Always Me (6 page)

“You know who I am,” he said, his hand stopping at my waist.

I frowned, lifting my head. I tried to see him, but the hood hid his features. “How the hell am I supposed to know who you are?”

He didn’t say anything, just continued to restrain me.

“I don’t…” Something caught my eye, and I looked at the hand holding my wrists.

Tattoo’s covered it. Intricate scrollwork. Letters flowing from one into the other. A tattoo that I hadn’t seen in over two years marked the tanned wrist of my intruder. My vision blurred. I struggled out of his grasp as memories of that wonderful morning after waking up from a night of passion with Sebastian flew into my head.
Amore
.

“Oh God,” I said, sobbing.

Chapter 8

“No…you… oh God…” I bucked and squirmed, but his weight kept me pinned. It couldn’t be him. It was impossible.

“Say it,” he demanded.

“No.” I shook my head, a sob escaping my lips. It wasn’t possible. Sebastian was alive? It was fucking crazy. I definitely was losing my mind.

“You know who I am. Say. It,” he snapped.

“No,” I couldn’t believe this was happening. He was supposed to be dead. I had to be dreaming still.

“Say my name, little one.”

My stomach turned when he used my nickname. A name that I hadn’t heard in so long. But I still couldn’t answer.

“Say. It.” His hot breath scorched my neck as he leaned into me.

“Sebastian,” I blurted. I scratched at the hand holding my wrist and dug my nails into his skin, trying to get him to release me.

Sebastian Chelios was back. After all of this time. My lover was alive. Why? How? I was so confused. Hurt. Angry. How could he do this to me?

“Let me go.” Sobs racked my shoulders as I continued trying to pry his hand off of my wrist.

“No,” he said firmly. His deep voice that I’d missed every night slid over my skin like silk. No, I wouldn’t give in. Kicking my legs, I wiggled, twisted, and turned, but I was no match for him. He grabbed my other wrist, held them both in one hand, pinning me to the ground.

“Please. God, why are you doing this?” I begged. The feel of his hard body on mine, restraining me, woke a passion deep within that had lain dormant. Shame tore through me that if he decided to dive into me, I wouldn’t have stopped him. He probably knew that too. Anger and fury soared through my belly that he still had that much control over me.

“I need you to listen to me, Tori.” His voice was low, filling with guilt. Good.

“No. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead. I can’t…I can’t deal with this.” My muscles strained against my bones at his rough hold, but I reveled in it. Needed it. I hadn’t felt anything like this since I was told that he had died. I realized then that for the past two years, I had walked around like a zombie, going through the motions of everyday life. The only thing that had made me feel alive was my son. Our son.

“I’m not dead, little one,” he said gruffly. Clearly.

“I don’t understand. I’m dreaming. I have to be dreaming. This can’t be real. It was just some fucked up nightmare. Please let it be a nightmare,” I pleaded. I couldn’t deal with this. Sebastian had died. Left me. Left me with a beautiful baby boy, and I would always be grateful for that, but this…I couldn’t handle this.

“You’re not dreaming, baby,” he whispered. He leaned down and kissed my neck, sending ripples of pleasure down my spine.

“No…stop. I am dreaming. You always come to me in my dreams.” Maybe I was in fact still dreaming. They seemed pretty real lately. Maybe my dreams and my reality were mixing as one, and I missed him so much that my brain had dreamt him up. I almost laughed at myself, knowing that was a bunch of bullshit.

His breath quickened, as if he enjoyed the thought that I had dreamt about him. “I’d like to make that a reality in time little one.”

My eyes widened as his voice turned deeper. My skin hummed in anticipation. Even after all this time, my body desired him.

“No,” I said and reminded myself to breathe. What kind of person would that make me if I had sex with my lover who just came back into my life after being supposedly dead? As much as I wanted to, I had so many questions that I needed answered before even considering doing that. “Why?”

He took a deep breath. “If I release you, will you promise not to run away?”

I swallowed hard and nodded. “I want to see you.”

His breath hitched but then he rose, letting go of my wrists.

