Second Chances (10 page)

‘You’ve got hickies! Oh my God, how old are you, 12? You’ve got love-bites all down your neck, Jesus Christ, hahahahhahaha…’

Allegra
chose to ignore her, towelling off furiously, stepping into the clean bathrobe Liz had thoughtfully hung up behind the bathroom door for her.

‘I’ll have to borrow some clothes,’ she said, with as much dignity as she could muster. ‘Underwear too. Not a bra, though, there’d be no point. You could fit my entire head into one of the cups of your bras.’

‘And Clive’s head into the other cup, oh, oh, my sides, my sides, I think I’m having a seizure, hahhahhahahhahaa…’ Liz rolled on the floor in an agony of laughter.

Allegra
stepped over her and wafted out to Liz’s bedroom, where she began rummaging through her wardrobe to find something she could wear. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a big sweatshirt, she found the hair dryer, bent forward and began blow-drying her hair, which felt like straw as she had used neither shampoo nor conditioner. Ah, who cares, she thought.

She
slapped on some moisturiser, put on a slick of lip salve and a pair of Liz’s socks, and went into the kitchen, where Liz was now sitting at the table, innocently reading the Sunday papers. She peered over the top of her reading glasses, which had the peculiar effect of making her look like a creamy-skinned, flame-haired goddess moonlighting as a librarian.

‘Here, look at this article,’ she said as Allegra entered. ‘ “Sad 40-year-old Catholic bint shags disgustingly hairy man”, I wonder what that’s all about. Says there’s a photo spread in the colour supplement, let’s see if we can find that…’

Allegra
threw a loaf of bread at her friend. This was just not fair. This was, she thought, even worse than opening her eyes this morning and realising she was in Clive’s bed. Naked. Clothes strewn all over the floor and, ugh, two squishy, used condoms lying by the night table, which she’d had to be careful to avoid stepping on. Grabbing her coffee and digging in her bag for her cigarettes, she marched out to the patio, sat down on one of the garden sofas and lit up. They really should wipe these sofas down once in a while, Allegra thought, I’m covered in grime and dog hair and my bottom’s slightly damp because it was raining last night and the seat’s still wet. Anyway, these are Liz’s clothes I’m wearing, so, serves her right.

It
didn’t take long before Liz came out to join her, trying to look apologetic. She placed her coffee down on the table and sat next to Allegra.

‘I’m sorry, I really am, but you have to see it from my side. If it had been me who’d turned up at your flat at the crack of dawn the night after I had shagged Clive… come on, you’d be pissing yourself too, wouldn’t you?’ she said.

‘I’d like to think I’d be a bit more sympathetic and concerned for the state of your mental health and emotional well-being. And I’d hardly call half past ten in the morning “the crack of dawn”,’ Allegra sniffed, but had to concede that essentially, Liz was right. She’d be the one hopping around, collapsing in fits of giggles and taking the piss out of her friend. She sighed.

‘Look, to be totally and completely honest, I can’t actually remember all that much in terms of details. He was very hairy, he wouldn’t shut up, and it was really naff “sex talk” — you know, “oh yes, baby, come on baby, let me give it to you big and hard and fast” — like a really bad ’70s porn movie, that kind of thing. In the end I had to pretend I was playing a sex game just so that I could gag him and he’d have to shut up, then I closed my eyes and pretended it wasn’t really him and he was someone else.’

The
words seemed to hang in the air as Liz digested what her friend had told her. Then, slowly, she said, ‘…You mean Jack, don’t you?’

Allegra
went quiet, looked away. Yes, she meant Jack. But the chances of ever getting anywhere near him in an emotional sense, never mind physically, were zero to none, so… She’d had a “WTF” moment last night and ended up in bed with Clive, making all his dreams come true and giving herself nightmares that would no doubt last a lifetime.

‘Yes.’

‘Have you heard from him at all since the party?’

‘No… Only at Apex, and then you two are always so busy that I never really get a chance to even say hi to him properly. I’ve sent him a couple of text messages; just general, no-hidden-meaning-how-are-you kind of messages. He always replied to say things were fine, thanks for asking. Then yesterday, before you and I met up, I texted him again, thinking well, it’s been four days, so hopefully I won’t look too sad and desperate.

‘And
he replied more or less the same, except this time he added “I promise I’ll keep in touch”. It just sounded so… final. That’s the kind of thing you say to someone to be polite, when you know you’re not likely to ever see them or hear from them again.’

Allegra
could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. How the hell had she landed herself in this mess? Hopelessly, accidentally in love with a gorgeous boy 15 years younger than she was, with a girlfriend he was mad about and would never be unfaithful to, never mind actually leave. Dammit, they’d probably end up getting married soon and then her misery would be complete.

‘I just don’t understand, Liz. He was so… affectionate at that evening; it all seemed so genuine, not like he was just fooling around, you know? He made me feel special to him, and it wasn’t just that night, you know it wasn’t. He flirted with me from the start… and now, without any explanation, he’s taken it all away.’

