Scratch the Surface (Wolf Within) (18 page)

I admit I hadn’t either. The laughter that poured out of my mouth was both wicked and dark, not the way I’d ever laughed before. There was a black hilarity about it that was just short of murder.

“Tell me the truth.” I demanded. “I’m the only person sitting here that, up until five minutes ago, actually believed it was only the grandmothers and grandfathers who were involved.” I laughed again. “You all knew it couldn’t be just them, am I right? I’m the idiot, the one who trusted everybody, especially the Great Pack. Fuck.”

“It did seem indicated,” Allerton said, his tone low and placating. “The logistics for one thing.”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a snort. “Grandmothers and grandfathers have no real power. Not like Alphas or former Alphas with friends in high places.” I cast a malevolent look at Murphy, who seemed to hold his breath. “Or Regional Councilors?” My gaze swept insolently over Kathy Manning who, for once, was not fucking smiling. “Or even the Great Council. A Councilor on the Great Council. What a coup that would be, wouldn’t it?”

I locked gazes with Jason Allerton and refused to look away.

Allerton said, “I think it is safe for you to trust the three of us in this room with you.”

“Ha. Forgive me, Councilor, if I prefer to make up my own mind about that.”

“Of course you should, I’m merely stating my position. You are free to accept my words or reject them. Of course, though, I can’t have an Advisor who doesn’t trust me, can I?”

“I wouldn’t think so, no,” I agreed. We stared at each other, neither one backing down.

“You can’t seriously believe I would have had anything to do with Sorcha’s death, can you, Stanzie?” Murphy sounded as if someone had stuck a knife into his guts and twisted hard. Someone like me.

“Yesterday morning I wouldn’t have,” I said, still staring at Allerton. “But then the whole fucking world turned upside down like a ship hit by a tidal wave. I’m not sure, but I think I might have drowned. Nobody’s who they say they are. That old man upstairs, for instance, says he’s my protector. But he killed the two people I loved more than anything or anybody in the whole world. And now he’s got me thinking that maybe even they weren’t who I thought they were. Maybe they had secrets they kept from me, the way you all have secrets you’ve kept from me. And you have them, Murphy, you know you do. Why shouldn’t it be that you’re a part of this whole fucking conspiracy?”

“Because I’m not!” he yelled. “Yes, I have secrets, but not that kind. Christ, Constance, no! You know me!”

“I don’t!” I shouted back, turning away from Allerton to glare at my bond mate. A part of me needed to go to him, to turn back time and start over again, but another, bigger part of me wanted to spit at him.

“I don’t know what secrets you think I’m hiding from you, but my cards have always been on the table,” said Allerton and I swung back to him.

“Except for the ones up your sleeve,” I retorted. “For instance, does the whole world know Kathy Manning’s your mistress or just Murphy?”

For once I’d taken the man completely by surprise. Whatever he’d been expecting me to say, I don’t think it was that. I also saw by the flicker of his eyelids that I was right on target. She was his mistress and he didn’t advertise it.

“No, the whole world does not know it. I would appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself as well,” he said. “It’s not a secret. It’s simply none of your business.”

I nearly choked to death on my laughter. “One of those not a secret but nobody knows anyway secrets. Yeah,” I said.

“I would appreciate it, Constance, if you’d leave the room now. I don’t wish to continue this conversation. It’s irrelevant and insulting and I won’t tolerate it.” Allerton’s voice had turned to pure steel and, despite my fury, I found myself on my feet. His power was immense and now I’d crossed him.

Poised at the edge of a very steep precipice, that was me.

Chapter 11

Twenty minutes later someone knocked on the bedroom door. I’d retreated to the room I was supposed to be sharing with Murphy because I couldn’t bear to be in the room next to Grandfather Tobias. It was bad enough he was just down the hall.

I doubted like hell Murphy would knock, and I was right. Allerton, impeccable and implacable as ever, stood outside in the hallway.

“I would like a word with you. Downstairs in the small conference room.” He turned on his heel and, confident I would follow, started for the stairs.

When we passed the front room, I glanced in out of the corner of my eye and saw Murphy sitting in the chair I’d vacated, head down, full glass of cognac cradled in his hands. Kathy Manning was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t look up although I knew damned well he was aware of us as we walked past.

Allerton shut the door behind me and gestured to the chairs surrounding the conference table.

He adjusted the lights so the room was bathed in a soft, non-threatening light and, instead of sitting himself, walked to the built in bookshelves and pretended to peruse the titles on the spines.

In my inferior seated position, I waited for him to tell me I was no longer his Advisor and he wanted nothing further to do with me. I waited for him to tell me I was a disgrace and weak and could not handle difficult things and that he was disappointed in me.

The twenty minutes I’d spent in my room alone had sobered me like a slap of cold water in the face. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was lost. On the whole, I preferred the treacherous warmth of anger to the cold, slick sweat of being lost.

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, Constance,” Allerton said, turning away from the books to gaze at me with a deceptive gentleness, “but I never for one minute intended on making you my next mistress.”

I tried to make myself even smaller in the chair. This was hell. Murphy, the bastard. He had to go and say something.