I pushed myself to all fours and turned around, kneeling in front of him. He still wore the hood, and I couldn’t make out his face in the dark hallway. I stood and turned on the light, my heart echoing in my ears. The thought that he was alive after all of this time kept banging around in my head. I needed to be strong, and I needed to find out what the hell was going on.

I knelt back in front of Sebastian and took a deep breath, pushing his hood off of his head. I gasped, my vision blurring. With shaky hands, I traced the outlines of his face, still not believing that after all of this time, he was here…in front of me…in my house. His black gaze bored into me as I took him in. His mouth was set in a grim line as I trailed a thumb over the scruff on his strong jaw. His head was shaved, and the tattoos I had grown to love peeked out from the collar around his neck. His lips were full, and I ached to kiss him, but something held me back. The air about him had changed in the last two years. He was harder, rougher around the edges, but he was still gorgeous as ever, if not more.

I didn’t move. Our gazes locked, and something inside of me snapped. I slapped him. The sound of skin meeting skin bounced off the walls. My hand stung from the impact, but I couldn’t control myself. I slapped him again.

His eyes saddened but he didn’t say anything. His cheek reddened with the outline of a hand print.

Anger curled in my belly that I didn’t get a reaction from him, and I started punching him in his chest.

He didn’t budge. He just let me hit him.

Sobs racked my shoulders as I kept punching him until my knuckles throbbed and turned red. How could he do this to me? I continued hitting him until my body tired and my muscles ached.

I took deep breaths as the tears rolled down my cheeks and threw myself in his lap, wrapping my body around him. My skin hummed at the thought of touching him again.

His hands ran down my back, returning my tight embrace. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for fucking everything. For scaring you. For barging into your life again. For leaving you in the fucking first place.” His voice was thick with guilt as he squeezed me more tightly against him.

My throat burned from the lump that had taken up residence as sobs continued shaking my body.

“You were supposed to come back to me. You told me…” I hiccupped. “You said to be patient in your letter.”

Sebastian squeezed me harder but didn’t say anything.

“Sebastian, that letter…” I lifted my head and wiped my tears away angrily. “That letter was from you wasn’t it? It wasn’t Jose playing a sick joke on me?”

“It was from me. I’m so fucking sorry. God…I…” Sebastian grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me against him.

I wrapped my arms around him as we sat there in silence, holding each other. The love I had felt for the man in my arms never dwindled, and I was reminded of that as it hit me full force. My heart beat wildly against my chest and another sob escaped my lips. Tears of hurt, anguish, and happiness poured down my face as Sebastian let me cry against him.

I didn’t know what had happened in the last two years, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. If Sebastian was anything like Garrith, I probably would never find out every single detail, but he was back. In my arms. Alive.

I saw Antonio when looking at him. My son’s father. Did he know about Antonio?

“You have a son,” I blurted through my sobs.

His hard eyes glossed over, and his shoulders slumped. “I know.” His voice cracked. He held my face in both hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

“How…?” I asked, running my fingers down his cheek. A shadow of scruff covered his jawline, and I itched to kiss it. To kiss him. But I couldn’t. Hugging him was one thing, but kissing him would lead him to my bed, and it was too soon for that.

“Jose took pictures and sent them to me…teasing me, egging me on,” he bit out.

“Why would he do that?” As soon as the question left my lips, I felt dumb. Jose didn’t need a reason to do anything. He just did it.

I gripped Sebastian’s sweatshirt, worried that he would be taken from me again. That he would just up and go poof from my life when he only just got back.

“To get to me probably.” Sebastian grabbed my other hand and held it between us, rubbing his thumb over the back of it.

“Did he think you…you were…dead too?” I caressed his face, tracing every outline. God I missed him.

“At first but that didn’t last long” he kissed my thumb as it passed over his lips, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my groin.

“I’m sorry I slapped you.” I gripped his sweatshirt and looked away.

He pinched my chin, turning my head to meet his gaze. “Tori, if you’d reacted any other way, I would have been shocked.”

I smiled, but I still couldn’t believe that I was sitting in his lap. After all this time. He was back in my arms, but then anger set in. All of the questions, even from before I found out he had supposedly died, came crashing back into my skull.

