Searching For Captain Wentworth (20 page)

The ballroom was
very crowded and it took some time to
squeeze past the multitude of people who stood at the sides
observing the dancers. I didn’t quite know where I
was going; the
card room was
full of people and I just wanted to be on my own. I
was making my way along the corridor in the crush
of people when
I caught sight
of Jane. Trying to reach her I was swept along, my
feet hardly touching the ground as the crowds
surged in two
directions.
Spotting a gap, I slipped and dodged my way through
until I almost caught up and was about to call her
name when I
noticed she was
with the same man she’d been dancing with earlier.

He was urgently
whispering something in her ear though she didn’t
look at him or communicate in any way. I couldn’t
see their
expressions,
only the backs of their heads. There was a flash of
movement, their fingers brushed with lightning
speed, and I
glimpsed a piece
of paper pass between them before they abruptly
separated, she to the ballroom, and he to the
card-room.

I didn’t know
what to think. I couldn’t help feeling curious
about the reasons why they couldn’t talk to one
another openly, but
it was none of
my business, and I decided I must put any
speculation out of my head. There could be all
sorts of reasons why
Jane and
a handsome young man were corresponding in such a
clandestine way, and then told myself off for
imagining that a love
affair
must be the reason.

Opening up the
pair of double doors to my right I decided to
take a chance and found myself in the tearoom,
which was empty.
Preparations had
been made for the influx of thirsty dancers who
would be arriving within half an hour to take tea.
I sat down
amongst the
tables scattered with teacups and closed my eyes
savouring the peace and quiet. The sense of relief
at having escaped
was sublime
until I heard the door scrape open.

To my enormous
surprise, it was Charles who poked his head round
the door. ‘I thought I saw you come in this
direction. Please tell me
to go away
if you’d rather not have any company. I cannot help
thinking that you wish to be on your own again.’

‘Oh no, I would
welcome your company, Lieutenant Austen.
Please come in. I admit; I came in here to escape,
but not from
you.’

He took the seat
next to mine and stretched out his long,
muscular legs. I remember thinking how he seemed to
make the
entire room come
alive with warmth and brightness like the candles
that burned in the sconces, sending haloes of
candlelight to fall
softly on his
features and on the dark curls waving around his face.

I noted the firm
contours of his face and his grave, serious
expression that almost hid the humour that bubbled
away behind
the deep tawny
eyes. Struck once more by his sheer physical
presence Charles made me feel dainty and tiny by
comparison, a
distinction that
reminded me that we were so very different. Poles
apart in every way and yet I felt there was a
connection between us.
I sensed
it and I began to think that perhaps he might too. He was
studying my face again, watching my mouth, which
made it twitch
with nerves. I
wanted to bite my lips.

‘Is it Mr
Glanville you wish to avoid?’

I nodded. ‘I do
not want to dance with him again for fear my
sister Emma will never speak to me again.’

‘Ah, I see. If
not for your sister, you would choose to dance
with him.’

‘Oh, goodness
me, no! He is a pleasant enough person, but he
is … a little eager,’ I said at last, trying to
find the words without
betraying
any modern sensibility.

I looked up to
see him smiling. ‘I cannot blame Mr Glanville
for wishing to dance with you.’

‘Well, my sister
would prefer that I did not dance with him at
all. I think between them, she and my father have
designs on him.
He is a widower,
you know.’

Charles smirked.
‘Yes, I have heard he is looking for a wife.’

‘My sister is
looking for a husband and I think it a very likely
match.’

‘And you, Miss
Elliot, are you also looking for a husband?’

I caught that
expression of his again, the serious one with the
evident hint of mirth around his mouth just waiting
to break out
into a laugh.
Was he teasing me again?

‘No, I am not.
Marriage where love has no place is not for me,
I confess. There is far too much of that sort of
thing going on here
in Bath and it is
not to my taste, I can assure you. Husband hunting
could never be a sport for me. Until I fall in love
with someone I
believe truly
returns my affection, I shall not contemplate it.’

‘You are in a
very happy position to have that choice, Miss
Elliot.’

‘Well, whether I
truly have that power remains to be seen, but
I do not think my opinion is one generally shared
amongst the
people with whom
I am acquainted.’

‘I am certain
your ideas are well-considered, Miss Elliot, and
I think it wise to trust to your own judgment in
these matters.’

‘And, what is
your opinion, Lieutenant Austen? Are you intent
on marriage? Do you seek love or the pursuit of a
suitable wealthy
alliance?’

‘I would like to
marry one day. But, I have my way and my
fortune yet to make. Even if I wished to marry, I
could not expect
to attract a
wife. Not perhaps until I am made Captain of a frigate
of my own will I consider matrimony as a serious
prospect.’

‘So, I
understand you will not allow yourself to fall in love
until you have been promoted.’

