Scornfully Yours (Torn Series) (14 page)

     “It is human nature,” My response though lame, was the truth.

     I should know–I was in that position with Carter.

     I sat up, trying to bring back sanity from my inconsistent thoughts of Bass. I knew I loved Carter, but I somehow wanted to fucking kiss Bass. I wanted to taste and feel if those sexy lips…see if they promised ecstasy…because they certainly looked like it. His lips were enticing, making me want and think of things I shouldn’t even be considering. 

     Bass got up and pulled a shirt and a pair of boxers from a black drawer. “Here, try these on. The boxers are brand new.”

     “Thank you,” I murmured as he strode towards the bathroom and turned on the light.

     “Here you go. I will be downstairs. Call me if you need anything okay?
Anything
.” Got it, I nodded in response. My throat too constricted to utter a reply.

     His blonde hair was all over the place and by God he just looked absolutely to die for! His azure eyes spoke volumes, desire and lust etched in his dilated eyes.

     “Thank you, Bass.” I croaked a reply as I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. When he left the room, I sighed with relief.

     My phone wasn’t with me so I couldn’t make a quick call to Lindsey. I didn’t know what was going on anymore. Nothing made sense and I was at a loss for words.

     Once I was out of my dress, I put on his white shirt and silk black boxers. I then went to study my reflection. I looked flushed and totally turned on. My senses were on high alert and I felt like my body was strung out with anticipation.

Anticipating what exactly?

I have yet to find out, I thought wickedly. I shook my head as I hastily left the bathroom and sought out Bass.

     Whilst I was changing upstairs, he was busy making popcorn and getting all sorts of snacks and brought it to the theatre for us to enjoy during movie time.

     “You look good in my clothes, Emma,” he commented as his eyes studied my dainty candy pink toes all the way up to my braless state and my flushed cheeks. “I got you a comforter and a pillow. Come sit with me.” He patted the cushioned seat next to him.

     “This is quite the dessert feast—especially after the meal we had at the Lombardo’s.” I noted as my eyes roved over the food before me. There was wine, popcorn, grapes, chocolate dipped strawberries, chocolates, chips, mini brownies, and Hot Cheetos. I loved how he threw something in the mix that stood out above the rest. Last time, it was the Ruffles chips, now it was Hot Cheetos.

     “I take it that the Hot Cheetos are yours?” I smirked as I sat next to him, legs crisscrossed and cuddled with soft down-feather comforter.

     “I am more than willing to share them with you, my beautiful miss.” Bass beamed as he took out a remote and with one click the lights shut off and the large screen before us came to life.

      I took a lengthy sip of my wine when he gathered me close and I rested my head on his chest. His chest definitely was comfortable, I mused.

     When the movie rolled in, I was so engrossed by the star-crossed lovers, I felt gutted along with Tristan. What fated luck! To love someone the way he loved Isolde and to watch your beloved marry someone else. What luck indeed!

     By the time the movie ended, I was crying and out of sorts. I felt Bass tighten his hold on me as he lightly chuckled. His chest vibrating, “Oh, baby, you are the most adorable thing!”

     I just bet.

     I slightly punched him, but he kept on laughing at me. “You know, had it been another girl with me in here, they would be busy feeling me up, trying to seduce me and get me into bed.
But you
—you don’t care much about me at all. You were stuck to the movie. I don’t know if I should be happy or insulted with that. You seem to have a knack of making me feel not so special. It’s invigorating and I like you even more for that.”

     The screen was blank and it was just all white, and the only lighting we have in the room.

     I suddenly looked at Bass and wondered out loud. “Do you wonder what it would be like to kiss me? Because I am dying to know what it’s like to have your lips on mine, Bass.”

     His jovial demeanor vanished.

     Enter the ever so popular smoldering look of his. And boy is it deadly…the look alone capsized me. “I have been meaning to,
wanting
to since the night I met you. Why do you ask, Emma? Are you ready to move on? Are you ready for me?”

     What a heavy loaded question…didn’t he do anything in small measures?

     “You know I’m
not,
Bass—but what’s wrong with kissing? It’s only a kiss. I’m sure you’ve kissed hundreds of women without much thought. Why can’t you do the same with me?” I countered.

     “That’s the difference, my darling Emma. A kiss with you will never be considered ‘one of many’ and never ordinary. I can’t explain it without sounding irrational, but I  can’t shake this intensity that’s absorbing me. I’m fixated to you, but for reasons I cannot fathom or distinguish myself for that matter. It’s disconcerting and demoralizing to my psyche.”

     My sentiments exactly…

     I gathered him in my arms and hugged him because he just looked like he needed it. He was so deep in thought and so bothered as he spouted the words out.

     He really was beyond confused.

     I would be too if I was freaking Bass Cole and could have any woman he wanted. And yet, here he was, fixated on me—a woman who loved another man. Doesn’t make sense, did it?

     “This totally sucks BC,” I murmured against his chest.

     ”Totally…anyhow, feel like going for a night swim?” Bass huskily asked me with loaded innuendo.

     “I don’t have my swimsuit with me genius!”

     He gave me a devilish smile, “Who said anything about clothing?” Bass cocked his eyebrow at me, deadpanned.

     Hmmm, swimming naked in the moonlight?

Throw in Bass’s hot body for all my senses to devour?

    
Sounds
…perfect.

“Joy is looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift.”

