Scattered Leaves (15 page)

Finally, she came to the kitchen, but she was crying, tears streaming down her face. She wiped her cheeks. I froze, waiting to hear the terrible news. Had someone come to tell her my mother had died or Grandmother Emma?
"I always cry when I see that movie," she said. "Why did he have to die? Why?"
I just stared at her. Never in my wildest imaginings could I envision Grandmother Emma crying over a movie. In fact. I never saw her cry over anything, even the terrible car accident that had crippled my father and put my mother in a coma.
"Oh," she said, flicking a tear off her face as if it had been a fly. "You're making the spaghetti?"
"Yes, but there is no meat for meatballs, and what should we use as sauce?"
"No meat? I thought there was. Maybe that was last week. I usually use tomato soup for a sauce."
"Tomato soup?"
She smiled. "Isn't that all right?"
I shrugged. Was it? I went to the pantry and found a can of tomato soup. She took it, opened it and poured
it
into a pan.
"I have grape juice. don't I?" she asked me. I checked. There was.
"Good," she said when I told her. "We'll pretend it's wine. You set the table. dear,"
I did. and I put out our salad. Before she served the spaghetti, she went to the window,
"Listen," she said, beckoning to me. I joined her at the window. "Do you hear that?" she asked. but I heard nothing. "Don't they sing beautifully? You can wave, but don't say anything. Go on, just a wave," she said. She waved, and then, even though I felt very silly. I waved, too. "Poor dears. They are so in love with us. Shall we eat our dinner?"
She complimented me on my salad. The spaghetti with the tomato soup didn't taste terrible. Afterward, she leaped up to get the ice cream. When we were finished. I cleared off the table and started to wash the dishes. I thought she would just return to the living room and her television shows, but she took out a dish towel and began to wipe and put away the plates, bowls and silverware.
"Look at what a wonderful team we are, she said. "I'm sure Emma would be proud of you."
Afterward, she surprised me by taking a carton of photo albums out of a closet and showing them to me in the living room. There were pictures of her parents, of her and Grandmother Emma when they were little girls and older, and pictures of Grandfather Blake. Some had been taken on holidays and some had been taken at the homes of other relatives I had never been told about. Great-aunt Frances explained them all, the cousins, her father and mother's brothers and sisters and even her grandparents and their brothers and sisters. We spent nearly two hours looking at it all.
Although Grandmother Emma had allowed me to see some of her photographic albums, she'd never spent time explaining everyone to me and to Ian. It was almost as if we'd been looking at illustrations in a history book. This was more interesting because it was about our family, and for the first time. really. I felt I had an extended family, a history that was mine and not just Grandmother Emma's.
Afterward.
I
put away the carton. and Greataunt Frances began to watch something on television. As before. she grew groggy, sleepy and eventually closed her eyes. I looked at the clock and saw it was nearly eight. Alanis would be going into the basement with her girlfriends soon.
I tiptoed out and went to the basement door. Part of me felt terribly guilty about doing all this right under Great-aunt Frances's nose. It was sneaky, and if and when she did find out. I was sure she would be very disappointed in me. but I was also intrigued with what the older girls would do and say, and there was that boy they invited. Would he be there? After all. I had never gone to a party with so many older girls. For that matter. I had hardly gone to any parties after we had moved in with Grandmother Emma. It seemed harder to turn the basement doorknob, because half my hand was trying to stop me from doing so.
It opened. and I flipped on the light switch and started down. Before I even reached the bottom of the rickety stairway.
I
heard the sound of their laughter. And then I heard the music, too. I opened the second door slowly and peered in at what Alanis was now calling her private club. The girls were dancing.
"There she is!" she cried as soon as she saw me. "The guest of honor."
Nikki and Raspberry stopped dancing, then Stuart Gavin stepped out of the shadows and looked at me. He was wearing a short-sleeve blue shirt and a pair of jeans. I hadn't really looked at him in the mall, but now I saw he was taller than the girls and wideshouldered. In fact, he looked more like a man than a boy. His dark brown hair was cut short.
"Well?" Alanis asked him, tilting her hat back. "What do you think of her?"
He stepped toward me into the light. I didn't think he was ugly, but he wasn't terribly good-looking either, because he had a long, pointed nose and the corners of his mouth turned downward sharply. He had a cleft chin, and his jaw was more square than round.
"I wouldn't have been fooled," he said. "You didn't have to tell me nothing."
"I'm sorry. Jordan, but we told Stuart the truth about you," Alanis said.
"The truth?"
"How you started kindergarten late because you were sickly as a baby, and then how you were left back and then lost another year moving."
She winked at me. I looked at Nikki and Raspberry. They were both smiling.
"It's all right," Stuart said. "I was left back once."
"But..."
Alanis moved quickly to stand between me and Stuart.
"We have the rum alcopop," she told me. "The one you liked the most, remember?"
