Always Me
Authors: Jo-Anna Walker
Always Me
Book 2 in the Shattered series
Jo-Anna Walker
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not
participate in or encourage piracy. of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions
Always Me
copyright 2013, Jo-Anna Walker
ISBN-10: 978-1492966395
ISBN-13: 1492966398
Acknowledgments
First off, thank you to my family and friends for constantly supporting me in my journey of writing. I wouldn’t be where I am without each and every one of you.
My husband, Michael, for always being there for me and for giving me that extra push. I love you.
To my book club, you all are amazing and special to me. I’m so thankful to have gotten to know you throughout the years. Xx
Chrissy (C.A. Szarek), thank you for the fantastic blurbs and for the constant support, bestie. I love you!
My team of awesomeness:
My girls. You know who you are and your constant support is appreciated and I have no words to describe how much you mean to me.
My beta readers, Amee, Angie and Karen. I love you girls like sisters. Thank you for being honest with my work and for helping me make it better.
My CP, Susie, you freaking rock my socks. Thank YOU for telling me straight up how it is and for helping me “fix” Always Me. xx
Vickie, my very patient editor. Thank you for all that you do and for putting up with my constant emails.
Blogs:
A very special and heartfelt shout out goes to Twinsie Talk Book Reviews. I love you girls. You’re my sisters. I couldn’t do any of this without you.
Obsession is a Book and Compare our Men. book whores, I love you ladies! The support you have given me is simply wonderful. I am truly blessed.
Once Upon a Time Covers: Thank you again for the beautiful cover! You’ve done my characters justice.
To my readers! Thank you so much for your patience and for joining me on this journey. I hope you enjoy this book as much as the first, if not more. I love each and every one of you. With you, this would not be possible.
Dedication
To you. For coming back.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Two years had passed since Sebastian Chelios died. Two years since being told that Jose Alvarez was still out there. And two years since I was told I was pregnant.
Pregnant with Sebastian’s baby.
God, who knew that that would happen?
A result of my forgetting to take the pill. But it was well worth it when I looked into the eyes of my baby. Sebastian’s baby. Our child.
I tried to forget. But the calendar on the wall beckoned like a tease, and my eyes darted to the dreaded numbers. My mind went back to that horrible couple of days.
It was like a bad horror movie in my mind. Jose kidnapping me. Sebastian showing up. Us both shot. The blur of the hospital. Doctors and nurses in my face. The news of the pregnancy. Then my lover. Dead. The letter I received from Sebastian gave me hope that he was alive. He told me to wait. To be patient. But when I didn’t hear from him after several months, I knew then that I was wrong. My head whirled when I got sucked into my thoughts. Real, as if it was yesterday. Realizing I would have to raise a child on my own.
But now…every day I looked at Antonio and ached. His eyes had slipped from blue to brown, and he reminded me so much of Sebastian.
His father would never see him. Never know him.
Fresh tears filled my eyes, but I shook them off. I headed to the front door and made sure it was locked. I looked out the window and noticed a big black car a couple of houses away. Relief fluttered through me. The feds were watching. Protecting me and my son from Jose.
A scream came through the baby monitor on my counter.
I ran up the stairs in my small two-bedroom house and headed right to my baby’s room. After throwing the door open, I stood there, panting, gripping my chest as my heart raced against my rib cage.
My son lay there, looking up at me from his crib, a big smile on his beautiful chubby face.
I sucked in a breath and tried to ease the thumping in my ears. “Hi, baby. You sure like giving your mama a heart attack, don’t you?”
He giggled. Yup, definitely Sebastian’s kid.
I looked down into my baby’s big brown eyes, so full of life. I watched my son, Antonio as he drifted off to sleep. My baby was getting big, fifteen months old now. He’d always be my baby. Age wouldn’t matter. He was my angel. My everything. My heart and my soul. He was every bit Sebastian as he was me. Give or take a couple of piercings and tattoos.
My chest ached. I picked him up and curled him against me. Needed to hold him. He cooed and snuggled into the crook of my neck. I sighed at the warm body wrapped in my arms, and I walked to the rocking chair in the corner of his room. I cradled my son against my breasts and made a go for my phone, pulling it out of my pocket.
I ran a hand up and down his back and marveled at the fact that he could sleep so peacefully when the evils of the world were going on. Innocent. No cares at all. Eat, sleep, and play. I smiled, and the hurt in my heart slowly lifted.
