Read School Days According to Humphrey Online
Authors: Betty G. Birney
School Days According to Humphrey (4 page)
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“Let's see. Why don't you take him, Kelsey?” she said.
Kelsey looked surprised.
I'm sure I did, too. Kelsey looked like a nice girl, but it did seem as if she could be more careful.
“Hold him in your hand, like this.” Mrs. Brisbane transferred me to Kelsey's outstretched hand. “Make him feel very safe. Cup your other hand over his head, like a little roof. I think he likes that.”
I do like that, as a matter of fact.
Kelsey was so excited to be holding me, her hand actually shook a little. I suddenly remembered about her broken arm and her broken leg and I hoped I wouldn't end up being a broken hamster.
“Don't worry, Humphrey. I'll be careful with you,” she whispered.
I relaxed and so did she. The shaking stopped.
“Can I pet him?” Simon asked.
“Gently,” Mrs. Brisbane told him.
He stroked my back with his fingers. It felt unsqueakably nice.
Then Mrs. Brisbane got busy cleaning my cage. She took everything outâeven my water bottleâand put it all in a big bucket of soapy water. Luckily, my mirror is firmly attached to my cage and it stayed (as well as my notebook hiding behind it).
Next, she took a brush and BRUSHED-BRUSHED-BRUSHED everything clean.
After that, she took all the soft, papery bedding out of my cage.
“What's that?” Holly asked, pointing to a corner.
“That's Humphrey's bathroom area,” Mrs. Brisbane replied. “Those are his droppings.”
“His poo?” Thomas's eyes opened wide with surprise.
Mrs. Brisbane nodded.
“Ewwwâpoo!” Thomas said.
Somebody giggled. Then all of the kids started chanting, “Ewww-poo! Ewww-poo!” in a very rude way.
Mrs. Brisbane shushed them. “Come on. It's perfectly natural.”
“Perfectly natural!” I repeated. “Besides, where else am I supposed to go?”
“May I hold Humphrey?” Rosie asked. “I already know how to hold a guinea pig.”
Mrs. Brisbane carefully moved me from Kelsey's palm to Rosie's. Her hand didn't shake one bit.
Next, the teacher scrubbed the bottom and sides of my cage until they were unsqueakably clean.
She let Helpful-Holly and Just-Joey put new bedding in my cage, while Phoebe filled my water bottle and Paul F. put fresh Nutri-Nibbles in my feeder. Yum.
Paul G. put my wheel back in and made sure it was spinning properly while Harry and Thomas put everything else back in place.
“It looks and smells a lot better now, Humphrey,” Mrs. Brisbane said as she gently carried me from Rosie's hand back to the cage. “Check it out.”
I hopped on that shiny clean wheel and gave it all I had.
“Look at Humphrey go!” Thomas T. True cried out. “He must be going a million miles an hour!”
“He couldn't be going a million miles an hour. He'd break the sound barrier at 768 miles, and I don't hear a sonic boom,” Small-Paul said.
I was impressed. But I have to admit, I felt as if I was going a million miles an hour.
“I guess Thomas was just exaggerating a little,” Mrs. Brisbane said.
“Thomas exaggerates a lot,” Small-Paul said.
“Now, students, no bickering,” Mrs. Brisbane told them. “Let's go back to our places.”
I hopped off my wheel and settled down in that lovely fresh bedding.
Phoebe raised her hand and Mrs. Brisbane called on her. “Did you say we all get to take Humphrey home?”
“At one time or another, yes,” was the answer. Phoebe's face lit up.
“If you don't get a turn right away, don't worry,” the teacher continued. “You'll get him eventually, as long as your parents sign a permission form. After all, families don't always have time for a hamster on the weekend.”
Phoebe's smile faded away, but I think I was the only one who noticed.
I was the one smiling when Mrs. Brisbane asked the students who'd like to take me home and every single hand went up.
Maybe these new humans weren't quite as strange as I thought.
Later, Mrs. Brisbane rearranged the seating in the classroom. First, she had everyone take their belongings to the sides of the room. Then she told each student where to sit. There were a few groans, but mostly, the kids settled down without complaint, until Mrs. Brisbane went back to teaching and made some notes on the board.
Suddenly, a hand began waving. “Teacher?”
Mrs. Brisbane looked up. “Please call me Mrs. Brisbane,” she said. “What is it, Kelsey?”
“I can't see with
him
there.” She pointed to Tall-Paul, who was seated directly in front of her.
him
there.” She pointed to Tall-Paul, who was seated directly in front of her.
I could imagine it would be hard to see with Paul G. blocking her view.
“My mistake,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “I must have gotten the Pauls mixed up. Paul Green, could you switch places with Paul Fletcher?”
“Okay.” Tall-Paul gathered his belongings and moved toward the side of the room.
