Seasons (34 page)
Authors: Katrina Alba
I lived for nearly nine more years. I would be lying if I said the last one wasn’t pretty rough, but I got nine amazing more years with the most wonderful husband in the world and the most beautiful baby girl that ever was. I was happier in those years than most people probably are in their entire lifetime. I lived.
Cancer is ugly, but life? Life is beautiful. If we only focus on the ugly things in life, we miss all the wonderful happening all around us. I chose to focus every ounce of energy I had left on the good, rather than letting the bad poison what life I had left.
Some people would pity how my life ended. I pity those people, because they don’t know what it’s like to live your life every single day as if it were your last. That is how we should all live, because the truth is, it might just be. We’re all dying, but we’re not dead yet…
“Endure the cold, and true love will follow.”
~Rosca Marx
A letter to the light of my life, Abigail Hope
My beautiful Abby,
I want to start out by first saying I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry, my sweet, intelligent, amazing baby girl, that I’m not there. I’m sorry that I will not physically be able to pick you up when you fall or cheer you on in all the amazing and even ordinary things you will do in your life.
I hope you know and can feel that I want to be there, and though not physically, I will be watching over you through everything you do. Please, whatever you do, my sweet girl, do not cry for me. Instead, smile. Smile, because I had a life full of loves, loss, mistakes, and triumphs. Good and bad, I do not regret one single part of my life because it all led to you.
Holding you in my arms the day you were born, and every single second I was able to have with you, were the happiest of my entire existence. One day, if you become a mother, you will understand that the word love is not enough to describe what a mother feels for her child. It’s simply the only one in our language strong enough to come close.
I wanted to tell you all the things I hope for you, so here it is, baby girl, listen close.
Live. Look at yourself and know that you are beautiful. You. Are. So. Beautiful. I hope someone tells you this every day of your life.
Live. Do not hold hate in your heart. Hearts are meant for loving. Do not concern yourself with things that you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time.
Live. Do not hold onto painful memories just because you are afraid to forget. Choose happiness. Yes, it is a choice. Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it is to really love someone. Live for something. Live for yourself. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Follow your dreams. Live your life to its fullest potential because you only get one. Regret nothing, because it all leads you to right where you are supposed to be in the end. If nothing else, know that someone loves you. From the moment that you were, you were loved.
Live, my perfect girl, live all the seasons of your life.
Loving you to my very last breath and beyond, because love conquers all.
Mom
Katrina Alba is a former Kindergarten teacher, turned stay-at-home mom. She currently nanny’s and writes full-time. She lives in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois with her husband and two small children. When she isn’t running after her two little monsters, she can be found reading, watching reruns of Friends or tending bar at the local watering hole. Katrina started writing her first book,
My Children Hate Me
, a humorous, anecdotal tales of motherhood as a form of mommy therapy. Romance, stories have always been her preferred genre so she naturally ventured into that as well. Much like her reading tastes, her writing style falls into many genres as well.
Connect with Katrina:
E-mail:
[email protected]
Twitter @AuthorKatAlba
Coming soon…
The Truth
A midnight kiss, with a stranger, at a New Year’s Eve party started the whirlwind romance. Five years later, Alyssa and Grant Kennedy have the perfect marriage. Alyssa is a doctor and Grant is an accountant. They live in a gorgeous house, with a white picket fence and are about to start a family. Things couldn’t be better, could they?
Unfortunately, things aren’t always what they seem…
We live in a world filled with lies. People lie about their age. They lie about their weight. Even job resumes are filled with mistruths. But some lies are unforgivable, and some lies get people killed.
What is the biggest lie you ever told?
Holy crap, I wrote a book! There are so many
amazeball
people in my life that it wouldn’t have been possible to write a book without them!
First and foremost, a thank you to my husband for putting up with a messy house, far fewer home-cooked meals than usual, and letting me take off on weekends to my diner to write. Also, a big thank you to my mom and my brother, Mike, who babysat so I could get in a few hours here and there.
A huge thank you to Steph Schiefer. You were my inspiration to just write, and I did. Fast friends that I’m sure will be forever friends. Love you, jerkface!
A special thank you to Ginger Andrews. What would I have done without you? Thank you for all your help when I needed it most and for making me laugh through the frustration.
Also, I have to throw a shout out to all my clan of girls, who allowed me to bounce ideas and talked me through things. I love you all. Jen Cousineau, Stephanie Gresham, Chelsea Barnes, Ashley Strausbaugh, Amber Slade, and Norma Grijalva! I’m so happy we all met this year.
Shannon Thorne, I cannot thank you enough for all your insight into my setting. I will make it to Maine one day, and I hope I did the beauty of this amazing state justice!
Thank you for my beautiful cover, Cassy Roop and Pink Ink Designs! I heart you so hard for all you have done for me, and thanks for putting up with my picky ass!
Thank you to Brooke Cumberland for all of your help in the end making this book the best it could be. You have taught me a lot the past few weeks, but the best lesson was to stand up for myself. <3
Thank you, thank you, Rogena Mitchell-Jones for taking on editing this book last minute to make the dream of getting it published a reality. I am so thankful for the wonderful people in the Indie Community who help others succeed!
A very heartfelt thank you to Ashley Campbell of Ashley’s Angels. Your words inspired me and are weaved throughout the ending letter. You are so strong and truly an inspiration, so thank you! <3
Last, but certainly not least, thank you to all the blogs, authors, betas, and other readers, who have shown support. It means the world!