Sea of Dreams (The American Heroes Series Book 2) (36 page)

Blakesley looked at the woman, hearing her words, but the cobwebs were still there.  They had cleared as much as they were going to clear at the moment.  She gripped her husband’s hand and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to deal with any more at the moment, too exhausted and muddled to care.

Beck watched her eyes close and he kissed her cheek. “Go to sleep,” he murmured. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Don’t leave,” she whispered.

“I won’t, I promise,” he murmured, kissing her cheek again. “I love you, baby.”

Gabrielle checked her monitors, check the I.V. bag again, and gave Beck a nod before quitting the room. Beck gently pulled his hand free from Blakesley’s grasp and followed the nurse.  He caught her before she got to the nurse’s station.

“Why was she repeating questions like that?” he wanted to know, stressed. “Is there something wrong with her head?”

Gabrielle shook her head. “That’s normal,” she said. “She’s still fighting off the effects from the drugs.  Remember that she’s been unconscious for six days.  It’s going to take a little while for everything to start working normally again.”

Beck sighed heavily and squared his shoulders, forcing himself to believe what the woman was telling him. “Okay,” he said, turning for Blakesley’s room. “Thank you.”

Gabrielle stopped him. “She’s going to sleep awhile,” she said, eyeing the very dirty and exhausted man. “Why don’t you go home and clean up?  Get something to eat.  She’ll be fine until you get back.”

“I don’t want to leave her. I haven’t seen her in three weeks.”

“And she’s not going anywhere,” Gabrielle stressed to him. “Go home and see your girls.  Come back in a couple of hours. She’s going to sleep at least that long and you need to take care of yourself. You won’t do her any good if you collapse.”

Beck almost refused again but he took a good look at himself, realizing he really was a sight.   He could smell himself, too, and it wasn’t pleasant. With a reluctant nod, he agreed.

Beck had his dad drive him back to the base so he could pick up his truck.  He stopped in to tell Captain Davis what was happening and Davis immediately put him on Family Medical Leave. It would free Beck up for at least a month regardless of what went on with the Team, and Beck was grateful. Now he could focus on Blakesley and her recovery, at least for the next three weeks.  There was nothing else more important.

He drove his brand-new truck that Blakesley had given him through a burger drive-through and wolfed the burgers down as he drove home.  He spilled something on the seat and knew Blakesley would kill him if she ever found out.  He found himself laughing and tearing up at the same time, thinking of his wife now asleep in her hospital room.  He was so relieved that he couldn’t verbalize it, but his concern for her hadn’t abated.  He wouldn’t believe she was going to be all right until she literally walked out of the hospital.  Until then, he was perpetually on edge. He simply couldn’t help it.

It was early afternoon by the time he pulled up to the house, traversing the narrow alley that ran perpendicular to the house and pulling in to the back yard as the big automatic gate opened up.  Alfie was up on the deck, barking furiously as Beck parked the truck, and he opened up the car door and called to the dog.  Immediately, the dog flew off the porch and raced towards him.  As he climbed out of the truck and petted the excited dog, the back door flew open and girls began pouring out.

“Beck!” Crosby was yelling as she raced across the yard. “You’re home!”

Charlotte was right behind him and the little girls ran at him, jumping into his arms.  He picked them up and kissed soft cheeks in greeting.  Cadee, Lizzie and his mother were still by the back door as he made his way towards them.

“Hi, Dad,” Lizzie hugged her father tightly. “I’m glad your home. Grampa called and said you were on your way. How’s Blakesley?”

Beck set Crosby and Charlotte down, almost tripping when Charlotte cut him off as he took the steps to the back door. He caught himself on the rail, holding on as the dog bolted past him and up into the house after the girls.  He was home, thrilled with the instant happy chaos. It comforted him like nothing else.

“She’s awake,” he said. “She knew who I was, she carried on a conversation, so I’d say she’s doing much better.”

Lizzie simply nodded, relieved, but Cadee was watching Beck with big eyes.  She was the quiet one, the introspective and deep-feeling one, so Beck paused to pay special attention to her.

“Hi, baby girl,” he kissed her forehead. “How are you doing?”