My phone buzzed and I reached for it, swiping across the screen before placing it to my ear. “Hello?”
Static came through the line, but no one answered. My heart sped up. I checked the call display and cursed to myself. Disconnecting, I went through my contacts. With shaky hands, I placed the phone back up to my ear and waited for an answer.
“Jameson,” a deep voice answered.
“Garrith,” I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Tori? What’s wrong?” Worry coated his voice.
“The same person called again.” My stomach twisted with anxiety. Why hadn’t I checked the screen before I’d answered?
“Shit. I told you not to answer the phone if you didn’t recognize the number,” Garrith barked.
I frowned. “I know. It was a mistake.”
Garrith sighed. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, Tori.”
“Who’s on the phone, baby?” I heard a woman ask.
“Tell her it’s your lover,” I joked, ignoring the twinge of jealousy in my belly.
“It’s my lover,” he said.
“Hi, Tori!” she called out. I laughed. “Let me talk to her, please,” she said.
“We’ll talk later, Tor…” A muffled grunt came over the phone. “You’ll pay for that later, love.”
She squealed and giggled. “Hi, Tori,” she said a moment later, sounding out of breath.
An unsettled feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I wouldn’t have that happiness with Sebastian ever again. God, I missed him. I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “Hi, Keisha.”
“How are you doing?” she asked softly.
It’d been awhile since I’d seen her. I wasn’t much into visiting anymore. Even though it’d been two years, I stayed to myself. Just Antonio and me. The only other person I had seen regularly was my mother.
I sighed, rocking Antonio and I. He stirred, and I kissed his head of black hair. “I’m all right.”
“How’s my main man?” she asked. Her tone was light, as if she was trying to lift my spirits. Leave it to Keisha.
“Hey,” Garrith exclaimed in the background.
“What? Have you seen him? He’s gorgeous,” Keisha teased.
“I can’t believe that I have competition from a toddler,” Garrith mumbled.
I laughed, rubbing a hand down Antonio’s back. “He’s sleeping, but he’s good.”
She giggled. “He is handsome though.”
I smiled. Pride washed over me. “Thank you.” He was handsome. I was probably biased, but Sebastian and I did pretty good. I just wish he could see who our love created.
She sighed. Silence dominated and sadness hit me. We didn’t talk like we used to.
“I miss you,” Keisha whispered.
“I miss you too.” Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“For…for leaving.” I sniffed, wiping the tears from under my eyes. After getting told the horrible news about Sebastian, I up and left the city.
“Tori, you have nothing to be sorry for. You left a while ago. Why are you apologizing now?”
I shrugged to myself. “Feeling sentimental, I guess.”
“Well, stop. You’re gonna make me cry.”
“I just…” Antonio whimpered and squirmed against my chest. “Hold on, Keisha.” I put the phone down and held onto my son as I walked to his crib. I placed him down gently and stared at him lovingly. He had Sebastian’s long black eyelashes, black hair, and glowing Italian skin. I ran my fingers lightly down Antonio’s chubby cheek and sighed, love swelling inside of me for my baby.
Oh, Sebastian. If he could see his baby now. Our son. Antonio was growing so quickly. I was terrified I would wake up one day and he would be off to college or married. He was fifteen months, and it felt like time had flown by way too fast.
I took a deep breath and turned on the music box in the crib. I grabbed my phone and left Antonio’s room.
“Yes, she’s fine. You worry way too much, Garrith,” Keisha said, her voice muffled as if she was covering the receiver.
“Love, I worry about her. She hardly leaves her house anymore,” Garrith said in the background.
“There’s nothing I can do. I visit her when she lets me. She knows where we live.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I held the phone to my ear, and I cleared my throat.
“Oh, Tori. How much of that did you hear?”
“All of it. But it’s fine,” I said, sighing. I flipped my light on when I walked into my room.
“I’m so sorry. That was so uncool of me. We just worry about you, honey,” Keisha said.
“I…I should go.” Listening to my friends talk about me hurt. Even though the stuff they had said was true, hearing it from someone else really ate at my emotions.
“Tori, please. We only live an hour away from each other, but I feel like it’s a lifetime.”
“It’s been two years, Keisha.” I flopped down on my bed and sighed. “Today is the anniversary of…Sebastian’s…death.”
“Two years…” She gasped. “Oh my…oh, Tori.” She choked on a sob. “I didn’t even realize.”