written in cursive on an all-white entrance. Nothing like what I expected it to look like. This was more of a modern take, all clean lines, and bright white lighting.

The heads of a few valet attendants turned my way as I approached the door, but it was one in particular that ran to hold it open. He was cute, and very young. Too young.

“Thank you,” I cooed, and watched in fascination as his cheeks turned a sweet shade of pink. As I said, the kid was too cute.

There were still a few minutes before our reservation, and I decided to head in the direction of the bar. That’s where Jaime would be, of that there was no doubt. And I was right.

He was easy to spot, standing by the end of the bar furthest from me with a smile on his face. A flustered bartender fluttered her lashes and tried to reach forward and run her finger down his arm. Jealousy flared within me while she ate him up with her eyes.

Sauntering his way, I walked across the room and sidled up beside him. As if he could sense me coming, Jaime raised his arm and welcomed me into his side. I felt special in that moment, especially when he bent down and laid a tiny kiss on my head.

“Hi.” Peering up at him, I puckered my lips in invitation. Never wanting to disappoint, he kissed me, a feather light touch that made my nipples tighten.

“You look…” he trailed off while pulling away, his heated stare burning through me. “Fuck, ma—”

“Aren’t you going to introduce us,” a deep masculine voice spoke from behind me. That tone—the fucking rough timber of his voice caused a ripple of pleasure to run through me.

What. The. Fuck.

“Luke, this little beauty in my arms is Janice. A very close friend of mine.” Why did I feel dirty all of a sudden? As if I’d been caught doing the wrong thing.