"What?"'
Nikki and Raspberry gave Stuart one and started to talk to him. Alanis moved closer.
"Keep your mouth zipped and go along with it," she told me in a raspy whisper. "Otherwise, he'll head for the hills.'
She threaded her arm through mine.
"Don't worry." she continued. "I'll be right beside you. I'm your new minder, remember, sister dear?"
"But I told you," I protested. "I don't like to lie."
"Take it easy. Not telling boys the truth isn't lying. Jordan. It's self-defense," she said and handed me the bottle of rum alcopop. "Take a sip," she said. "You're about to grow up overnight,"

I didn't mind the taste of this as much as I had the burning whiskey she had given me the night before. Stuart, showing off, drank his bottle in one long gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing like a frog. Nikki and Raspberry clapped and squealed as he reached the end and pulled the bottle out of his mouth.

"Hell, that was nothing," he said. "I can do it with a quart of beer."
"Wow," Nikki said. ''A whole quart at once."
"I could probably do more if the bottle was bigger," Stuart bragged.
I saw the girls stifle giggles behind his back when he turned to me.
"You're going to live here now?" he asked. I nodded.
"I deliver gas to your... what is she, your aunt?"
"Great-aunt."
"What's a great-aunt?"
"She's my grandmother's sister, so she's called a great-aunt." I explained, speaking as carefully as Ian would. "If she were my mother's sister, then she would be just an aunt."
"Oh, yeah? I don't know if I have any greataunts."
"Are any of your grandparents alive?" Alanis asked him, still stifling a laugh to keep it from bursting out of her lips.
"Yeah, my dad's father."
"Well, does he have any brothers or sisters alive?" Nikki asked him.
He stared, and then he shrugged. "I don't know."
"So ask him and let us know," Raspberry said. "We'll hold our breath until you tell us."
"You do that and you'll suffocate." he replied. That did it. They all let loose with laughter.
"What's so funny?" Stuart asked and looked to me. since I wasn't laughing.
"Everything makes them laugh," I said and thought if Ian had been here, he would have tagged them with one of his fancy synonyms for "stupid."
Stuart nodded and sipped on another alcopop.
"Your great-aunt is nice," he said. "She always gives me something when I deliver a tank."
"Money?" Alanis asked, breaking her laugh quickly and throwing a glance my way.
"Naw. Just stuff. Once she gave me a leather wallet. Here." he said, reaching into his back pocket. "This is it." He offered it to me to examine.
It had tiny letters in gold on the outside: BM. "There are letters." I said.
"Let me see," Nikki demanded and pulled it out of my hands. "BM. What's that, bowel movement?"
They were hysterical again.
I
took the wallet back quickly.
"No. It probably belonged to my grandfather. His name was Blake March." I said.
Stuart smiled and sipped his drink.
Why had my great-aunt given him this wallet? I wondered. How come she had it?
"What else has she given you?" I asked him, handing the wallet back.
He looked at the girls. and then, after a moment, he extended his left arm and I looked at his watch.
"She gave you that?" Raspberry said, moving quickly to look at it. "That's a good watch, ain't it. Alanis?"
Alanis seized Stuart's arm and studied the watch,
"Maybe. Looks like it might be. Who knows what else is in this house?" she muttered at me. "It's crazy giving away stuff like that just for delivery of a gas tank."
"Maybe you should start working for my father." Stuart countered so quickly that it took all three of them and me by surprise. For a moment no one spoke. The girls held their half smiles ,
"Oh, that's funny, Stuart," Alanis finally said. Her face turned mean and ugly. "You must have done something extra for her to get those things, and anyway you shouldn't take things from her. She's not all there. She's bonkers. You should give it all back. Give it all to Jordan," she insisted.
He turned to me.
"If my great-aunt gave it to him, she wanted to give it to him," I said. "She'd be upset if I took it back."
Stuart smiled, and, surprisingly, so did Alanis.
"Well, you can see Jordan clearly likes vou. Stuart," she told him. "A girl like this needs someone big and strong like you to look after her, especially when she just starts in a new school. Ain't I right, girls?"
"Oh, yeah," Nikki said. "The creeps will be bothering her right off."
"She hasn't got anyone to protect her from the riffraff." Raspberry told him. "A girl looking that good is going to be annoyed all the time."
He looked at me and shrugged. "Sure, I'll be glad to help," he said.
"See?" Alanis said. "I told you Stuart was a nice boy. C'mon. You two sit here," she directed, taking me by the arm and moving me to the sofa. "Stuart, sit next to her." She sat him beside me. "You two get to know each other."
The three of them looked at us, all with silly smirks on their
faces. then Alanis started to dance again and the other two joined her.