Small-Paul picked up his notebook and backpack and moved toward the front of the room. He wouldn't block anyone's view.
Somewhere in the middle, they almost walked right into each other.
“Watch out!” I squeaked.
Everybody laughed, except the two Pauls. They carefully avoided walking into each other, and I noticed that they also avoided looking at each other.
“Now can you see, Kelsey?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.
“I can see fine,” Kelsey answered.
Mrs. Brisbane continued with the lesson, but I couldn't concentrate.
I was watching the two Pauls, staring down at their desks.
I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD when the school bell rang at the end of the day and only Mrs. Brisbane, Og and I were left in the room. Whew! It had been a tiring day. Like most hamsters, I sleep more during the day than at night, but with so much going on, I hadn't gotten much napping done. But there was no time to sleep now. I needed time to myself to try and figure things out.
I was deep in thought when I heard a familiar, friendly voice.
“I survived!” the voice said.
“Congratulations,” Mrs. Brisbane replied.
I scampered up to a tree branch near the top of my cage as one of my favorite humans, Ms. Mac, entered the room.
Ms. Mac was beautiful. Ms. Mac was sweet. Ms. Mac was amazing. If it hadn't been for Ms. Mac, I would probably still be living at boring old Pet-O-Rama, hoping that someone would give me a real home. Ms. Mac found me there and brought me to Room 26. Then she went to Brazil for a while, and I had to learn to live with Mrs. Brisbane. I wasn't too sure about her at first, but she turned out to be a great teacher.
Now Ms. Mac was back. But where had she been all day?
She sank into a chair next to Mrs. Brisbane's desk. “I have a lot to learn,” she said.
“You'll be fine,” Mrs. Brisbane assured her. “But first grade isn't easy.”
So
that's
where Ms. Mac was. She was teaching first grade at Longfellow School!
that's
where Ms. Mac was. She was teaching first grade at Longfellow School!
“It's exciting, but there's so much to teach them,” Ms. Mac continued. “I wish I had Humphrey and Og to help.”
She glanced over our way and waved. “Hi, guys,” she said.
“Hi, Ms. Mac! You'll be great at first gradeâmark my words!” I squeaked in encouragement while Og splashed loudly in his tank.
“How did your day go?” Ms. Mac asked Mrs. Brisbane.
“I think it will be a good year,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Want to grab a cup of coffee?”
“Would I!” Ms. Mac answered.
While Mrs. Brisbane gathered up her things, Ms. Mac came over to see Og and me. She leaned down close to my cage and I saw her big, happy smile and her sparkling eyes. She smelled of apples.
“Maybe I can borrow you once in a while,” she whispered.
“I hope so,” I whispered back. But unfortunately, I know all she heard was a very soft squeak.
Then Og and I were alone, left to think over the strange happenings of the first day of school.
“Thomas does exaggerate,” I said to my neighbor. “I think that fish story was a tall tale.”
“BOING!” he answered.
“Phoebe is very forgetful, but Holly is VERY-VERY-VERY helpful,” I added.
“BOING!” he agreed again.
“I wonder why Harry can't hurry up,” I said after a little more thinking.
“BOING-BOING!” my friend replied.
“But I don't have time to worry about these strange students,” I continued. “Because I'm busy worrying about what happened to my
real
friends from Room Twenty-sixâthe ones from last year.”
real
friends from Room Twenty-sixâthe ones from last year.”
I was silent for a few seconds, and then I squeaked what was really on my mind. “Am I ever going to see them again?”
HUMPHREY'S RULES OF SCHOOL:
Treat hamsters the way you'd like to be treated, which includes telling them where their friends have gone!
Treat hamsters the way you'd like to be treated, which includes telling them where their friends have gone!
4
Night School
W
hen the room got dark, my thoughts got darker. Not only was I curious about where my old friends had gone, but I was also unsqueakably worried about what they would do without a helpful hamster to help them with their problems. I don't mean to brag, but I had lent a helping paw to all my classmates last year, even if they didn't always know it.
hen the room got dark, my thoughts got darker. Not only was I curious about where my old friends had gone, but I was also unsqueakably worried about what they would do without a helpful hamster to help them with their problems. I don't mean to brag, but I had lent a helping paw to all my classmates last year, even if they didn't always know it.
“No use sitting around and worrying,” I suddenly squeaked out loud. “We need to do something!”
“BOING!” Og agreed.
Just then, the room was filled with bright light.
“Never fear, 'cause Aldo's here!” a friendly voice boomed out.
“Aldo!” I shouted, happy to see Aldo Amato pull his cleaning cart into the room. Aldo is the night custodian, and he's also a wonderful friend. I'd seen him at camp over the summer, but I hadn't seen him for the last few weeks.
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