-
Albert Einstein

     “Are you trying to get a peek at my goods, Mr. Cole?”

     He opened his mouth to respond but closed it, “you know what, that’s not a great idea after all.
You naked and wet
—will seriously kill any restraint I have.”

     “Oooh, Bass Cole, unbridled and impetuous. I am curious and rather provoked.”

     “You’re
my sweet torture
do you know that, Emma? Put your imagination to rest because I think we should try and sleep.”  He got up and made three of the seats lean backwards until it was some sort of bed.

     Wow, super neat.

     “So, we’re sleeping here, I take it? Why not in your bed, huh?”

     He jumped on our makeshift bed and gathered me in his arms. “The only time you will share my bed is if you’re willing to share what I’m after. Until then, we stay away from it.”

     Odd, but I understood.

     “Are you always like this with women, Bass?”

     “Always
like
what?”

     “This
difficult
, I mean, how do you even manage to get laid if you don’t want women in your bed?”

     “I get women in bed
quite fine
, Emma. The big difference is
my
bed. I go to hotels if I need to fuck. It’s cleaner that way, faster to get away.”

     HAH.

     “Wham-bam-thank you-ma’am? Hmmm, I knew the playboy side of you was in there somewhere. For a second, I thought you were lost.” I smirked.

     “I love women, Emma. What can I say? I love every fucking thing about a woman. That’s why I can’t figure out why I’m so fixated on you. You’re beautiful, don’t get me wrong—but there are tons of beautiful women around me and I want to fuck them when the opportunity arises—but with you, it’s not as easy. I want to fuck you, but I cannot seem to even manage to kiss you. Isn’t that the most absurd thing you’ve ever heard?”

     It’s like that…

     “That
is
kind of weird,” I mumbled, “this might sound weird, but how old are you?”

     “I am twenty-three. Why, how old are
you
, Miss Emma?” His brows wiggled in question.

     “I am a woman of twenty.”  For such a young age, he’s quite accomplished.

     I am honestly a tad jealous about that. I guess my indecisiveness about what I wanted to do about my future took a toll on my self-esteem? I hate how other people know what they wanted to do when they grew up. The only thing I knew growing up was that I didn’t want to be a doctor, period. Apart from that fact, I am so lost. To admit that fact doesn’t make me happy at all.

     Bass stroked my hair. “Hey, I didn’t know my age would make you look so sad?” he tried to joke, “What’s wrong?”

     Shrugging, I tried to sit up and sat opposite of his laid-out, relaxed position—looking like a sexy Abercrombie model. “It just dawned on me how jealous I am of you. I mean—in the sense that you seem to know what you want in life but I—on the other hand—have no fucking clue what my future holds.” Biting my bottom lip, I continued on, “do you think that’s pathetic? I’m twenty years old, aren’t I suppose to have had an epiphany by now or something?”

     “What did you love doing when you were younger? The only thing that helped you escape your reality and feel that you’d found solace and happiness in it and through it?”

     That’s quick to answer, “Reading and my drama class.”

     “So, there’s your answer. Pursue those dreams. Why wait and ponder like a lost puppy?”

     “It’s not that easy, Bass! Not everyone has freaking connections like you do!”

     He looked offended. “Hey! I know I have good connections in the industry
now
, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to work hard for it. Do you think I didn’t have to work from the ground up? I had to start somewhere and had to build up my acting credibility by taking odd jobs here and there. Like getting paid minimum wage to be an extra in an Indie movie wearing a hotdog suit for twelve hours. Or being ridiculed for being an amateur from hotshot directors and well accomplished actors.
But you know what
, Em? I took it in stride and brushed it off. As much as I hated it, I knew where it could lead me to
.
All that hard work paid off in the long run. I didn’t give up because it was what I
wanted
to do.
Passion
is the fire that drives us to do the things we do. The
reason
behind we do–the things we do. So, if your passion is reading and acting—
then there it is
. Go write or act without hesitation. Put your foot forward and give up your soul to your passion. It makes life worthwhile when you give your heart and soul to the things that are gratifying and priceless to you.”

     So much depth and profound meaning…

     “Gee, that was something. Thank you though, I might just do that. Write or act, I mean. I’ll think it over.”

     “You should because life is meaningless if you go half and half. Being whole should be your sole goal and ambition.”

     Half and half
, is that what I’m doing?
Weeding through my life…half and half? Not a moot point if you think about it,
really
.

     “So…you feel
whole
then?”

     “Career wise, yes, but personally, I am getting there. One can’t have everything in life at the same time. But I am a patient man and I will figure it out sooner or later.”

     Confident and knows what he wants…

     “For such a young man, you seem to have it figured out.”

     “I had to. My parents where almost never there for me so I had to figure shit out on my own, you know?”

     “Oh—that must have been hard having to figure out everything by yourself at such a young age.

     Bass boyishly grinned at me. “I like that.”

     Dumbfounded, I asked, “Like what?”

     “That you didn’t say ‘sorry’ about my parents being absent. Most people do when I tell them.” His hands pulled me down next to him.

     Laying down and face to face, his azure eyes sparkled. “I really like you, Emma.”

     Oh, man. He’s going in for the kill—yet again.

     “I really like you too, Bass. I really do—but I’m not ready for that.”

     His eyes searched mine, without blinking, “Because you’re in love with that man from the apartment right?”