“Forgive me for this, but you’re not in my league, frankly. You have no power and no social standing compared to mine. I choose my mistresses from my equals or my near equals. Enough so that it would never be something that could be construed as coercive. I want my mistresses to want to be my mistresses, not feel as though as they have no choice or that they somehow owe me. And I would never take one of my Advisors as a mistress, no matter what her social standing or power. That’s much too incestuous and not fair, because, you see, I select my Advisors carefully. I want them to become powerful, but not through sexual services rendered. I’ve never taken a former Advisor as a mistress either and I never will. Whatever power and success they aspire to, it can never be said that it was because she slept with me. So you see, Constance, I think you have the wrong impression of things as they stand between us. I apologize if I’ve ever given you any indication I intended otherwise.”

I hadn’t thought it was possible to feel so ashamed. Or so huge when I wanted to be so small. I felt as if I took up every molecule in the room not taken up by him or the furniture. It was horrible.

“Can we agree to let this go now? We don’t need to refer to it again.”

As if I’d ever voluntarily go near the subject again. Unable to speak, I jerked my head in agreement.

“Now can you trust me enough to stay my Advisor? Can you do that?”

I nodded again although there was a part of me that wanted to run away, tail between my legs, and never, ever face this man again.

He smiled at me then and I was pretty sure I’d surprised him. I was almost positive he thought I would have taken the opportunity to run and liked me all the better for not doing it.

“Because of his lamentable experiences, Liam is going to be insecure with you as his bond mate. You’ll have to bear with him, work with him. It won’t be easy and, as much as he wants desperately to turn to you, he’ll fight you. You’ve worked enough of this out on your own and I think you’ve been doing a wonderful job with it. I’d hate to think that man upstairs could poison you so much you’d turn against someone like Liam, who needs you.”

“All he said was I shouldn’t trust people at face value the way I used to. He said I’ve put myself in danger being your Advisor, being against the conspiracy, and I should choose my protectors wisely. He said people aren’t always who they claim to be. He didn’t specifically say Murphy was corrupt or you were. Just that I didn’t know.”

“I am one of your protectors now,” Allerton said.

“I need to fend for myself.” I jutted my chin and he smiled again and this time the smile was mostly pity.

“You need allies. Don’t let that man make you believe you’re alone, because you’re not.”

I stared at him, trying to find the words to describe things but I couldn’t. Both of them were trying to twist me. Everybody tries to twist everybody else, that’s all Grandfather Tobias had said to me. I was supposed to figure out how not to be twisted, or at least how to understand
why
I was being twisted. For reasons benign or selfish, for good or bad.

Allerton wanted me on his side of things. I was in a position to help him, to root out some of the conspiracy because of my ties to it, however destructive they’d been. Grey and Elena had been killed by the conspiracy and that gave me a connection to it. I was closer to it than Allerton, and so was Murphy, and that’s one of the reasons he wanted us.

“Grandfather Tobias said he’s not alone in Riverglow. Somebody else in the pack is also involved. Maybe more than one. Maybe the whole damn pack, for all I know,” I whispered. I felt as if I were stabbing my friends in the back but I had to say it. I had to. “I can’t tell you who because he didn’t tell me and obviously I’m not the best judge of character so I couldn’t begin to even guess.”

He said nothing and something clicked into place.

“Is that why you have Colin Hunter here? Is he working for you too? Like Murphy thought last night?”

Allerton smiled at me again. “I do tend to put people into places where they might be useful.”

“But that man accused Murphy of being involved in Sorcha’s death!” I cried then realized I was defending Murphy and shut my mouth.

“And did himself no favor by doing it,” Allerton reminded me.

“Desperate to redeem himself, he’s trying to figure out if anyone in Riverglow is involved in the conspiracy.” I stared at the empty fireplace and marveled at how Allerton’s mind worked. “And why am I here? To try to confirm it and figure it out through Grandfather Tobias?”

“Maybe,” said Allerton. “I’m not keeping secrets. I’m merely on fishing expeditions. That’s all. I may catch nothing. There may be nothing to catch.”

“Grandfather Tobias said there was someone else in Riverglow,” I protested.

“Did he? Or did he insinuate it? He knows what I’m after, and he’s covering his tracks and doing a good job of it. He told you what? That you couldn’t trust anyone and no one was as they appeared. He cast doubt in your mind about me, about Liam, about all of Riverglow, but did he come out and speak actual names?”

Reluctantly, I shook my head.

“This is how it’s going to work, how we’re going to be forced to uncover people’s involvement. It’s not fun. It’s dangerous and dirty and demeaning and everything you’ve ever believed will be called into question and doubt. You have to be strong enough to remain true to yourself and your convictions. And strong enough to believe in people and not lose faith in everything or you will be lost. You will drown just the way you talked about it earlier. I think it might be too late to walk away, but you can still try if you want.”

I shook my head because he was right. It was too late. “Grandfather Tobias said if my wolf was awake, and she is, she can’t ever go back to sleep again. So I’m in, Jason. For however long it takes and whatever it costs me, I’m in.”

The use of his first name was not lost on him and the smile he gave me was warm and approving. I felt a small glow of gratitude and pride. The man was a master at motivation. Maybe someday I would be half as good, but I sincerely doubted it.

* * * *

Murphy was sprawled on the bed when I returned to our room. The glass of cognac, mostly empty, was on the nightstand with the bottle. That was mostly empty too, but there was enough to half fill the water glass I retrieved from the bathroom.

The lights were blazing and Murphy was wide awake and not a bit drunk even given the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. He lay in the same position he’d been in the night before—one arm curled around his head, the other at his side. He’d taken off his shoes but was still dressed and his face was full of bitter self-condemnation. He watched me gulp at the cognac but didn’t say a word.