Search (SEEK Book 1) (20 page)

They nearly succeeded.

Like an angry robot, my SEEK training kicks on in high gear. I wipe the tears off my cheeks. Blinking, I survey the scene through renewed eyes. The county police and some sort of English specialist unit are huddled over the hood of a fire aid car. I’m positive at least one of the men is with the counterterrorism department because SEEK doesn’t do anything in a small way. This is probably unlike any other arson case this small suburb has ever seen.

As I’m watching, three men in black approach one of the officers, passing around their credentials. The cop waves them through. The man in front carries a manila envelope, which he hands to the men at the car. They all lean over the papers.

Then I see it. The three men in black are the only ones without a logo identifying who they work for.

“Damn it! We have to go!” I clamp onto Jonathan and Tuck.

“Wait,” Tuck yanks away, wrapping his arms over his stomach.

“Look! SEEK.” I snarl, spinning on a heel and weaving through the crowd.

“But Rose—” Tuck says morosely.

I whirl back. Tuck’s hands are balled into fists, ready for a fight. “See that? SEEK isn’t here to play tag, Tuck. They’ll have no problem killing all of us if they catch us. Now, let’s go!”

Tuck’s worried brows knit together as he shoots a sorrowful look at the billowing clouds of ash rising into the sky. But only for a second, then he shoves his shoulder resentfully into mine and stomps after Jonathan. I hear him grumbling under his breath. But I let it go. He’s entitled to be pissed.

I am. And I know better than anyone that his anger is going to come in handy later.

I get past the three boys in rugby shirts, when my heart skips a beat.

The third man in black takes off his hat.

A bald head appears.

Thomas Corduroy.

It was my job to recognize that head in the worst of conditions. And seeing him here, a few hundred yards away in the dark and smoke, is no different. For a brief second my heart rejoices. Cord is alive. But at once everything else makes sense. Cord knows me as well as I know him. That’s why he’s been promoted to Ops. Cord is the one person at SEEK who knows how I think. The one person who could pick me out of a crowd.

My skin crawls like I’m suddenly being watched from every angle.

Slowly, without drawing any more attention to myself, I slide my cardigan up over my hair. Then I shrug my shoulders up, slouching at the waist, and change everything about my appearance.

I slip away.

“Agent Corduroy is here,” I growl to Jonathan. My hands shoved tightly in my pockets to hold myself together. I don’t want to do something stupid. Something I would’ve done a few weeks ago, like parading right up to Cord and demanding to know if he set the fire. I’d know from the look in his blue eyes if he was lying. He could never hide the truth from me.

If Cord is responsible…if he’s killed Rose…I don’t know what I’ll do to him, but I’ll make sure he suffers.

“Your old partner Cord? The one I…” Jonathan’s eyes grow huge. He throws a nervous glance over his shoulder, quickening his step.

“Yep.” I nod, my eyes straight ahead.

A long sigh of recognition lights Jonathan’s face as he works out the riddle. “Cord’s not here to persuade you and bring you in, even though that’s what SEEK has told him to do. He’s here for revenge.”

“Exactly. And I know Cord. He won’t stop until he gets it done. Once he’s mad, he’s mad!” I’m mad myself. Mad that I left the Fifth Column house unprotected. Maybe I could’ve stopped Cord from setting the fire if I hadn’t been such a coward. If I would’ve just committed to the Fifth Column Rose might still be alive.

But mostly I’m mad I let her down. Rose was my friend.

“
Cord is your friend,”
the voice says in my head.

“Cord was my friend. We’re definitely not friends anymore,”
I answer back, hands clenched into fists.

“I think you better make that call, Tuck. Paul deserves to know what’s happened to his cousin,” Jonathan suggests.

“But—they haven’t found a body,” Tuck pleads, sounding very young.

“And they never will,” I mutter under my breath.

Jonathan shoots me a questioning look.

I shake my head and look at the ground. “I’m just being realistic. SEEK is here. They won’t leave any evidence.”

“Sorry, man, but it’s time to face it.” Jonathan’s voice quivers as he reaches for my hand.

“We all loved Rose, Tuck,” I offer. But there are no words that can console any of us as we scurry away from the scene.

Rose is gone. The Fifth Column is homeless. And SEEK is hunting us, just like they do anything that stands between them and their initiative. What could anyone say that would make any of this okay?

We walk in somber silence until we find our cab parked in the driveway of a vacant house. I’m glad it’s still here. The cabbie’s asleep in the front seat, but the engine’s running and the headlights are off.

Small favors.

Tuck runs his hands over her head, his Mohawk bouncing back like hairbrush bristles. He grumbles something intangible and yanks the burner phone from his pocket. His frustration shows in every exaggerated step as he paces back and forth, waiting for Paul to answer.

Jonathan opens the backdoor to the cab. “Let’s give him a minute. He loved Rose.”

I duck into the warm cab. The driver stirs.

Jonathan curls his arms protectively around me. “Give us a minute,” he tells the cabbie.

“Tuck and Rose? I didn’t know. She never said anything.” I chew my lip. Why would she tell me if I never asked? What else didn’t I know about her? She deserved a better friend than me.

“I don’t think she knew. Tuck was working up the courage to ask her out,” Jonathan says, peppering my cheek with little kisses. As if he can kiss away my grief.

The real travesty of losing Rose isn’t just about those of us left to mourn her, but the fact that she didn’t even know how much we loved her. And now she never will. She’ll never know the love she should’ve. It isn’t fair that I have Jonathan comforting me. Kissing me. While Rose is gone.

In one final moment of clarity, I watch Tuck through the window. His expression is rife with anguish as he explains to Paul what’s happened to Rose. My world tilts sideways. All at once the pieces fall into place. The answer’s so simple. It’s been echoing in my head the whole time.

I didn’t know what was missing, until it was found.

That day, sitting at the top of the waterfall, watching the man I’d been sent to kill fishing as though he had nothing to fear.

Lindy wasn’t the only reason I’d been hunting. I’d joined SEEK for me. I’d been searching for the place I belonged. Being forgotten by my parents had hurt me more deeply than I’d been ready to admit. I was trying to gain back their love—the only love I’d known up to that point. I thought I could achieve that by fixing my sister.

But I’m no longer a child. I can never go home. My parents can’t fill this void.

The love I’m seeking is the one love I know exists solely for me. I turn to Jonathan, our eyes meeting as if he knows what’s happening. It’s him. It’s always been him. The love I’m willing to die for is sitting right here, asking me to stay. Asking me to be part of something real. Part of him.

I grab the door handle and leap out of the taxi.

“Hey!” Jonathan says, clambering after me.

“Let me talk to Paul. Just one second. Sorry.” I lift the phone from Tuck’s hand.

Tuck’s eyes, red and glassy, lose another tear. He turns away with a shrug.

Jonathan’s beside me, watching me intently.

I take a deep steadying breath and rest the phone against my ear. “Paul, this is Keira. You know that question you’ve been waiting for me to answer?”

Paul sniffs. “Keira? Are you finally ready to join?”

One last look at Jonathan and I know I’m right where I should be. “I’m in.”

In every lifetime there is one day that is a test.

It is a test to determine who you will compete against in times of trial.

Today is that day.

Today, we all have a choice.

And I’ve made mine.