Cadee gazed up at him with eyes that looked exactly like her mother’s. “Mom is awake?”

He nodded. “She is. She asked about you. She really misses you but she’ll be home soon.”

Cadee thought on that. Then, she turned and ran into the house.  They could hear her running up the stairs.  Beck looked curiously at Lizzie and his mother.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

Elizabeth hugged her son in greeting as he came in the back door. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “She’s hardly spoken since her mother was hurt. I think she’s really scared but afraid to show it.  She’s very stoic, that one.”

Beck’s jaw ticked faintly. “She’s been through a lot the past couple of years. She’s the only one out of the three old enough to understand everything.”

Beck went into the kitchen with his mother and Lizzie on his heels.  He opened his mouth to say something to his mother but Crosby and Charlotte suddenly ran at him from the dining room, handing him multiple pieces of paper that ended up in a wad in his hand.  The dog was right behind them, barking, jumping around at the excitement.

“We drew you some pictures,” Crosby said happily. “Look – we drew you a whale!”

Beck smiled at the pictures, the crayon scribbles of little girls. “That’s very good,” he told her. “I love it.”

“Can you take it to Mommy?”

He nodded. “Absolutely. She’ll love them, too.”

The girls squealed and ran out, followed by the dog, and Beck had to grin at the joyful bedlam they created.  He set the drawings down on the kitchen counter.

“I think I’ll go see how Cadee is,” he said quietly.

He walked out of the kitchen and realized that Lizzie was following him by the time he reached the stairs.  He turned around and she fell right into his arms, hugging him tightly.  He hugged her back.

“What’s the matter, baby girl?” he asked softly, his cheek against the top of her head. “Are you okay?”

Lizzie was in tears. “It was so scary, Dad,” she whispered. “The cops came to tell us about Blakesley and we didn’t know where you were. Marshall came and took care of everything. I heard him tell Grampa that Blakesley’s car was cut in half and it was a miracle she survived. Is she really okay?”

Beck felt sick to his stomach to hear that, but he nodded. “She’s going to be fine,” he kissed her forehead. “Thank you for helping Gramma with the little girls. I’m proud of you for being so responsible.”

Lizzie nodded, wiping at her nose.  “They’re my sisters,” she said simply. “Dad, I know I told you that I liked Blakesley when I first met her, but I just want you to know… you know, that I love her, too.  She’s been really good to me and I feel like I can talk to her.  I was so scared for her but I didn’t want the little girls to see how scared I was.  It’s been really hard without you.”

He sighed sadly, giving her a big hug. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. “I’m going to see if I can change that, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m going to see if I can get a job that doesn’t require me being gone months at a time.”

Lizzie looked up at him, shocked. “You’re going to stop being a S.E.A.L.?”

He nodded faintly. “I’m getting too old to do that stuff.  I’m going to see about getting a nice desk job at the base so I can come home every night to my girls. I think it’s time.”

Lizzie was torn between disbelief and excitement. “That would be great,” she said. “We need you here. We don’t want you out running around where something can happen to you.  Blakesley didn’t think I knew, but she cried almost every night after you left. She really missed you.”

Beck patted her cheek. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said as he began to take the stairs. “Now, I want to see if Cadee is okay.”

Lizzie let him go, mostly because Crosby and Charlotte started yelling in the playroom so she went to see what the ruckus was about.  Beck went to the second floor of the old house, going to Cadee’s bedroom and knocking softly on the half-open door.  Not receiving an answer, he stuck his head inside.

Cadee was lying on her bed, hugging a big blue teddy bear.  The room was messy, clothes and shoes scattered on the floor. Cadee looked at Beck as he entered and he smiled at her. 

“Hi,” he said. “I came to see how you’re doing.”

Cadee seemed to find more interest in the bear. “I’m okay.”

“Really?” he sat down on the edge of her bed, watching her pick at the toy.  He could sense the fright, the frustration, simply by her manner. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not, maybe, scared for your mom?”

Cadee didn’t answer right away.   She was poking the bear in the eye. “I just want her to come home, that’s all.”

“We all do, baby. She’s getting much better, I promise.”

Cadee just shrugged. Beck could see that she was having an increasingly difficult time pretending that she was okay.  He felt a good deal of sympathy for her.