"I hear your teacher's Mrs. Morgan," Stuart said. "She can be damn mean sometimes, especially if she catches you doing something while she's talking. And if you scratch your head too much, she'll send you to the nurse right away to have her check for lice. She says it so loud that everyone thinks you have lice even if the nurse says you don't. I don't," he emphasized.
"There was a girl in my class last year who had ringworm on her head and had to have her hair shaved," I told him.
"Ugh," he said and drank some more. "Don't you like yours?" he asked, nodding at the bottle in my hands.
I
looked at it and then took a sip. "Hey, sometimes, if I have my truck at school. I could maybe take you home and you won't have to ride the bus. You'll get home faster," he added when I didn't respond.
"I'll have to tell my great-aunt," I said.
"How long you been here already?"
"Just a few days."
"You like it?"
I shrugged. "It's all right," I said. "I have to get used to it."
"You got a nice little lake in the back.
I
once went fishing in it, but from the other side so no one knew. Didn't catch anything anyway," he added and sipped his drink.
"Stuart," Alanis said. "She looks cold. Why don't you at least put your arm around her?"
He stared at Alanis for a moment and then he looked at me. I started to say I wasn't cold, but he put his arm around my shoulders.
"Now that's nice," Nikki said. "See, you're protecting her already."
They didn't laugh, but I saw they were smiling and stuffing their giggles in their bloated cheeks.
"Take another sip of your alcopop,"' Alanis advised me and winked. "She's been to plenty parties. Stuart," she added. His eyes widened.
"I don't go to many parties," he told me. "I work a lot. I'm saving my money to get my own car. I could buy a used one right now, but I'm better off waiting until
I
can get a better one. The truck's okay for now."
I was afraid to turn and look at him. but I didn't know what to do because we were sitting so close that our legs were touching and his arm was so big and firm that I couldn't budge.
"If you want. I'll come get you tomorrow and take you to school. My dad's letting me have the truck tomorrow," he continued. "He wants me to start deliveries as soon as school ends. Want me to come get you?"
I shook my head.
"I can. It's not a big deal. I pass this place on the way." I didn't respond. I didn't even shake my head.
"What are you whispering about?" Alanis asked and stopped dancing.
"I just told her I could come by in the morning and take her to school," Stuart replied and finished what remained in his bottle of alcopop.
"Well, that's nice, isn't it. Jordan? Tell you what," she said. "I'll go along, unless you don't want me." She turned to Nikki and Raspberry. "Unless you want to be alone,"
"I don't care. You can come," Stuart said quickly.
"Good. We'll be out front by the gate. Be sure you get here ahead of the bus or we'll hafts get on the bus."
"I'll be here."
"C'mon, you two," Nikki said, reaching for my hand. "Start dancing."
Raspberry pulled on Stuart.
"Hey," he complained but looked at me and then got up.
"I'll show you some new steps," Alanis told me. She made me stand across from Stuart. He was trying to let the right rhythm, but he looked awkward.
I
followed Alanis's lead and she nodded. "You got it, girl. Go!" she said, pushing me closer to Stuart. He tried to imitate my dancing, but I didn't think he looked good. The three of them danced around us. Nikki turned up the music. They all drank their alcopops as they danced. Every once in a while, either Nikki or Raspberry pulled on Stuart and made him dance with her.
Nikki gave him another alcopop. Everyone was so loud now that I was sure we'd wake Great-aunt Frances. I guess I looked worried. Alanis paused, put her hands on her hips and turned to me.
"Stop worrying," she told me. 'Just have a good time. girl. Ian ain't here," she added and laughed.
We danced and danced, Finally. Nikki and Raspberry were tired enough to stop. Alanis danced some mare. but I sat and Stuart sat beside me. He finished his bottle with two large gulps. A wide smile settled on his face.
"You get cuter and cuter as the party goes on," Nikki told him and nudged him.
"Leave him be," Raspberry said. "He's spoken for. girl."
They laughed. Nikki leaned into him and I heard her say, "You should give her a kiss at least."
His eyes widened. He glanced at me.
"She thinks you don't like her enough," Nikki added.
"I like her."
He turned and put his right hand behind my head, pulling my face toward his to spread his lips over mine. I didn't think it was a kiss. I didn't hear the sound of a kiss. It was more like someone wiping his mouth over someone else's. The only kisses I had ever had were kisses on the cheeks. I'd seen kissing in movies and on television, but I had no idea what to expect. I just knew what he had done wasn't anything like it was supposed to be. Stuart pulled back quickly. The girls cheered and he smiled.
"What do you think. Jordan?" Raspberry asked. "Was that a good kiss?"
I shrugged. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
"You put your tongue in her mouth?" Nikki asked him.
Tongue in my mouth? My jaw fell, pulling my lips apart.
I looked at Alanis, who was drinking another alcopop and moving to the music as if she'd been dancing with someone. She looked like she was in another world.
"You don't do that on your first kiss," Stuart told her.