Charles threw
back his head and laughed again. ‘Well, Miss
Elliot, you may prove me wrong. I think, however,
that what I
meant to say is
that, I feel it would be best to wait before I form any
attachment that I could not immediately honour.
However, I do not
think that my
sister would necessarily agree with the idea of
waiting to marry. Jane has expressed her thoughts
on this matter
having witnessed
at first hand the misery of what can happen when
two people are forced to wait for want of fortune.’

I wondered if he
was going to tell me something about Jane’s
mysterious friend. ‘Was Miss Jane in love?’

‘It was my
sister Cassandra who fell in love and became
engaged before her fiancé went to sea as a
chaplain. They hoped his
position
might find him preferrment with Lord Craven, but poor Mr
Thomas Fowle died of yellow fever in San Domingo
and was
buried at sea.
His death afflicted us all; he was as another brother
to me.’

‘That is a very
sad tale. I cannot think how your sister must
have been affected.’

‘For Cassy, I
believe, she has never fully recovered, although
she bears her loss with dignity and fortitude. But,
her nature has
always been more
reserved and I am not sure if she would ever
have been encouraged to any folly by marrying early
or before our
parents thought
it right, whatever the outcome.’

‘Something in
what you have said makes me think that Miss
Jane is a different character.’

‘Cassandra is
prudent, well-judging – she has the calmer
disposition of the two. My sister Jane is very open
with a happy
temper,
vivacious and passionate in all her pursuits. If she were to
fall in love, we would all know about it, I think.’

‘And if you were
to fall in love, Lieutenant Austen?’

‘You are a very
bold inquisitor, Miss Elliot. But, since you
ask, the fact that it is impossible for me to
contemplate the marriage
state
just yet, means that I will do everything in my power to insure
love doesn’t happen.’

‘Do you mean to
say that you might deny your feelings? If, for
example, you were to fall in love against your
will, if it happened
without
you knowing so that you had no time to consider it, what
do you think would happen then?’

Charles paused.
I met his eyes, which were contemplating
mine. ‘I enjoy the company of pretty young women, I
love to dance
and even to
flirt a little, but I do not have the luxury of time to make
really lasting friendships. I tend to rely on my
sisters for
companionship
when I am at home.’

‘I think you
have very successfully evaded my question. What
of your feelings, Lieutenant Austen?’

‘I like to think
I am an open-hearted person, Miss Elliot, with
all the correct feelings of affection, but perhaps
it is just a matter of
not ever
having met the right person who inspires the sort of
feelings you describe. I admit; I have little idea
of how it might feel
to be in
love. I have not had the luck to fall in love … yet.’

‘I think that a
fair answer. And I daresay, it will be your fate
one day. I am certain there must be someone for
everyone. When
you least expect
it, love will strike!’

‘In the
meantime, could I persuade you to another dance, Miss
Elliot?’

‘No persuasion
is necessary, Lieutenant Austen. I should love
to dance.’

If possible, the
second dance was even more fun than the first.
We both relaxed and the need for polite chatter all
but vanished. We
moved together
so well, he was a wonderful partner and such a
good dancer, that I felt completely at ease. I
couldn’t think of a time
when I’d
enjoyed myself so much.

Mrs Randall was
waiting for me as we came off the floor. She
acknowledged Charles before excusing us, saying
that my father
wished to speak
with me.

‘Thank you, Miss
Elliot,’ Charles said. ‘I hope we shall see
you very soon. I know my sister is full of schemes
for her
expedition up to
Beechen Cliff.’

I knew that we
should not be able to dance again. In all of
Jane’s books it was considered most inappropriate
to dance a third
time in one
evening. It made me like him even more. Such “a good-
looking, gentleman-like, pleasant, young man,” was
the phrase that
sprang to mind.

‘Miss Elliot, I
must speak to you,’ Mrs Randall said quietly. ‘I
wish only to advise you as I believe your mother
would have done,
but I think you
should be on your guard. Your friends, the Austens,
are very amiable, genteel sort of people and I
believe your dear
mama would have
had no objections to the friendship with the
sisters who are well-informed, intelligent girls.
However, I cannot
help the
observation that Lieutenant Austen has singled you out for
two dances this evening and has been most
particular in his
attention to
you. Your father would not approve of such a marked
interest, or of such a connection.’

‘I have only
danced with him, Mrs Randall. We are not about
to be engaged!’

‘Be that as it
may, you should be cautious. It is a daughter’s
duty to marry well for her family’s sake as well as
her own. You and
your sister will
make exceptional matches, marriages that would
have made your mother proud and happy, allowing you
to partake
in a life of
privilege and wealth. This is what she wanted for you,
Sophia, to take your place in society. Do not
damage your chances
of happiness for
a few moments of foolish frivolity. Do you
understand, my dear?’

‘You think
Lieutenant Austen is trying to court me? Really,
Mrs Randall, nothing could be further from the
truth. He has no
wish to marry.
He told me as much. No, he is too busy proving
himself in the Navy; he has no intention of doing
anything so
foolish as to
fall in love. My father’s fears and your own are
completely groundless.’