‘I’m sorry, hun.’ Liz reached over, squeezed her hand. ‘And don’t read too much into any of it, it was just a stupid text message…’

Her
voice trailed off. She knew how Allegra felt; after all, wasn’t she herself in love with a guy she’d only met twice and who had now fucked off to some foreign country where she couldn’t reach him? Liz was not the sort to fall in love at first sight; so even when she discovered she really enjoyed Gerard’s company — both in and out of bed — the night they met, she simply assumed that it was another pleasant, short-lived interlude.

It
wasn’t until she returned to Hong Kong that she had found herself unable to stop thinking about him. On impulse, she’d flown back to Paris, called him and arranged to meet. She was determined to prove to herself that it had been just a whim, that there were no real sparks between them, that he wasn’t as special as she had built him up to be in her head. In fact, he was also probably crap in bed.

But
as soon as he met her by the Seine, roaring up on his customised Harley Davidson, she knew she loved him. That night, however, was also the night he broke her heart.

‘I’m leaving Paris, cherie,’ he said.

For
one moment of blind, foolish hope, Liz had thought he was going to tell her he was coming to Hong Kong to be with her. His next words shattered that dream even before it had time to take full shape.

‘I’m going to Macedonia… Since Eastern Europe fell apart, they have been trying to rebuild the society, form a new government. I’ve volunteered to help,’ Gerard said, his eyes sad. ‘I don’t know where I’ll be posted, or what I’ll be doing, but I leave in two months’ time.’

‘But… how long will you be there?’ Liz’s voice faltered. ‘I’ll be able to reach you, won’t I?’

‘I don’t think so, my love,’ he said, kissing her forehead. ‘The infrastructure there is in ruins for most parts of the country… I’ll be gone two years. You cannot wait for me. You have too much beauty, too much love. You must not waste it.’

Liz
had cried and, later, as Gerard lay asleep, sworn to herself that she would never, ever again give her heart to any man so easily. She flew back to Hong Kong in the throes of a severe depression which not even the vast cocktail of mood-elevating medications her various therapists prescribed would be able to lift.

And
so Liz worked, drank, and refused to let anyone get close to her. And while there were times she felt she didn’t have the emotional or psychological strength to deal with Allegra’s problems, she was grateful to have a reason not to dwell on her own. And now, with Jack, although Liz didn’t honestly know one way or another what was going on in his head, she felt it deep in her gut that for him, it hadn’t just been a passing flirtation or a game where it came to Allegra.

In
an ideal world, if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he and Allegra would have been together from the start. You would have had to have been blind not to see that the sparks that had gone off between the two of them were powerful and real. It wasn’t just lust — although God knows there was so much of that between them that it made everyone else feel self-conscious, as if they should look away — it was something more.

But
it wasn’t an ideal world. If it was, she and Allegra wouldn’t be sitting in her back garden on a grubby old sofa that was falling apart at the seams, both of them quietly wondering how it was that their lives had turned out like this.

Chapter Fourteen

THE CAVERN WAS heaving with people. Belinda squeezed her way through the crowd and came face-to-face with Ah-Chai, the manager. Thrilled with her luck, she squeezed his arm, leant forward to shout into his ear, and he nodded. Belinda then turned around, looking for the rest of her party, and signalled them to follow her. Ah-Chai, bless him, had managed to find them a table at the far end of the room, next to the kitchens. Timing, of course, was everything. Another group of guests had been in the process of vacating the space as the Central FM party arrived, and Belinda had bumped into Chad at just the right moment.

They
settled down, sent Rose over to the bar to get their drinks and turned their attention to the band. The Bones were a brilliant cover band; they did music from pretty much all genres, from the ’60s right through to whatever might be in the charts at the moment, but generally stuck to the ’80s and ’90s.

‘I wasn’t even born when this song was a hit!’ Rose said to Belinda, a waiter following her with a trayload of drinks. She was singing along to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, as the Bones’ lead singer, Arnel, performed a note-perfect rendition of the song, complete with Freddie Mercury moves. ‘I only know it because my mum had all these old CDs when I was growing up!’

‘Well, I think I might have been 10 when it first came out,’ Belinda replied, grinning. She loved ’80s music; New Wave, New Romantics, the latter days of punk, Mods… maybe it was just the sight of boys wearing eyeliner and ruffled shirts that tickled her. The rest of the group seemed to be getting a kick out of it, too; a few of them had ventured onto the dance floor as the Bones kicked into the high-octane section of the song.

Jack
was among the throng, head-banging with the best of them. Belinda was pleased to see him having a good time. She’d had a job persuading him to join them that night; pleading, cajoling, pointing out that it was Friday night and no one had to go to work the next day. He’d finally caved in, more to shut her up than anything else.

Just
then, a waitress came up to speak to Belinda. ‘Your girlfriend is here!’ she said, raising her voice; the entire room, it seemed, had joined in on the final chorus of Bohemian Rhapsody. Belinda looked blank. ‘My “girlfriend”?’ she asked, and the waitress pointed over to the other side of the room. Belinda stood up, trying to make out a familiar face in the crowd, and then squealed with excitement, pushing her way past people to throw her arms around a young man.