“You know,” he said softly, “if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.  I won’t get mad and I won’t laugh. I care about what you feel, Cadee.  I know this has been hard for you.”

Cadee’s brow furrowed and she started poking the bear rather violently. “Everybody goes away,” she muttered.

“What do you mean?”

She poked the bear so hard that it fell out of her hands.  She picked it up and threw it to the floor.

“My dad went away,” she spoke angrily as she climbed off the bed. “Now my mom has gone away.  You even go away.  I live in a house with my sisters and people I didn’t even know until a little while ago.  I don’t even know where my home is. This isn’t my room!”

Beck could see how agitated she was.  He wasn’t quite sure what to say to her without setting her off.  As he’d discovered, Cadee was quiet until she got on a roll.  Then, it would all come out.  He wanted to make sure she got it all out, even if it came flying out all over him.

“Your mom bought this house for you and your sisters,” he said evenly. “This is your bedroom with all of your stuff.”

Cadee was standing on the futon that Nikki slept on, looking out the window that faced to the south.  The Coronado Bridge was in the distance and faint haze hung over the bay.  There wasn’t anything she recognized in the view.  It wasn’t her city.

“I just want to go home,” she murmured sadly.

Beck stood up from the bed.  “You are home,” he said gently.  “Cadee, I know his has been hard on you. I know what happened to your dad and I know how hard it was on you.  Your mom brought you to San Diego because she thought it would be better for you to be here, away from that life in Los Angeles.   I was so lucky to meet you and your mom and your sisters, and so lucky that you allowed me to come in to your life.  I love you and so does Lizzie and Gramma Elizabeth and Grampa Beck.  We’re so happy to be a family with you and we just want you to be happy, too. What would make you happy, honey? What can we do to help?”

Cadee broke down in sobs. “I want to see my mom.”

Beck went to her, putting his hands on her and hugging her as much as she would allow.  In fact, she rather caved in to him.  He hugged her tightly.

“I’ll take you to the hospital tomorrow, okay?” he knelt down so he was at her level, his big hand wiping away the tears. “Don’t cry, baby girl. I promise I’ll take you to see your mom tomorrow.  Would you like that?”

Cadee nodded, struggling to stop the water works.  She wiped at her eyes furiously. “Is she really okay?”

He nodded.  “She’s getting better every day.”

Cadee sniffled, wiping at her nose. “Can… can I bring her something?”

“Like what?”

“A present maybe. Like a gift?”

He smiled. “Of course,” he said. “Let me change my clothes and I’ll take you shopping, just you and me. Would you like that?”

Cadee nodded. “What about Crosby and Charlotte?”

“Do you want them to come?”

She thought on that, shaking her head after a moment. “No,” she said. “They can stay here.  Beck?”

“What, baby?”

“I… I’m glad you married my mom, but I don’t like it when you go away for a long time.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Neither do I.”

“Beck?”

“What?”

She wrinkled up her pert little nose. “You’re stinky.”

He pretended to scowl at her, which made her giggle. He kissed her cheek and stood up, feeling relieved that Cadee was feeling better. He also realized that he was seriously feeling his exhaustion. 

He made his way back downstairs, hearing Lizzie in the playroom with the little girls as he made his way back to the master bedroom.  It was an odd experience for him when he entered the room that had so much of Blakesley in it, from her paintings on the walls to the comforter on the bed she loved so much.   He could smell her everywhere.  It was enough to bring a lump to his throat but he fought it as he made his way into the bathroom, which still had Blakesley’s cosmetics and flat iron in it just where she had left them the morning she had been in the accident.  It was like a time capsule, everything the way she left it.

He didn’t touch a thing as he went about showering and cleaning up.   It was easier to pretend everything was going to be all right if he could believe she was going to come through the door at any moment to clean things up.

Marshall and Beck Sr. were in on the covert op the next day.

Marshall ran interference with Gabrielle as soon as the hospital opened for visiting hours.  He pretended to engage her in a serious conversation about his daughter’s post-hospital care as Beck and Beck Sr. snuck into the ICU with Cadee between them.  Beck Sr. was the look out, waving Beck and Cadee into the ward when another nurse turned her back.