“Why did you lie to me?” I demanded.

His eyes darkened, his strong jaw tensing. He didn’t want to tell me what had happened. “To protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” I asked, confused.

Sebastian took a deep breath. “From Jose.”

His answer was clipped, and knowing I wouldn’t get any more information from him, I went on.

“Everyone told me you died.” The memories of Keisha telling me that Sebastian didn’t make it came crashing into me like a freight train. Those feelings of losing him… Oh God. I couldn’t go through that again. The screams and agony that tore at my body almost shattered my soul completely.

“Everyone thought I did but…” He cleared his throat but didn’t finish his sentence.

I raised an eyebrow. Did someone else know that he had been alive all along? “But…?”

“Nothing.” He placed a hand over mine and kissed my palm.

More lies, or just not bothering to tell me things. Would those be considered lies too?

I huffed and released myself from his grip and stood when he grabbed my wrist.

I shoved out of his grasp and stormed to my room with him following me. “You…you can’t be here.”

“And why not?” he asked coming up behind me.

“Because,” I snapped, pacing back and forth across my room. “This isn’t right. I don’t know how to deal with…” I motioned between us. “…this.”

“Deal with what, Tori?” Sebastian asked, his voice going lower as he followed me.

“I don’t know how to deal with you standing here in front of me when there’s a headstone with your name on it.” Questions and memories rang through my mind. My body stirred at the thought that he was back. I was confused, and my emotions were all over the place. I wanted to dive into his arms and beg him to make love to me until we were both exhausted, but more importantly, I wanted him to hold me. Be there for me and never leave me or our son again.

“I thought you’d be happy that I’m alive.” Sebastian’s voice sounded pained, like our little reunion wasn’t going as he planned. What the hell did he expect?

I spun on him, causing him to stop midstep. “Yes, of course I’m happy that you’re alive. You lied to me. I trusted you, Sebastian. I don’t know why when I’d only known you for a couple of weeks, but I did.”

Guilt flashed over his handsome features. “I’m so fucking sorry, Tori,” he whispered.

“I thought you were dead, Sebastian. I buried you. You fucking lied to me,” I yelled, tears threatening to escape my eyes again.

“I did and I’m so fucking sorry for that, but I will not apologize for protecting you.” Fire danced in his eyes as his gaze roamed down my body. The heavy emotion of him revealing himself to me no longer played in his look as he took in my scantily clad form. The way he switched his emotions so easily made me dizzy, but on the other hand, it made me feel better too. It relaxed me some, him acting like his old self, but I still couldn’t believe he was standing in my room. After all this time, Sebastian Chelios was back.

“Stop.” I pointed at him. He knew what he was doing, and it was getting to me. Whenever he looked at me like that, I was putty in his hands, and it would be very hard for me to say no.

He smirked. “Stop what?”

I swallowed, taking a step back until I reached the wall. He hadn’t changed at all. “Stop looking at me like that. We have shit to deal with first. We need to talk about this. I can’t…I can’t do this…”

That sexy grin splayed on his lips as he stalked toward me.

My heart beat hard against my chest when he reached me.

“Sebastian, please,” I whispered.

He placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned down, taking a deep breath.

The scent of soap and man invaded my nostrils, intoxicating me to the very core. My eyes fluttered closed as his hot breath scorched my skin.

“God, I’ve fucking missed the way you smell,” Sebastian whispered.

I whimpered as he licked up the side of my neck to my ear. I clenched my hands at my sides and took deep breaths, needing to control the sudden urge I had to jump in his arms and devour him.

He ran a tongue over my ear and bit it, making liquid pool in my panties. The raw animal magnetism in him pulled at me, leaving me wanting. Needing. More.

He stared at me intently, wrapping a hand around my neck. “I am sorry. I did everything for you Tori. You might not believe that, but it’s true. I will make it so you trust me again.”

“You shouldn’t have left me,” I said quietly, ignoring the thumping of my heart.

“I know, baby, and I will do everything in my fucking power to make you see that I didn’t do it to hurt you. Not intentionally.” He turned my head, trailing hot kisses along the side of my jaw.