‘Hayden! What are you doing here? Who are you with? Come over and say hello to my friends!’ Belinda dragged him back to the Central FM group and did the introductions as best she could above the volume of the band.

Hayden
was an exchange student from Mexico who was studying medicine and law for a semester at Baptist University. She’d met him a couple of months earlier, also at The Cavern, and had spent the night dancing with him and his boyfriend-of-the-moment. He was as gay as the day is long; and a great dance partner. Tonight, he was here with another large group of people he’d met just hours earlier and instantly become friends with.

‘Ask him if any of them are boys, if any of them are cute, and if they are, whether they’re straight,’ Rose said to Belinda. ‘And if the answer’s yes, tell him to bring them over here.’

Belinda
duly complied and Hayden vanished back into the crowd. Several minutes later, he reappeared with four boys in tow: Paul, Bobby, Gus and Nick were from Liverpool and backpacking their way through Asia. They were polite, friendly, and easy to talk to, so Belinda and Rose found themselves enjoying the evening even more than they had thought they would, as the boys’ cameras appeared and everyone started making silly faces and pretending to snog each other for digital posterity.

Jack,
nursing his San Mig, smoking a Marlboro Light and wishing it was a spliff, watched the others having fun. He’d tried to get Abi to join them, but she pointed out that while they might not have to work the next morning, she did — that was the bastard about working in retail in Hong Kong. The shops never shut. He felt a pang as he saw Belinda and Rose flirting with the boys they had just met, envying them momentarily for being free and single. They’d probably get off with one or all of them before the night was through; all harmless fun in the end.

Then,
a familiar song began playing, and he looked over at the band as a fresh group of people began dancing. Maroon 5… Miss Allegra’s favourite band, indeed. The Bones were playing the group’s first major hit, This Love. Jack sang along under his breath with the band, and, as he idly scanned the crowd on the dancefloor, sat up with a start.

It
was Allegra. She was dancing with that boy that Belinda had introduced them to earlier, Hayden or something. Laughing as he spun her around, smiling when they danced in a close embrace, occasionally breaking out to connect with Arnel as he sang, seemingly only to her, going down on his knees so that they could sing cheek-to-cheek into his mic… Jack felt a peculiar sensation, and realised he was jealous. He wanted Allegra to be dancing with him, not Hayden. He wanted Allegra to be gazing deep into his eyes as he held her tightly to him, her arms around his neck, pulling her so close that their lips were almost touching…

Ignoring
the tidal wave of guilt that he would feel this way about another woman despite having Abi, he downed the rest of his beer and stubbed out his cigarette.

‘Excuse me, may I cut in?’

Hayden
hadn’t heard a word Jack had said, but he knew what he meant anyway. He released Allegra with a kiss on the cheek and bowed out gracefully to let Jack take over. Just then, the song ended. Allegra was looking at Jack with an expression of surprise and confusion, but her shy smile gave him the confidence he needed to step forward and take her hand. From his perch on the stage, Arnel had seen everything and, with a wink and a grin, cued the band to go into Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing. Jack pulled Allegra to him, put one arm around her waist and held her close. She rested her head on his shoulder, he could hear her as she sang along softly to the song. He felt the warmth from her body, her fingers stroking the back of his neck… He wanted to kiss her, to touch her, to taste her…He turned his face towards her and she looked up at him, still smiling.

Unable
to stop himself, he gently kissed her.

‘Omigod omigod omigod!’ Rose was literally jumping up and down, pulling at Belinda’s sleeve, pointing at the dancefloor. ‘Look look look!’

‘This had better be good,’ said Belinda, tearing herself away from Gus, with whom she’d been engaged in some intimate lip-locking. She looked over to see what Rose was getting so worked up about, and her jaw dropped. Jack was slow-dancing with a girl… and they were kissing. Well, not kissing. A kiss. Just one. He’d pulled back slightly at that point; now he and the mystery woman were gazing into each other’s eyes.

‘Who
the hell is Jack dancing with? Is that Abi? I thought she wasn’t joining us tonight.’

‘No!’ yelled Rose, in total delight. ‘It’s Allegra! See — I told you! I told you! I’m right! I win! I’m always right and I always win!’

She
laughed, grabbed Gus and promptly took up where Belinda had left off in the kissing stakes. Belinda, who’d lost interest in Gus anyway — he wasn’t a particularly skilled kisser, there was something rather ineffectual about his technique which reminded her of a dead fish — continued to gape at the sight of Jack in a tight embrace with a woman who wasn’t his girlfriend. She moved through the crowd discreetly to get a better look at her, and as she approached, saw a single tear roll down Allegra’s cheek as she gazed up into Jack’s eyes.

As
the song drew to a close, Allegra stepped backwards and disappeared into the crowd. Jack stood rooted to the spot for several seconds before turning around to return to his own table. In the flashing lights, Belinda saw Jack’s face was ashen; good Lord, did the man have tears in his eyes, too? She hastily backed away and stepped into the ladies’ room before he spotted her. She could hardly believe what she had just seen.

If
she wasn’t dreaming it all, then Jack was in love. Head-over-heels, bonkers-in-love with this Allegra person. She wondered where Abi fit into the whole scenario.