"So do it on a second." Raspberry told him.
"She thinks you don't like her," Nikki said.
"I like her. I said she's cute."
"Prove it." Raspberry told him.
He turned back to me. I started to lean away, but he moved quickly, holding my head even firmer, and kissed me again, this time jetting his tongue into my mouth so hard that I nearly gagged.
I
started to push him away. He held on to me and then let me go. and Nikki and Raspberry cheered.
"Very good. Stuart," Nikki told him and pulled him up to his feet. She started dancing with him again. I gasped for breath.
"Hey," Raspberry told me as I wiped my mouth with the back of my right hand. "Don't look so worried. You're one of the girls now. We look out for each other. He gets too nasty with
you, we'll smash in his face."
She got up and danced with Stuart, too. Alanis paused, looked at me, saw the terrified expression on my face, then turned off the music. They all groaned. Stuart, his eyes closed, kept moving anyway.
"It's getting late." Alanis said. "We'd better end before my Granddad comes looking around:" Stuart continued to dance, as though he was in his own world, "Stuart!" she screamed, and he stopped and opened his eyes. "Party's over. Tomorrow's school. remember?"
"Yeah.' he said. "It was a great party."
"If you behave yourself, you can come to the next one."
"Good. When is it?"
"We'll tell you. Stand by," she said. and Nikki laughed.
"Stuart, can you drop Nikki and me at the gas station?'" Raspberry asked him.
"Sure," he said. Then he batted his eyelashes and asked. "What gas station?'
"The one on the corner of Main and Lake," Nikki said.
"That's out of my way, but okay," he said.
"C'mon.
""
Alanis urged them, and they started toward the door.
I
rose and followed, feeling dazed and confused. The music seemed to still be echoing in my head.
We stepped outside. and Nikki and Raspberry turned to say good night to me.
"Welcome. We're going to have some great times together," Nikki told me and hugged me,
"Yeah," Raspberry said. 'Glad you're here. girl. Boy," she told Stuart, who seemed to wobble. "say good night properly to your date. boy."
He turned back to me, smiled, then stepped over to kiss me again. I recoiled when his lips touched mine.
"Whew," Nikki cried. "you're too much for her too soon." They laughed. Stuart smiled and blew out his chest.
"I'll see you in the morning." he told me.
"We'll be waiting." Alanis told him.
"Remember, come before the bus. hear?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said, saluting her.
"Go on home, you idiot." she said and pushed him toward the truck.
Nikki and Raspberry got in, and he climbed in behind the steering wheel.
"Thanks." he called back to us. He started the engine, and then he shut it off.
"What's wrong?" Alanis asked first.
"I forgot to take the gas tank out and hook it up."
"Well, you can't do it now, Stuart. It's too late and you'll make too much noise," she said. "Come even earlier tomorrow morning and do it. Stuart, are you listening?"
"Okay, okay," he said and restarted the engine.
"Make sure he goes straight home. girls, No hank-Wan-1; Alanis called to them.
Nikki muttered something I didn't hear. She and Raspberry laughed, then Stuart turned the truck around and went bouncing down the driveway a little too fast. We could hear Nikki and Raspberry screaming. They paused at the bottom and yarned left to disappear into the night.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Alanis asked.
I nodded. I wasn't feeling well and it really hadn't been all that much fun for me. but I could see it was important to her that
I
thought it was.
"Don't worry about Stuart. If you don't like him, we'll find someone else. You better go in and get to bed. You know what time to get up and all. right?"
"Yes."
"Don't depend on your aunt to wake you, girl. You got an alarm clock or something?"
I shook my head. I'd never thought of it. All my life my mother or Ian would wake me for anything.
"Well. I do. It's my granddad. He could wake the dead. Don't worry. I'll come around as soon as I get on my clothes and make sure you're up and ready. Remember our motto," she warned. "We die first."
She started toward her house, then turned.
"Go on inside. Jordan. and get yourself to bed." "Okay." I said and ran around to the front of the house.
The television was still on. Great-aunt Frances was asleep. I hurried up the stairs and to the bathroom to get my teeth brushed, my face washed, and then into my pajamas. When I crawled into bed and pulled the blanket toward my chin. I moaned regret. I hadn't read another of Ian's letters. and I'd so wanted to read them all already. I vowed to do it as soon as I returned from school.
My brain was in such turmoil that I didn't see how I would fall asleep. The music, the alcopops. Stuart's tongue kiss, all of it whirled around. I felt as if I'd been spinning in the bed. I finally fell asleep, but again I woke up in the middle of the night, Vaguely. I remembered the sobbing I had heard the night before, but this time I could hear Great-aunt Frances washing her face in the bathroom and humming something. I knew she had looked in on me. but I didn't think I should show her I was awake. Minutes later. I was asleep again, and this time. I didn't wake up until I felt myself being shaken.